Читать книгу Desire Collection: October 2017 Books 1 - 4 - Джанис Мейнард, Maureen Child - Страница 15

Six

For one wild moment, Dani started to scoop up the baby. It wouldn’t be hard to prevent herself from crossing a monumental line in the sand. All she had to do was pretend Peaches had awakened on her own. Babies did that all the time.

Her hand hovered over the downy head for what seemed like forever. Nerves sent her stomach into a free fall and then whooshed it back up again. Oh, God, am I insane? Nathaniel Winston was going to break her heart.

“Having second thoughts?”

The masculine voice startled her so badly, she lost her balance and sat down hard on her butt. “I didn’t expect you back so soon.”

He stared at her strangely. “My bedroom is two doors away. How long did you think it would take?”

“Oh.” Suddenly, her nerves returned full force. Nathaniel was a sophisticated, highly sexual man. Dani was completely out of her depth. She swallowed hard. “When I fantasized about this, I was wearing my best panties and a sexy negligee.”

His jaw dropped. “You fantasized about me?”

“Well, of course. You’re you. Don’t you ever look in a mirror?”

“That’s ridiculous.”

Against all odds, she had gained a temporary advantage. She stuck out her hand. “Help me up, please.” When his hard, warm palm took hers, male fingers clasping smaller female ones, she exhaled shakily. “I didn’t change my mind.”

“Thank God.”

Nathaniel scooped her up in his arms and carried her the few steps to the sofa. He deposited her on her back and began unbuttoning the borrowed shirt she wore. Dani had already rinsed out her only set of underwear in preparation for wearing it again the following day. Consequently, she was completely naked underneath.

When Nathaniel realized that pertinent fact, he froze for several seconds. Then he laid back the two sides of the shirt and studied her raptly. “Merry Christmas to me,” he muttered, his eyes glazed with unmistakable hunger.

Dani had the strongest urge to reach for the afghan and cover herself. Her breasts were on the large side. Her tummy wasn’t completely flat. The women in her family loved to cook and it showed. “Turn off the lamp,” she begged. “We’ll still have the tree.”

Nathaniel shook his head slowly. “No. I want to see everything.”

Reverently, he put a hand on one breast, cupping her fullness with his fingers.

Dani flinched instinctively. She wanted to dive into sex without thinking, letting madness take control. Instead, Nathaniel seemed prepared to savor the moment.

She reached for the hem of his shirt, trying to lift it over his head. “We should hurry,” she said. “Before the baby wakes up.”

Nathaniel grabbed her wrist. “Not so fast. I want to look at you.”

Apparently, he meant that quite literally. For the longest time, he simply stared. Beneath his intense regard, the tips of her breasts pebbled and ached. Gooseflesh broke out all over her body, though the room was plenty warm.

“Nathaniel...” She trailed off, not sure what she wanted to say.

His gaze met hers. “What?” His pupils were dilated.

“You’re embarrassing me.”

A tiny frown creased the real estate between his eyebrows. “Why? You’re exquisite. A man could lose himself for hours doing nothing more than this.” But at last, he released her breast and placed his hand, palm flat, on her abdomen. “I want to spend all night learning what you like...what you want.”

“We don’t have all night.” It was true. They’d be lucky to have half an hour. Why was Nathaniel wasting time? She rested her fingertips on his taut thigh. “I want you naked. That’s my Christmas wish right now. Come to me, Nathaniel.”

Her urgent plea got through to him. With one rueful glance at the sleeping baby, he stood and ripped his shirt over his head.

The man was beautiful. There was no other way to describe it. Broad shoulders, a dusting of dark hair on his tautly muscled chest, bronzed skin. When he dragged the soft cotton pants down his legs and kicked them away, his erection sprang free, tall and thick and ready for action.

Oh, my.

He knelt beside the sofa and touched her upper thigh. “Let me pleasure you, sweet Dani. I want to hear you scream my name.”

