Читать книгу Reaching for the Stars - Lola Jaye - Страница 8

I decided to really take my childhood dream of becoming a writer seriously and try and make it a reality the day I officially became a psychotherapist. I’d been through a few personal issues and I was starting to think that life was too short and you had to try and reach for those stars as soon as you saw them. So, I sat down and thought about my hopes and dreams and what I wanted from my life. You could call this one of my Breakthrough Moments – something we will discuss in Chapter 9. And I realized I owed it to myself to begin the journey to become a writer.

So I applied the ‘skills’ I’d used to become a psychotherapist, again starting off with a list;

Work

Write in the evenings and at weekends

Read lots

Send off sample chapters

Get published!

I knew it wouldn’t be easy. But like before, I decided to plan for it. At the end of my planning and as I looked at my list, I realized I could work as a psychotherapist whilst I tried to become a writer in my spare time. I was finally going to go for it. After all those stories written in my top floor bedroom, I was finally going to pursue my dream of becoming a writer!

Yippee!

Okay, things are never that simple. Just saying ‘I am going to do x’ doesn’t mean it’s simply going to happen. There may be big fat challenges that crop up from time to time. Like, not being able to find the time to even make a list or being told yet again that you don’t have enough experience for that job you want. If no one will give you a chance, how do you get the experience? Not having the energy to do anything other than go to bed, after a long day at work. And that good Old Faithful of emotions: Fear.

We are all faced with challenges daily, but how we deal with them is really important. In the long run, it’s how we face challenges that can make us stronger. You may not believe it, but let me explain…

It was a challenge the day I got my very first letter from a large publisher. I had written a few chapters of my first ever novel, called Psychobabble. I sent it off and I was confident – no, I knew – I had written something great.

What could go wrong?

Also, I was excited that my writing was finally being seen, because as a writer, it’s only you who really gets to read your work. So when I got a letter back from the publisher, I was so excited! I tore open that envelope really quickly, lots of deep breaths and started to read it. The Managing Director of a major publishers had sent me a personal letter! And then I read it again just to be sure I wasn’t seeing things. I just couldn’t believe what he had written back to me…Anyway, he basically said he wasn’t exactly a fan of my writing, but hey, my idea was good! Oh and he wasn’t interested in publishing my lovely novel, either.

What?

I was devastated.

All I wanted to do was roll under my duvet and stay there for as long as I could. Fear began to creep in again. Perhaps I was wrong to go for my dream of becoming a writer. What if I had been kidding myself? What if I just didn’t have the ability?

So, as well as popping up before you’ve even taken the plunge, fear can also reappear once you’re in the process of pursuing your dream.

Actually, it’s going to pop up time and time again in the course of this book. It is such a powerful emotion. It can stop most people from taking risks and making major, potentially positive life changes. So let’s look at ways you can combat it during its early stage.

First, ask yourself what you are afraid of. Jot down a list of all the things you fear will happen if you were to go for your dream.

Look at each fear individually. Ask yourself what would happen if that fear came true? Then think about how you would resolve the problem if it came about.

After that, think about all the positive things that could happen if you went for your dream, and then flip it! Start thinking about how you’d feel if you STAYED in your current situation and NEVER went for your dream. Now how does that feel?

For me, it was horrible to receive such a knock so early on. For a few days I almost let it make me want to give up. But I knew that I didn’t want to do anything else. Writing was definitely for me. Then I unfolded the letter a few more times and began to really look at what this head honcho publishing man had said.

And my thoughts went from:

I’m crap at this.

I can’t write. Full stop.

Give up this dream.

To:

He liked my idea but the writing was rubbish.

I can’t write but hey, I had a good idea for a book.

He liked my idea!

If you look at my thought process above, you can see that I’d gone from seeing this rejection as something negative to finding a sort of positive spin to it. I was able to see that fifty per cent of the problem was solved – I had a good idea for a book. I just needed to brush up my writing skills. Of course I would have preferred it the other way round, but never mind, it was better than nothing! So, one day, I felt a surge of confidence overpower me.

If the writing wasn’t good enough, then I would improve.

So I wrote and wrote, improving with each paragraph. I also bought a book on publishing, which said it was best to get an agent to work on your behalf to find a publisher. And that is what I decided to do. I was determined to become a published author and nothing would stop me! The saying about ‘dusting yourself off and trying again’ suddenly made sense to me. I felt energized enough to carry on. I knew that without writing, I didn’t know what I would do.