Читать книгу Matt's Family - Lynnette Kent - Страница 10

LUKE AND SARAH had the girls over for dinner on the Wednesday before their trip and broke the news about the mountain vacation. Erin and Jenny came home that night dancing on the air.

“We get to go to the mountains!” Erin gave Buster a hug and then flopped down on the floor beside him, her chin on her hands and her legs bouncing off the floor in alternate arcs. “Isn’t that neat, Mommy?”

“An’ Daddy says there’s a castle we can see.” Jenny had climbed into her mother’s lap. “We get to see a real castle.”

“It sounds just wonderful.” Kristin smiled but Matt didn’t think the effort quite worked. He could see the sadness behind her eyes. “I know you’ll have a lovely time.”

“You could come, too, Mommy.” Erin cast a guilty glance in Matt’s direction. “I mean you and Daddy Matt. We could all go to the mountains.”

Matt set his jaw, waiting for Kristin’s response. When she didn’t seem to have one, he figured he’d better say something. “I think you and Jenny will have fun with your…with Luke and Sarah by yourselves. We’ll stay home, and then the four of us can take a trip later. Two vacations in one summer. How does that sound?”

Jenny stared at him with her mother’s serious brown gaze and sucked her thumb. Erin shrugged. “Okay. Maybe we can go back to the mountains. Daddy says you can see for forever in some places, and in some places the clouds are so close to the ground you can’t see anything. That’s why they’re called the Smokey Mountains. Can we get a book from the library on mountains, Mommy? I want to know all about ’em before we get there.”

Erin was still talking about mountains when Kristin herded the girls up to bed. Matt dropped his head back against the chair and stared at the ceiling, keeping his mind a careful blank until Kristin returned.

“Did they go to sleep?”

She sighed and dropped onto the couch. “Jenny did. Erin’s still reading. She found that book about North Carolina Indian tribes that Luke gave her and is learning all about the Cherokee Nation.”

“Oh.” In the silence that fell between them, he argued with himself about mentioning—again—the possibility of telling Erin the truth. Nothing major had changed in their lives to warrant a new request. Kris would never agree to break the news just before the girls left for a vacation with Luke. Why say anything at all?

Because…because the awkwardness and the dishonesty of the situation were tearing him up, dammit. He couldn’t keep quiet. “You know, I’ve been wondering if this summer would be a good time to explain…things…to Erin.”

Kristin stared at him. “Now? Before they go away?” She shook her head. “I don’t think—”

He held up a hand. “No, not right now. But afterward, we could go somewhere, like I said—a theme park, or maybe Stone Mountain—and talk about it while we’re there. Neutral territory, and all that.”

“But—” Kristin didn’t know what to say. The suggestion made sense…and it terrified her. “I’m not sure Erin is…is ready.”

Just how will you know when she’s ready?” Matt’s voice was dangerously even.

She gripped her hands together in her lap. “Well, when she’s more accepting. When she counts less on Luke.”

“And how’s that going to happen when she spends two weeks with him in the mountains?”

“You liked the idea!” The words exploded before she thought them through. “ You said yes before I could even decide.”

He shrugged and looked away. “I figured you’d agree.”

“I’m not sure whether I would have or not. But you didn’t give me a choice.”

“However it happened, there’s no going back. So let’s plan what to do about the rest.”

Kristin pressed her fingertips to her pounding temples. “I don’t think I can do that right now. Why don’t we just get through the next couple of weeks, get them back home, and then figure it out?”

“That’s what we’ve been doing for the last two years—postponing the inevitable, waiting for the ‘right’ moment. Or…” He looked over, his eyes suddenly those of someone Kristin wasn’t sure she knew. “Maybe you’ve changed your mind about ever telling her.”

The last thing she wanted was for Matt to know that she’d considered that option seriously. “N…no. I think it’s the right thing to do. I just want to be sure that the timing is…right.”

Gathering all her courage, Kristin met her husband’s stare. Right away, she saw that he recognized her hesitation, interpreted it correctly. His face held disappointment and anger and a deep, deep hurt.

