Читать книгу Women are not unicorns - Маргарита Резник - Страница 8

If we take the chronology, then after unrequited love for the man of my romance, I experienced my first painful breakup. If you look at life in general, then I had at least three of these.

So, let's start with the debut. It’s, as you know, going out into the world for the first time and finding yourself dirty, or naked. As it happens in a dream. you walk like this through the snow in only a sweater, no boots, no socks, and what’s worse is that you don’t even have panties. Such an under-exhibitionist.

Who had this? Yeah, I see hands raised, there are a lot of us.

So, finding yourself in love for the first time after a breakup is cruel.

The second and third time you get more or less used to it.

But the first time you completely lose your head. You try to get him back, call, write, follow him around, ask for forgiveness, have sex just so that he doesn’t do this with anyone else but you, get angry with him, complain to your friends about what a scoundrel he is.

But from the perspective of my current situation, I could just as diligently take up sports, dancing, drawing, going to a theater group, doing what I was called to do.

I don’t argue that I may also have a vocation for the return of runaway guys, but considering that now I have a beloved husband, and they were left behind, then all this was pointless.

So, how do you know if a man is worth the effort, tears and change?

Well, I developed a set of criteria for getting my ex-boyfriends back, and I won't do it again.

First of all, they were offended by me. I pointed out their shortcomings to them more often than I spoke words at all. I’m exaggerating, of course, but something always irritated me about them. Either he called me a fool, then he called me too fat, too unkempt, rude, angry, boorish, unsexy, stupid, greedy, poor, lazy, just not the same.

Therefore, at first I abandoned them myself, trying to get them to return me. Then they agreed with my decision and really broke off the relationship.

Something like that:

– I'm leaving.

– Sorry.

– No, I decided.

A day, two, a month, in different ways. I start to get bored, the hysteria passes, the anger settles. And it seemed like he wasn't that bad. I want everything back. I guess I love him. He is definitely my destiny, it's time to call him.

If I had immediately realized that a feeling of guilt was pushing me to return them, and that this same feeling would later make me weaker in relation to my ambitions, ruin my dreams and my individuality, then I would not have hesitated.

Some men are worth pursuing, but not men.

Secondly, they were in love with me at the beginning of our relationship. They made it clear that they were hooked on me, that I was the one they not only wanted, but loved. This is any kind of romance. You won't miss this. It's hard not to notice. Sings songs when he sees you, beams with happiness. Finds out from your friends everything you think and feel. He constantly wants to be around and makes appointments. Gives flowers, gifts, takes you to the cinema, tries to surprise you even after you have had intimacy.

Openly declares love.

It may not be all together, but only a couple of points that still determine his affection for you.

If I knew that I, in principle, deserved love, I would not think that he was the only one who would love me. There will be others. I wouldn’t worry that if I broke up with the guy who loved me, I’d meet someone better. Someone not only in love, but also in line with my preferences.

The guys will now say: “Well, a priori we don’t have a chance. All of you girls are the same, you have a list of traits of an ideal man, and here we are suffering, trying to look after you. Why try to please you if it’s still unrealistic?”

Guys won't read this book, so I won't answer the imaginary question.

Third. He really wasn't the same.

Dear representatives of the stronger sex, if you still found this reading worthy of your attention, then here is the answer.

You can be perfect and still not suit your sweetheart. It's not about you or us. There's just no light. There was no tension… in the clitoris.

Rough? Yes. But I don’t know a better criterion than to show this to you colorfully, using an example close to your anatomy.

A girl shouldn't just agree to your presence and advances. She must want you at least a little.

You know the joke. How to tell if a girl likes a guy? Let her throw her panties up in the air after the date. Stuck to the ceiling – I liked it.

I have my own parameters: a guy must be self-sufficient, daring, cheerful, witty, then handsome, smelling delicious, rich and generous, be successful with women, and show me at least the slightest signs of attention.

If your girlfriend doesn't want you, then she doesn't love you.