What followed next was an erotic assault on her senses. He caressed and teased and aroused her until she was half-mad with wanting him and completely blind to all the reasons she shouldn’t. Dani had been with only two men. One was a long-term relationship in her early twenties, one that didn’t work out. The second was a mistake born of loneliness and the conviction that life was passing her by.

Now here was Nathaniel. Not long-term. Definitely a mistake.

How could a woman leap into disaster and not even care? Turned out, it was easy. Too easy. All she had to do was close her eyes and pretend that Nathaniel was her happily-ever-after. That’s what women did, right? Weave fantasies?

Unfortunately, Nathaniel wasn’t in a mood to appease her fairy tales. At last, he stood again, this time coming down on top of her and moving between her thighs. “Open your eyes, Dani. This is me you’re hiding from. I won’t have it. Open your eyes.”

Holding Nathaniel’s gaze while he slid deep into her body shattered her. He witnessed every nuance of her reaction, including the slight wince when he pressed as far as he could go, thrust irrevocably at the mouth of her womb.

Dani shuddered and panted. It was too much and not enough. He filled her almost uncomfortably. She was tense and frightened—not of Nathaniel, but of her own wildly careening emotions.

She turned her head, watching the dancing flames that somehow had found their way into her body and were roasting her alive.

Her lover grasped her chin and turned her head to face him. His gaze was fierce. “If you wanted to change your mind, all you had to do was say so.”

Shocked to the tips of her bare toes, she saw that she had hurt him. “Oh, Nathaniel, no. It’s not that. I want you, I do.” She linked her arms around his neck and canted her hips, allowing him to steal one more millimeter.

He kissed her roughly, his tongue tangling with hers. “Then why do you keep escaping in your head?” He nibbled the sensitive flesh below her ear and raked her collarbone with sharp teeth.

Dani moaned. “I’m scared. You make me crazy.” She was afraid to come, terrified that she would shatter into a million jagged pieces and never be the same again.

His kisses gentled, even as his big frame shuddered. Much of his weight rested on his forearms, protecting her. But his lower body held her fast. “We’re on even ground then, because I don’t know what the hell we’re doing. Don’t be frightened of me, my brave, bighearted Dani. I won’t let anything happen to you, I swear.”

She kissed him then. Some might have called it a kiss of surrender. Dani knew it was more. It was taking what she wanted despite the inevitable consequences. “Make love to me, Nathaniel.”

Whatever gentleness he had shown her in the beginning burned up in the fire of simple, undeniable, lustful pleasure. He pumped hard, rapidly. Her first climax hit sharp and sudden. She cried out and moaned as he carried her through it. But Nathaniel was far from done. They tumbled to the soft carpet with Dani on top. His fingers dug into her hips with bruising strength.

His chest heaved. His eyes blazed. “Ride me, honey. Find what you need. I can wait...maybe.”

She took him at his word. It was exhilarating and frantic and more wildly pleasurable than she had ever imagined. Twice more, she climaxed. With the last one, Nathaniel came as well, dragging her down to his chest and holding her in arms of steel as he groaned and thrust his way to the finish line.

When it was over, the only sound in the room was their labored breathing and the gentle hum of the gas logs.

Dani’s bottom, exposed to the air, started to get cold. She dared not move. If she did, she would have to face Nathaniel. How could she do that? How would she ever again be able to look him in the eye and pretend they were nothing more than boss and assistant?

Thank God she had already been sending out résumés. Perhaps tonight was her subconscious way of making sure she followed through on her decision to leave New Century. Nothing about Nathaniel had changed. He’d warned her as much at the dinner table. Dani would have to be the one to make smart decisions.

But how? How was a woman supposed to resist a man who combed his fingers through her hair and seemed not to notice that she had the beginnings of muffin top? He made love to her like she was a pool of life-giving water, and he’d been lost in the Sahara. She’d felt his desperation. His whole body shook, and not just with orgasm, but as he caressed her breasts and kissed her so sweetly.