But he was a grown man—a soldier, in fact—who was used to dealing with difficult situations. Erin was still a little girl who needed care, understanding…protection. Whose view of the world would be forever changed when she finally knew the truth.

“Well.” Hands pushing against his knees, Matt got to his feet. “I won’t argue with a mother’s instinct. You know Erin better than I do, so I guess you’re right.” The tone wasn’t sarcastic, but the words stung. “I think I’ll head on up to bed. Are you ready?”

She was exhausted, yet too keyed up to sleep. “I think I’ll watch TV for a little while. You go ahead.”

Matt lifted his chin, as if to take a punch. An instant longer he stood still, gazing at a horizon beyond the walls of the room.

Then with his quick, long stride, he crossed to the couch. Bending, he kissed her on the forehead and briefly, on the lips. “Okay. I’ll see you later, then.”

“G’night.” She wanted to add, “I love you.”

But somehow she didn’t think she’d be believed.

“IS IT REALLY wise to let Erin and Jenny go so far away?”

Kristin looked up from folding little-girl underwear. “They’ll love the mountains.”

Her mother picked up a pair of socks and rolled them together. “But—”

“Just tell me what’s on your mind, Mom. Where do you see a problem?”

“It seems strange to take a vacation apart from your children. Especially when they’re so young.”

“That’s what happens in divorce.” She set a neat pile of laundry in the basket, then shrugged. “Strange arrangements have to be made.”

“I wish—”

Kristin simply waited.

“I wish this had all turned out differently for you.”

Didn’t they all? “How?”

“If Matt had never gone away—”

“He’s in the Army, Mom. That was his job, and still is.”

“Well, maybe he needs another job. At least he could stay out of the Special Forces.” Her mother folded the last nightgown. “A man owes his wife and family consideration in matters like this. I imagine if you spoke to him—”

“But I’m not going to, Mom.” She held her temper with an effort. “I married Matt knowing he was Army, knowing he was Special Forces. That’s a commitment I made. It wouldn’t be fair to ask him to change now.”

A worry line deepened between her mother’s eyebrows. “But if something happens…how will you manage?”

Kristin put her arms around the other woman’s shoulders and squeezed. So much had already happened. “I survived five years thinking Matt was dead, and I survived him coming back. I survived ending a marriage. I know the risks of Matt’s job, but I’m not going to ask him to give up the career he loves. We’ll deal with whatever comes up.”

Irene Jennings sniffed, and returned the hug. “I just want you to be happy.” She stepped back and smiled. “Shall I make some coffee?”

“That sounds good. I’ll take these upstairs. Be right back.”

But in Erin’s room, Kristin sat down on the bed and put her face in her hands. Her brave words aside, she wasn’t at all sure what would happen next in her marriage, or how to face it.

And the one person who could help—her husband—was the last person she could ask.

ELENA BRENNAN TRACED the edge of the photograph with her finger. Matthew and Luke grinned at her from the paper, posed on the very rim of Arizona’s Grand Canyon. At twelve, Matthew had been tall for his age, gangly in the way adolescent boys are, passionately interested in the canyon and its history. He’d always been a serious, responsible child. With his father gone so much of the time on Army assignments, she’d depended on Matt as more than just a little boy. He had never let her down.

A hand came to rest on her shoulder. Elena jumped slightly, and looked up to find her husband standing behind her. “Didn’t mean to startle you, m’dear. What have you got there?” He sat down at the table.

She turned the album toward him. “I was dusting inside the cabinet in the family room and came across these pictures of our different vacations. We took this one at the Grand Canyon.”

William nodded. “I remember. We lost Luke our second day there and were lucky to find him before he started down into the canyon with a group of climbers.” He chuckled. “That boy could find adventure wherever he went.”

“Scaring us all to death in the process.” Elena didn’t share William’s fondness for Luke’s exploits. She’d worried too much, having to handle such an unpredictable boy on her own. She’d often needed Matt’s help to keep his brother from getting completely out of hand.

“What else is in this album?” William flipped through the pages. “The skiing vacation in Utah…the beach trip…the tour of Washington. We did have some good times when the boys were young, didn’t we?”

