Читать книгу A Father, Again - Mary J. Forbes - Страница 10

Damn the woman and her cat.

Jon Tucker trotted down his back veranda steps and strode across his weed-blooming yard. Under his arm, the cardboard box rustled. It wasn’t that he resented cats. He didn’t like them touring his yard, was all. He didn’t like anyone on his property.

What he did like—prized—was his solitary life.

That’s why he’d bought this quiet, street-end property with its decrepit Victorian and two acres of woods.

His brothers knew the score, even though they didn’t relish it, even though they had tried to change his mind more than once. Heck, after his twenty-two-year absence, who could blame them?

He could forgive Luke and Seth.

He wouldn’t forgive his neighbor.

The woman just didn’t get it. Cats roamed. The orange lady in the box was an expert. He’d chased her off his land time and again since moving back to Oregon’s Columbia County two weeks ago. Now, she’d had the gall to birth three kittens on his shirt. His favorite shirt. The last of his police-academy attire, the last tangible link to the force that had been his life, his blood, for two decades.

The last link to his memories.

His nightmares.

The neighbor woman would pay. Damn straight she would.

He sidled through the narrow gap in the ten-foot juniper hedge dividing their backyards. Most likely, when it was planted years ago the owners had been on more friendly terms. Their kids, dogs—and cats, no doubt—had beat this path through it. Well. He’d call the local greenhouse the instant he dumped off the wailing felines and order another shrub to fill in the spot. What did it matter, his mounting costs?

Shifting the box, he climbed the three back steps of the cottage’s porch. His boot heels rapped the slats of its deck. His knuckles rapped the door.

The place needed an overhaul. A big paint job. In contrast, the yard would scoop the blue ribbon at the local fair. Dethatched turf; daffodils and tulips nodding from borders; the apple tree blossoming in the May sunshine; bedding frames in a porch corner.

He knocked again.

Where was she? He’d seen her old red Toyota in the carport.

The door cracked open.

A woman stood in a rectangle of muted light.

He stood tongue-tied, impassioned rants gone.

She was tiny. Lower than his shoulder. Auburn hair. Ratty blue sweatshirt. Small, bare feet. Maroon-stained toenails.

“Yes?”

One word. It locked his gaze to her caution-filled, flax-brown eyes; an instant later, she blinked and sucked in a quick breath.

A small meow tore through his trance.

C’mon, Jon. You’re here for a reason. Thrusting the box forward, he said, “Your cats.”

She grabbed the unwieldy carton; the door swung wider and he saw a child, a girl a bit younger than Brittany, hovering near the kitchen table, big-eyed behind round lenses, pinky in her mouth.

“Cats?” The woman frowned. “We only have one. Sorry. We try to keep her in the house, but sometimes she slips out the door behind us.”

“Now you have four,” he said gruffly. “Kitty had a litter.”

Her eyes widened. She peered under a flap. “Oohhh,” she exclaimed softly. “Sweetpea… No wonder you were so fat.”

Sweetpea?

His neighbor looked up. His throat tightened. Hers was an honest face, a gentle face. Life’s not honest, he wanted to tell her. It’s cruel. Callous. Unjust.

A shy half smile. “My daughter Emily—” she glanced back at the child “—found her in an old tub of dried sweetpea vines inside our garden shed a month ago, thin as a rail and shaky with hunger. I don’t think she’d been fed in two weeks. We put ads in the paper, but so far no one’s claimed her.”

Jon stared at the woman. Green and gold dappled her irises. He turned on his heel.

“Wait—” She followed him across the porch. “Where did you find Sweetpea?”

“On my shirt.” In the shadiest corner of his back deck, to be exact. Where he’d tossed his sweatshirt on the Adirondack chair when the temperature broke the eighty-degree mark while he’d been hammering in a new railing. He trotted down her steps and headed for the chink in the hedge without a backward look.

“Sweetpea,” he muttered. More like sourpuss. The claw marks on his hands proved it.

He’d get that extra juniper in before the sun went down.

Rianne Worth watched the broad back of her visitor disappear.

Jon Tucker.

Heavens, when had she seen him last? More than twenty years ago, at least. She hadn’t recognized him. Not until he’d looked directly at her, demanding she keep her cats off his land. Those eyes, oh, she’d remember them in any decade! Eyes she still saw every so often in her slumbering dreams. Inscrutable, more than a little perilous.