Doggedly, she told herself that Nathaniel was right. None of this was real. They were playacting. Making the best of a bad situation, or two bad situations, if you counted Peaches. The snow and the child. Blizzards and babies and boners, oh, my.

The irreverent thought made her giggle.

Nathaniel noticed, of course. He opened one eye and glared up at her. “I hope you’re not laughing at me. I might point out you’re in a very vulnerable position.”

She sobered rapidly. “No, sir, boss.” Brushing her lips across his stubbly jaw, she played the aggressor. “Merely wondering how long I have to wait for round two.”

Disengaging their bodies, he scrambled to his feet and pulled her up with two hands. “I have a great shower. Lots of settings on the showerhead. You’ll love it.”

“Um...”

He lifted her chin. “Talk to me, little Christmas elf. I’m having the damnedest time reading you right now.”

She shrugged, trying to pretend she wasn’t naked. “Showers are kind of personal. I’m not exactly a sharing kind of person when it comes to personal hygiene.”

Nathaniel’s lips quirked. “It’s a good thing you’re cute.”

“Why is that?”

He kissed her nose. “Because you’re a lot of work.”

“I am not,” she said, affronted. “Have I complained once about being kidnapped and forced to be your nanny?”

“You’ve been a saint,” he said gravely. “But I was talking about your emotional state. I’ve seen pictures of a sphinx who’s less inscrutable than you are. Two days ago we were in the office doing the usual, and now you tell me you’ve been fantasizing about me. Who knew?” He sounded aggrieved.

It was too perfect an opening not to ask. She stroked one of his biceps, loving the way her caress made him shiver. “I’m curious. Did you ever fantasize about me when we were at the office?”

* * *

Doors slammed shut in Nathaniel’s brain. Danger, danger. He drew in a ragged breath. “Hell, yes. But that was very unprofessional on my part.” He backed away. “I think you’re right about the shower. If you don’t mind, I’ll go first. If Peaches wakes up in the meantime, I’ll give her a bottle so you can get some sleep.”

He didn’t remember how he got to his bedroom. He must have released Dani. He must have grabbed his shirt and pants, because they were clutched in his hands.

Swallowing back the taste of dread and panic, he showered quickly and changed into jeans and an old college sweatshirt. Despite the hot water, he was cold through to the bone.

The expression in Dani’s eyes when she looked up at him hadn’t been inscrutable at all. It encompassed vulnerability and shy affection and probably a million questions. Simple questions any woman had the right to ask when she had just surrendered her body to a man she should be able to trust. A man who had vowed to protect her.

For ten minutes, he paced the confines of his bedroom, formulating a game plan, deciding what to say. If he and Dani continued to have sex, she would expect things from him. Things he likely couldn’t or wouldn’t give. But if he came right out and said he was only playing around, he would leave himself open to her recriminations, maybe even reprisals.

She was a decent woman. With a kind heart. Still, he and she together had crossed a line. A line that made him as vulnerable as his father had been all those years ago.

Dani wouldn’t sue him. He wouldn’t lose his company. The chances of that happening were infinitesimal.

Without warning, a distant memory flashed, one he had forgotten in the mists of time. A woman in a professional, powder blue suit occupied the witness stand, her face hard and cold as she listed Nathaniel’s father’s transgressions, demanding vengeance. Nathaniel, almost eighteen by that time, had been sitting in the back row of the courtroom.

His mother was hospitalized. His father was a broken man, forced to appear before judge and jury and have his life’s work torn to shreds. Nathaniel hadn’t known how to help either of his parents.

A sound from outside the sanctuary of his bedroom jerked him back to the present. He had to go back to the den and face Dani. Squaring his shoulders, he told himself not to overreact. All he had to do was tread carefully. As soon as the snow melted and Ophelia retrieved the baby, life would go back to normal.

