Читать книгу Love Affairs - Louise Allen, Carol Townend - Страница 40
ОглавлениеANNIE LEANT AGAINST the front door and blew her breath out slowly.
She’d been sure he was going to kiss her, and when he’d moved in like that, reached out for her, she’d known he was going to.
And then he’d lifted the jacket off her shoulders.
She’d forgotten about the jacket. Forgotten about all sorts of things, like the fact that it wasn’t a date and she wasn’t interested in him and she didn’t do this with anyone, especially not a work colleague!
She groaned softly and buried her face in her hands, just as her mother came out of the sitting room.
‘Annie?’
She lifted her head, brushing her hair back off her face, and smiled. ‘Hi. How were the girls?’
‘Fine.’ Her eyes were searching. ‘Are you OK?’
‘Yes, of course. I’m just a bit tired all of a sudden.’
‘It’s not sudden, you’re always tired. You have a hectic job. So, how was it? The play?’
‘Hilarious. Very, very funny. It’s a nice theatre, it’s all been done up. You ought to go.’
‘I might. I haven’t been in there for years. So, did you have ice cream? Someone at book group said it was very good.’
‘It was. Really creamy. I had strawberry. It was lovely.’
And Ed had had chocolate, and she’d asked him what it was like and without a word he’d scooped up a dollop and put it in her mouth.
With his spoon.
She’d felt herself melting faster than the ice cream.
‘Sorry—what?’
‘I said, was it local ice cream?’
Local—? ‘Um—I’m not sure. It could have been. Why?’
‘Oh, the person at book group said something about that. You can buy it in farm shops round here, apparently, if it’s the one she thought. So, did your friend walk you home? I didn’t hear a car stop.’
OK. It hadn’t taken long, and she’d known it was coming, could almost see the antenna twirling slowly in the background. She nearly laughed at her mother’s predictability.
‘No, we walked. He was going this way. He lives near here.’
Which might not be a lie, but since he hadn’t actually told her where he lived, it was hard to know. But she wasn’t telling her mother about borrowing his jacket, or the almost-kiss that wasn’t. Using the word he was more than enough information.
‘Cup of tea?’ she asked, heading for the kitchen, and her mother followed her.
‘That would be nice. So, was this anyone I know of?’
‘The new guy,’ she said, busying herself with the mugs and teapot so she didn’t have to look her mother in the eye. ‘Ed. We were working on the patient together, and they gave us the tickets. It would have been hard to refuse—and, anyway, I never go out. I thought it might be fun. And it was.’
‘Well, it was nice of you to go with him. I expect he’s a bit lonely if he’s new to the area.’
‘Oh, he’s not, he knows it well. His family all live in the area and I think he was brought up here. That’s why he’s here—his grandfather’s not well. He helps his grandmother with him.’
‘Oh, that’s kind of him. He was lucky there was a job available.’
‘I think we were luckier to get him. He’s a great doctor, but he has plans for his future, and they don’t involve sleepy old Yoxburgh, so it’s definitely temporary,’ she said firmly, cutting her mother off at the pass. ‘Here, your tea. I think I might take mine to bed and read for a while. My legs are aching, it’s been a busy day. Thanks for babysitting for me. You’re a star.’
She kissed her mother goodnight and escaped, closing the door of her tiny bedroom with a sigh of relief, but if she imagined she’d shut Ed out, she was wrong.
He followed her in, his laugh, his warm, spontaneous personality, his wicked sense of fun all tormenting her. Wasn’t that the first thing always in the personal column adverts? GSOH? Well, he certainly had a good sense of humour, topped off with a lethal dose of masculine charm and looks to die for.
It was a good job he hadn’t kissed her. Really. If he’d kissed her, it would have been a disaster. Made it impossible to work together. It was hard enough as it was, and she didn’t need to fall into the trap of succumbing to a colleague. Or anyone.
She was rubbish at relationships, rubbish at men in general and good-looking men with smiling bedroom eyes in particular. She needed to remember that.
She plonked down on the edge of the single bed and sighed. She was going to have to get a serious grip on herself before tomorrow.
* * *
‘So how did it go last night?’