“Who was that man, Mommy?”

Rianne turned to the child at her side. Her shy angel-girl. One day—soon—Emily would shout and laugh and charge into rooms like any normal eight-year-old. You will, Em. I promise. “Our new neighbor, pooch.”

“He looks mean.”

Rianne couldn’t deny it; he had looked mean. And angry.

What had the years done to shroud him in that aura of arctic barrenness? The Jon Tucker of her youth flashed across her mind. Rough-and-tumble black hair, leather jacket, souped-up yellow pickup. Tough and grim. Kind in heart.

“Is he like Daddy?”

God forbid. “No, honey he’s not like your father.” At least not the Jon she remembered. “He doesn’t like to be bothered, that’s all,” she said, trying as always to look for the good, the decent. She knelt and held open the box flaps. “Come see what he brought.”

“Oh, Mom-meee!” Emily breathed reverently. “Sweetpea’s got babies!” She reached in a tiny finger.

“Careful, honey. Don’t touch the kitties for a week or so.”

“I know. We learned that in science.”

Rianne touched her daughter’s hair. “Smart girl to remember.”

“They’re so cute.”

“They are,” she agreed. Sort of. Three mouse-sized creatures with awkward heads, squashed ears and closed eyes clambered over one another to nurse.

Emily stroked Sweetpea’s back. The cat yielded a purry meow, sniffed daintily at the girl’s fingers. “When’d she have them?”

“Today, it seems.”

Brown eyes centered on Rianne. “Did the man take her to the vet’narian?”

“No. She birthed her kittens at his house. Em, once the kittens are weaned, Sweetpea will have an operation so she can’t have any more babies—”

“Is that why he talked so mad?”

“Who?”

“The man.”

“He wasn’t mad, honey. Just a little concerned.” All right, prickly as a chained dog. When she’d opened the door, his big, strong body had blocked out the day—similar to another muscled body—and her heart had stumbled.

Then she’d seen his eyes, his beautiful, ink-blue eyes.

Since the sold sign had disappeared next door, she’d seen him off and on, laboring on that century-aged house. He hadn’t waved, nodded, said hello. But, then, neither had she.

And now?

He hadn’t recognized her, nor was he inclined to friendliness, and he seemed to dislike animals. She would need to keep close tabs on Sweetpea, plus make a spaying appointment with the veterinarian ASAP.

Hoisting up the carton, she stood. “Let’s take the kittens inside, Em. Sweetpea’s probably hungry and needs a clean bed for her babies.”

Rianne carried the box into the kitchen and positioned it beside the cat’s food dish. Sweetpea lifted herself away from her wriggling offspring, then hopped out of the box to lap at the fresh water Rianne brought.

“She’s thirsty, Mom.” Emily squatted inches from the little family. “Hungry, too,” she added when the mother cat meowed her gratitude for the canned food.

The back door slammed. “I’m starving, Mom! What’s to eat?”

Sam, Rianne’s thirteen-year-old son, flung himself into the kitchen, cheeks red, brown hair mussed from the bike ride home.

“Hey, suhweeet!” Slinging off his backpack, he dropped to his knees beside his sister. “Sweetpea had kittens? That’s so cool.”

Rianne’s heart swelled. Every moment of joy was like a gift; she vowed to keep them coming.

“Whose shirt?” Sam eyed the faded, navy-blue cotton bunched in the bottom of the box.

“It belongs to our neighbor. Jon Tucker.”

“The biker guy? The one with the long hair and the tattoo here?” He patted his left forearm.

“Yes.”

“Oh, man, this is major cool. Now that you’ve met him, maybe I can go over and see his Harley.”

“Don’t, Sammy,” Emily piped up. “He talks really mean.”

Sam’s grin vanished. “Mean?”

Okay, Rianne thought, let’s iron this out right now. “Mr. Tucker isn’t accustomed to having animals around, Sam. It seems Sweetpea’s been visiting regularly.”

“But she’s just a cat!”

“Some people are afraid of cats. They may’ve had a bad experience with them as a child or they might have allergies. Like Em with pumpkins. You know how she breaks out in a rash whenever she eats pumpkin pie?”

Emily nodded; Sam simply stared.

