Читать книгу Modern Romance July 2015 Books 1-4 - Кэтти Уильямс, Maisey Yates, Cathy Williams - Страница 22

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

FEELING WRONG-FOOTED, Jessica stared into Loukas’s face—wondering how he had the nerve to laugh at a moment like this.

‘What’s so funny?’ she demanded.

Only now the smile had gone. It had died on his lips, leaving nothing in its place but a look of withering contempt.

‘You are,’ he said. ‘You’re priceless. Do you really think that I would have cold-bloodedly had sex with you, just to make a better photo? I’ve heard of naked ambition, but really! Just how far do you think my dedication to the company goes, Jess? Do you think I would have done the same if I’d only just met the model, or found her physically repulsive? That I’d be acting like some kind of male whore?’

She glared at him. How dared he try to turn this round? ‘You were talking to loads of different women at the party!’ she accused. ‘You know you were. Just not to me. But then, you’ve been hiding me away like a dirty secret, haven’t you? You acted like you barely knew me at the party. Like we were strangers!’

He frowned. ‘Because I didn’t think either of us were ready to go public right then. And yes, I was talking to other women there—but it doesn’t automatically follow that I was planning on having sex with them.’

Her eyes bored into his. ‘Not even Maya?’ she accused.

‘Maya?’ he echoed blankly, until his face cleared. ‘Oh, Maya. You mean my ex-lover? Why, would you have had me blank her and be rude to her by ignoring her? That isn’t the kind of behaviour I’d expect from a classy lady like you, Jess.’

His sarcasm washed over her and she glared at him. ‘You hired me for all kinds of reasons,’ she bit out. ‘But I got the distinct impression that the main one was because you wanted to get even with me. That you’d never quite forgiven me for everything that happened before. And please don’t try and make out I’m a fool, Loukas—or that I imagined it. You did. You know you did.’

There was a pause before he answered and then he sucked in a breath and nodded his head slowly. ‘At the beginning, maybe I did,’ he said. ‘But things change, Jess—only you seem to be blind to them. You only ever see the shallow stuff—you never dare scratch beneath the surface, do you? When we reconnected again after all those years I agree that initially I felt a mixture of anger and lust. And if you really want the truth, I thought that getting you out of my system was going to be simple.’

‘By sleeping with me?’ she demanded.

‘Neh. By sleeping with you.’ He gave a cynical laugh. ‘Actually, sleeping had nothing to do with it. I wanted you wide awake and very present. I wanted to do something that I’d been unable to forget and that was to have sex with you again. But you fought me all the way. You didn’t just fall into my arms, even though I knew you wanted to. You forced me to get to know you again and to realise—’

‘Realise what?’

‘It doesn’t matter.’ He shook his head and his voice had grown cold now—as cold as the icy glint from his eyes. ‘None of it does. Doesn’t matter that I indulged you—’

‘Indulged me?’

‘Neh. I treated you with kid gloves,’ he gritted out. ‘I was cautious and careful. I put my business on hold and came to live with you here because I know you don’t like London, but it still wasn’t enough, was it? Because nothing is ever enough for you, Jess. You couldn’t wait to think the worst of me—to give you a reason not to trust me. A reason to send me away and lock yourself away again—with all your beauty and your warmth hidden behind the frozen front you present to the world.’

‘Loukas—’

‘No!’ he flared impatiently. ‘I don’t intend to spend my life tiptoeing around you, while you imagine the worst. Believe what you want to believe, because I’m done with this. And I’m done with you.’

His tone was harsh and Jessica stared at him, wondering what he was doing, then realised he was tugging his car keys from the pocket of his jacket and preparing to leave.

He was preparing to leave, only this time the look on his face told her he would never come back.

‘Loukas,’ she said again, fingertips flying to her mouth in horror. But her gasped word didn’t stop him or make his stony face relax. He was opening the front door and the chill March wind was whistling through the door as he walked out, sending the temperature plummeting.

Frozen, he’d called her, and she felt frozen. Frozen enough to feel as if she were encased in ice when she heard a door slam and the sound of an engine firing into life. She turned her head to see the car bumping over the grass onto the unmade road, with Loukas’s stony profile staring straight ahead.

He was going.

He was going.

‘Loukas!’ She ran outside and the cry was torn from her throat as she screamed it into the wind, but if he heard her, he didn’t stop. And if he saw her that made no difference either, because the car continued to move forward. Waving her arms in the air, she started to run after it. To run as she hadn’t run in years. It was like running across the court for a ball she knew she would never reach, only...

The last time that had happened she had ruptured her cruciate ligament and ended her career with a sickening snap, but this time she couldn’t move as fast as her teenage self and her footsteps slowed to a stumbled halt. This time all that she had ruptured was her heart, yet somehow the pain seemed just as intense.

Sinking to her knees on the damp ground, she buried her face in her hands and began to cry, great sobs welling up from somewhere deep inside her chest until they erupted into a raw howl of pain. She wept at her own stupidity and timidity—at her lack of courage at going after something she realised now was irreplaceable. She could have had him—the only man she had ever cared about—but she’d been too proud and too stupid and too scared to give it a go. Too afraid of being hurt to take a risk, when everyone knew that love never came without some element of risk.

Hot tears dripped through her frozen fingers, drying instantly in the chill wind, and as she began to shiver she knew she couldn’t stay there for ever. Her teeth chattering, she rose slowly to her feet, blinking away tears as she stared into the distance and saw the dark shape of a distinctive car parked on the clifftop and her heart missed a beat.