He groaned inwardly. He’d spent the entire night thinking about Annie, and discussing it with Kate was the last thing he needed.
‘Fine. Very funny. It was worth going.’
‘I meant with Annie. Little Dr Prim, with her sweet little girls and her “don’t touch me” attitude.’
He ground his teeth. ‘Not that it’s any of your business, but we had a good time, thank you.’
‘Oh, come on, tell all.’
That was another of the nurses chipping in, grinning and propping her elbows on the high desk, her chin in her hands, her eyes alight with mischief.
‘Oh, for heaven’s sake, we went to the theatre!’ he said, totally exasperated. ‘How is this such a big deal?’
‘But you went with Annie, and Annie doesn’t go anywhere with anyone.’
So now the receptionist was getting in on the act. Where the hell were the patients when you needed them?
He sighed and rammed a hand through his hair.
‘Look,’ he said, hanging on to his temper with difficulty, ‘we were given two tickets by a patient and her husband, tickets they couldn’t use, for a light-hearted slapstick comedy. Annie and I were both there, they offered the tickets to us, we accepted. It would have been churlish not to. And as we were both free, we went. End of.’
‘And?’
‘And what?’ he growled.
‘Did you kiss her goodnight?’
No, he hadn’t, and he’d spent the entire night regretting it. And because he was tired, and tetchy, and because his conscience was still giving him hell for bailing on his grandmother, he lost it.
‘No, I did not kiss her goodnight!’ he snapped. ‘I walked her home, I went to my grandparents’ house to make sure that my elderly grandmother had managed to get my incredibly frail and terminally ill grandfather into bed on her own, because I’d had the temerity to take a night off and go out and have fun, and then I walked home to my own house and went to bed. Alone. Is that what you wanted to know?’
He glared at them all, one after the other, and they had the grace to look embarrassed. And then he turned on his heel and almost fell over Annie.
And James Slater, the clinical lead.
Great. Marvellous. He shut his eyes.
‘Problem?’ James asked mildly, and Ed swore softly but pithily under his breath and stalked off. That was the last time he took anyone from work out for any reason at all—
‘Ed?’
He stopped walking, and Annie came round in front of him, her eyes troubled.
‘They were only teasing. Don’t you think you were a little harsh?’
‘They were being downright nosy—and they were really bitchy about you. Kate called you Little Dr Prim.’
She flapped her hand dismissively. ‘They call me Dr Prim all the time. I don’t care.’
‘Well, I do, and I care that they think that what either of us chooses to do is in any way their business.’
‘You were still nasty to them.’
‘Nasty? Nasty? I didn’t even scratch the surface of nasty. I just told them to back off. Hopefully they’ll listen.’
‘Kate’s crying.’
‘Kate? Why on earth would she be crying?’
‘Because you were really mean? She’s not so bad, Ed. She’s pretty harmless.’
He rammed a hand through his hair. ‘You reckon?’
‘I know. They were only teasing you. You should apologise. Bearing in mind you have to work with her.’
He sighed and rammed the hand through his hair again. Actually, he felt like tearing it out, but that wouldn’t help anyone. Neither would putting his fist through the wall. His sexual frustration was certainly not their business!
‘Where is she?’ he asked wearily.
‘In the sluice.’
He went and found her, standing staring at the wall and sniffing, a wad of tissues in her hand.
‘Kate, I’m sorry.’
She glanced at him, then looked away, her eyes welling. ‘No, I’m sorry. I never know when to stop. It was only meant to be a joke. I didn’t know about your grandfather. I’m so sorry. It must be awful for you all.’
‘It is, but that’s not your fault, and it’s not your fault you didn’t know. I don’t talk about him.’ He sighed and took a step forward, relenting in the face of her abject apology. ‘Come here.’
He pulled her into his arms, hugged her gently and then tipped her head back with a finger. ‘Forgive me?’
She nodded, and he gave her a peck on the cheek and let her go.
‘I think I can hear the red phone,’ he said. ‘Don’t be long.’
The trauma call came through the speakers at that moment, and he changed direction, heading for Resus.
James was waiting, and he raised an eyebrow. ‘Made friends again?’
‘Sorry. Yes, we have.’
