Читать книгу ‘Dancing in my nuddy-pants!’ - Louise Rennison - Страница 32

If I have to sing “Winnie Bag Pool” to Mr Potato one more time I may have to kill myself.

I went to my so-called parents’ bedroom door and talked to them from outside in the hall. I’ve seen Dad in his pyjamas before and it’s not a sight for someone as artistic and sensitive as moi.

“Hello…it’s me. Georgia. Remember Me? Your daughter. And your other daughter, Libby, do you remember her? Two foot six, blonde, senselessly violent?? Ring any bells?”

Vati yelled, “Georgia, what is it now? Why aren’t you in bed? You’ve got school tomorrow.”

“Hello, Father, how marvellous to speak with you once again…”

“Georgia, if I have to get out of bed and listen to more rubbish from you…well, you’re not too old to smack, you know!”

Smack? Has he finally snapped? He’s never smacked anyone in his life. The last time he lost his rag with me, he threw his slipper and it missed me and broke his hilarious (not) mug in the shape of a bottom.

Mutti opened the bedroom door unexpectedly as I was leaning against it and I nearly fell into her basoomas.

She finally persuaded Libby to go into her and Dad’s bed. So thankfully Libbs clanked off with Mr Potato, Pantalitzer, Charlie Horse, scuba-diving Barbie and the rest of her “fwends”.

I was just snuggling down to go off into boboland when I heard her pitter-pattering back into my room. Oh dear God, she hadn’t left something disgusting lurking in the bottom of my bed, had she?

She came right up to me and whispered in my ear, “I lobe you, Ginger. You are my very own big sister.”

Awww. I put my hand on her little head. Sometimes I love her so much I feel like I would plunge into a vat of eels to save her. If she fell in one, which in her case is not as unlikely as you might think.

As a lovely goodnight treat, she sucked my ear, which was not pleasant, especially as she was breathing very heavily. It was like a big slug snoring in your ear. Still, very sweet.

Ish.