Читать книгу Regency Surrender: Passion And Rebellion - Энни Берроуз, Louise Allen - Страница 52

Chapter Four

Sarah lost no time in changing for the evening after her pupils had gone to their own rooms. John was clearly excited at the prospect for it was the first time he had been allowed to have dinner in the dining room, with the exception of Christmas dinner, which was always earlier so that the staff could enjoy a little free time in the evening. Francesca was pleased, but trying hard to be grown-up and take it all in her stride.

Having changed quickly into a simple grey-silk gown, which was the only one of her own that Sarah had brought with her and suitable for dinner should she be summoned to dine with the family, she went downstairs to find Lord Myers. One of the footmen directed her to the library and she found him perusing the shelves, which were set out on three sides of the room. There were several long windows to let in the light and a set of French windows, which might be opened to allow access to the garden. A perfect room for studying.

‘Forgive me for disturbing you, my lord,’ she said in what she hoped was the tone a governess might use. ‘I see you enjoy reading, which may make you more disposed to granting my request. I find the schoolroom inadequately provided for my pupils’ education and I hoped we might have permission to use the library for an hour or two each morning.’

He turned to look at her, his eyes narrowing as they studied her. Sarah wondered if her gown was too smart. It was the simplest she had and she would not have worn it had he not made it impossible for her to refuse to dine with him.

‘I am not sure what my uncle would think about his privacy being invaded should he decide to come down—but while he is in London I see no reason why we should not share the facility. I like to read in the evenings when we do not have company, but I shall be busy in the estate office in the mornings. Shall we say from nine-thirty to eleven-thirty the library is yours and the children’s?’

‘That is most generous, my lord.’ Sarah approached the shelves. ‘Is there a good poetry section? I dare say there is little new here...’

‘Oh, I think you may find enough to keep yourselves amused. My uncle may not visit often, but he is a collector of books. You will not find books bought by the yard here. All of them have been read and handled—and there are a few new novels here. I imagine my uncle bought them for his niece.’

‘John told me their last tutor forbade them the use of this room.’

‘Then he exceeded his authority.’ Lord Myers looked annoyed. ‘It seems to me that my uncle has been ill served as regards to his grandchildren. They were neglected, Miss Goodrum. I do not intend that it shall happen again.’

‘John will benefit from your tuition, sir. I hope I may do the same for Francesca.’

‘She admires you.’ His gaze was stern, his sensual mouth set in a hard line. ‘You will not let her down, Miss Goodrum. I shall be watching her progress.’

‘I hope to prove my worth to you.’ Sarah raised her head. ‘Thank you for your generosity.’

‘The library should be available to all.’ His gaze intensified, dwelling on her in a way that sent little shivers down her spine. ‘I am not sure who you are, Miss Goodrum—but I intend to discover the truth.’

‘I am not sure I understand you.’

‘Do you not? Then perhaps I am wrong—but I sense a mystery. If I discover that you are not what you profess to be, I shall be merciless. As I told you before, I do not take kindly to liars.’

Sarah found it difficult to suppress the shiver that ran through her. Had she given herself away already? How could he know that she was not a governess—and what did he imagine her to be?

‘Francesca is an impressionable young girl,’ he continued. ‘She has begun to trust you. Please do not give me cause to dismiss you. I should be loath to destroy her faith in the first person to offer her friendship.’

‘I have no intention of harming either John or Francesca.’

He moved towards her, staring down into her face for a moment before reaching out to tilt her chin so that she was forced to look into his eyes. Sarah felt a tingle of some strange new sensation; it started low in her abdomen and spread throughout her body, making her feel hot. Her cheeks were warm and she wanted to jerk away, but held her ground.

‘Are you an adventuress?’ he asked, quirking a dark eyebrow. She could not help noticing that his mouth looked perfect for kissing and she trembled inside. A man like this was dangerous. Despite his sensual appeal, he had a look of iron about him and she feared what he might do if he guessed she had deceived them all. ‘What do you hope to gain by coming here? Did you think you might capture yourself a wealthy husband? Had you heard Merrivale was a lonely old man who might fall for your charms?’

Sarah caught her breath and then the absurdity of his question made her laugh. It was so far from the truth that she felt her tension melting away.

‘You have a vivid imagination, Lord Myers,’ she said. ‘I do not count my charms so high that I would ever seek to advance myself in the way you suggest. I am sorry I have given you such a poor opinion of my character. I assure you it is undeserved.’

‘Indeed?’ He bent his head and kissed her, his mouth soft and yet demanding, evoking a swift response. For a moment she felt light-headed, her heart racing as he deepened his kiss, and she wanted to swoon into his arms. Something inside her longed to respond to his demand and she felt a rising need, a sweet heat between her thighs that she had never experienced before.

Suddenly realising that her response must be confirming his opinion of her, she placed her hands against his shoulders and pushed him back. As anger replaced the feeling of bliss, she raised her hand and would have slapped him as hard as she could had he not caught her by the wrist.

‘So there is fire beneath the cool calm exterior,’ he murmured and there was devilry in his eyes. ‘You intrigue me, Miss Goodrum. I am not usually wrong in my first impressions and I know you have not always been a governess. You are hiding something, but I shall find you out.’