‘Good, because I don’t like playground fights in this environment and we all need to be able to work together.’
‘We can. It’s fine. It won’t happen again.’
‘Good. Right, let’s get to work.’
* * *
She found him at lunchtime sitting outside in the sun, staring out across the park and idly shredding a leaf into his lap. He was on their bench—their bench?—and she walked hesitantly over to him.
‘Mind if I join you?’
He glanced up and shrugged. ‘Do I have a choice?’
She froze, wondering where the man she’d laughed with last night had gone, and then she saw the haunted look in his eyes and sat down, ignoring his remark.
‘What’s up?’
‘My grandfather’s not good. Marnie was pretty stressed last night. He was a bit feisty.’
‘Does he get physical?’
‘Only as far as he can, which isn’t far. His movement’s not great, but it doesn’t stop him saying nasty things to her when he gets frustrated.’ He sighed and dropped his head back, closing his eyes and shutting everything out.
Or at least that was what it looked like.
‘Can she really cope alone?’
‘She’s not alone. She’s got me, and she’s got my parents, but they haven’t retired yet and my father doesn’t get home until seven from his office, and my mother’s hardly ever home any earlier, and they’re both too tired to be of much use. And anyway, Dad finds watching him deteriorate incredibly stressful and that makes him a bit curt so he always manages to rub my grandfather up the wrong way and then they fall out.’
‘And you get on with him?’
He smiled ruefully, but his eyes softened. ‘Well, we used to. He was my best friend when I was a kid. My brother and I spent a lot of time there in the school holidays because our parents were both working, and he had endless patience with us. He was a teacher, and he took it seriously and made everything an adventure. We did so many things together, and nothing was too much trouble. He was far more of a father to me than my own father was.’
‘So you’re balancing the books?’
He nodded slowly. ‘Kind of.’
‘And where’s your brother in all this?’
‘London. They live in Dulwich and they have busy lives.’
Which was code for too busy to look after an ailing old man and the wife who was loyally supporting him. Like their parents, who also found it too stressful. And Ed didn’t? She wanted to smack them all for leaving him and Marnie to cope alone.
‘Have you eaten?’
‘No. I’m not hungry.’
‘I thought you might say that. I brought you a sandwich.’
She tore it open and pulled out one of the halves and put it in his hand. ‘It’s a BLT.’
‘Thanks.’ He bit into it absently, and while he had his mouth busy, she sucked in a breath and said what was on her mind.
‘About last night.’
He coughed, choking on the sandwich, and she handed him her coffee.
‘What about last night?’ he asked when he could speak.
‘I just wanted to say thanks again for taking me, and don’t worry, I didn’t get any ideas because of it.’
He met her eyes, the sandwich forgotten, and his mouth tipped into a wry, self-deprecating smile. ‘That’s a shame, because I had ideas all night. Not that I intend to act on them. The last thing I’ve got time for in my life at the moment is a relationship, and I know you’re not that kind of girl.’
‘What kind of girl?’
His smile faded. ‘The kind who doesn’t expect anything except a good time. One who knows the rules.’
‘Oh, I know the rules,’ she said bitterly. ‘Don’t let anyone close. Don’t believe a word they tell you. Especially don’t believe it when they ask you to marry them, because the chances are they aren’t free and they’re just doing it because they know if they don’t, you’ll walk because it’s going nowhere, but it’s going nowhere anyway because he’s a lying bastard and he has a wife and kids and a whole other life back home in the States—’
She clamped her lips shut, and after a stunned silence she heard him let out his breath slowly.
‘Ouch.’
‘Yes. Ouch. Sorry, I didn’t mean to say all that.’
‘Don’t worry about it. Is that why he’s out of your life?’
She laughed shortly. ‘That and the fact that he’s gone home to wifey to try and sort out the train wreck that’s his marriage.’
‘Does he even know about the girls?’
She shook her head, and Ed felt a wave of shock.
‘Wow.’
‘It’s fine. My mother brought me up on her own after my father died, and if she can do it, so can I.’
‘So do they have a father figure?’
‘No—not nearby. My grandfather died three years ago, just weeks before they were born, and I’m an only child. There’s just me, my mother and my grandmother. And Chloe and Grace.’
