Читать книгу The Complete Fab Confessions of Georgia Nicolson: Books 1-10 - Louise Rennison - Страница 268

Us girls went to the loos and did some emergency make-up repair work. It was quite dark and sort of red lightish in the loos. I was just thinking we looked like groovy chicks around town when the Bummer Twins walked in. I say walked but they waddled. Jackie was wearing a dress that was SO tight. Not a wise choice for a girl who is not small in the bottom department. She is so common. They were both smoking fags (quelle surprise). Jackie said, “Oh look, they must be having a sort of creche here while the grown-ups are clubbing.”

She went off into the loo. I could hear her weeing. It sounded like a carthorse. Alison was looking down her nose at us. I’m surprised she could see anything past the huge spot that was on it. She looked like she’d got two noses.

The club was amazing. It had loads of flights of stairs all leading down to a big dance floor, and a stage at one end. You had to go down the stairs from the loos to get to the dance floor. I hoped that no one could see up my skirt because I couldn’t remember what knickers I had on. Jas would be all right with her biggest knickers known to humanity.

There were flashing lights and mirror balls and laser beams. The music was really loud and rocking. Rosie and Sven did their phone box dance. Sven was yelling “Whoop!” and “Hit it, lads!” They had loads of space to dance in because nobody wants to be flattened by a huge bloke in silver trousers.

Jas shouted in my earlug. “There’s a gang of Tom’s mates by the bar– can you see them? Over there. Dave the Laugh is probably one of them.”

Jools said, “Yeah, but which one? There’s ten of them to choose from.”

I said, “Is anyone laughing?”

Jools looked at me. “Why?”

“Well, if he’s called Dave the Laugh everyone will be laughing around him.”

We looked across at the lads who were mostly looking around the room. Then I had another thought. “But what if he is called Dave the Laugh because HE laughs all the time?”

We looked again; now they were all laughing.

Jas for once in her life went all decisive and sensible (it was a bit scary, actually). She said, “I recognise one of them, he’s called Rollo, he’s been round to Tom’s house. I could ask him who Dave the Laugh is.”

I said, “Yeah, OK, but be really cool, Jas. Just find out which one is Dave the Laugh so we can look at him. But don’t mention anything about anything.”

Jas said, “I am not a fool, you know.”

I didn’t know that, actually.

Jas went over to the lads and I could see her going chat, chat, nod, nod, nod, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, flickey fringe, flickey fringe…(Why does she do that? It is so annoying.)

I was acting really cool, doing a half-smile and sort of nodding along to the music. Sipping my drink, waving at people, even ones I didn’t know. Then Jas came back. She was all breathless. She POINTED really obviously at a dark-haired boy in black combats. “That’s him!”

Naturally he saw her pointing at him and he shrugged his shoulders like he was asking a question. Jas then turned to me and POINTED again…AT ME, and nodded like one of those nodding dogs.

I couldn’t believe it. It was unbelievable, that’s why. My face was like a frozen fish finger. All rigid and pale. (But obviously not with breadcrumbs on it.)

I said out of the corner of my mouth, “Jas, I’m going to kill you. What in the name of your huge knickers have you said?”

Jas said huffily, “I just said, ‘Who is Dave the Laugh?’ and Rollo said. This is Dave the Laugh,’ and Dave the Laugh said, ‘Why?’ and I just said, ‘Because my mate Georgia really rates you’.”

I was going to kill her and then eat her.

Out of the corner of my mouth– because Dave the Laugh was still looking– I said, “Jas! You told him I FANCIED him? I cannot believe it.”

Jas said, “Well I think he’s quite cute. If I didn’t have Hunky I would…”

Just then SG walked by carrying his guitar. On his way to the stage to do the first set. He smiled as he passed. Even though in my heart I wanted to leap into his arms like a seal I ignored him. I looked through him as if he was just a floating guitar in midair.