Читать книгу ‘… and that’s when it fell off in my hand.’ - Louise Rennison - Страница 71

Jas was stamping around outside her house going, “Oh brrrrr, it is so nippy noodles, brr!”

She had a sort of furry bonnet over her beret. I said, “You look like a crap teddy bear.”

She just went on shivering and said, “Do you think we will get let off hockey because of Antarctic conditions?”

“Jas, you live, as I have always said, in the land of the terminally deluded and criminally insane. Nothing gets us off hockey. We are at the mercy of a Storm Trooper and part-time lesbian. Miss Stamp LOVES Antarctic conditions. You can see her moustache bristling with delight when it snows.”

If Jas has to wear a furry bonnet in cold weather, I don’t think much of her chances of survival on her survival-type course.

Still, that is life.

Or in her case, death.

She was still going “Brrr brr,” but I didn’t let it spoil my peachy mood.

“Jas, guess what? Something très très magnifique has happened at last.”

“Brrr.”

“Shut up brrring, Jas.”

I got out my aerogram.

“Look, it’s from SG.”

“What does it say?”

“I don’t know.”

“Why not?”

“Because I haven’t opened it yet, I am savouring it.”

“It’s not a pie.”

“I know that, Jas. Please don’t annoy me. I don’t want to have to beat you within an inch of your life so early in the day.”

I tucked the aerogram down the front of my shirt for safe keepies as we trudged up the hill to Stalag 14. But I had a song in my heart.

“Jas, I have a song in my heart, and do you know what it is?”

But she just ran off into the cloakroom to sit on the knicker toaster for a few minutes to thaw out.

Still, I did have a song in my heart called “I Have a Letter from a Sex God in my Over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder”.