‘Four generations of women. Wow.’
‘We manage. I make sure I don’t tell them that men are poisonous.’
‘We aren’t all poisonous,’ he corrected softly, and she turned her head and met his eyes and smiled.
‘I know. My father wasn’t, and my grandfather wasn’t, and I’ve got uncles and cousins so it’s not quite as bad as all that.’ She tipped her head on one side, studying him thoughtfully. ‘I’m sure Kate would know the rules.’
He frowned. ‘Why do you keep throwing Kate at me?’
She shrugged. ‘Because I think you’re lonely? Because I think you need someone to share the burden with, someone to take your mind off what’s happening? Someone to have fun with?’
‘So why Kate? If you know the rules, why not you?’
She stared at him for a second, shocked, and then gave a strangled laugh and looked away hastily. ‘Me?’ she squeaked, and her heart thudded.
‘Why not?’ he asked, slightly shocked himself that he’d suggested it, but the idea was growing on him by the second. ‘We get on, neither of us wants a permanent relationship, we both have our reasons for that even though they’re very different, but it means there won’t be any misunderstandings, any broken hearts and tears and threats and disappointment. Just—fun.’
Fun? She stared down at her hands. They were knotted together, the knuckles white, and she was sure he could feel the tension radiating off her. It was so long since she’d had fun she’d forgotten all about it. ‘So, let me get this right, you’re suggesting—what? A no-strings affair? Casual sex?’
‘No.’
His voice was curiously intense, and she looked up and met his eyes. ‘Nothing casual about it, but you don’t want relationship hassles, I don’t want anyone expecting wedding bells, so why not? Not casual, but carefully tailored to fulfil our needs without crossing those boundaries. And more than sex. Much more. I’d like to think we could be friends as well.’
Her heart thudded again. ‘Friends with benefits?’
His mouth quirked into a wry smile. ‘If you like.’
Did she? It was a crazy idea, but she was so tempted. Ludicrously tempted. A shiver of something dangerously exciting ran through her, and she looked away in case her eyes were too revealing.
‘Can I think about it?’ she asked, after an age, and she heard his breath ease out on a sigh.
‘Of course you can. Take as long as you like. There’s no pressure, Annie. And I’ll fully understand if it’s no.’
She nodded, and got to her feet.
‘I’ll let you know.’
* * *
Good grief. She couldn’t believe she was even thinking about it, giving it serious consideration, but she was, all through her shift, and on the following day while he wasn’t at work, and then she was off herself and he was back on again, so it was Monday before she saw him. And she’d had plenty of time to think.
Too much.
Time to think herself into all sorts of hot water. But not, apparently, enough time to think herself back out of it again, because she walked into the department on Monday morning, took one look at him and knew what her answer was going to be.
He met her eyes over the central workstation and after a second his mouth flickered into a smile. ‘Hi.’
‘Hi. How was your weekend?’
‘Chaos, thank you. How was yours?’
‘Lovely. We played on the beach, and did a bit of gardening, and went to the playground. And we had a picnic and I caught the sun.’
‘I can see.’ She had a touch of pink across her nose and cheekbones, and a smattering of tiny freckles was starting to appear. God, he wanted to kiss her. He must have been nuts to walk away.
‘So, what have we got?’
‘A dislocated patella, a fractured femur, an acute abdomen, query minor head injury—’
‘Give me the abdomen. You can have the femur.’
‘I was about to tackle the patella. The orthos are coming down to the femur.’
‘When did you last check him?’
‘Her—and ten minutes ago, but could you do it, before you do the abdo? I want to get the patella back in now and put him out of his misery.’
‘So why not get the orthos to do it while they’re here?’
‘Because he’s already had the ketamine, and anyway I like patellas.’
And with a cheeky wink he picked up the notes and walked off, whistling softly, and left her looking after him and trying not to give herself away too hopelessly.
‘He is so-o-o cute.’
‘Kate, get over it,’ she said firmly, trying not to think how cute he was and what she was going to do with him. ‘Want to help me with the abdo?’
‘Sure.’ Kate pushed herself away from the desk and followed her, and nothing more was said about him, to Annie’s relief.
Not that it stopped her thinking...