‘You are no gentleman, sir,’ she replied coldly. The look she gave him had quelled the mill managers who had tried to dismiss her authority when she took over her father’s business empire. They had sought to cheat and ridicule her, but she’d faced them down—and she would put this rogue in his place. Even if she had felt close to swooning at his kiss—but that just showed she was a foolish spinster starved of a man’s love. What on earth was she thinking of to have allowed it to continue before pushing him away? He was far from being the kind of husband she needed, were she to decide to marry. ‘I am aware that you have a privileged position in this house but that does not give you the right to question my morality or to attempt seduction in this manner. If you ever behave this way again I shall give in my notice—and I shall make it plain to the marquess why I was forced to leave.’

‘She has claws,’ he said, looking amused. ‘Come, Miss Goodrum, you did not find the experience so very unpleasant, I think?’

‘You insulted me and then tried to take advantage of me. I should like to make it plain that I will not stand for such behaviour. If you feel me unsuited to the position, you may dismiss me.’

‘Dismiss you?’ His gaze burned her to the core and her stomach clenched. ‘Oh, no, I have no intention of sending you away until I discover the truth. I thought I might find an extended visit to the country a trifle boring, but it is no such thing. I shall enjoy crossing swords with you, Miss Goodrum.’

‘I would prefer that you keep your distance. We must remain on good terms for the sake of the children, my lord—but I see no reason for our paths to cross other than in their company.’

‘Do you not?’ He smiled oddly. ‘You rest on your dignity, but it was a different matter when I kissed you. Yet I would not harm you if you are truly what

you claim to be. We shall endeavour to be polite to one another for the sake of John and Francesca—but you are the most unusual governess I have ever met.’

‘Is that necessarily a bad thing?’ Sarah raised her eyes to his. ‘I give you my word that I am not an adventuress, nor did I come here to entrap anyone into marriage.’

‘Shall I believe you?’ He looked at her steadily. His strong features had relaxed and there was a teasing light in his eyes, as if he were playing with her, as a cat with a mouse. ‘Yes, perhaps I shall. So what is it you are hiding? Are you in trouble? I might be able to help you if that is the case.’

‘I am perfectly capable of looking after my own affairs.’ Sarah raised her head proudly. ‘I believe that was the dinner gong. We should go in or we shall keep the others waiting.’

He inclined his head, offering her his arm. ‘As you say, Miss Goodrum. Please accept my apologies if I have wronged you.’

Sarah hesitated and then placed the tips of her fingers on his arm, her head high as they walked towards the dining room. She could only keep her distance and hope he would do the same.

The last thing she’d expected when she came here was to find herself having to fend off the advances of a man she suspected was a rake. Charming and undeniably attractive, he would make most female hearts flutter, but Sarah had come here to escape from the unwanted attentions of a similar man.

Had she been less stubborn she might have fled the next morning, but she had no intention of letting Lord Myers drive her away.

* * *

Rupert watched the governess across the table as she talked and laughed with her pupils. She seemed very at home, very much as if she were accustomed to dining in style, and showed no hesitation in choosing the correct glasses and silver. Her manner was calm and assured, and, apart from the dark looks she sent his way now and then, she seemed perfectly at ease. He knew himself at fault for that kiss, but she’d looked at him with such a challenge in her eyes that he’d been tempted. If she were truly what she claimed, he had wronged her, but his instincts told him that she was far from the downtrodden drudge that most women in her situation became after a few years.

The dress she was wearing this evening was far too stylish to belong to a governess. It was plain and simple, but in perfect taste, and must have cost as much as she would earn in a year. How could she possibly own a dress like that if she were what she claimed to be? It must have been given to her, possibly made to fit her—and who would give a governess such a gift? Yet it was not what he would have purchased for a mistress. Instead it had an understated elegance that a lady with refined taste might choose.

The gown had made him think she must be an adventuress, which had led him into that foolish kiss. He was here to mentor his uncle’s grandchildren and the last thing he should contemplate was an affair with their governess. Perhaps a grateful employer had given her the gown, as a gift?

If that were the case, he had definitely wronged her, but it did not explain her manner. Summoned to eat with their employer, most governesses would show reserve or some awkwardness even if their manners were excellent, as hers were. No, she was accustomed to dining like this—and she felt it her right.

Only a woman who felt assured of her place in the world could be so at home in the situation he had forced her to accept. Had he met her in society he would not have placed her in the upper echelons, but she would certainly be accepted. Why, then, was she a governess? Had her family fallen on hard times? Yet if she were in desperate need of a job she would not be so confident—so assured. His suspicion deepened. Rupert had reason enough to distrust the female sex. His heart broken when he was no more than a lad, he’d never offered it again. Since then he’d amused himself with ladies of a certain kind, most of them married or widowed. A few of his mistresses had been courtesans, prepared to sell themselves to the highest bidder, and were usually not to be trusted.

Miss Goodrum did not follow the pattern for a downtrodden governess, which made him certain that she was not what she claimed. It followed that she was hiding something—but rather than fear he’d seen a challenge in her eyes. And she had responded to that kiss.

Her manner had aroused Rupert’s hunting instincts. He found her intriguing, and, yes, had he met her in other circumstances, he might have attempted to make her his mistress.