She went on. “As you know, people can have reactions to cats and other animals. Sometimes,” she paused for effect, “they get upset. Em cries because the rash itches and hurts. But a man like Mr. Tucker doesn’t cry. Instead, he may get worried or anxious.”

“Why doesn’t he cry?” Emily asked.

Sam rolled his eyes. “Haven’t you learned anything? Men don’t cry.”

Rianne crouched between her children. “Some men do cry. It depends on the person and the circumstances.”

She didn’t believe it of Jon. Not with his flat voice. His ice eyes.

“Dad never cried,” Sam spat. “He just…just…”

“As I said, it depends on the person, honey. Either way, it isn’t a fault. Just because you don’t see someone cry, doesn’t mean they don’t hurt inside.”

“Is our neighbor hurting?” Emily asked.

“I think he had a bad day.” She gave both kids a quick hug. “We need to put Sweetpea and her family into her basket.”

They replaced the shirt with an old blanket and decided to transfer the basket to Rianne’s sewing room where it was quieter, where southern sunshine warmed the small space for most of the day. Safe and snug, the mother cat stretched beside her brood. Her rough, pink tongue reassured each mewling kit.

Sitting back on her heels, with Jon’s shirt in her lap, Rianne watched the new family. And her own.

Sam stroked Sweetpea with the back of his right hand, his deformed hand. He’d been born with a normal left hand, but a finger and thumb were its right counterpart. Her son had learned early in life to hide his handicap. His father hadn’t wanted to see it, to admit it existed. In the fifteen months since Duane Kirby’s car crashed and killed him, Sam was slowly transforming. Rianne encouraged him; his school counselor coached him. At home, using his right hand had become second nature.

Around strangers he remained shy about his handicap.

Soon that, too, would change.

Nothing would keep her from giving her children what they deserved: a loving, happy home. With friends and cats and all things normal. Everything she’d grown up with, here in Misty River.

“Are you taking the man’s shirt back to his house, Mom?” Emily asked.

“I need to wash it first.”

Sam reached over, tapped the slim, curved edge of a capital S. “What’s the logo?”

Rianne pressed back the folds of the material, careful to hide any bloody smears. An oval seal came into view, its gold letters arcing above a shield. Seattle Police. Jon was a cop?

Sam leaned over. “What’s it say?”

Rianne bundled the shirt into a ball and climbed to her feet. “It’s a bit messy from the birth. Could you take out those brownies I baked yesterday, Sam?”

“Can I have two? I’m starving.”

“Me, too.” Emily got up.

“Fine, two each and pour some milk. I’ll be back as soon as I get the washing machine going.”

She went down the basement stairs, headed for the cramped laundry room. Maybe Jon wasn’t a cop. Maybe he’d received an SPD sweatshirt from a friend.

And if he was?

If he is, it’s got nothing to do with you.

It simply meant that tough, bad-boy Jon Tucker of Misty River, Oregon, had become an officer of the law dressed in blue, with thirty pounds of weaponry strapped to his body. If there was irony in that, so be it.

The Jon Tucker today is not the man you remember.

No. At fourteen, she’d been enthralled. A little in love. And, unable to make sense of her English class. Who cared that Robert Browning wrote love sonnets to his wife, Elizabeth? That Alfred Lord Tennyson saw “a flower in a crannied wall”?

Twenty-year-old Jon Tucker had.

Sitting on the worn vinyl seat of his old Ford pickup, Rianne had listened while he interpreted the rich beauty of poetry and the classics. That year, she got her first A in English. And Jon, treating her with the ease of a big brother, got her heart. He’d left Misty River a year later, and she’d tucked him into a quiet corner of her soul where he hovered like a tiny, bright spot all through high school.

All through her marriage.

“Mom?” called Sam.

“Be right there!”

She eyed the sweatshirt in her hands.

Water under the bridge.

She shoved the garment into the washer’s barrel. Several socks, another shirt, softener, and the lid clunked down.

What was he doing back in Misty River?

And what had he, standing on her porch in faded jeans and white T-shirt, thought of her?

Doesn’t matter.

Your tummy is doing little spins.

It is not.

Of course it is. You know why, don’t you?

Oh, yes, she knew why.

Jon Tucker lived next door. And she was no longer a childish fourteen-year-old with braces on her teeth.