“Of course. You made sure we took a special family trip every year.” She leaned over to kiss his cheek. “I knew many Army wives whose husbands made no apologies for missing family times. I always felt lucky.” She got up from the table. “Shall I get dinner?”

“Whenever you’re ready.” He sat at the table, browsing through the photograph album as she prepared their meal. Only as she set their plates on the table did William speak again. “I’m worried about Matt. He’s taking too long on this decision to get back into Special Forces.”

“I expect Kristin is behind that delay. I seriously doubt she supports the idea.”

“You think she would prevent him from returning to his unit?”

“I think she could make it very difficult for him to do so.”

“What can we do to help him get back on track?” As William set down his fork, his face reflected his troubled thoughts.

She reached for his hand. “Perhaps you should talk to Matt alone. Without Kristin listening, you might make some progress.”

William nodded. “I’ll do that. I bet the boy’ll stop looking so beaten once he’s back in the real Army.”

Elena wondered, as they finished eating, how a change in Matt’s career would affect his marriage. She’d never thought Kristin truly appropriate as an Army wife, and she had hoped Matt would realize that in time. But then he had gone missing and Kristin had taken up with Luke, which confirmed all of Elena’s opinions.

The divorce and remarriage, after Matt’s return, had been such a mess, and so embarrassing, that she’d supported him in his plans, just to have things settled.

Now Kristin would have to realize her responsibilities. If she didn’t…

That young woman might find herself even further outside Army life than she expected! And as long as the little girls stayed with Matt, Elena wouldn’t whisper the first word of protest.

EARLY SUMMER was a busy time for recruiters—or what passed for busy, anyway. High-school graduates who didn’t plan on college suddenly realized they needed some means of support, and the military looked like a sure bet. Matt counseled and interviewed and helped with application forms, did the paperwork, and kept his files neat. The easy routine had been a godsend in the months after he came back from Africa.

Now it just dragged him down.

When the bell on the door jingled, he braced himself for another round of question and answer. But as he stepped out of his office, he saw his father standing at the front desk.

They shook hands. “Planning to reenlist, Dad?”

“Don’t I wish.” The Colonel shook his head. “Life outside the Army never feels right.”

“Come on back.” Matt led the way and waved his dad into a chair. “Coffee? Soda?”

“No, thanks. Your mother and I just finished lunch.”

“What’s Mom up to? She’s always got some project going.”

“Planning the Fourth of July party. As soon as Memorial Day passes, she starts on that one. How are my granddaughters?”

“A little bit crazy. Since Luke told them about the trip to the mountains, they’ve been bouncing off the walls.”

“They’re a lively pair.” William Brennan’s hawkish gray eyes softened. “Enough spirit for several more children.”

“That’s for sure.” Matt closed the book he’d been reading and set it to the side.

His father leaned forward. “If you’ve got time to read, son, you need another job. What’s the book?”

“That new account of the battle at Gettysburg.”

“You’ve already got it?” He extended his hand and Matt passed him the book.

“Yes, sir. The guy’s done his homework, and he’s got a way with words. He almost puts you on the front line.”

The Colonel looked up. “Which is where you should be.”

“Don’t start, Dad.”

“It’s time you got back to the job. You owe your country the use of your mind and your strength.”

“I’ve given the Army most of my life since I was sixteen years old and joined Junior ROTC. That’s nearly twenty years.” He tried not to sound defensive.

“Some men give their entire life. You can’t ask for a greater honor.”

“I understand that perspective. But this is a different age from Gettysburg, or World War II, or even Vietnam. Maybe the country needs more than just…more than soldiers.”

“Like what?”

“Well…” Think, Brennan. “Teachers? Government leaders? People to see what the future holds and prepare our kids to handle the challenge?”

“There are plenty of men out there who can teach, make plans. Your combination of skills is what makes the Army work.”

This conversation was destined to go in circles. Matt leaned back in his chair. “I understand, Dad. I’m giving the whole issue a lot of thought. Anything else I can do for you today?” An abrupt change of subject.