Who was she and why was she here? Their eyes met across the table and he smiled, seeing the uncertainty in hers. Had he made an enemy of her? Rupert suddenly found himself hoping that he could recover the lost ground. She looked so right somehow as she laughed and teased John and encouraged Francesca. He experienced a strange emotion that he could not place—as if he had found a place of content, of belonging.

For the first time in an age he wanted to be a part of that family scene. It struck him then that Miss Goodrum was more like an aunt or an elder sister to Francesca, and the smile on her lips was both generous and sweet.

Yet there was a mystery here. He’d sensed it from the start and he took hold of his emotions, reining them in. A woman’s smile could deceive so easily. He’d been burned as a young man, his pride ripped to pieces and his heart damaged. Since then he’d chosen carefully and made sure that none of the ladies he took to his bed had buried their claws in his skin.

The governess had claws. There was passion and fire beneath the cool exterior. It would certainly prove amusing to discover who she really was and why she’d come here.

What was she hiding from?

* * *

John was sent to bed as soon as dinner was over. Francesca was allowed to drink a dish of tea in the drawing room with her governess, but as soon as Lord Myers joined them, he sent her off to bed. Sarah immediately rose to her feet to follow. He caught her wrist, as she would have passed him.

The candles were burning low in their sconces and the fire had ceased to burn fiercely. Shadows seemed to creep over the room, making it feel intimate and tempting her to stay—but she must not!

‘There is no need for you to leave, Miss Goodrum.’

‘I think there is every need, sir. Please allow me to pass.’ Sarah’s heart raced at his nearness, the mystique of his scent powerful and attractive. She ran the tip of her tongue over her lips, knowing that this was a dangerous situation. She must go before he tried to seduce her.

He let go reluctantly, his expression odd and almost regretful. ‘I am sorry for what I said earlier. I was testing you. You must admit that dress is not the usual attire for a governess.’

‘No, I suppose not. It belongs to the time when my father was alive. He bought it for me as a gift. My father was careful with his money, sir, and he spent it on me.’

Sarah avoided his searching gaze, though her words were not far from the truth. She’d purchased the gown when her first period of mourning was over with the money her beloved father had left her and because it was a favourite she’d kept it. Had she worn some of her other newer gowns she could not have hoped to keep her secret.

‘Then I apologise for casting aspersions on your character. Come, Miss Goodrum, will you not forgive me?’

‘Consider yourself forgiven, my lord. I only wish to be on good terms with you.’

She deliberately made her voice flat, calm and

emotionless, hoping that her reserve would make him step back.

‘Then I shall not tease you again. We must not allow our charges to sense animosity between us.’

‘No, that would be unfortunate,’ she agreed, bringing her eyes up to his. His expression set her heart thumping. She had seen that look in a man’s eyes before and it disturbed her. Normally she had no hesitation in dealing with unwanted seducers, but this man was different, more powerful and compelling than any other she’d met. ‘We shall try to be easy in one another’s company for their sakes.’

‘May I not be counted as a friend?’

‘I think you ask a little too much, sir. I hardly know you—but perhaps in time we may progress to friendship.’

‘Very well. I was wrong to assume you were an adventuress—but my offer remains. If you are in trouble, I should be glad to be of service.’

‘Thank you. I shall bear that in mind. Now, if you will excuse me, sir.’

‘Very well. I shall not detain you against your will. I shall take John riding first thing in the morning, but he will be back in time for his lessons.’

‘You must do as you think fit, sir. I believe he has a great deal of energy that needs an outlet. Riding, fencing and other sports may help him to settle to his studies.’

‘I believe so. Goodnight, Miss Goodrum. Pleasant dreams.’

‘Thank you.’

Sarah inclined her head and walked on past him. Her heart had raced at his touch, but she had clamped down on her foolish emotions. Gentlemen in his position too often took advantage of female employees who could not easily escape their attentions. He had promised not to bother her again, but the look in his eyes had said something different.

She could not deny that she had felt the pull of his attraction, but he was not for her. As Miss Hardcastle she might attract proposals from gentlemen who needed a fortune to finance their extravagant lifestyles, but if she was not prepared to buy herself a husband, she certainly had no intention of becoming any man’s mistress. Sarah might choose marriage if the right opportunity presented itself—but not to a man like Lord Myers.

She did not know his fortune, but she recognised the sensuality of the man, the attraction that must make him popular with ladies of his own class—and others. Sarah had no doubt that he was a physical man who took mistresses whenever he chose—and that was not the kind of man she needed in her life. Such a man could not be trusted. As charming as he was, she would never be certain that he would not stray into another’s bed. Sarah knew that only a very beautiful and clever woman would capture the heart of a man like that, and she could not hope that he would want more from her than a brief affair to enliven a dull stay in the country.

Nor did she wish it, of course. When Sarah married, if she ever did, it would be to a quiet man who enjoyed books; a man who would be there if she needed him but also be content to stay in the background and allow her to continue to run her mills, should she wish to do so. Sarah had fought for the right to run her mills, but was not sure whether she wished to continue. Were she happily married with a family she thought she might be content to let her husband take over her affairs. However, she did not intend to be dictated to and told she must relinquish them entirely. She could not imagine that Lord Myers would ever be content to let his wife do something he would consider beneath her dignity.

