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10. American Riviera: Happy Birthday, Vika!

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My first acquaintance with Santa Barbara happened long before I met Daniel.


– To tell the truth, guys, I was greatly impressed by this unique Californian city on my first visit to the United States. And when I relocated to California to my future husband… Look out guys, – I addressed Nick and Stacy, – here he is, sitting in front of you!


I clapped happy Dan on the shoulder.


– Yes Vika, we’ve known this lucky guy for ages. Your awful American husband, – Nick burst into laughter. – So, when I came to Dan to California, of course I had a great wish to go to Santa Barbara over again. – I continued. – That city is a real paradise. Have you ever heard about the American soap-opera “Santa Barbara”?

– Yes, of course. – Stacy replied. – It was broadcasted in the US sometime in the mid-eighties. Do you remember, Nick?

– Yes, I do. I do, I do. It was something for our grandmothers.

– And not just for them, – Stacy objected to her husband. – I watched it from time to time!

– Since 90’s that soap-opera was broadcasted in Russia for more than ten years. Sometimes I watched it too, – I smiled, – the most of Russians haven’t got the slightest idea about the life in America that time. And as “Santa Barbara” was one of the first American soap-operas on Russian TV, it was very popular among people of all ages.

– Hmm, – Nick and Stacy were surprised.

– Yes, – I confirmed. – You can’t judge the life in America or any other country just on a soap-opera, but I can tell you, guys, that after watching it, a lot of people in Russia had a dream to go to Santa Barbara one day. And I was not exception from them.

– And what do you like most in Santa Barbara, Vika? – Nick asked.

– Everything or almost everything what I could see, – I answered him at once. – Its beautiful beaches, majestic mountains, colorful culture, Spanish architecture.

– Yea. Whether you enjoy being lazy on the beach, or water sports, or hiking, or culture, or a great night-life, Santa Barbara is something for you. – Nick agreed. – I love the excellent restaurants, great dining areas and wineries. And its Mediterranean climate. It’s the American Riviera. Do you know? – Nick exclaimed.

– Yes, it’s because of its geography and similar climate to that of French and Italian Riviera, – I answered.

– I suggested Stacy to buy a beach house there so many times. – Nick gave his wife a disapproving look.

– Please dear, stop, forget. I know it’s a great place to live in, but money… – Stacy shrugged her shoulders and asked me. – Vika, you have been to France and Italy, haven’t you? Dan told you travelled a lot.

– I have. And Santa Barbara reminds me of Europe. It’s true that in America one can find a piece from any part of the world. So, one early morning my husband woke me up by singing “Happy Birthday to You!”

– Happy Birthday, dear Vika! Happy B-day to You! Wake up, wake up! Did I promise to celebrate? So, today we are going to Santa Barbara, dear. My mom allowed me to rent her car for the whole day. Pontiac is at our disposal!


And in a couple of hours we were almost there: the last miles on US101.


– Look up, guys, – Dan exclaimed while driving. – Santa Barbara’s Moreton Bay Fig tree!


To tell the truth, I was highly impressed by seeing that tree from the car. At last I was finally woken up.


– Is that gigantic fig tree, the one that grew up from suddenly thrown seed 130 years ago?

– Exactly. Someone brought that seed from Australia. – Daniel confirmed.

– And I‘ve read that Moreton Big Fig has one of the largest total shaded areas of any tree in North America. – Slava also woke up.

– Yes. 20,000 square feet of shaded areas, guys; believe or not, but it’s the fact. We, little boys, had a dream to re-count the quantity of those square feet, but no one could do that. – Dan laughed and then seriously said, addressing to me. – We won’t stop here now, ok? We’ll go straight to State Street. Is it okay?

– Sure, – I agreed as I remembered that at any moment Miriam could call Daniel to demand to return her favorite Pontiac.

– Mom has already called, – Dan said as if he took the words right out of my mouth. – I missed her phone calls, but she left several voice messages. As soon as we park a car we’ll listen to them.

My Dear Bitch. V#2 An Unwelcome Person

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