Loukas’s car.

She blinked again as she realised that her eyes weren’t playing tricks on her, but that it was definitely his car and he hadn’t gone.

He hadn’t gone.

With stumbling steps she began to run—expecting at any moment to see it disappear into the distance in a swift acceleration of power. But it didn’t and her stride became longer—her panting breath making clouds of vapour in the chill air as she began to make silent pleas in her head. Please don’t go. Please just give me one more chance and I’ll never let you down again.

Out of breath, she reached the car at last. He was sitting perfectly still, staring straight ahead until she began to rap on the window and then he turned his head to look at her. His black eyes were flinty and his dark features were unreadable, but these days such a look was rare. She remembered the night when she’d been exhausted and wrung out in Venice. When he’d put her to bed and fed her melted cheese. When he’d made her feel safe and cherished as well as desired, and her heart swelled with an immense feeling of love and longing.

‘Don’t go,’ she mouthed, through the glass. ‘Please.’

He didn’t say a word as he took the key from the ignition and climbed out of the car. He stared down at her for a long moment and then the flicker of a smile appeared on his lips.

‘I wasn’t,’ he said, ‘planning on going anywhere. I just needed time to cool down, before I said something I might afterwards regret.’

‘Oh, Loukas,’ she said, her words still muffled from all the crying she’d done.

But as Loukas looked at her he knew it had been more than that. He’d wanted to see if she would come after him, and she had. He’d wanted to show her that he had staying power. He needed her to know that she could trust him, because without that there could be no real love. And he knew he really couldn’t hold back any longer.

‘Because what I really want to say is that I love you, Jess,’ he said simply. ‘I love you. Completely, absolutely and enduringly.’

‘Oh, Loukas,’ she said as she flung her arms around his neck and pressed her cold face to his. ‘I feel exactly the same about you. I love you so much, and I’ve made such a mess of showing you.’

‘Then show me,’ he said fiercely. ‘Show me now.’ And when she lifted her face to his, her eyes were very bright as he brushed his lips over hers.

The kiss deepened. He kissed her until they were both breathless and when he pulled away they were smiling—as if they’d just allowed themselves to see something which had been there all the time. He put her into the car and snapped her seat belt closed and when he’d parked outside her cottage, he took her hand and led her inside. He made coffee and smoothed the hair from her eyes and it was only when she was sitting snuggled up against him on the sofa that he looked down at her gravely.

‘But there are a few things we need to get cleared up before we go any further.’

‘Mmm?’ she said dreamily, her head resting against his shoulder.

‘Just for the record—I know you aren’t a city girl,’ he said. ‘And you don’t have to be, because all I want to do is to marry you and make a home with you. Where that home will be is entirely up to you.’

‘Loukas—’

‘No, Jess,’ he said. ‘Hear me out. I need you to know that I’m not saying any of this in reaction to what has just happened. I need you to know that I’ve been thinking about this and have wanted it for a long while.’

She opened her eyes wide. ‘You have?’

‘I have. When I was in London I talked to my brother about it, in a way I’ve never talked to anyone.’ He smiled. ‘Except maybe you. I told him that I was in love with you but that I thought you were scared because you kept pushing me away every time I tried to get closer.’

She sniffed again. ‘And what did he say?’

‘He said that deep down most people are scared of love, because they recognise it has the power to hurt them like nothing else can. And that there are no guarantees in life.’

‘You mean that nothing is certain?’

‘Absolutely nothing,’ he agreed, and now she could see the pain in his own eyes. ‘But we both know how important it is to succeed at this. We’ve both had things happen which make it hard for us to believe it ever can, but I know it can. I think we both want this relationship to work more than we’ve ever wanted trophies, or money in the bank, or houses and cars.’ His voice deepened. ‘I know I do.’

‘So do I,’ she said in a squeaky voice which sounded perilously close to more tears.

‘Because at the end of the day, love is the only thing which matters, and it is important that we mark that love.’ He reached into his pocket and pulled out a familiarly coloured magenta box, tied with the distinctive Lulu ribbon. ‘Which is why I want to ask you to be my wife.’

She swallowed. ‘You’ve already bought me a ring?’

His face was grave. ‘Well, I had the choice of some of the world’s finest jewels.’

He flipped open the box and Jessica blinked. She had been expecting to be dazzled by diamonds, but all that lay on the indigo velvet was a small, metal ring-pull—the type you found on a can of cola.

She looked at him in surprise, with the first flicker of amusement tugging at her lips. ‘And this is my engagement ring?’

He shrugged. ‘Everything seemed such a cliché. Aquamarine to match your eyes, or diamonds for their cold and glittering beauty? With a whole empire at my disposal I was spoilt for choice—and I gather that, these days, the trend is to let women choose what they really, really want.’

‘Put it on,’ she said fiercely, and as he slid the worthless piece of metal onto her finger she saw that it was trembling. And she thought that being with Loukas Sarantos made a mockery of the steady hands which had once been her trademark. But she was smiling as she cupped his face in her hands and pressed her own very close.

‘I don’t want your diamonds,’ she whispered. ‘You’re the only thing I really, really want. Your love and your commitment. They are more precious to me than all the jewels in the world, and I will treasure them and keep them close to my heart. Because I want you to know that I love you, Loukas Sarantos. I always have and I always will. A diamond isn’t for ever. Love is.’