He was a very attractive man, but his character left much to be desired from what she’d seen thus far. He would not make a suitable husband for Miss Sarah Hardcastle and might run through her fortune in an instant, given the opportunity.

She had not run away from one fortune hunter to fall into the arms of another, even if she did find him attractive. No such thing! She was not truly attracted to him.

It was merely that she had been lonely since her father died, of course. Her father had been such a loving companion and what she really wanted was someone to take his place, to care for her and watch over her, but demand little other than warm affection.

Lord Myers would not have received more than a moment’s fleeting attention from her had they met in company. It was only that she was forced to live in what was undoubtedly an intimate situation with him.

What had brought him here? He did not seem the kind of man to relish the obligations that his uncle had asked of him. She would have thought him more at home in the drawing rooms of London society, rather than playing mentor to a young boy. Why should he give up his time and his way of life to come down here?

He accused her of hiding, but perhaps he too had something to hide? What had made him the man he was? Sarah wondered if some secret lay in his past. He was of an age to have been married for some years. Surely he must want a wife and children of his own—though of course she was assuming he had not for she knew so little about him. However, Francesca would surely have mentioned it if he had a wife?

So why had he stayed single? What had brought that hard glitter to his eyes and the brittle layer that hid the real man from the casual eye? He had a sense of humour, she knew—so what had made him so suspicious of her? Was it just that he did not trust women in general?

Oh, this was ridiculous! She must dismiss him from her mind for it was dangerous to allow a man like that into her thoughts.

Despite her determination to be sensible, Sarah found her thoughts dwelling too often on the handsome Lord Rupert as she undressed. She pulled down the covers on her bed, looking for any unpleasant objects that a teenage boy might have placed there as a prank, but found nothing untoward. Obviously, she’d passed her first test with the children at least.

She would forget their mentor and concentrate her thoughts on them. She was here to be of service to the children.

Francesca wasn’t a child, though. She was on the verge of womanhood. In past centuries she might have been married by now; she might even have had a child of her own. To treat her as a child would be foolish. Sarah had taken to the girl and, as she slipped into bed and leaned forwards to blow out the candle beside it, she was determined to do what she could to make her life better. She would enjoy getting to know her charge and she would find it pleasant to share her own love of reading, poetry, history and even the occasional novel.

There was a wealth of books on the library shelves, including some with pictures of mythical beasts that she thought might appeal to John. Perhaps she wasn’t a conventional governess, but she was quite capable of giving them both an education. Sarah loved to play the pianoforte and she thought Francesca might enjoy playing a duet with her.

Life here could be extremely comfortable and pleasant. She would be able to walk first thing in the morning if her lessons were not to start until nine-thirty. She would have liked to ride, but wasn’t sure that privilege would be granted to a governess.

For a moment she felt a pang of regret. Her own horses would miss her and so would her dogs—and some of her servants. She had written to reassure everyone that she was quite safe. She would have to make sure that she kept in touch with her agents or they might become anxious about her and set up a search to find her.

Closing her eyes, Sarah drifted off to sleep, though her dreams were unaccountably disturbed by the look on a man’s face.

‘Who are you?’ he asked. ‘I shall find you out...you cannot hide from me...’

* * *

Rupert frowned as he brooded over his glass of wine after the governess had gone up. The shadows seemed to fold about him and he was aware that the room seemed empty. He was a fool to allow the woman under his skin, because very likely she would turn out to be the adventuress he’d imagined her at first. Yet something about her had captured his interest and he’d wanted her to stay after the children had gone up.

It was years since Rupert had enjoyed feminine company—other than in bed. Most society women bored him and he was wary of foolish young misses who were out to capture a husband. To have sat talking into the night with an intelligent woman would be pleasant, he thought.

In London he was seldom aware that he was lonely because he spent his evenings either at his club in the company of male friends, drinking, gambling or talking of politics and the price of stocks, or with his mistress. Had his uncle been here he might not have realised his lack, but in this situation it had come to him forcibly that his life was far from satisfactory.

As a young man Rupert had imagined that he would fall in love, marry and rear a large family, but a woman who preferred money and a superior title had shattered those dreams. He’d taken his bruised heart and damaged pride off to war and had for a time found content with his fellow officers—but when they turned against him...

Rupert’s mind shied away from the memories. Mixed with the pain of seeing his men broken and dying, their blood spilling out on the hot dry earth, what happened later was too painful to contemplate. He’d shut away his pain and hurt, just as he’d shut out the humiliation he’d received at a woman’s hands, determined to rise above the petty spite of others. And he’d succeeded so well that he’d come to be what he wanted others to think him—careless, stern and reserved. Rupert needed no one’s approval. He was his own man, ruled by principles of iron and he answered to no one. Only a few ever saw the other side of him—a side he had almost forgotten.

Once he’d known how to enjoy the small pleasures in life. He’d known how to love, to show caring and to give and take joy from being intimate with another.

That was years ago, before he’d learned that no woman was to be trusted. They were all the same—greedy, grabbing, jealous little kittens that liked to be stroked and given a saucer of cream, but would scratch you if you annoyed them.

Undoubtedly, the governess was exactly the same, though for the moment he confessed to being more than a little intrigued, if only by the mystery he sensed in her past.

