Читать книгу ‘Dancing in my nuddy-pants!’ - Louise Rennison - Страница 40

Everyone late for everything. When Mutti took Libby to kindy, both had hair sticking on end like they had been electrocuted. They should try the cat hat method – it keeps your hair very flat

Run, run, pant, pant.

Jas and I panted up the hill to Stalag 14, past the usual assortment of Foxwood lads. They are so weird. Two passed us and started doing impressions of gorillas. Why? Then another group went by, and the biggest one, no stranger to all-over-head acne, said, “Have you got a light?”

Jas said, “No, I don’t smoke,” and he said, “No chance of a shag, then, I suppose?” And he and his mates went off slapping and shoving each other.

I said to Jas, “They show a distinct lack of maturiosity, but never fear, that is where I come in. I have thought of something très très amusant to do with glove animal if it snows this winter.”

Jas didn’t say anything.

“Jas.”

“What?”

“I said something très amusant and you ignorez-voused me. You do remember good old glove animal, don’t you?”

“I know I got three bad conduct marks because you made me wear my gloves pinned over my ears like a big doggy with a beret on top.”

“Voilà, glove animal. Anyway, I think he should make a comeback this term and liven up the stiffs.”

She was pretending not to listen to me but I knew she wanted to really. She was doing fringe fiddling; however, I resisted the temptation to slap her hand, and said, slowly so that she could understand me, “Glove animals have to wear sunglasses when it snows.”

“What?”

“Is that all you can say?”

“What?”

“You are doing it to annoy me, mon petit pal, but I love you.”

“Don’t start.”

“Anyway, we will have to wear sunglasses with glove animal if it snows, to prevent…snow blindness!!”

She didn’t get it, though. I have to keep the comedy levels up at school all by myself.