But effective. His father drew out his pipe and clamped it between his teeth, avoiding Matt’s eyes. “I got to wondering last night what you and Kristin planned to do for your first anniversary celebration.”

“We haven’t talked about that. I was thinking dinner and that new Broadway show out at the theater. Why?”

His dad actually looked a little embarrassed. “I just…a little fatherly advice here…Why don’t you and Kristin take some time off? Get away, just the two of you, while the girls are in the mountains with Luke and Sarah?”

Matt stared at the man across the desk. “What brought this up?”

“Nothing, really.” The Colonel shrugged. “Well, except it occurred to me that Kristin’s had a rough time these last few years. She might feel…better…if she has you to herself for a while.”

Matt realized he should have thought of this one without help. Maybe that was part of the problem—maybe he’d been taking Kristin for granted. “You’re absolutely right—we should make our own getaway. Where would be a good place to go?”

His father held up his hands. “I’m not meddling any further. You take it from here.”

“I will.” They both got to their feet, and Matt put out his hand again. “Thanks for thinking about us.”

“My pleasure. Kristin will make a good Special Forces wife.”

Laughing, Matt pulled back the glass door panel for his dad to step through. “Give Mom my love.”

The Colonel settled into his beige Cadillac. “Sure thing.”

Matt turned back inside. The office seemed small all at once, and the air smelled stale. He felt as if he’d been cooped up inside forever. How long had it been since he’d slept out under the stars? Maybe he and Kris should go camping…

No. Kris worked hard enough at home—she ought to get a chance to simply relax. But they lived in a beach town, with the ocean just a mile away from their house, so a beach trip wouldn’t mean much. He didn’t like the idea of following Luke to the mountains—sure, there were lots of mountains, but did he have to imitate his little brother right down the line?

So where?

His eye fell on the Gettysburg book and he sat forward to pick it up. Ever since grade school, he’d been fascinated by all aspects of the Civil War. And he’d long promised himself a chance to visit some of the places forever marked by that violent conflict.

Why not now?

A couple of hours of planning later, Matt whistled as he closed up the office. What a great idea this was. He could hardly wait to tell Kris!

ON THE FRIDAY EVENING before the girls were set to leave, Matt caught Kristin’s hand as she got up to start clearing the table after dinner. “I’ve got a surprise for you.”

As she sat down, her heart bumped hard against her ribs. “A surprise?”

“Yeah.” From beside his chair, he brought out a big manila envelope. “You and I are going to take a little trip. An anniversary trip.” He pulled out a sheaf of shiny brochures. “See what you think.”

Fredericksburg. Arlington. Manassas. Antietam. Gettysburg. “Battlefields?” Kristin stared at him blankly over the tableful of dishes. “You want to visit battle-fields?”

He nodded, his blue eyes bright. “And other historic places around them. I’ve lined up some great bed-and-breakfast inns for us to stay in on the way. We can cruise country roads, soak up the fresh air and space, stop when we feel like it, do whatever we want to. How does that sound?”

“You’re planning to bring the girls?” She couldn’t picture Erin or Jenny at their ages being interested in an old war.

“Nope. Just you and me this time. While they’re in the mountains.”

“Oh.” She swung from one kind of dread to another. “Just us.”

“No beds to make, no dishes, no meals to cook, no laundry. Ten days with nothing to do but relax, kick back, enjoy.”

“That…that sounds really nice. But it sounds kind of expensive, too. Can we afford a long trip like that?” Could they afford that much time alone? What would they talk about? Would they discover there was nothing between them anymore but…but duty?

“No problem. Our savings account is pretty fat. I think we can spare the cash.”

She was running out of excuses. “Can you get off work so soon?”

“My leave has already been approved.” His grin disappeared. He searched her face, his eyes wary. “You don’t like the idea, Kris? We can do something else if you want. Or we can stay home.”

“Oh, Matt. No.” Now her heart cramped with guilt. She took his hand with both of hers. “It’s a beautiful idea. I love that part of the country, and it’ll be great to get away from the beach crowds for a while. I’m just…this happened so fast.”

“That’s because it’s a surprise.” He drew her hand to his mouth and kissed her knuckles as Erin and Jenny and Buster tumbled into the kitchen.