When he found his two female houseguests, they were ensconced on the sofa, wrapped in an afghan, Dani was wearing his shirt again. Her eyes were closed, her head resting against the back of the seat. Peaches was awake, noisily downing a bottle of formula. The lights were off. Only the flames from the fire illuminated the room.

Carefully, Nathaniel sat down beside woman and child. He put a hand on Dani’s knee. She was sitting cross-legged with the baby in her lap. “You okay?” he asked softly. “Do you want me to take her?”

Dani opened her eyes and stared at him. He bore her scrutiny stoically. His assistant was a smart woman. She had to know something was wrong. Thankfully, she let it slide. “We’re fine, Nathaniel. Why don’t you go back to bed? You have no idea how long Peaches will be staying with you, and unfortunately, I won’t be around to help much longer. You should get sleep while you can.”

He inhaled sharply. Apparently they weren’t going to discuss his earlier behavior. Instead, Dani let it be known very plainly she was not going to linger in his home waiting for scraps of his attention and affection. There was a quiet dignity about her that shamed him. The open, joyful response he’d seen in her after their intimate encounter was gone.

Moving his hand from her knee, he tried to breathe naturally. The gaping hole in his chest made that difficult. Had he crushed the only person in his life who actually cared about him?

Dani lifted the baby onto her shoulder and patted her back. “How will you go about finding Ophelia?”

“I’ve contacted a private investigator. Needless to say, he’s not eager to leave his family on Christmas. He’s promised to get to work on the case first thing Monday. I’m confident Ophelia’s still in the city. After all, how far could she get? If we’re trapped, so is she.”

“Good point.” Dani stood, holding the baby carefully. Peaches had nodded off. “I think she’ll sleep a few more hours now. We’ll see you in the morning.”

Nathaniel jumped to his feet. “Wait,” he said hoarsely.

Dani turned back, but her posture was defensive, and she held the child as a shield. “What, Nathaniel? What do you want?”

On the surface, it was almost a rhetorical question. As if she knew he didn’t know why he had stopped her. But then again, maybe she was demanding more. Explanations. Assurances. Unfortunately, he had none to give.

“It’s December 25 already,” he said, feeling foolish and desperate. “Merry Christmas, Dani.”

Her smile was wistful, perhaps even sad. “Merry Christmas, Nathaniel.”

After that, he let her go, because it was the right thing to do. He had no right to coax her into lingering so he would have someone to talk to. He liked being alone. He enjoyed his own company. It was only the snow and the holiday and the baby throwing him off balance.

He prowled the condo, unable to contemplate sleep. If he hadn’t been such an ass, Dani might have been in his bed this very moment, her cuddly, warm body pressed against his as they dozed in between bouts of hot, satisfying sex.

What would it take to win a woman like Dani? For one thing, he would have to change virtually everything about himself. Dani would expect open communication and an honest exchange of feelings and emotions. The thought made him shudder. He’d perfected the art of walling himself off from the world. It was too late to change now.

Walking alone was the only way he knew.

* * *

Dani cried herself to sleep. When she awoke four hours later, her head ached and she faced the inescapable conviction she was her own worse enemy. She knew what the boss was like, perhaps better than anyone else in his life. Why on earth had she asked him such a stupid question? Did you ever fantasize about me when we were at the office?

The raw honesty of his answer had revealed the extent of his conflicted emotions. Nathaniel was a man. Men were creatures of the moment. They compartmentalized things in their brains. Work, sex, food, sleep. The only reason she and Nathaniel ended up being intimate was the result of an unlikely set of circumstances.

As she changed a wet diaper and blew raspberries on a soft baby tummy, she fretted. She needed to get out of this condo. The sooner, the better. If she had sex with her boss a second time, she’d never convince herself to leave. Even worse, she might ignore all common sense and be put in the ignominious position of being asked to leave.

