Читать книгу The Anxiety of Kalix the Werewolf - Martin Millar - Страница 21
ОглавлениеKalix yawned. She’d had only a few hours’ sleep before Dominil had woken her. She looked down at the clouds below.
“I didn’t know we’d be above the clouds.”
Kalix had never flown before. She was nervous, but Dominil’s presence was calming. Besides, she had more to worry about than a flight to Inverness.
“Do you know the way once we get to the airport?” asked Kalix.
“I’ll find it. The rental car has GPS, I checked.”
Kalix nodded. According to Dominil, they’d still have some hours of driving after reaching Inverness. It was the closest airport to Minerva’s mountaintop, but Minerva’s retreat was in a very isolated spot.
“I wonder what happened to Decembrius?”
Last night Dominil had slept in Kalix’s room. Wakening early in the morning, they’d found the twins passed out on the couch downstairs, with no sign of anyone else.
“Do you think he might have gone out at night?”
“As a werewolf?” said Dominil. “Unlikely. How badly did you insult him?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t mean to insult him at all. But he was hinting about sleeping with me. I said I had to get up early in the morning.” Kalix pursed her lips. “I suppose that does sound like an insult.”
Kalix gazed down at the clouds again. She found it amusing to be flying above them.
“Do you think I should have slept with him?”
“I have no opinion,” said Dominil.
Dominil fell silent. Kalix knew her cousin didn’t want to talk, but found it difficult to remain quiet.
“I’m nervous. Not about flying. About . . . you know, Minerva.”
“I am a little discomfited too,” said Dominil. “But Minerva says she can help us end our addiction, and lessen the withdrawal symptoms. It’s worth trying. We both know we’ve got to stop taking laudanum.”
Kalix stared at the back of the seat in front of her. She wasn’t looking forward to the next few days. Though she was only eighteen, Kalix had been addicted to the opiate for years. Her addiction was widely known throughout the clan, and was a large part of the reason for her disgrace. Kalix’s mother burned with shame if ever the topic was raised. Kalix’s brother Markus and her sister Thrix regarded her addiction with contempt. Throughout history, a few werewolves had exhibited a peculiar weakness for the drug. Becoming addicted to it was regarded as extremely shameful. Anything Kalix did was attributed either to her craziness or her drug addiction; as far as the clan was concerned, the addiction was worse.
Dominil’s addiction was secret: Kalix was the only person who knew. Dominil had managed to keep it under control. Nonetheless, she was addicted. For months, she and Kalix had been traveling to Merchant MacDoig’s shop in East London to purchase laudanum, and paying heavily for it. The Merchant knew he had a captive market and kept his prices high. This was a drain on Dominil’s limited resources, and was worse for Kalix. There had been plenty of occasions in the past when she’d stolen to support her habit. Recently, she’d found herself tempted to steal from her flatmates, and while she had resisted the urge, it was this that had made her agree to Dominil’s suggestion of appealing to Minerva for help.
It annoyed Dominil that she was so dependent on the opiate. Dominil had little empathy with the world, and a very powerful intellect that could not always be satisfied by her computer work, or her love of history. There were times when she was dreadfully, numbingly bored. During one such time she’d taken laudanum. It had warmed her inside and made her forget her boredom. It hadn’t taken long to become addicted. Now she needed the substance, though the warmth it had once given her had mostly faded.
“Do you think it will hurt?” asked Kalix.
“Hurt? I shouldn’t think so. Minerva isn’t going to punish us.”
“Is she going to work some spell?” said Kalix hopefully. Perhaps Minerva could easily make them better with magic.
“I’m not certain,” admitted Dominil. “When I talked to her on the phone, she mentioned a herbal treatment to ease the withdrawal. But I’m sure we’ll suffer for a while till it clears out of our systems.”
“I wish she’d just use magic,” said Kalix gloomily.
“By reputation and by my observation, you are very resistant to magic,” Dominil pointed out. “Possibly because of your unusual birth.”
“I hate my unusual birth,” moaned Kalix and sank into her small chair. The closer they came to their destination, the more nervous she was becoming. Her head drooped and she stared at her boots.
“I’m scared of this.”
“There is no need for fear,” said Dominil. Kalix didn’t think she sounded quite as confident as usual.
Inside their hand luggage, they each carried a bottle of laudanum. A brown, antique-looking bottle, as supplied by Merchant MacDoig. Minerva had advised them to keep taking their normal dose until they reached her retreat. Dominil had kept on carefully measuring out the amount she needed each day. Kalix had too, though she was gripped by a desire to take more, to use it all up before it was taken away, as if filling herself with the drug might somehow insulate her from the unpleasantness to come.
“Are you still helping the band?” asked Kalix.
“Yes.”
“Do you enjoy it?”
“Not a great deal.”
“Then why do you do it?”
“Partly because the Mistress of the Werewolves asked me to, to keep the twins out of trouble. And partly because I can’t think of anything else to do. Since leaving Oxford, I haven’t managed to establish a clear set of ambitions.”
“But you’re a computer genius,” said Kalix. “Can’t you do something with that?”
“There are a lot of computer geniuses. Plenty of them remain unsuccessful.”
“You’re a good artist too. And you can translate Latin.”
“Once more, these are not immediately translatable into a viable career. It’s a failure of mine that I don’t seem able to decide what to do. And being a werewolf, job opportunities are limited. Possibly I haven’t broken away from the clan’s influence yet, which is another fault.”
Kalix was surprised to hear Dominil describe herself so negatively. In Kalix’s experience, Dominil was the most competent werewolf in the clan, as well as the most intelligent.
“Helping Yum Yum Sugary Snacks helps fill in the time. And it occurred to me that somewhere in the middle of the computer work I’m doing for them, and the design work, and the music contacts, I might find myself a career I’d be able to tolerate.”
Kalix was on the point of asking Dominil if she needed a career. Most of the leading families of the MacRinnalchs were wealthy. Dominil’s father Tupan was an important werewolf at Castle MacRinnalch, a brother of the old Thane. But she remembered hearing from the twins that Tupan was not generous with his money, so she kept silent.
A stewardess pushed a trolley up the aisle. Dominil bought two cups of tea and two miniature bottles of whisky.
“Should we be drinking?” said Kalix.
“Possibly not. But it can’t do much harm. I’m really not looking forward to this any more than you.”
Dominil and Kalix drank their whisky straight off, then sipped their tea as the plane approached the airport at Inverness. Kalix risked sneaking a look at her journal, guarding it carefully so her companion wouldn’t see. She’d made her first addition to werewolf improvement list, putting a small tick next to get on better with people, and another tick beside stop being so anxious. Kalix had managed to go to the cinema and attend her party without panicking. She’d felt some anxiety, but it was definitely less than she once would have experienced. She felt it deserved a tick. She’d also managed to talk to people at the party and had been, for her, quite sociable. The only negative aspect had been her disagreement with Decembrius. That surely hadn’t been her fault. She did have to get up early in the morning. If Decembrius got in a bad mood about that, she couldn’t help it. All things considered, Kalix thought she’d made a good start on her werewolf improvement plan.
She glanced at another item on the list. Stop using laudanum. She was about to attempt that, much quicker than she’d anticipated when she first made the list. Kalix wasn’t feeling very confident about it.