“A surprise? What surprise?” Erin grabbed at her half-finished glass of milk. “For me?”

“For me?” Jenny asked, climbing into Kristin’s lap.

Buster sat on his haunches and stared expectantly.

Kristin drew her hand back and managed a laugh. “No, for me. Matt and I are…taking a trip just like the two of you.”

“You’re coming to the mountains, too, Mommy?” Erin nodded. “That’ll be cool.”

“No, love. We’re going to visit some historic places in Virginia and Maryland. You’ll still get time with just your dad and Sarah.”

Jenny tugged on Kristin’s shirt collar. “Where’s that? Can I go?”

Matt drew a paper out of the brochure stack and unfolded a map. “I can show you, Miss Jenny. See, this is the mountains, where you’ll be. And this green line over here…” He traced a route north from Myrtle Beach through Washington, D.C., and beyond. “That’s where your mom and I will be driving.”

Jenny stared, her thumb inching toward her pouting mouth. “Is it very far?”

Erin stood, hands on her hips, studying the map. “What’s at the places with circles?”

Kristin pulled Jenny in closer. “Battlefields, historic houses, um…museums.”

“That doesn’t sound like much fun.” Erin frowned.

“Maybe not when you’re almost eight.” Matt refolded the map. “I like history, though. And these places were really important during the War Between the States.”

Facts always caught Erin’s attention. “What’s that?”

“A time when our country was divided into two parts, and the northern part fought a war against the southern part.”

“Why?”

Kristin smiled at Jenny. “Want to help me clean up while they talk?” As Matt explained the Civil War to Erin, Jenny brought the dishes to the sink and Kristin stacked them in the dishwasher. Both exercises were finished about the same time.

“Can we go to the beach?” Erin asked.

Kristin nodded. “Sure, it’s early. Go get your swimsuits on.” She gave a sigh of relief. The girls had adjusted to the idea of their trip without nearly the resistance she’d expected. Now, if she could only adjust to hers!

SUNDAY MORNING arrived soon enough and went by so fast that Luke and Sarah were at the door before Kristin realized the time had arrived.

“Daddy!” Erin—followed by Buster, as usual—ran through the hall and into Luke’s arms. “I’m all packed. Let’s go!”

He laughed and gave her a hug. “I’m ready if you are. Where’s Jen?”

Jenny came toward them, pulling a wagon loaded with stuffed animals. “These go with me, Daddy.” She extended the handle. “Don’t drop them.”

The four adults gazed at each other, trying not to laugh. Then Luke squatted down to Jenny’s level. “You really need all these animals, Jenny Penny?”

She nodded silently, clutching her very favorite bear to her chest.

Luke looked into her eyes and nodded. “Okay, then. I don’t think we’ve got room for the wagon, but we’ll get these critters in somehow.”

“Would you like some coffee before you go? Tea?” Kristin tried not to sound desperate, though she was.

Luke smiled at her. “You know, I think we should just get on the road. That’ll be easiest.”

She blinked back tears as they all walked out to the car. Maybe she could change her mind…it wasn’t too late…

But Matt’s arm was firm around her waist, giving her the strength she lacked. She could do this. For the girls’ sake, she had to.

“Okay, Erin, Jenny. It’s time for you to head off on your adventure. Give me a hug.” She caught Erin from the back, kissed her cheeks and the top of her head. “Be good for your dad and Sarah. Help out, okay?”

“Okay.”

She allowed herself to pick Jenny up. “Say hello to Smokey the Bear for me, love.”

Jenny’s eyes widened. “I can see Smokey the Bear?”

“He lives in the mountains. You just might.”

“Oh, boy!”

And then the girls were strapped in, with Buster sitting between them. Kristin hugged Sarah, and Luke shook hands with Matt. The brand-new van backed out of the driveway, with all four occupants waving wildly as they drove away.

Kristin smiled and waved as long as the blue van was in sight. When it disappeared, she took one deep breath in the emptiness they’d left behind. Then she turned, buried her face in Matt’s chest and began to sob.