Читать книгу ‘…startled by his furry shorts!’ - Louise Rennison - Страница 70

Jas was on her wall with Tom when I puffed up the hill. They were looking at something in a brown paper parcel. Jas was talking in a really silly girly voice that she uses when Hunky is around. I swear to God she will be developing a lisp soon. Pathetic. She went, “Ooooooohhh, Hunky, that is soooooo interesting. Look at this, Georgia.” And she held out the brown paper bag.

There was a newt in the bag. How beyond the Valley of the Really Quite Mad and entering the World of the Certifiably Bonkers is that?

Jas said, “It’s got very unusual markings. I’m taking it into Biology to show Miss Baldwin.”

I said, “Yeah, good idea. Crawler.”

But she didn’t even notice that I’d called her a teacher’s botty-kisser because she was so busy being an idiot around her boyfriend.

Tom left us at the corner to go off to college. As he kissed her on her cheek, Jas was fiddling with her fringe so much that I thought she’d had sudden onset of rampant disco inferno dancing. At last they parted. But only after she had blown kisses at him and then he had to pretend to catch them and blow them back for about two trillion years.

She was completely lost in Jasland. “Oh, it is so so so so nice to have him back.”

I said, “Is it nice to have him back then?”

But she didn’t get it. She just started again. “Oh yes, it is so so so so nice to have him back. I could never not have a boyfriend; it would be so sad. Imagine not having a boyfriend. Oh, actually, I suppose you can imagine not having a boyfriend.”

What a cow she can be. I didn’t hit her because I think violence is wrong, and also she was walking too quickly for me to kick. I just said, “You are a very caring person, Jas. It’s almost uncanny how empathetic you are.”

“I know – do you know what? Sometimes it’s like I can actually read Tom’s thoughts.”

“Really, you mean when he’s looking at you and not saying anything, and yet you know what he is thinking?”

“Yeah, like that.”

“Yes, I could read his thoughts today too when he was looking at you.”

“Really?”

“Yes, it was quite clear he was thinking, Hey, I’ve accidentally got a prat for a girlfriend.”