“You figure June is the earliest we can dig up this mess, put in new brick?” Jon asked. He and his brother sat on Jon’s porch steps surveying his ragged driveway in the evening light.

Seth lifted his cap, raked back his shaggy hair and gave the lane another thoughtful study. Tall weeds sprouted at its edges. Grass tufted through spider-web cracks in the concrete. “Wish I could fit you in before, J.T., but you know how it is.”

“Yeah.” Jon did know. Seth and his crew had been booked nearly six weeks ahead since March. Seemed everybody and his dog wanted some type of contracting work done this spring.

Jon figured the driveway would take a week or so. Situated last on the narrow tree-lined street, his parcel of land was the biggest. And the shabbiest. Great for the price, not great for renovations.

Checking the sky, Seth commented, “Looks like we’ll be held up another day as it is.”

Over the Coast Range mountains, rain made a dull approach into the valley. Terrific. Another day’s delay to the house’s exterior changes. Jon wanted them done by mid-June when he could concentrate on the inside—and Brittany’s bedroom.

“Well,” he said and grinned. “Considering the price you’re charging me, I suppose I can wait for the driveway.” Besides, it wouldn’t do for his brother to bump a paying customer because his long-lost kin had hit town and wanted instant curb appeal.

The red, dented Toyota rolled up next door. His neighbor, Ms. Kitty Litter. The one he’d dubbed Ms. Sex Kitten in the past twenty-four hours.

“You talked to her yet?” Seth drawled, watching what Jon watched—slim, black-hosed legs swinging from the car. Gold skirt above feminine knees. Clingy black sweater. Small shapely curves.

“Yesterday. For about sixty seconds. Seems like a nice enough woman.” It didn’t matter one way or the other; he wasn’t into congeniality, especially with the neighbors.

“She’s single again.”

“Huh.” Jon figured as much. Mr. Kitty Litter had been visibly absent since Jon had moved into the vicinity. “Didn’t get around to the small talk.”

The woman held a brown bag. Her eyes found his across ninety feet of ratty grass. She didn’t move, didn’t open her mouth, just stood and looked back at him.

A dark-haired boy, about twelve, entered the carport from their backyard. She slammed shut the car door, the sound hollow in the quiet dusk.

“Hi, sweetie.” Her smile could liquefy a steel girder.

The kid hauled up the mountain bike propped against the house. “Can I go over to Joey’s for a half hour?”

“Where’s Emily?”

“With the kittens. Can I go?”

Lightning crinkled the navy sky and thunder growled, closer now. She looked west, past Jon and Seth, as if they were transparent. “Not tonight, Sam.”

“Aw, Mom… I’ll pedal real fast,” he added eagerly.

“No, Sammy. It’s after eight and I don’t want you coming home in a downpour.”

“Pleeease.”

She veered another look Jon’s way. “I said no.”

Without a word, the kid shoved the bike back into place, spun toward the rear of the house and vanished behind the junipers. Shoulders squared, she skipped a third look their way. Jon almost smiled. She had grit, this woman.

With her son. With him and Seth as an audience.

She hadn’t run off. That point alone was enough to jack up his admiration about two hundred notches. Offering the slightest of nods, he conveyed what he felt. Deference in the slant of her chin, she returned the gesture and walked out of sight.

Sparse drops of rain fell. Seth set down his empty soda can. “Well. This town hasn’t seen anything that pretty in a while.”

“That a fact?”

“Uh-huh.” A measured look at Jon. “You really don’t remember her, do you?”

“Should I?”

“Hell, I thought every guy from sixth grade up, living to a hundred, would remember the way that red hair used to hang past her—Hell,” he said again, clearly disconcerted about the direction of his musings.

Jon stared at the carport. “She’s…Rianne Worth?”

“Bingo.”

Clueless fool. She knew you. He took in the weathered little house. “Husband?”

“Dead, what I heard. She showed up one day early last summer from California somewhere, rented a motel for a week, then moved in there. She’s a part-time librarian or some such at Chinook Elementary. Hallie knows her. Says she subs now and then at the high school as well.”

Jon kept silent. He wondered what Seth’s daughter thought of Rianne Worth as a teacher. Jon knew what he used to think of her, as a teenager.

Too many years ago, way too many years.

