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The Labrador Pact: Resist the Springers

Springer spaniels are a danger to our mission. They no longer view themselves as the guardians of the human Family, and have proved willing to sit by and watch its destruction. Furthermore, the mutinous propaganda which fuelled the Springer Uprising now holds an influence over other breeds.

In particular, these are the key aspects of Springer behaviour which must be resisted at all costs:

– Escaping leads

– Ignoring danger-signs

– Exploiting the kindness and generosity of our human masters

– Failing to nurture the canine powers of secret diplomacy

Labradors are encouraged to avoid all forms of contact with this increasingly hedonistic and debauched breed. Whenever a Springer approaches, turn the other way. Whenever you detect their scent, spray your own in its place.

Reckless Springerism will never be tolerated among Labradors.

We will never be weakened.

Our duty will prevail.