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Regular contractions don’t happen in every birth, so try not to attach yourself to timing them rigidly. The Signs of Progress list (below) is also a good way to tell how you are doing.

SOME GOOD SIGNS THAT YOUR LABOUR IS PROGRESSING

 Frequent contractions

 Backache

 Deep pelvic pain

 Waters breaking

 More bloody show

 Breathing changes

 Tender belly or back

 Curling toes

 Making animalistic noises

 Perspiration, shaking legs, chattering teeth

 Thirst

 Loss of appetite, nausea, vomiting

 Hiccups/burping

 Intense concentration on contractions

 Not wanting to be touched

 Not wanting to be left alone

 Tiredness

 Asking for medication/help

Emotional signs:

 Anger/frustration/demoralisation

 Confusion or apprehension

 Surprising lack of modesty

 Obsession with ritual

 General irritability

 Amnesia between contractions

 Restlessness

‘Hard’ labour is usually shorter than early labour, thank goodness. If you don’t have drugs or clocks you may not have any idea of how long it lasts. You may get into a trance-like state, needing weird rituals or objects. This is when you really rely on your birth partner(s) and midwife: they’ll help you with positions, find ways with you to keep the labour progressing, and will keep you confident and calm. You might sound odd at this point. During the hardest part of Ted’s birth my husband John says I sounded like an old drunkard. I’d be moaning ‘Penny, is ‘e ok?’ and Penny (my midwife) would say ‘Yes, he’s doing very well. He’s fine.’ And two minutes later I’d slur, ‘Is ’e ok Penny?’ Lucky midwives are so patient.

Your waters might break (if they haven’t already) during this phase. This can help your labour to progress. This is why sometimes your midwife might want to break your waters for you – ‘artificial rupture of membranes’ – to help the birth along. You may become irritable or even angry between contractions. ‘Many of my clients are totally bitchy here,’ says Julia ‘and I’m usually relieved – it’s a sign that they are moving to the next part of labour. Most also tear at their clothes and become naked as this part of labour goes on.’ If you’re shy about nudity, wear a sports bra. Do not let incidental worries like baring your boobs stand in the way of this birth.

Many women begin to lose touch with what is going on around them during hard labour. This sounds scary for the control freaks among us, but it can be strangely liberating. With Sam, I was extremely concerned not to go to the hospital too soon (as I did in my first labour). It took John nearly two hours to get me from the bathroom in our house to the hospital car park (a five minute car ride away). Julia watched through the hospital window as it took me another 20 minutes to get from the car to the door of the hospital. I arrived on the labour ward in the lift on hands and knees, baying like a cow. If you find this disturbing remember: the midwives, doctors and nurses (and, presumably your husband) have seen it all before. They do not care what parts of your anatomy are showing or what noises you are making.