Читать книгу ALWAYS IS FOREVER - Margaret Hawley - Страница 8

Autumn was in the air as I sat in the front porch swing listening to the sounds of the night–little chirping noises made by the few remaining crickets rubbing their legs together, an occasional twitter of a bird snugging into a comfortable position on a branch. A street light glowed through winding trumpet vines as they strove to reach the top of a trellis enclosing one end of the porch. Leaves of the vine danced in the breeze, creating a pattern of shadows flittering on the porch wall. The strong fragrance of chrysanthemums flourishing near the porch drifted toward me. Turning my head toward the source of the fragrance, I noticed the silhouette of someone striding briskly down the sidewalk. Something about the figure was familiar when, with a bouncy gate, it turned into my walk and approached the porch. I recognized Brian O’Connor, a boy from my class at school, who had gone to a Soapbox Derby the day before with his girlfriend along with me and a boy I occasionally dated. After the Derby we stopped at a Miniature Golf Course to try our hand at putting the little white ball into holes placed in various places on the course. How it happened, I am not sure, but Brian and I ended several holes behind his girlfriend and my date. We laughed and kidded around and had a great time back there by ourselves. There was some kind of current between us, but after the game we got in the car to go home, he and his girlfriend in the back, me and my date in the front, and we had no further contact. However, I found myself thinking about Brian all the way home, even after I had gone to bed.

I stepped out from the shadows of the vines just as Brian reached the steps of the porch. “Hi, Brian. What are you doing down this way tonight?”

“Oh, I was up at the pool hall shooting pool with some of the guys, and I kept thinking that the same sidewalk that runs in front of the pool hall probably runs in front of your house. On the spur of the moment, I laid down my pool cue and came to make sure it was true,” Brian chuckled, as he ambled up the walk, silhouetted by the glowing streetlight behind him.

“Well, you proved yourself right. I’m glad you decided to investigate.”

“What have you been doing, Marcie? Are you home alone tonight?”

“Yes, I’m alone. I was just sitting here in the swing thinking about yesterday.” I could have added ‘and you,’ but I didn’t. “That was a lot of fun, wasn’t it?”

“It sure was. I didn’t know you were such a great golfer.”

“Oh, yes, I’m really good. Is that why I had the lowest score of the group and why we brought up the rear all the time? It took me forever to get the ball in that clown’s mouth on the last hole. Some of the other holes were pretty difficult as well. You weren’t exactly tearing up the course either, if I remember correctly. We must have been five holes behind the others.”

“Oh, I felt sorry for you back there all alone, so I deliberately missed some holes so I could stay back and keep you company.”

“Sure you did,” I laughed, wondering if there was any truth to Brian’s statement.

“Do you want to walk uptown to the Snack Shop? It’s a beautiful night, and we could count the stars in the sky on our way.” Brian looked up at the sky to see if the stars were visible.

“We can’t see the stars, Brian. There are too many street lights on this street.”

“I’ll throw rocks at them and break the bulbs so you cansee the stars.” Brian swung his arm and threw an imaginary rock into the air.

“It looks like you have a pretty good throwing arm. You just might be able to hit those street lights. Let me feel that muscle.” I put my hand on his arm and rubbed it a little bit. As I did so, a warm sensation shot through me. We looked at each other; both were reluctant to look away. Basking in the warmth that my touch had stirred within us, we stood there a moment.

Walking along in silence the rest of the way, the lighter mood that existed earlier was replaced by a strange yet pleasant feeling of closeness between us.

How can this be?I asked myself silently. Brian has been dating Beverly for several months. What is he doing here with me, and why do I feel that we belong together like this?

When we reached the Snack Shop, we found there was no one in there except the waitress. It was almost as though no one else in the whole world existed but the two of us.

Brian ordered two cherry cokes, not asking me what I wanted. He seemed to know without asking. Sipping our cokes through the straws, our eyes met. There passed between us that wonderful something that males and females have experienced for eons.

“I like being here with you, Marcie. It feels right.” He reached over and held my hand as he gazed into my eyes that I knew were brimming with feeling.

“It feels right to me too, Brian, but what about Beverly? You’ve been dating her for a while now. I’m sure she wouldn’t want you here with me.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore to me what Beverly wants. Right now you are all that I care about.”