The rain increased. Drops mottled the driveway. Seth got to his feet and pulled the bill of his cap low. “Okay, I’m off.”

“Yep.” Jon rose. “Talk to you tomorrow.”

Shoulders hunched against the rain, his brother headed for his green pickup. Moments later, Jon stood alone.

A steady drizzle pelted the earth like buckshot. Thunder tussled in the heavy, dismal sky. He made no move to go inside, instead allowed the storm to soak him. Harder, faster it came, collecting in puddles where the aged concrete had sunk over time. The budding trees fronting his yard glistened in a tangle of shiny, black prongs.

Since he was a kid, he’d enjoyed rain, would walk hours in it when his mother was on an extrarotten binge. When her drunken cursing defiled their home, and his father escaped out back to the shed and his brothers hid in their bedrooms or the basement.

Listening to the rain, feeling its blunt, wet needles cool his skin, helped him forget some of life’s uglies. Of course, no matter how hard it rained, how far he walked, one of those uglies would never fade.

A sound to the left drew him. Rianne Worth, still in heels, skirt and clingy top, was piloting a giant purple umbrella while lifting two bags of groceries from the trunk of her car. Success evaded her; the trunk was loaded. She, on the other hand, kept dodging a sheet of rain baling through the tattered roof of the carport directly above the bumper. She had to move the car forward another two feet, which was impossible, or back it up, which would put her smack into the rain.

He could help.

Don’t get involved.

She struggled another minute, gave up and carried a lone bag around back.

Ah, damn it.

Crossing his soggy mess of lawn, Jon stepped over the pruned shrub roses edging her drive. Behind the car, the cold stream from the roof caught him full across the neck and shoulders, drenching his ponytail and T-shirt. Five plastic bags in one hand, six in the other, he shook his head, blinked water from his eyes and rounded the rear bumper.

She stood ten feet away. A petite gold and black silhouette under a purple mushroom. Rianne.

Twenty-two years, and what could he say?

You’ve grown up damn pretty?

You’re someone I don’t recognize?

Hell, most days he barely knew himself.

“Shut the trunk,” he ordered, shouldering past her and heading for the back of the cottage. He bowed his head to the striking rain while her shoes clicked behind him.

Under the porch overhang, she flipped the umbrella closed, parked it against the wall, then held open the door, waiting for him to proceed into the warm house.

In a minuscule entryway, he stopped. “Where?”

“To the left.”

A whiff of her scent mingled with the damp air.

Rain on woman.

He turned into a kitchen about the size of his bedroom closet and set the bags in front of the stove and refrigerator. When he straightened, she stood near the door, hands clasped in front of her, little-girl fashion.

“Thank you,” she said in that same soft tone he remembered.

“You’re welcome.” He looked at his grubby harness boots. Sprigs of dead grass clung to the toes. “I’ve dirtied your kitchen.”

“Don’t worry about it. Would you like some coffee?”

He ran a hand down his dripping cheeks, scraped back his soggy hair. He could stay, get to know her as a neighbor—the five second Hi-how’s-it-going? type—or he could leave.

Seth’s comments pitched both options. “You remember me.”

Her eyes didn’t waver. “Yes. I do.”

He flinched. She would. Two decades ago, every kid from first grade up knew the Tuckers. Not hard in a town of a thousand souls. Not hard when, on any given day, the mother of those Tuckers stumbled down the sidewalk, drunk.

“Well,” he said, disgruntled she undoubtedly recalled those days. “I’ll go then.”

“Jon.” His name was a touch. “I’d really like you to stay for coffee. You were kind enough to help, and…” The half smile from yesterday returned. “I feel responsible for what Sweetpea did to your shirt.”

“Forget it. Cat needed a spot, shirt fit the bill.”

“I’ve washed it. Wait a second.” She disappeared down a short hallway.

He took a breath. Fine. He’d stay for a cup. He went to the door, took off his boots, set them on the outside mat with its white scripted Welcome to Our Home.

Her footsteps returned. “Jon?”

“Here.”

“Good. You stayed.” She smiled and placed his neatly folded shirt on the table, then began scooping coffee into a maker. He approached the end of the counter where she worked.

Abruptly, she faced him. “Are you a cop?”

“I was. I quit a month ago.”

He’d been asked to take stress leave and had opted for retirement. After Nicky’s death, his work had suffered. Hell, after the loss of his son life became an abyss—where he still floundered.