Yet she had reached out to him in a way few other women ever had, arousing feelings of need and desire with just one flash of her gorgeous eyes.

* * *

Sarah awoke when a maid drew back the curtains. She yawned and stretched, her mind still lost in dreams as she said, ‘Good morning, Tilly. Have you brought my chocolate?’

‘It’s Agnes, Miss Goodrum—and you told Mrs Brancaster you would take breakfast downstairs.’

‘Yes, of course,’ Sarah said, the realisation of where she was returning with a rush. She had given herself away and could only hope the maid would not repeat her words to others. ‘If I go down immediately I shall be finished by the time the family is up. I do not see why you should wait on me.’

‘I’ve brought your hot water, miss—as Mrs Brancaster told me.’

‘Thank you, that was kind.’ Sarah threw back the covers. On waking she’d thought she was at home and her own maid was bringing her the hot chocolate she took every morning before she rose.

It would be a while before she accustomed herself to the life she had chosen—a very different life, but one that had its own compensations.

After Agnes had gone, Sarah washed, dressed in one of Hester’s sensible gowns and, on looking from the window to see the sun was shining, decided against a shawl. Since she was walking on private grounds she saw no reason to wear a bonnet and left her room without one.

She found her way down the back stairs to a side entrance that led into a walled garden. The bricks were faded, trailed with roses and clematis, and would look a picture in a few weeks from now. However, she was accustomed to long country walks near her home and left the pleasant garden to explore more of the estate. She had insufficient time to walk as far as the village she’d seen, but would certainly do so on her day off. Hester had been promised one a month, which could be saved and taken together for visits home. Sarah would require only a few hours of freedom, perhaps in the early mornings or at night. If necessary, she might have to visit her home to reassure her anxious friends—if she continued here for more than a few weeks, of course.

Should Lord Myers discover her true identity she might find herself summarily dismissed. Sarah would be truly sorry if that happened. She had a lovely house herself and friends, but at home there was always the sense that she was being watched...that people were waiting for her to make mistakes.

She would forget her worries and enjoy her walk. The air was fresh and there was a hint of real warmth for later. Sarah walked as far as a small lake, where she watched ducks and swans gliding on its still waters. There was an intriguing wood to the right of the lake and a summer house that looked interesting. Perhaps she had found the site for their picnic, she mused as she returned to the house.

Her walk had made her hungry and she entered the breakfast room, thinking she would have it to herself, but a little to her dismay she discovered Lord Myers sitting at the table. He got to his feet as she entered, came round the table and pulled out a chair.

‘I was hoping you might join me, Miss Goodrum.’

‘I thought I might have finished before the family came down.’

‘You will not disturb me. I enjoy company at meals and I am an early riser, unlike most of my friends, who rarely show their faces before noon.’

Sarah’s cheeks were warm. She kept her back towards him as she looked beneath the silver covers and chose from scrambled eggs, kedgeree, devilled kidneys and bacon, making her choice before returning to the table.

‘I did not wish to make more work for the maids by having my breakfast brought up. Mrs Brancaster thought it would be suitable for me to take my meals here since you invited me to dine last evening.’

‘Why make more work for the servants? I’ve told John and Francesca that they may join us for all meals. We are a small family, Miss Goodrum, so why not make the most of each other’s company?’

‘It seems ridiculous to have meals taken to the nursery when we do not intend to spend much time there.’

‘Exactly. Others may find the practice unconventional, but I can see no reason why the children of the family should not join their parents—unless they are ill-behaved and would annoy the guests.’

‘We have no guests....’

‘How perceptive of you, Miss Goodrum,’ he said and there was a gleam of mockery in his eyes.

‘Do you enjoy mocking everything and everyone?’

‘If one could not laugh at the world it would be a dull place, do you not agree?’

‘Yes, perhaps.’ Sarah’s mouth was unaccountably smiling despite her determination to keep her distance. ‘Do you intend on inviting guests to stay?’

If he did so she would need to change her arrangements, for guests would not expect to see the governess at every meal.

‘We may have that picnic John was so keen on and we shall encourage people to visit for tea—but I think no house guests at the moment. Unless my uncle decides to visit; he might come down at any time, of course.’

‘You were not thinking of holding a dinner?’

‘Not for the moment. Unless, as I said, my uncle decides to visit his grandchildren. He told me he has no intention of it until Christmas, but he might change his mind.’

‘Yes, I can see that would change things.’ Sarah swallowed a little scrambled egg and a piece of kidney. She touched the napkin to her mouth and glanced at him. ‘Would it be rude of me to ask why a gentleman like you would agree to be John’s mentor for six months? I should have thought you might prefer to be in town—or have business at your own estate.’

‘Should you?’ His brows rose. ‘I see no reason why I should answer your question, but I shall tell you that my estate is within a day’s ride should I need to visit it—and I do have agents and managers to run it for me.’

‘Yes, of course, but there is always some little detail needing attention, do you not find? Things that only you can decide...’ Sarah dipped her head as his eyes narrowed in suspicion. ‘My father always said he could not leave his business for long...’

‘I thought you said he was a mine manager?’

‘Yes, he was,’ Sarah agreed. ‘He was always very busy and had little time for his family. Especially after my mother died.’

‘Was that long ago?’