That wasn’t going to happen. Ever. She might not be able to eradicate her feelings for the man down the hall, but he didn’t have to know he was breaking her heart into jagged shards that would never properly fit back together.

Moving to the window, she twitched aside the sheers and looked out. The thaw was supposed to begin today, in theory. High of thirty-eight. Peeks of sunshine. So far, the skies were gray. The coating of ice on top of fifteen inches of snow meant the city was still obliterated. Only the most intrepid would venture out on Christmas Day.

When she closed the curtains and turned around, Nathaniel was standing in the doorway of the guest room. He held out a shopping bag with a quizzical smile on his face. “Your new friend, Reggie, the doorman, came through for us. He dropped off all these baby things a few minutes ago. I thanked him.”

“And gave him a big fat Christmas tip, I hope.”

“Of course.”

“Too bad he has to work the holiday.”

Nathaniel nodded. “At least he’s only here until two. Several of them are dividing shifts today so no one gets stuck the whole time.”

“I’m glad.” Dani clutched Peaches like a lifeline. She had worried about imagining Nathaniel naked. The reality was much worse. He was fully dressed in khakis and a white button-front shirt with the sleeves rolled up. His tanned arms, lightly dusted with dark hair, were very masculine, as was the high-end gold watch on his left wrist. But that wasn’t the bad part. What made her stomach do sickening flips and flops was this new awareness between them. She couldn’t explain it, but it was there.

While she stood by the bed trying not to blush, Nathaniel upended the shopping bag and dumped a pile of baby clothes on the bed. “Good news, kid,” he said with a chuckle. “You finally get to wear something new.”

“Now, if only Reggie had access to my size,” Dani joked. The fact that she was modeling another of Nathaniel’s soft cotton dress shirts over the same gray thermal pants put her at a distinct disadvantage.

Nathaniel shot her a grin, his expression smug. “It’s still early,” he said. “I’m sure Santa hasn’t forgotten you, Dani.”

She had no clue what that meant. But she wasn’t in the mood for flirty repartee. Today was going to be Christmas without the feels.

To keep things on an impersonal track, she propped Peaches on her hip and began sorting through the clothing. Like most baby things, the rompers and sleepers and adorable dresses were mostly in mint condition. At this age, infants grew so fast, it was almost impossible to wear an outfit enough times to do any damage.

Nathaniel stood beside her, making her clumsy and nervous. He picked up a tiny green dress with candy canes appliqued at the hem. “I vote for this one,” he said. “Perfect for Peaches’s first Christmas Day.”

Casually, Dani moved aside, putting a few feet between herself and temptation. “I agree. Why don’t you do the honors?”

He blanched. “Me? I have big hands. This stuff looks like doll clothes. You’d better do it. If you don’t mind.”

Dani hesitated. “Well...”

“What’s the problem?”

“I’m leaving when the snow melts, Nathaniel,” she said bluntly. “You’ll have to do all this yourself.”

His expression gave new meaning to the term poker face. “I’ll worry about that when the time comes. Besides, Peaches would rather have you dress her right now. She’s more comfortable with you.”

Dani laid the baby on the bed and quickly switched out the sleeper for the green dress. “Oh, my gosh. Look how cute she is. Hold her, Nathaniel. Let me take a picture.” She grabbed her smartphone while Nathaniel made silly faces at Peaches and scooped up the little girl who might or might not be his daughter.

The sight of the big, macho man holding the small, smiling baby made her heart squeeze. They looked right together.

Moments later, Dani tucked the phone in her pocket and managed a casual smile. “If you two are okay for the moment, I’ll put breakfast in the oven. Did I smell coffee brewing? Please say yes.”

“Plenty for both of us,” Nathaniel said. He rubbed noses with the baby. “This beauty and I will be in my office taking care of a little business. Come find us when it’s ready.”

She stared at him. Something in his voice gave her a little fillip of excitement. “Christmas secrets, Nathaniel?”