| II. 2.Table of Contents | Scene 2Table of Contents |
| | enter Alcmena into doorway. |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Satin parva res est voluptatum in vita atque in aetate agunda praequam quod molestum est? ita cuique comparatum est in aetate hominum; ita divis est placitum, voluptatem ut maeror comes consequatur: quin incommodi plus malique ilico adsit, boni si optigit quid. | Oh, are not the pleasures in life, in this daily round, trifling compared with the pains! It is our common human lot, it is heaven's will, for sorrow to come following after joy: yes, yes, and to have a larger share of trouble and distress the moment something nice has happened. |
| nam ego id nunc experior domo atque ipsa de me scio, cui voluptas parumper datast, dum viri mei mihi potestas videndi fuit noctem unam modo; atque is repente abiit a me hinc ante lucem. sola hic mihi nunc videor, quia ille hinc abest quem ego amo praeter omnes. plus aegri ex abitu viri, quam ex adventu voluptatis cepi. | Ah, I am learning this now at first hand, learning it of my own experience—a few short hours of happiness, allowed to see my husband for just one night; and then away he goes all of a sudden before daylight! It does seem so lonely here now, when the one I love best is gone. I have felt more unhappy at his going than happy at his coming. |
| sed hoc me beat saltem, quom perduellis vicit et domum laudis compos revenit: id solacio est.absit, dum modo laude partadomum recipiat se; feram et perferam usque abitum eius animo forti atque offirmato, id modo si mercedis datur mi, ut meus victor vir belli clueat.satis mi esse ducam.virtus praemium est optimum;virtus omnibus rebus anteit profecto: libertas salus vita res et parentes, patria et prognati tutantur, servantur:virtus omnia in sese habet, omnia adsuntbona quem penest virtus | But there is thus much to be thankful for, at least: he has been victorious and come home a hero—that is one comfort. He may leave me, if only he returns to me with a glorious name: I will bear his going, yes, and keep on bearing it to the end firmly and unflinchingly, only let me have the reward of hearing my husband hailed conqueror. That is enough for me! Courage is the very best gift of all; courage stands before everything, it does, it does! It is what maintains and preserves our liberty, safety, life, and our homes and parents, our country and children. Courage comprises all things: a man with courage has every blessing. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Edepol me uxori exoptatum credo adventurum domum, quae me amat, quam contra amo, praesertim re gesta bene, victis hostibus. quos nemo posse superari ratust, eos auspicio meo atque ductu primo coetu vicimus certe enim med illi expectatum optato venturum scio. | By Jove, my wife will certainly be delighted to have me home—loving each other as we do! Especially now that we have been successful, and the enemy, that every one thought invincible, beaten, beaten at the first set-to under my auspices and leadership. Ah yes, my arrival will surely be a very welcome event to her. |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Quid? me non rere expectatum amicae venturum meae? | What? And don't you think mine is going to be welcome to my lady friend? |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Meus vir hic quidem est. | (seeing them) Why, here is my husband! |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Sequere hac tu me. | (to Sosia) Here you, this way! (goes on toward house) |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Nam quid ille revortitur, qui dudum properare se aibat? an ille me temptat sciens atque id se volt experiri, suom abitum ut desiderem? ecastor med haud invita se domum recipit suam. | (aside) What in the world is he back for so soon after saying he must hurry off! Is he trying me on purpose, does he want to test how much I miss him when he goes? Bless his heart, I have no objection to his coming home again! |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Amphitruo, redire ad navem meliust nos. | (seeing her) We had better make for the ship once more, sir. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Qua gratia? | Why? |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Quia domi daturus nemo est prandium advenientibus | No one at home is going to give the new arrivals a breakfast, that is why. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Qui tibi nunc istuc in mentemst? | And how does that thought happen to occur to you? |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Quia enim sero advenimus. | Because we've come too late. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Qui? | How so? |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Quia Alcumenam ante aedis stare saturam intellego. | (pointing) Well, there's mistress in front of the house, and she has a sort of well-fed look about her. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Gravidam ego illanc hic reliqui, quom abeo. | I had hopes when I went away, Sosia, of being made a father. |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Ei perii miser. | Heaven help me! |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Quid tibi est? | What is the matter? |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Ad aquam praebendam commodum adveni domum, decumo post mense, ut rationem te putare intellego | (disgustedly) I have got home exactly in time to draw the water: it is the tenth month since, according as I follow your reckoning. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Bono animo es. | (laughing) Cheer up, cheer up! |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Scin quam bono animo sim? si situlam cepero, numquam edepol tu mihi divini creduis post hunc diem, ni ego illi puteo, si occepso, animam omnem inter traxero. | Know how cheerful I am, do you, sir? Let me get hold of a bucket, and by gad, don't ever trust my sacred oath again, if I do not drain that well of its last breath, once I begin. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Sequere hac me modo, alium ego isti rei allegabo, ne time. | Come now, this way with me. (moves toward house again) I will appoint some one else to that office, never fear. |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Magis nunc me meum officium facere, si huic eam advorsum, arbitror. | (aside) I suppose it would be more duteous of me to go to meet him. (advances slowly) |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Amphitruo uxorem salutat laetus speratam suam, quam omnium Thebis vir unam esse optimam diiudicat, quamque adeo cives Thebani vero rumiferant probam. valuistin usque? exspectatum advenio? | (with playful courtliness) Gladly does Amphitryon greet his darling wife, whom her husband judges to be the one best lady in all Thebes; yea, and justly do the citizens of Thebes bruit her virtue. (earnestly) Have you been well all this time? Are you glad to see me? |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Haud vidi magis. exspectatum eum salutat magis haud quicquam quam canem. | (aside) Glad? None more so! Welcomes him about as warmly as she would a dog! |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Et quom te19 gravidam et quom te pulchre plenam aspicio, gaudeo. | Ah, it is splendid to see your condition, dear, and to see you getting on so finely. | |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Obsecro ecastor, quid tu me deridiculi gratia sic salutas atque appellas, quasi dudum non videris quasique nunc primum recipias te domum huc ex hostibus?20 | Good gracious! Why are you making fun of me with all these greetings and salutations, as if you had not seen me a little while ago and were just this moment back from the war? |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Immo equidem te nisi nunc hodie nusquam vidi gentium. | (surprised) Why, why, but I have not seen you—no, nowhere at all except this very instant. |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Cur negas? | What makes you deny it? |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Quia vera didici dicere. | Because I have learned to tell the truth. |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Haud aequom facit qui quod didicit id dediscit. an periclitamini quid animi habeam? sed quid huc vos revortimini tam cito? an te auspicium commoratum est an tempestas continet qui non abiisti ad legiones, ita uti dudum dixeras? | It is not a good plan to learn a thing and then unlearn it. Or is this a test of my feelings? But why are you returning so quickly? Were you delayed by bad omens, or is it the weather detains you, that you have not gone away to the army, as you spoke of doing a little while ago? |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Dudum? quam dudum istuc factum est? | A little while ago? How little a while ago was that? |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Temptas. iam dudum, modo. | Tease! Oh, quite a little while ago—just now. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Qui istuc potis est fieri, quaeso, ut dicis: iam dudum, modo? | For heaven's sake, how can those statements agree—"quite a little while ago" and "just now"? |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Quid enim censes? te ut deludam contra lusorem meum, qui nunc primum te advenisse dicas, modo qui hinc abieris. | Well, how do you suppose? I am merely trying to make game of you for a change, after your making game of me by saying this is your first appearance here, when you just now left us. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Haec quidem deliramenta loquitur. | (to Sosia) Upon my soul, she is raving! |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Paulisper mane, dum edormiscat unum somnum. | Wait a while till she has slept out just one sleep. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Quaene vigilans somniat? | What, awake and dreaming? |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Equidem ecastor vigilo, et vigilans id quod factum est fabulor. nam dudum ante lucem et istunc et te vidi. | (indignantly) To be sure I am awake, and awake as I relate what happened. Why, just a little while ago before dawn I saw that man and you, both. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Quo in loco? | Where was this? |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Hic in aedibus ubi tu habitas. | Here in your very own house, sir. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Numquam factum est. | Impossible! |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Non taces? quid si e portu navis huc nos dormientis detulit? | Hush, sir, hush! What if the ship carried us here from the harbour in our sleep? |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Etiam tu quoque adsentaris huic? | Ha! you are siding with her too, are you? |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Quid vis fieri? non tu scis? Bacchae bacchanti si velis advorsarier, ex insana insaniorem facies, feriet saepius; si obsequare, una resolvas plaga. | (wisely) Well, what do you want? Don't you understand? You but cross a Bacchante when the Bacchic frenzy fills her, and you'll make the crazy thing crazier still and she'll hit you all the more: humour her, and she'll call it quits after one blow. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| At pol qui certa res hanc est obiurgare, quae me hodie advenientem domum noluerit salutare. | Humour her? By the Lord, it will be bad humour, that's sure,—arriving home to-day and she unwilling to give me a decent welcome! |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Inritabis crabrones. | You'll be poking up a hornet's nest. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Tace. Alcumena, unum rogare te volo. | Silence! (to Alcmena, sternly) Alcmena, there is something I wish to ask you. |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Quid vis roga. | Anything you please. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Num tibi aut stultitia accessit aut superat superbia? | Are you obsessed by some foolish notion, or is this pride running away with you? |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Qui istuc in mentemst tibi ex me, mi vir, percontarier? | What makes it enter your head to ask me such a question, my husband? |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Quia salutare advenientem me solebas antidhac, appellare, itidem ut pudicae suos viros quae sunt solent. eo more expertem te factam adveniens offendi domi. | Because till to-day you used to welcome me on my arrival and greet me as modest wives generally do their husbands. Yet here I come home to find you have dropped the habit. |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Ecastor equidem te certo heri advenientem ilico, et salutavi et valuissesne usque exquisivi simul, mi vir, et manum prehendi et osculum tetuli tibi. | Why mercy me, when you came home yesterday I certainly did welcome you the moment you appeared, and asked you in the same breath if you had been well all the time, and seized your hand and gave you a kiss. |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Tun heri hunc salutavisti? | Welcomed him yesterday, did you? |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Et te quoque etiam, Sosia. | Yes, and you, too, Sosia. |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Amphitruo, speravi ego istam tibi parituram filium; verum non est puero gravida. | Sir, I hoped she was going to bear you a son; but it's no child she's got. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Quid igitur? | What, then? |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Insania. | A crazy streak. |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Equidem sana sum et deos quaeso, ut salva pariam filium. verum tu malum magnum habebis, si his suom officium facit: ob istuc omen, ominator, capies quod te condecet. | (angrily) Indeed I have not, and I pray heaven I may safely bear a son. But you, sir, shall have an ample supply of aches and pains, if your master here does his duty! You shall be well rewarded for that omen, Sir Omener. |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Enim vero praegnati oportet et malum et malum dari, ut quod obrodat sit, animo si male esse occeperit. | Really now, ma'am, it's a lady in your condition ought to have aches and pains, yes, and an apple supply, too, so as to have something to chew on in case she gets to feeling seedy. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Tu me heri hic vidisti? | You saw me here yesterday? |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Ego, inquam, si vis decies dicere. | Yes, I,—if you must be told ten times over. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| In somnis fortasse? | In your sleep, perhaps? |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Immo vigilans vigilantem. | No, no, awake,—and you were awake, too. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Ei misero mihi. | Oh, this is terrible, terrible! |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Quid tibi est? | What ails you? |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Delirat uxor. |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Atra bili percita est. nulla res tam delirantis homines concinnat cito. | Bilious attack, sir, black bile. There's nothing sets 'em raving so soon. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Ubi primum tibi sensisti, mulier, impliciscier? | When did you first feel it coming on, woman? |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Equidem ecastor sana et salva sum. | Goodness me! I'm perfectly sane and sound. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Quor igitur praedicas, te heri me vidisse, qui hac noctu in portum advecti sumus? ibi cenavi atque ibi quievi in navi noctem perpetem, neque meum pedem huc intuli etiam in aedis, ut cum exercitu hinc profectus sum ad Teloboas hostis eosque ut vicimus. | Then why are you declaring you saw me yesterday, when we reached port last night? I took dinner there and spent the whole livelong night there on board my ship, and I have not set foot in this house from the time I and my troops started on our campaign against the Teloboians and conquered them. |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Immo mecum cenavisti et mecum cubuisti. | The idea! You had dinner with me and went to bed with me. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Quid est? | What? |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Vera dico. | I tell you the truth, sir. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Non de hac quidem hercle re; de aliis nescio. | Good God! Not in that, anyhow: about other matters I can't say. |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Primulo diluculo abiisti ad legiones. | And at the very break of day you went away to the army. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Quo modo? | How's that? |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Recte dicit, ut commeminit: somnium narrat tibi. sed, mulier, postquam experrecta es, te prodigiali Iovi aut mola salsa hodie aut ture comprecatam oportuit. | Quite straight, sir, as far as her memory goes: she's giving you her dream. But I say, ma'am, this morning after you woke up you ought to have taken some salted cakes, or incense, and prayed to Jove—he has charge of prodigies. |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Vae capiti tuo. | Oh confound you, sir! |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Tua istuc refert—si curaveris. | (innocently) That would do you good, ma'am—if you would see to it. |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Iterum iam hic in me inclementer dicit, atque id sine malo. | There he is, rude to me again, and not suffering for it! |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Tace tu. tu dic: egone abs te abii hinc hodie cum diluculo? | (to Sosia) Keep still, you! (to Alcmena) And you—I left you this morning at daybreak, did I? |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Quis igitur nisi vos narravit mi, illi ut fuerit proelium? | Why, who else but you two told me how the battle there went? |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| An etiam id tu scis? | You don't mean to say you know about that? |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Quippe qui ex te audivi, ut urbem maximam expugnavisses regemque Pterelam tute occideris. | Naturally, since I heard from your own lips how you took that great city and killed King Pterelas yourself. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Egone istuc dixi? | I told you that, I? |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Tute istic, etiam adstante hoc Sosia. | Yes, you yourself,—with Sosia here standing by, too. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Audivistin tu me narrare haec hodie? | (to Sosia) Have you ever heard me say a word of this? |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Ubi ego audiverim? | Heard you? Where? |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Hanc roga. | (sullenly) Ask her. |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Me quidem praesente numquam factum est, quod sciam. | You never did so far as I know, leastways with me at hand. |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Mirum quin te adversus dicat. | (ironically) It is strange he declines to contradict his own master. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Sosia, age me huc aspice. | Sosia, here! Look me in the eye. |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Specto. | (obeying) Very good, sir. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Vera volo loqui te, nolo adsentari mihi. audivistin tu hodie me illi dicere ea quae illa autumat? | What I want from you is the truth, no obsequiousness. Did you ever hear me utter a syllable of what she says? |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Quaeso edepol, num tu quoque etiam insanis, quom id me interrogas, qui ipsus equidem nunc primum istanc tecum conspicio simul? | Well, upon my word, I should like to ask if you are not crazy yourself, asking me a question like that—and I just this minute setting eyes on her for the first time along with you? |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Quid nunc, mulier? audin illum? | What now, madam? Do you hear him? |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Ego vero, ac falsum dicere. | To be sure I do—telling lies. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Neque tu illi neque mihi viro ipsi credis? | You won't believe him, or me, your own husband, either? |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Eo fit quia mihi plurimum credo et scio istaec facta proinde ut proloquor. | That is only because I believe myself most of all, and I know everything occurred just as I tell you. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Tun me heri advenisse dicis? | And you say that I arrived yesterday? |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Tun te abiisse hodie hinc negas? | And you deny that you left to-day? |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Nego enim vero, et me advenire nunc primum aio ad te domum. | Deny it? Of course I do. And I say I'm just now coming home to you for the first time. |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Obsecro, etiamne hoc negabis, te auream pateram mihi dedisse dono hodie, qua te illi donatum esse dixeras? | And will you deny this, too, pray,—that you gave me the golden bowl to-day that was presented to you there, as you said? |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Neque edepol dedi neque dixi; verum ita animatus fui itaque nunc sum, ut ea te patera donem. sed quis istuc tibi dixit? | By heaven! I neither gave it nor said it. But I did intend to make you a gift of that bowl, and do still. Who told you of that, though? |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Ego equidem ex te audivi et ex tua accepi manu pateram. | Why, I heard about it from your own lips and received the bowl from your own hand. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Mane, mane, obsecro te. nimis demiror, Sosia, qui illaec illic me donatum esse aurea patera sciat, nisi tu dudum hanc convenisti et narravisti haec omnia. | One moment, please, one moment! (turning to Sosia) It is very extraordinary. Sosia, how she knows I was presented with a golden bowl there, unless you met her a while ago yourself and told her the whole story. |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Neque edepol ego dixi neque istam vidi nisi tecum simul. | By gad, sir, I never told her, no, nor saw her, except here with you. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Quid hoc sit hominis? | (helplessly) What sort of a creature have I got here? |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Vin proferri pateram? | Would you like to have the bowl brought? |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Proferri volo. | Indeed I should. |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Fiat heus tu, Thessala, intus pateram proferto foras, qua hodie meus vir donavit me. | Very well. (calling to maid within) Ho, there! Thessala, bring out the bowl my husband gave me to day. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Secede huc tu, Sosia, enim vero illud praeter alia mira miror maxime, si haec habet pateram illam. | Sosia! Come over here. (they withdraw somewhat) Upon my soul, it will be the most astounding of all these astounding circumstances, if she has that. |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| An etiam credis id, quae in hac cistellula tuo signo obsignata fertur? | Do you really believe that, sir, when I've got it in this little chest here, sealed with your own signet? |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Salvom signum est? | Is the seal intact? |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Inspice. | (showing chest) Look and see. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Recte, ita est ut obsignavi. | (doing so) It is all right—just as I sealed it. |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Quaeso, quin tu istanc iubes pro cerrita circumferri? | For heaven's sake, why don't you have her treated for lunacy? |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Edepol qui facto est opus; nam haec quidem edepol larvarum plenast. | By Jove, so I should! Why, bless my soul, she's full of evil spirits! enter Thessala with bowl. |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Quid verbis opust? em tibi pateram, eccam. | Are you satisfied, sir? There! Your bowl, see! |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Cedo mi. | (dumbfounded) Give it here! |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Age aspice huc sis nunciam tu qui quae facta infitiare, quem ego iam hic convincam palam estne haec patera qua donatu's illi? | Come now, be so good as to look at it, you that do a thing and then disown it. I shall refute you plainly, sir, here and now. Is this the bowl which they presented to you there, or not? |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Summe Iuppiter, quid ego video? haec ea est profecto patera. perii, Sosia. | (taking it) Jove almighty! What do I see? The selfsame bowl, it is, it is! This is frightful, Sosia! |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Aut pol haec praestigiatrix multo mulier maxima est aut pateram hic inesse oportet. | By gad, she's either the greatest enchantress alive, easily, or the bowl must be inside here. (pointing to chest) |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Agedum, exsolve cistulam. | Come, come, unfasten the chest! |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Quid ego istam exsolvam? obsignatast recte, res gesta est bene: tu peperisti Amphitruonem, ego alium peperi Sosiam; nunc si patera pateram peperit, omnes congeminavimus. | Unfasten it? Why? It's sealed all right, everything is shipshape. You have spawned another Amphitryon; I have spawned another Sosia; now if the bowl has spawned another bowl, we've all doubled. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Certum est aperire atque inspicere. | I'm resolved: it must be opened and inspected. |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Vide sis signi quid siet, ne posterius in me culpam conferas. | You please take a look at the seal, sir, so that you won't blame me later. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Aperi modo; nam haec quidem nos delirantis facere dictis postulat. | (looking) Yes, yes, open up! Why, the woman is bent on driving us mad with her talk. |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Unde haec igitur est nisi abs te quae mihi dono data est? | Where did this come from, then, if not as a present from you? |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Opus mi est istuc exquisito. | (curtly) This matter needs my investigation. |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Iuppiter, pro Iuppiter. | (busy with chest) By Jove! Oh, by Jove! |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Quid tibi est? | (excited) What is it? |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Hic patera nulla in cistulast. | There's no bowl in the chest here at all! |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Quid ego audio? | What's that you say? |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Id quod verumst. | It's the honest truth. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| At cum cruciatu iam, nisi apparet, tuo. | But your skin shall soon pay for it, if it's not forthcoming. |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Haec quidem apparet. | This one is forthcoming, at any rate. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Quis igitur tibi dedit? | (roughly) Who gave it you, then? |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Qui me rogat. | (calmly) My questioner. |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Me captas, quia tute ab navi clanculum huc alia via praecucurristi, atque hinc pateram tute exemisti atque eam huic dedisti, post hanc rursum obsignasti clanculum. | (to Amphitryon) Trying to catch me! The fact is you ran on ahead from the ship yourself by another road on the sly, and took the bowl out yourself, and gave it to her, and then sealed up the chest again on the sly. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Ei mihi, iam tu quoque huius adiuvas insaniam? an heri nos advenisse huc? | Oh, ye gods! So now you are abetting her delusions, too! (to Alcmena, with forced calmness) We came here yesterday, you say? |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Aio, adveniensque ilico me salutavisti, et ego te, et osculum tetuli tibi. | Yes, and the moment you arrived you greeted me, and I you, and I gave you a kiss. |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Iam illud non placet principium de osculo. | Now I don't like that, that beginning with a kiss! |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Perge exsequi. | Go on, go on! |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Lavisti. | Then you bathed. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Quid postquam lavi? | And after bathing? |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Accubuisti. | You took your place on the dining couch. |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Euge optime, nunc exquire. | Bravo, sir! Great work! Now get to the bottom of it. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Ne interpella. perge porro dicere. | (to Sosia) No interruptions! (to Alcmena) Go on with your story. |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Cena adposita est, cenavisti mecum, ego accubui simul. | Dinner was served: we dined together: I took my place on the couch, too. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| In eodem lecto? | The same couch? |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| In eodem. | Surely. |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Ei, non placet convivium. | Oho! This banqueting looks bad! |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Sine modo argumenta dicat. quid postquam cenavimus? | (to Sosia) That will do. Let her state her case. (to Alcmena) What after we dined? |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Te dormitare aibas, mensa ablata est. cubitum hinc abiimus. | You said you were sleepy: the table was removed: we went off to bed. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Ubi tu cubuisti? | Where did you sleep? |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| In eodem lecto tecum una in cubiculo. | Why, with you, in our room. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Perdidisti. | Oh, my God! |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Quid tibi est? | What ails you? |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Haec me modo ad mortem dedit. | She has killed me, killed me! |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Quid iam, amabo? | Why, my dear man, what do you mean? |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Ne me appella. | (furiously) Don't speak to me! |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Quid tibi est? | What ails you? |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Perii miser, quia pudicitiae huius vitium me hinc absente est additum. | Oh, God help me! She's been seduced while I was gone! |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Obsecro ecastor, cur istuc, mi vir, ex ted audio? | Good heavens! For mercy's sake how can you say such a thing, my dear husband? |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Vir ego tuos sim? ne me appella, falsa, falso nomine. | Am I your husband? Oh, you false wretch, none of your false names for me! |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Haeret haec res, si quidem haec iam mulier facta est ex viro. | Here's a pretty mess, if he is turned into a woman and is not her husband! |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Quid ego feci, qua istaec propter dicta dicantur mihi? | What have I done to be talked to like that? |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Tute edictas facta tua, ex me quaeris quid deliqueris. | You have recounted your doings yourself—and you ask me what the harm is! |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Quid ego tibi deliqui, si, cum nupta sum, tecum fui? | Pray tell me what I have done in being with you, the man I married? |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Tun mecum fueris? quid illac impudente audacius? saltem, tute si pudoris egeas, sumas mutuom. | You with me? Of all brazen shamelessness! You might at least borrow some sense of decency, if you have none of your own! |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Istuc facinus, quod tu insimulas, nostro generi non decet. tu si me inpudicitiai captas, capere non potes. | Such behaviour as you accuse me of does not become members of my family, sir. Angle for me if you wish, you cannot catch me in such unspeakable conduct. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Pro di immortales, cognoscin tu me saltem, Sosia? | Great God! You know me, anyhow, Sosia, don't you? |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Propemodum. | Well, rather! |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Cenavin ego heri in navi in portu Persico? | Didn't I dine yesterday on shipboard at Port Persicus? |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Mihi quoque adsunt testes, qui illud quod ego dicam adsentiant. | Yes, and I too have witnesses to corroborate what I say. |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Nescio quid istuc negoti dicam, nisi si quispiam est Amphitruo alius, qui forte ted hinc absenti tamen tuam rem curet teque absente hic munus fungatur tuom. nam quod de illo subditivo Sosia mirum nimis, certe de istoc Amphitruone iam alterum mirum est magis. | I can't puzzle it out, sir, unless there's some other Amphitryon to manage your business, no matter if you are away, and to do your job for you when you have gone. I tell you what, that sham Sosia was monstrous surprising, but this second Amphitryon is certainly more so. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Nescio quis praestigiator hanc frustratur mulierem. | Some magician or other has bedevilled the woman! |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Per supremi regis regnum iuro et matrem familias Iunonem, quam me vereri et metuere est par maxume, ut mi extra unum te mortalis nemo corpus corpore contigit, quo me impudicam faceret. | (slowly and impressively) I swear by the kingdom of the King on high and by Juno, the matron goddess I most should reverence and fear—so may she bless me as no mortal man, save you only, has taken me to him as a wife. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Vera istaec velim. | Ah, I wish it was the truth! |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Vera dico, sed nequiquam, quoniam non vis credere. | It is the truth, but what of that, when you refuse to believe me! |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Mulier es, audacter iuras. | You're a woman; you swear boldly. |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Quae non deliquit, decet audacem esse, confidenter pro se et proterve loqui. | A woman who has done nothing wrong ought to be bold, yes, and self confident and forward in her own defence. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Satis audacter. | Bold, with a vengeance! |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Ut pudicam decet. | As innocence should be. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Enim verbis proba's.21 | Yes, you're immaculate as far as talk goes. |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Non ego illam mihi dotem duco esse, quae dos dicitur, sed pudicitiam et pudorem et sedatum cupidinem, deum metum, parentum amorem et cognatum concordiam, tibi morigera atque ut munifica sim bonis, prosim probis. | (quietly) Personally I do not feel that my dowry is that which people call a dowry, but purity and honour and self control, fear of God, love of parents, and affection for my family, and being a dutiful wife to you, sir, lavish of loving-kindness and helpful through honest service. |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Ne ista edepol, si haec vera loquitur, examussim est optima. | My word! She's a regular pattern of perfection, if she's telling the truth. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Delenitus sum profecto ita, ut me qui sim nesciam. | Upon my soul, I have been so bewitched I don't know who I am! |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Amphitruo es profecto, cave sis ne tu te usu perduis: ita nunc homines immutantur, postquam peregre advenimus. | You're Amphitryon right enough, sir—but just look out you don't lose your title to yourself by limitation, the way folks are getting changed about these days since we came back from abroad. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Mulier, istam rem inquisitam certum est non amittere. | (to Alcmena, sternly) This matter shall not escape investigation, madam, I am resolved on that. |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Edepol me libente facies. | Dear me, sir, do investigate, and welcome! |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Quid ais? responde mihi. quid si adduco tuom cognatum huc ab navi Naucratem, qui mecum una vectust una navi, atque is si denegat facta quae tu facta dicis, quid tibi aequom est fieri? numquid causam dicis, quin te hoc multem matrimionio? | See here, answer me this—what if I bring your own relative, Naucrates, over from the ship? He made the voyaage with me on the same vessel—now if he denies that I did as you say what do you deserve? Have you any reason to give that I should not divorce you? |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Si deliqui, nulla causa est. | None, if I have done wrong. |
| Amph. | Amph. |
| Convenit. tu, Sosia, duc hos intro. ego huc ab navi mecum adducam Naucratem. | Agreed! (turning to Sosia) Sosia, take these fellows in. (pointing to slaves with luggage) I will bring Naucrates here from the ship. (Sosia sends slaves inside) [exit Amphitryon. |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Nunc quidem praeter nos nemo est. dic mihi verum serio: ecquis alius Sosia intust, qui mei similis siet? | (to Alcmena, confidentially) Now then, ma'am, no one's here besides us. (elaborately makes sure of it) Do be serious and tell me the truth—is there another Sosia inside who's just like me? |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Abin hinc a me dignus domino servos? | (indignantly) Will you leave my sight, sir—you slave worthy of your master! |
| Sos. | Sos. |
| Abeo, si iubes. | Sure, ma'am, if you say so. [exit into house. |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Nimis ecastor facinus mirum est, qui illi conlibitum siet meo viro sic me insimulare falso facinus tam malum. quicquid est, iam ex Naucrate cognato id cognoscam meo. | Merciful heavens! It's simply unintelligible, how my husband could think fit to accuse me of such atrocious conduct without the slightest cause. Well, whatever it is, I shall soon know about it from Naucrates, one of my own family. [exit into house. |
| III. 2.Table of Contents | Scene 2Table of Contents |
| | enter Alcmena from house. |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Durare nequeo in aedibus. ita me probri, stupri, dedecoris a viro argutam meo! ea quae sunt facta infecta ut reddat clamitat. quae neque sunt facta neque ego in me admisi arguit; atque id me susque deque esse habituram putat. | I can't stand staying in the house! To be branded so with shame, disloyalty, disgrace, by my own husband! How he clamours to make facts no facts! And what never happened, things I never, never did, he accuses me of, and thinks I'll consider it quite immaterial. |
| non edepol faciam, neque me perpetiar probri falso insimulatam, quin ego illum aut deseram aut satis faciat mi ille atque adiuret insuper, nolle esse dicta quae in me insontem protulit. | Good gracious, but I won't! I won't endure such an awful, unjustified accusation: I will leave him, or he must apologize, one or the other, yes, and swear he is sorry, too, for the things he has said to an innocent woman. |
| Iup. | Jup. |
| Faciundum est mi illud, fieri quod illaec postulat, si me illam amantem ad sese studeam recipere, quando ego quod feci, id factum Amphitruoni offuit atque illi dudum meus amor negotium insonti exhibuit, nunc autem insonti mihi illius ira in hanc et male dicta expetent. | (aside, dryly) Hm! It's incumbent upon me to meet her demands, if I wish the loving creature to take me into her good graces again. Since my doings offended Amphitryon, and this love affair of mine lately occasioned his guiltless self some consternation, it is turn about now, and my guiltless self has to suffer for the scorn and contumely he heaped on her. |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Sed eccum video qui me miseram arguit stupri, dedecoris. | (aside, seeing him) Ah, there he is—the man that charges his wretched wife with disloyalty and shame! |
| Iup. | Jup. |
| Te volo, uxor, conloqui. quo te avortisti?22 | I wish to speak with you, my dear. (circling her as she turns her back on him) Turned away? Where to? |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Ita ingenium meumst: inimicos semper osa sum optuerier. | It is natural I should, sir: I always loathed looking at enemies. |
| Iup. | Jup. |
| Heia autem inimicos? | Oh, I say now! Enemies? |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Sic est, vera praedico; nisi etiam hoc falso dici insimulaturus es. | Yes, enemies: and that's the truth of it—unless you intend to term this a lie, too. |