‘I was twelve at the time. I grew closer to my father and sometimes accompanied him on...’ She had been going to say journeys, for her father had travelled between the mine and the mills. ‘On his way to work,’ she finished lamely.

‘That was before you went to school?’

‘Yes, I had a governess. She did not approve of me spending so much time at the m...mine.’ Again she had been going to say mills and bit back her words. This was a dangerous subject and if she were not careful she would betray herself.

At that moment the door opened and both John and Francesca entered. After exchanging greetings with Sarah and Lord Myers, they went to the sideboard and began to choose from the various dishes. John was clearly impressed by the choice and spent some time filling his plate.

‘Can you eat all that?’ Sarah asked. ‘You must remember that we shall eat nuncheon later—unless we just have some fruit and biscuits? I thought we might ramble later this afternoon. We can collect wild flowers and stones, things that we can draw or make into a collection. If Lord Myers has no other plans?’

‘I couldn’t resist,’ John said honestly. ‘We never get all this in the nursery. I should like to go rambling if Rupert has nothing else planned.’

‘As a matter of fact, I had planned that we should start your fencing lessons after nuncheon. We shall spend an hour teaching you the first moves and then I had thought you might wish to play a ball game on the lawn. However, you may go walking after the fencing lesson if you prefer.’

‘No, I’d rather stay with you,’ John said and attacked his food as if he had been starved for the past year.

‘Better slow down a bit,’ Lord Myers advised and John immediately sat back, chewing more thoroughly.

‘I’d like to play ball games,’ Francesca said. ‘I’d like to watch the fencing, too—but it may be best if I wait until John has learned a few moves. We could ramble for a while and then come back and join the others, couldn’t we, Sarah?’

‘Yes, of course,’ Sarah said and saw Lord Myers’s brows shoot up. ‘I told Francesca she might use my preferred name when we are alone, my lord.’

‘Indeed, Miss Goodrum?’ He looked at her through narrowed eyes. ‘I thought your name was Hester?’

Sarah felt her cheeks growing warm. ‘I never liked the name and my father had a pet name for me. It was my mother’s name also....’

‘I see. Are we all allowed to call you by this...pet name? Or is it only for Francesca?’

‘In company I think it would be best if I remained Miss Goodrum. I leave the rest to your good sense, Lord Myers.’

‘Ah, I see.’ A gleam appeared in his eyes. ‘I shall give the matter my full attention, Miss Goodrum.’

Sarah felt her cheeks flame. Had they been alone she might have made a sharp retort, but decided to change the subject.

For the remainder of their meal, she addressed her remarks to John and Francesca and was relieved when Lord Myers got up and excused himself.

‘I have some estate business to attend to while I am here,’ he said. ‘I shall see you after nuncheon, John—and we shall play some kind of ball game on the lawns at about three this afternoon.’

* * *

Soon after he departed Sarah left the others to finish and went to the library. She had chosen the books they were to discuss by the time Francesca and John arrived. Having found a bestiary for John to peruse and some poetry books that she thought Francesca would like, she spent the next half an hour reading poetry. As she chose a poem that told of daring deeds and men’s lives laid down on the field of battle, she was not surprised that John paid full attention to her reading.

‘It was a brave thing Horatio did in laying down his life for the men he fought with, wasn’t it, miss?’ he said when she put down the book. ‘I think I should like to be a soldier and fight for honour and glory.’

‘Perhaps you will when you are older.’ Sarah smiled at him. ‘Now I am going to read a romantic poem for Francesca’s sake. You may wish to peruse your bestiary, John—but I should like you to write me a short piece about the battle scenes we just discussed in your own time. Can you do that for me?’

‘Yes, miss. May I write it as a story?’

‘If you wish. Yes, I think that would be an excellent idea.’ She opened her book and smiled at Francesca. ‘This is Colonel Lovelace’s letter to Lucasta on the eve of Battle. Although it has the same theme, it is romantic and I think you may enjoy it.’

She began to read, noticing that although John had opened his book, clearly disgusted at the idea of a sloppy romance, he soon began to listen to the poem and the others Sarah read to them.

‘For your essay I would like you to write about what romance is—and what you think Lucasta meant to Colonel Lovelace to make him write such a poem, Francesca.’

‘Oh, yes...it was so romantic,’ Francesca said and sighed. ‘Love is a wonderful thing, is it not? Have you ever been in love, Sarah?’

‘No, I haven’t. I loved my father, but I think being in love is very different.’

‘How does one know whether love is real?’

‘I am not sure—but I think when it happens one feels it in here.’ Sarah placed a hand over her heart. ‘If you think it is happening to you one day, you must give yourself time to be sure, Francesca—but I think you will know in your heart if it’s real.’

‘Men can let you down, though, can’t they? I heard about one of the servant girls...’ Francesca glanced at John, who appeared to have his nose firmly in his book. ‘Something happened to her and she was sent away in disgrace. I asked Mrs Brancaster why and she said a man had let poor Alice down. I wasn’t sure what she meant.’

‘Ah...’ Sarah swallowed hard. She hadn’t realised the girl was so innocent. ‘That is something we ought to discuss another day—perhaps in private.’