We finished our cokes, hurrying for some reason. Maybe he is a little afraid Beverly or her friends might come in, regardless of what he had said, I thought. Yet, he would not have brought me here if he cared about that.

“Shall we leave? We can start looking for those stars.” He paid the bill, and we rushed out.

“The street lights are still burning, but maybe if we squint our eyes and block out the lights we will be able to see the stars.” I was trying to bring back the light mood that had existed between us before.

“You’re right, the lights are still burning, but I don’t think squinting our eyes will solve the problem. Neither will throwing rocks at the lights because I might get caught and be thrown into jail. Then I wouldn’t be free to ask you to go out with me Friday night.”

“But you promised I would see the stars,” I teased.

“”I decided rather than take any chances, we’d walk down a street that’s darker so that we could see those stars” Brian led me toward a different street.

“Now, look at the sky a little above the horizon facing north. There you will see the Big Dipper. Follow the two stars up along the right edge of the Dipper and you’ll find that they point to the North Star. The North Star is in the handle of the Little Dipper. See it? It’s a stationary star around which all of the others revolve. If you’re ever lost, you can locate the North Star and then you’ll know your directions, providing it’s a clear night.”

“Gee, that’s quite a lesson in astronomy. I’m impressed. I’ll remember that if I’m ever lost. However, I’d rather have you along to show me the way.”

“If you’re ever lost, I hope I will be along. What a great time we could have lost in the woods! I could shoot bears and rabbits for you to cook.” Brian laughed, pointing an imaginary gun.

“Where would you get a gun, or would you just happen to have one in your back pocket?” I asked, with the return of an air of lightness.

“Heck, no. I’d shoot them with the bow and arrow that I”ll make out of material that I find in the woods. And you’ll cook those animals with fire you make by rubbing two sticks together.”

“Hey, it sounds like you and I just might survive if we are lost. However, for now, my house is over there.” I grabbed Brian’s hand, and we broke into a run, reaching the yard out of breath and panting.

“Do you have to leave right away?” I didn’t want him to leave; it felt so good being with him.

“No, Mom and Dad will be out until late, but I did promise them I would be home by 10 since we have school tomorrow.”

“Let’s go in the backyard. There’s a seat under an old wagon wheel my mother set on a post. Grape vines grow over the wheel, which makes a cozy little nook.”

We walked around the house. I noticed I was still holding Brian’s hand, and I liked the way this made me feel. We came to the bench, but there was only room for one. Brian sat down and pulled me onto his lap.

The night sounds were all around, and a slight breeze stirred my hair. Neither of us had spoken, but each felt a strange current passing between us. I looked at Brian, and suddenly my lips met his in a kiss that surprised us both. Did Brian pull me to him or did I bend my head down? All we knew was that our lips were together and our young bodies were on fire with sensations never felt before by either of us. Our hearts were pounding and our faces were flushed. Deep inside us was a longing we did not understand–adult feelings experienced between a fifteen-year-old boy and girl. Without realizing what was happening, Brian and I were crossing a threshold over which we could never cross back. Never again would the joys of childhood be as intense as before. The emotions that had surfaced as we pressed our bodies close would lead us down a bath lovers have traversed since the beginning of time, a path that changes lives forever.

#

Because of the loss of my father and my mother’s dependence on me, I was mature for my age and carried with me a sense of responsibility for my family. Unlike Brian, I did not have a care-free attitude; rather, I felt I had a burden on my young shoulders, although I willingly carried it. I babysat for several families around town to earn money to buy clothes if I wanted anything but hand-me-downs from my cousins and to buy the extras my mother could not provide. I expected very little from anyone.

Brian, on the other hand, was an only child, raised by doting parents. His father was a hard-working man, and his mother a busy homemaker. She was always at home to get the meals or just to talk if Brian felt the need. He looked a lot like his mother, each having hazel brown eyes, full lips and a ready smile. Because of his friendly disposition and cheerfulness, his classmates were drawn to him, making him a leader in his class and a very popular boy.

Although Brian’s family luxuries were somewhat limited, he didn’t wear hand-me-downs like I did. His clothes were always of the latest style, and he was usually given anything he wanted. He was a dashing figure–all six feet of him–with broad shoulders, slim hips and his hair worn in a crew cut like all the teenage boys were wearing. He bounced a little as he walked along with what looked like not a care in the world. Responsibility had not been placed upon his young shoulders.