This is all nonsense that: “a woman loves with her ears, the main thing for her is support and protection, the main thing is to respect and be gentle, and sex comes later.” A woman is the same as a man, only the penis is too small. She also wants the man she loves. If he doesn’t want to, then he doesn’t love her anymore.

This doesn't mean he's cheating. We can live perfectly well without men for years. She just doesn’t want this particular husband, which means she doesn’t love him. She lives with him for some benefit. The same self-affirmation, for example.

“What will my friends think if I’m left alone?” “What will I live on if he leaves?” “I’ve never lived alone, I’m afraid of loneliness” and so on.

Therefore, dear men, if the woman you love has a headache, is tired, and has any other excuse to refuse sex, then she no longer wants you, and therefore no longer loves you. Maybe he loves as a loved one, a friend, but not as a husband.

If you leave, then perhaps she will come to her senses, begin to want you and love you again, but if you yourself have not done anything to increase her libido in relation to you, then, alas, everything will happen again.

You should change. You should find out what makes her sexually aroused when she sees you, what makes her clitoris erect. And be strong to hear the truth from her. The truth will be tough.

If this woman is dear to you, then do as she asks. Well, in the end, if you lose a couple of kilograms, tone your gray hair, treat tooth decay, take a comedy or female seduction course, change your job to earn more, then your life will be easier.

If I had known this then, I would not have reacted to any of them at all, I would have simply continued to develop calmly and waited for my husband. If I didn't meet, I wouldn't waste my time.

They say sex is good for health. What nonsense. Orgasm is necessary for health. Not sex. A woman can live and develop well by masturbating periodically, and wait for a man who can please her, and not have sex with someone whom your parents or girlfriends match you with with the words “isn’t it time for you to get married?”, “I want grandchildren,” “you are so You’ll become an old maid.”

There is another side to the issue. There are nymphomaniacs, or girls with low IQ, their libido is usually increased. They party, drink a lot, don't have much success in life, but love to have sex.

Men, if you are still reading my work, then my advice to you is, do not fall for such people. They will cheat on you, their wet panties won't tell you anything. This treacherous underwear will destroy you.

So, girls, I'll get back to you.

My first experience of a painful breakup was with Vasya, a DJ from my town. A year younger than me, but stronger and more mature in appearance. He fell in love so much that for two weeks after I left him he didn’t want to give up. He asked my friend to help, he looked for a meeting with me, called me at home.

I didn't want to meet him then. During one of our meetings, I clung to his words and played offended. Then I asked my mother to tell him that I was not at home. And finally, I persuaded my friend to tell him that I met someone else on the way home that day and fell in love.

He fell behind.

About a month later, I found out that he was already dating someone else, older and more beautiful than me. I saw them together and…

We have gradually arrived at the fourth criterion.

Fourthly. All these guys got another girl after the breakup, which made me jealous. Oh, a wonderful feeling that propels us to incredible accomplishments, clouds our minds and drags us into the abyss of recklessness. It has an effect until you get yours and defeat your opponent.

If I had understood the deplorability of the situation then, I would have given up everything at once.

How absurd it is to fight another girl for your piece of the pie. There are a lot of cakes from famous chefs around, and I was furious over a stale, moldy pie with viburnum.

Where is this guy now? I sometimes look at my exes on social networks; he can’t be called happy. A divorced guy older than his years, who still doesn’t watch his weight well, drinks liters of beer, and flirts with women. Everything is the same as before, before me.

Am I glad that I didn’t manage to get him back then? Undoubtedly.

She suffered a lot. I cried at night. I dragged myself to the club during his shifts with my friends to shine. I agreed to have sex when he was drinking too much and dragging me along. I went to try to enter not only law school, but also medicine, to prove to him that he was not the only one who wanted to become a doctor. He never did. I studied for seven fucking years.

Sorry. I didn’t want to swear, but how we still love to drive ourselves into traps.

It’s good that she left to study in another city, we never saw each other again. Time helped me recover from the fixed idea and reconsider my life guidelines.

I never loved him, it was just a thirst to defeat my rival.

Do you know why I say so confidently?

Right! You learn quickly.

Because I never wanted him. The panties, so to speak, did not stick to the ceiling.