* * *
‘Can I ask you something?’
‘Sure. Does this need a coffee?’
‘Maybe.’ She chewed her lip. She still hadn’t quite committed herself to this crazy idea, but she was tempted. Oh, so tempted. ‘Have you got time?’
‘I have at the moment. The patella’s being put in a cast, the femur’s gone off to Theatre, and the head injury is under observation. How’s your abdomen?’
She sucked it in automatically at the mention of the word. ‘My abdomen?’ she said, arching a brow at him.
He glanced down and grinned. ‘Well—not yours. Yours is obviously fine.’
‘Only fine?’ she asked provocatively, and then could have kicked herself for flirting with him. ‘Whatever. My abdo,’ she said hastily, grabbing the conversation and steering it rapidly on to the right track again, ‘is under obs. I’m not sure what it is. Not appendix, I don’t think, but I’m not sure. There’s a fairly convoluted history. I’m waiting for the GP to call me back on my mobile.’
He nodded. ‘Abdomens are funny things. There’s a whole world of stuff in there. Kids with acute abdomens are a nightmare. Two cappuccinos, please. Take out.’
He handed over the money, gave her her coffee and steered her out of the door. ‘I take it this is a private conversation?’
She felt herself colour. ‘I just wanted to clarify things.’
‘OK.’ He sat down, patted the bench beside him and shifted so he was looking at her. ‘Clarify what?’
She looked away. Those dark, grey-blue eyes with the navy rims were disconcerting, and this was hard enough.
‘This...relationship,’ she said, for want of a better word. ‘Are we talking exclusivity?’
He let out a short huff that could have been laughter. He sounded slightly stunned.
‘Of course! What did you think—I was going to run a string of women? I hardly have time to sleep as it is. No.’ He reached out a hand, turned her face gently towards him and shook his head slowly. ‘No way is there anyone else even on my radar at the moment. My life is already hellish complicated, Annie. I need time out—from work, from my grandfather, from...’
From the ramifications of his potential inheritance. ‘From all sorts of things,’ he finished.
She watched him, saw the sadness flicker in his eyes again, the desperation. ‘So, let me get this right. You’re looking for—respite care?’
He laughed softly, his eyes crinkling. ‘Pretty much. I’d rather call it me time.’
‘Me time? I could use some of that.’
‘Was that a yes?’
‘I don’t know,’ she said honestly, but her heart was pounding. ‘I don’t know how we’d arrange it.’
‘You could come to me. My house is just round the corner from yours, a three-minute walk. You can come in the back way, it’s more anonymous. And it’s utterly private. I don’t know my neighbours, and I don’t have time to get to know them. Nobody will know who you are.’
‘But when?’
‘Whenever we’re both free. Whenever your mother is able to let you go.’
She chewed her lip. Oh, Lord. Her mother. ‘I’ll have to tell her,’ she said, and closed her eyes.
‘Is that a problem?’
‘Only that she’ll know what we’re doing.’
‘You could tell her you’re playing bridge.’
‘Late at night? More likely poker.’
He laughed again, and she felt the huff of his warm breath against her skin. ‘Annie, don’t sweat it. Tell her you’re going to the cinema, going for a walk—anything.’
‘Lie?’
‘No! Just—keep it private. Between us.’
‘Private sounds good,’ she said quietly. ‘I don’t want anyone knowing. They just ask questions, and I don’t need that.’
‘Nor do I. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. Especially not anyone here. The rumour mill is rife as it is just because we went to the theatre. Oh, which reminds me, I sent some flowers to Elizabeth as a thank-you for the tickets, and Jerry popped in this morning to thank me. She’s doing well.’
‘Good. And talking of telling each other things, I think you should know Kate thinks you’re cute, by the way.’
‘Cute? Cute?’
He sounded disgusted, and she laughed at him. ‘What’s wrong with cute?’
‘Little girls are cute,’ he said, his disgust evident, and she suppressed her laughter, but then his expression changed, his eyes searching hers. ‘So—is that a yes?’
Trapped by those amazing, expressive eyes, she stared up at him and her heart thumped against her ribs.
‘Yes,’ she said slowly. ‘That’s a yes.’