‘It meant she was having a baby and she wasn’t wed,’ John said, proving that his ears were still listening even if his nose was in the book. ‘Timothy the groom told me Alice wouldn’t say who the father was, but he thought—’

‘Yes, well, perhaps it is best if we do not speculate on such matters,’ Sarah said. She herself had learned from her old nurse where babies came from when she was sixteen and one of her father’s maids had also been dismissed for having committed the terrible sin of lying with one of the grooms.

‘I sort of knew that,’ Francesca admitted. ‘But not why she was in trouble... I mean, what made her?’

Sarah’s cheeks were warm. ‘There are a few books on anatomy, which might explain how it works. However, making babies happens when a man and a woman make love—and that starts with kissing. There is more, which it would not be appropriate for us to discuss at the moment—but it is the reason your mama would have told you not to let men kiss you, if she were still here.’

‘Mrs Brancaster said something of the sort, but I didn’t understand her. If people are in love, why is it wrong to kiss and make babies?’

‘I dare say it is not wrong. In fact, it is perfectly right and natural—but society and the church say that it must only happen when the man and woman are married. That is why Mrs Brancaster said poor Alice had been let down by a man. He may not have wished to marry her after...afterwards.’

‘Then he was unkind and cruel,’ Francesca said. She frowned. ‘I think I should like to read those books on anatomy, please.’

‘I will find them for you.’ Sarah got up and went to the shelves. She ran her finger along them and took out two, which after looking at the pictures, she judged to be matter-of-fact tomes, which dealt with such matters. She handed them to Francesca. ‘This explains how it happens and the workings of a woman’s—and a man’s—body but not why. If the attraction is there, feelings are aroused...but you should never give in to them before marriage. If you did so, you would lose your reputation and you would never find the kind of husband your family would wish you to have. Also, you would be shamed and many hostesses would not admit you to their drawing rooms.’

‘Yes, I see.’ Francesca put away the books along with with her poetry volumes just as the bell sounded for nuncheon. ‘I should go to my room first. Thank you, Sarah. I’ve learned more this morning than I did in all the time my last governess was here.’

‘But I saw some of the work you did with her. You can write quite well in French, Francesca, as well as being advanced in your Latin verbs.’

‘What good will such things do me in life?’ Francesca asked. ‘Someone told me gentlemen do not like clever girls. I need to know about love and having children.’

Sarah made no reply. The morning had proved more eventful than she’d intended and she was busy with her thoughts as she ran up to her room to wash her hands. Both of her pupils had lively enquiring minds and it seemed they were thirsty for knowledge. She had answered their questions honestly, but she wasn’t sure that her teaching was exactly what their uncle might wish them to learn.

* * *

Nuncheon was a pleasant interlude. No one was particularly hungry and Sarah noticed that Francesca followed her lead and ate mostly fruit, drinking a pleasant cordial and eating some gooseberries that were deliciously ripe and stewed with a rich pastry crust and custard.

After the meal John departed with his mentor to begin his fencing lessons and Francesca took Sarah on a long ramble about the estate, showing her parts of it that she had not yet ventured to alone. As they walked, Sarah explained more of how babies were made and what she knew of love, which was, she admitted, very little.

‘I have felt tempted,’ she said when Francesca pressed for more. ‘But I knew it was wrong. I have been asked to marry, but as I had no feelings for the gentleman I refused. I should not want him to kiss me—or do any of the other things of that I have been told, but have no experience.’

‘I just wanted to know what Alice had done to be sent off like that,’ Francesca said. ‘It doesn’t seem fair that she lost her job, but he—well, she wouldn’t tell anyone who it was.’

‘She was being loyal to him, but I think it a mistake. If he promised her marriage, he should have been made to wed her.’

‘But he might have lost his job, too. Mrs Brancaster said that the maids were not allowed followers.’

‘You can understand why. If they get into trouble, they have to leave and then the housekeeper has to train a new girl.’

‘Yes, I see that—but why not let her stay until she has the baby? Afterwards, she could work part of the time, couldn’t she?’

‘I dare say Mrs Brancaster is doing what she thinks right. You see, Alice had been immoral by her standards—and that is how most people see it.’

‘Do you not think it unfair?’

‘Well, yes, I do. However, one has to live by the rules, Francesca. If it had happened to a girl in my employ, I should have tried to help her—but she would still have had to leave, because of the example it sets to others.’

‘I still think it’s unfair,’ Francesca said. ‘I liked Alice and I cried when she left.’

‘Yes, I can see that it would upset you. I dare say Mrs Brancaster did not like to do it, but she might have lost her own job if she had neglected her duty. Your grandfather would not have wished for a girl like that to continue in his service. It’s the way of the world and we shall not change it.’

‘Women can’t change anything, can they? Men rule our lives. If we have a fortune, our father or guardian controls it until we marry and then our husband takes over and it belongs to him.’

‘Not always...’ Sarah frowned, because her uncle had tried to control her and failed. ‘If a woman has a fortune and is strong enough and clever enough, she may control it herself.’

Francesca was silent, as if absorbing this knowledge.

Sarah hesitated, then, ‘My father was not a poor man, Francesca, and what he had he secured to me in his will. It remains mine even if I marry.’

‘Why do you work as a governess if you have some money of your own?’