The morning after I had gone to the Snack Shop with Brian, I awoke with a feeling of excitement. For a moment I was unable to explain the strange and wonderful feeling inside me as I slowly stretched under my warm sheets. Then I remembered the night before. My best friend, Diana, had often talked about being on “Cloud 9.” Now I knew what that meant. I actually felt like I had floated into the house after Brian left–after that one kiss. The memory of his lips on mine lingered as I lay in bed going over every detail of the night before. I felt like a newly opened flower spreading its petals to receive the rays of the sun. I was blossoming into a young woman, open to the warmth of love; my world would never be the same. Time was in control, and the joys and heartaches that come with time must be dealt with.

My mind was full of memories of the night before as I lay in my bed going over every detail. There was a warmth within my chest I had never felt before I met Brian. Everything about me seemed different this morning. The sunshine looked brighter; the birds’ singing sounded sweeter. My thoughts were on Brian as I dressed. The plaid skirt I chose slid easily over my slim hips. Adding a soft blue sweater that matched my blue eyes, I felt confident I would look my best when I saw Brian at school. Was he thinking about me as he dressed? Did he feel all of these strange and wonderful feelings?

After hurriedly eating breakfast and calling a quick good-by to my mother, I raced out the door and up the sidewalk to school. Although anxious to get there, I slowed down so that I didn’t arrive breathless with my hair in disarray.

Nearing the top of the hill that led to the front door of the school, I turned my head to look down the street and saw Brian walking with his usual bounce in my direction. For an instant I was unable to get my breath. My heart seemed to jump in my chest. Nothing and no one had ever affected me like this before. Seeing Brian’s friendly smile as he drew near, I thought I would burst with joy.

“Hi, Marcie. We’ll have to meet on the corner like this more often.” Brian’s eyes had a twinkle in them; he appeared happy to see me this morning. “We can walk inside together. Maybe everyone will get the idea that you are my girl now. That’s true, isn’t it?” I was not sure what to say. Of course it was true. Feeling as I did, I belonged to Brian heart and soul.

“Brian, I’m concerned about Beverly. What are she and her friends going to think when they see us?”

“Last night when I got home I called Beverly. I knew after our evening together and our kiss that it was over between Beverly and me. She seemed to take it nicely. We have never had anything serious going anyway. We just went to the school dances and ball games and a movie once in a while. Anyway, I don’t care what anyone thinks. You are the one I want, and I have you, right?”

I hesitated a bit, not sure what I should say. “I guess that’s right.” I didn’t look Brian in the eyes when I answered. I wasn’t sure how to handle the feelings I was experiencing, feelings I had never felt before.

“You guess? Aren’t you sure how you feel this morning, Marcie?”

“I’m sure,” I replied timidly, not wanting all those wonderful feelings to be on open display, not even for Brian.

“And how doyou feel, Marcie?”

I was just about to answer when my friend, Diana, came up behind me.

“Well, why are you two so sober-faced on such a beautiful morning?” Not waiting for an answer, she went on, “Marcie, did you get the answers to those History questions I talked to you about on the phone last night?”

“Well, yes, I have them–” I began.

“I have to have them right now because the test is first hour. Can you go with me to study hall so I can copy them down?”

“Okay. There’s not a lot of time before the bell rings.” I looked at Brian and back at Diana. “I’ll talk to you later, Brian. Maybe I’ll see you in the cafeteria.” Giving Brian a lingering glance, I hurried off with Diana.

“What were you two talking about so seriously when I came up?” Diana suspected something major was going on between us by the look on my face.

“Oh, Diana, something wonderful happened to me last night! Brian came over, and we walked up to the Snack Shop. A strange and exciting feeling developed between us. He even kissed me, and this morning he told me he had called Beverly last night and broke up with her.”

“Wow, that’s terrific, Marcie. Has he asked you out?”

“Yes, he asked me out for Friday night. I can’t believe this is happening. Brian is only the cutest boy in our class, a football and basketball star, and he could have any girl he wanted. But he wants me! He wants me!”

“Well, listen, come off Cloud 9 and give me those answers. We have to hurry.”

“Okay. I have sure found out what you mean by Cloud 9.”