Rianne set the coffee on.

“Where are your kids?” he asked. The boy with the bike?

“Downstairs, watching TV.” She checked a sunflower clock on the wall above the stove. “It’ll be Emily’s bedtime in fifteen minutes. We’ll have time for one cup before the nightly whining begins.” She sported another of those sweet smiles. He sported fantasies that were way out of line.

Not wanting to hear about kids, tooth-brushing or bedtime rituals, he asked, “That decaf?”

“I’d be wide-eyed as an owl with the real stuff. Please. Sit.” She motioned to the table with four ladder-back chairs, then opened a tiny pantry to shelve the groceries.

He stepped beside her and placed three cans of spaghetti sauce on an upper shelf. Before he could reach for another tin, she said, “Would you please sit at the table?”

“I don’t mind a little kitchen duty.”

She took the tin from his hand. “I’d rather you sat.”

It took two seconds for irritation to plant itself. Good enough to play pack mule and carry groceries, but apparently lacking the aptitude to see where they belonged.

Just like Colleen. “Go do your man thing and stay out of my kitchen. I don’t need you here.”

In the end, had she needed him anywhere? As her husband? As the father of their kids?

“Thanks, but I really don’t have time for coffee,” he said, stepping over three bags. “Got a ton of work that needs doing.” Grabbing the shirt she’d laundered, he headed for the door and his boots. So much for neighborly ways.

“Jon. Don’t go. It’s…”

A sitcom’s cackle drifted up from below. Rain drummed on the roof above.

“It’s not you,” she went on, throat closing. “It’s me. I…” Her heart thrummed. Men in general make me edgy. Logically she knew Jon was not “men in general.” Still… He defeated her own height of five-four by almost a foot. And in that soaked navy T-shirt his chest appeared unforgiving.

She avoided looking at his arms, his hands. She’d seen them lift the groceries like a spoonful of granola. Powerful. Dusted with dark, masculine hair, right to the knuckles on his work-toughened fingers. A wolf tattoo prowled along rain-damp skin above his left wrist. Once the town rebel, now a man of dark secrets and possible danger.

But look at him, she did. Straight into eyes as indifferent as a tundra windchill. “I’m not used to having company.” Purposely, she kept her hands loose. “You took me off guard.” Because she hadn’t expected to see him again for at least another week or two, except maybe across the distance of their yards.

Then out of the wet, dark weather he’d loomed…black ponytail plastered to his neck…frown honing every determined angle of his face… And her breath…

She hadn’t breathed calmly since.

He said nothing, but neither did he leave. Just looked at her. Waiting.

“I’m sorry,” she offered finally.

“For what?”

“For how I must sound. As I said—”

“You’re not used to company or want it. That makes two of us.” The words were sensitive as winterkill.

He turned and stepped out onto the deck, pushing wool-socked feet into his boots. Without bothering with the laces, he walked down the steps, into the rain.

She wanted to call out. Invite him back. Wanted to explain it wasn’t him, but another that had her fluttering worse than a nervous house wren. Silent, she went to the edge of the porch. Self-control was difficult to teach, arduous to learn. At the moment, she needed strength. If it looked cowardly, she didn’t care. She clasped her hands in front of her.

Halfway across her lawn, he stopped. Rain lashed his heavy shoulders and skimmed from an implacable chin.

“Good-bye, Rianne.”

Securing the laundered shirt under an arm, he shoved his hands into his pockets and disappeared through the hole in the juniper hedge. He had known who she was. Why hadn’t he acknowledged her yesterday? Or had Seth sitting on those steps confirmed it today?

“You remember me.”

She’d never forgotten.

She listened to the downpour on the roof. Heard it gush in the eaves. Watched a mini waterfall at the side of the porch.

Chilled, she went back into the house, where she finished the groceries, working efficiently, rolling up the plastic bags and tucking them into a drawer. From the skinny broom closet, she hauled out the mop. After wetting the sponge under the tub tap in the bathroom down the hall, she set about tidying up puddles left by big, work-battered boots. He means nothing to me. Nothing.

Then why did you put him in your journal?

She clenched her jaw to an aching point.

God help me, I’ll erase it tonight.

But she heard again her name, submerged in a deep quiet timbre.