| Iup. | Jup. |
| Nimis iracunda es. | (trying to fondle her) You're too irritable. |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Potin ut abstineas manum? nam certo, si sis sanus aut sapias satis, quam tu impudicam esse arbitrere et praedices, cum ea tu sermonem nec ioco nec serio tibi habeas, nisi sis stultior stultissimo. | (pulling away) Can't you keep your hands off? Why surely, sir, if you were sane or had a particle of sense about you, when you think your wife is immodest and tell her so yourself, you wouldn't hold any conversation with her at all in jest or earnest, unless you were the silliest of silly men. |
| Iup. | Jup. |
| Si dixi, nihilo magis es, neque ego esse arbitror, et id huc revorti uti me purgarem tibi. nam numquam quicquam meo animo fuit aegrius, quam postquam audivi ted esse iratam mihi. cur dixisti? inquies. ego expediam tibi. | My saying so doesn't make you so any the more, And I don't think you so, either; and I've come back to set myself right with you. For I never did feel sicker at heart about anything than after I heard you were provoked with me. "Why did you say it?" you'll ask. I'll clear up that point for you. |
| non edepol quo te esse impudicam crederem; verum periclitatus sum animum tuom, quid faceres et quo pacto id ferre induceres. equidem ioco illa dixeram dudum tibi, ridiculi causa. vel hunc rogato Sosiam. | Bless your heart, it wasn't because I believed you were immodest. I was just testing your feelings to see what you'd do and how you'd take it. (forcing a laugh) Really it was all a joke, what I said just now, merely a bit of fun. Why, you can ask Sosia here. (pointing to house) |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Quin huc adducis meum cognatum Naucratem, testem quem dudum te adducturum dixeras, te huc non venisse? | (coldly) Why do you not bring my relative Naucrates, as you just now said you would, to prove you had not been here? |
| Iup. | Jup. |
| Si quid dictum est per iocum, non aequom est id te serio praevortier. | If something is said in joke, it's not fair to take it in earnest. |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Ego illud scio quam doluerit cordi meo. | I know one thing—that joke of yours cut me to the heart, sir. |
| Iup. | Jup. |
| Per dexteram tuam te, Alcumena, oro obsecro. da mihi hanc veniam, ignosce, irata ne sies. | (seizing her hand) I beg and beseech you, Alcmena, by this right hand of yours, do forgive me for it; pardon me: don't be angry! |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Ego istaec feci verba virtute irrita; nunc, quando factis me impudicis abstini, ab impudicis dictis avorti volo. valeas, tibi habeas res tuas, reddas meas. iuben mi ire comites | Your charges are refuted by my honest life; now, sir, having been guiltless of gross behaviour, I will not be subjected to gross language. Good bye. Keep your own things and return me mine. Will you older my attendants to follow me? (turns to go) |
| Iup. | Jup. |
| Sanan es? | Are you in your senses? |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Si non iubes, ibo egomet; comitem mihi Pudicitiam duxero.23 | If you decline to do so, I will go with my woman's honour as my only escort. (walks away) |
| Iup. | Jup. |
| Mane. arbitratu tuo ius iurandum dabo, me meam pudicam esse uxorem arbitrarier. id ego si fallo, tum te, summe Iuppiter, quaeso, Amphitruoni ut semper iratus sies. | (holding her) Wait, wait! I'll swear to it—at your dictation—that I believe my wife is virtuous. If I deceive you in this, then, Jove almighty, I invoke thy curse upon Amphitryon for evermore. |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| A, propitius sit potius. | (hurriedly) Oh no! His blessing, his blessing! |
| Iup. | Jup. |
| Confido fore; nam ius iurandum verum te advorsum dedi. iam nunc irata non es? | I trust to have it, for it is a reliable oath I have given you. (drawing her close) Now you're not angry, are you? |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Non sum. | (submitting) No. |
| Iup. | Jup. |
| Bene facis. nam in hominum aetate multa eveniunt huius modi: capiunt voluptates, capiunt rursum miserias; irae interveniunt, redeunt rursum in gratiam. verum irae si quae forte eveniunt huius modi inter eos, rursum si reventum in gratiam est, bis tanto amici sunt inter se quam prius. | (caressing her) That's a good girl. Why, life is full of incidents of this sort. Human beings lay hold on pleasures and then again on pains. Quarrels come between them, and then they are reconciled again. But if any such quarrel as this does happen to arise between them, then when it blows over they are twice as fond of one another as they were before. |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Primum cavisse oportuit ne diceres, verum eadem si isdem purgas mi, patiunda sunt. | You should have been careful not to say such a thing in the first place; but if you apologize so nicely for hurting me so, I can't complain. |
| Iup. | Jup. |
| Iube vero vasa pura adornari mihi, ut quae apud legionem vota vovi. si domum rediissem salvos, ea ego exsolvam omnia. | Well, well, then, have the sacrificial vessel prepared for me so that I can pay all the vows I vowed for a safe return home when I was in the field. |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Ego istuc curabo. | I will attend to that. |
| Iup. | Jup. |
| Evocate huc Sosiam; gubernatorem, qui in mea navi fuit Blepharonem arcessat, qui nobiscum prandeat is adeo24 inpransus ludificabitur, cum ego Amphitruonem collo hinc obstricto traham. | (to maids in doorway) Call Sosia out. I want him to invite Blepharo, the pilot aboard my ship, to lunch with us. (exeunt maids) (aside) As a matter of fact, friend Blepharo will be left unlunched and looking foolish when I turn Amphitryon out neck and crop. |
| Alc. | Alc. |
| Mirum quid solus secum secreto ille agat. atque aperiuntur aedis. exit Sosia. | (aside) I wonder what he's talking about all to himself! Ah, there goes the door! Sosia's coming out. |