‘Because it suits me. I have done other things—but I wanted a change of scenery and...I came here on a whim, but when I met you and John I knew I wanted to stay.’

Sarah took a deep breath as she waited for the girl’s reaction. She had told her as much as she dare and felt better for it. Francesca did not know the whole truth, but Sarah no longer felt so guilty over deceiving her.

Francesca looked at her curiously. ‘You’re not like any governess I’ve had before.’ She tipped her head to one side. ‘Do you have a secret, Sarah?’

‘Yes, there is something—but I would rather you did not tell your uncle, because he might send me away if he knew.’

‘Are you in trouble?’

‘I am hiding from a man who is trying to trap me into marriage. I do not like him, but my family thinks it a good marriage. I came here to avoid him while I consider what I should do.’

Francesca’s gaze narrowed. ‘You’re not truly Hester Goodrum, are you?’

‘My name is Sarah Hardcastle,’ Sarah said. ‘Hester wanted to get married. I gave her a little money and exchanged places with her. Do you think me very dreadful to have deceived you?’

‘No, I think you are amazing.’ Francesca looked thoughtful. ‘Lord Myers would send you packing if he knew—and Grandfather would not be pleased, but I want you to stay. You tell us the truth instead of making up lies to protect us from what we want to know.’

‘I suppose I do have different ideas.’ Sarah looked at her awkwardly. ‘Do you feel compelled to tell your uncle? I know you ought, but if you do I must leave.’

‘It will be our secret,’ Francesca promised. ‘I shall not tell John, because he would be sure to let it out. My uncle may be angry when he discovers the truth.’

‘I have told myself that if I give you a proper education I am doing no harm.’

Francesca laughed. ‘I do not care who you are, Sarah. I do not think you mean us any harm—and I want you to stay. You are my friend.’

‘Yes, I should like to be that,’ Sarah said. She glanced at the little silver watch pinned to her gown. The time was getting on. ‘We’d better return or we shall be late for the games.’

‘Yes.’ Francesca’s eyes sparkled with mischief. ‘I shall enjoy keeping your secret, Sarah—it’s fun.’

Sarah smiled. When Francesca had guessed so much she’d felt compelled to tell her the truth and was glad she need not lie to at least one member of the household—but was she setting a bad example by encouraging her pupil to keep secrets from her uncle?

Perhaps she ought to confess the whole to Lord Myers and leave the decision to him—yet the house was so beautiful and she’d already become fond of her pupils.

Surely she could not harm people she wanted only to help?

They returned to the house, speaking only occasionally. Francesca was deep in thought and Sarah had her own thoughts to keep her busy. Being a governess had seemed such a simple matter, but it was no such thing. Sarah had no training to guide her and she had used

her own instincts, her own experience, to answer Francesca’s natural questions—but had she exceeded her authority? Had she perhaps put ideas into the girl’s head that her grandfather and other ladies might think wrong for a young lady of quality?

Sarah was independent because of her father’s will, which had given her complete control of her fortune and his business empire. Had he willed it so that her uncle had become her guardian she did not think she could have borne her life, for she would have been hedged about by convention and would not have dared to voice her opinions as freely as she did. Was she harming Francesca’s chances by teaching her to be as free in her thoughts?

* * *

The sound of laughter shattered her more serious thoughts. When they came upon Lord Myers, John and two of the footmen playing with an oval-shaped ball on the green, Sarah was intrigued, for she had not seen such a rough game before.

She watched as John caught the ball and then ran off with it, only to be pursued by his uncle, who tackled him and brought him down. John managed to pass the ball to one of the footmen, who took it and ran while the second footman tried to stop him. He was unable to and John gave a shout of joy as he threw himself down at a certain spot and touched the ground with the ball.

‘A try. We scored a try,’ he said. ‘Well done, Jenkins. Well done.’

‘Yes, good show.’ Lord Myers applauded. He turned and saw the ladies, frowning for a moment before turning to John. ‘I think we should play cricket now so that Miss Goodrum and Francesca can join us.’

John agreed and one of the footmen started preparing the wicket. Francesca joined Lord Myers’s side and Sarah joined Jenkins and John. Apparently, Jenkins was as good at the game as at the earlier one and he was elected to bowl at Lord Myers.

Sarah had no idea what game they had been playing when she arrived with Francesca, but knew the game of cricket and was happy to field. She was forced to run after balls that went into the shrubbery several times until she suddenly saw it coming straight at her, put out a hand and caught it.

‘Out. You’re out, Uncle Rupert,’ John crowed. ‘Now it’s Francesca’s turn and then Mason’s. We’ll soon have you out, won’t we, Sarah?’

‘Yes, certainly,’ Sarah agreed with a smile for his enthusiasm.

However, Francesca played well and scored five runs before Jenkins caught her. Mason took his turn and proved to be a clever batsman; it was some minutes before he became too adventurous and was run out for twenty-five.

A tray was brought out by one of the maids then and they all sat on blankets on the grass until John’s team went in to bat. Sarah had enjoyed her glass of barley water and was on her feet again when Lord Myers came over to her.

‘I should like to speak to you in the library before you go up, Miss Goodrum.’ His expression was grim and Sarah’s heart caught. He was angry, she was sure of it and could not for the life of her think what she had done.

Surely he had not discovered her true identity?