Читать книгу Алиса в Стране чудес / Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. Алиса в Зазеркалье / Through the Looking-glass, and What Alice Found There - Льюис Кэрролл, Льюїс Керролл, Furniss Harry - Страница 11

“You can’t imagine how glad I am to see you again, my dear!” said the Duchess when she and Alice walked off together.

Alice was very glad to see her so pleasant, and she thought to herself that perhaps only the pepper had made her so angry when they met in the kitchen.

“When I’M a Duchess,[136]” she said to herself, (but not in a very hopeful tone), “I won’t have any pepper in my kitchen AT ALL. Soup is good without it.”

She quite forgot about the Duchess, and was a little frightened when she heard her voice close to her ear. “You’re thinking about something, my dear, and you forget to talk.”

Alice did not like very much to be so close to the Duchess: first, because the Duchess was VERY ugly; and secondly, because she put her chin on Alice’s shoulder, and it was an uncomfortably sharp chin. However, she did not like to be rude, so she didn’t say anything.

“Are you wondering why I don’t put my arm round your waist,” the Duchess said after a pause: “the reason is, I’m afraid of your flamingo.”

“HE can bite,” Alice replied.

“Very true,” said the Duchess: “flamingoes and mustard both bite. And the moral of that is – ‘Birds of a feather flock together.[137]’”

“But mustard isn’t a bird,” Alice remarked.

“Right, as usual,” said the Duchess.

“It’s a mineral, I THINK,” said Alice.

“Of course it is,” said the Duchess, who agreed to everything that Alice said; “there’s a large mustard-mine near here. And the moral of that is – ”

“Oh, I know!” exclaimed Alice, who wasn’t listening, “it’s a vegetable. It doesn’t look like a vegetable, but it is.”

“I quite agree with you,” said the Duchess; “and the moral of that is – ”

But here, to Alice’s great surprise, the Duchess suddenly stopped talking and her arm began to tremble. Alice looked up and saw the Queen who was standing in front of them and frowning like a thunderstorm.

“A fine day, your Majesty!” the Duchess began in a low, weak voice.

“Now, you may choose,” shouted the Queen; “either you or your head must be off,[138] and immediately! Take your choice!”

The Duchess took her choice, and in a moment she was gone.[139]

“Let’s go on with the game,” the Queen said to Alice; Alice was too frightened to say a word, so she slowly followed her back to the croquet-ground.

Without the Queen the other guests were having a rest: however, when they saw her, they hurried back to the game, because the delay could cost them their lives.

The game continued but as the Queen often shouted her favourite: “Off with his head!” or “Off with her head!” very soon all the players, except the King, the Queen, and Alice, were under arrest.

Then the Queen said to Alice, “Have you seen the Mock Turtle[140] yet?”

“No,” said Alice. “I don’t even know what a Mock Turtle is.”

“It’s the thing what Mock Turtle Soup[141] is made from,” said the Queen.

“I never saw one, or heard of one,” said Alice.

“Come on, then,” said the Queen, “and he will tell you his history,”

As they walked off together, Alice heard the King say in a low voice, to the company, “You are all pardoned.[142]” “THAT’S a good thing!” she said to herself.

Very soon they came to a Gryphon.[143] “Take this young lady to see the Mock Turtle, and to hear his history. I must go back,” the Queen said and Alice was left alone with the Gryphon. She did not quite like the look of the creature, so she waited.

The Gryphon watched the Queen and when she was out of sight it chuckled. “What fun!” said the Gryphon.

“What IS the fun?” said Alice.

“Well, SHE,” said the Gryphon. “they never execute anybody, you know. Come on!”

When they saw the Mock Turtle in the distance, he was sitting sad and lonely and, as they came nearer, Alice heard that he was sighing as if his heart would break.[144] She pitied him deeply. “What is his sorrow?” she asked the Gryphon, and the Gryphon answered, “Well, he hasn’t got any sorrow, you know. Come on!”

So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at them with large eyes full of tears, but said nothing.

“This young lady,” said the Gryphon, “wants to know your history.”

“I’ll tell it to her,” said the Mock Turtle: “sit down, both of you, and don’t speak a word till I’ve finished.” So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes. Alice thought to herself, “I don’t see how he can EVEN finish, if he doesn’t begin.” But she waited patiently.

“Once,” said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, “I was a real Turtle.”

“When we were little,” the Mock Turtle went on after a very long pause, “we went to school in the sea. We had the best teachers – in fact, we went to school every day – ”

“I’VE been to a day-school, too,” said Alice. “We learned French and music as extras.[145]”

“And washing?” asked the Mock Turtle.

“Certainly not!” said Alice indignantly.

“Ah! Then your school wasn’t a really good school,” said the Mock Turtle in a tone of great relief.

“I couldn’t afford[146] to learn washing.” said the Mock Turtle with a sigh.

“Then what did you learn?” asked Alice.

“Well, there was Mystery,[147]” the Mock Turtle replied, “ – Mystery, ancient and modern, with Seaography.[148] An old master taught us Drawling, Stretching, and Fainting in Coils.[149]”

“What was THAT like?” said Alice.

“Well, I can’t show it you myself,” the Mock Turtle said: “I’m too stiff. And the Gryphon never learnt it.”

“Had no time,” said the Gryphon.

“And how many hours a day did you have lessons?” said Alice.

“Ten hours the first day,” said the Mock Turtle: “nine the next, and so on.”

“What a curious plan!” exclaimed Alice.

“That’s the reason why they’re called lessons,” the Gryphon remarked: “because they lessen[150] from day to day.”

This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought it over[151] a little before asking “Then was the eleventh day a holiday?”

“Of course it was,” said the Mock Turtle.

“And what was on the twelfth?” Alice went on eagerly.

“That’s enough about lessons,” the Gryphon interrupted, “tell her something about the games now.”