Читать книгу Desire Collection: October 2017 Books 1 - 4 - Джанис Мейнард, Maureen Child - Страница 17
ОглавлениеNathaniel blinked, feeling his anger and frustration winnow away to be replaced by something even more unsettling. He knew what it was like to have someone feel sorry for him, but it had been a very long time since he had been on the receiving end of that reaction. He didn’t much care for it. There were any number of things he wanted from Dani. Pity wasn’t one of them.
“I have to be at work on Tuesday,” he said calmly, careful to reveal nothing of the confusion tearing him apart. “New Century Tech will be open for business. I have employees.”
“What about the baby?”
Dani’s dogged insistence on planning was commendable, but since he didn’t have any of the answers she wanted, his only recourse was stonewalling. “I’ll work something out. Besides, the baby will only be with me a day or two longer. I’m confident the investigator will find Ophelia quickly.”
“I’m all in favor of positive thinking,” Dani said wryly, “but that’s not much of a strategy. Seriously, Nathaniel, come to Gainesville with me. It won’t be odd if you show up. Mom and Dad often have stray guests at the dinner table, even at the holidays. We wouldn’t sleep overnight at the house, of course. There are several nice hotels nearby.”
“I appreciate what you’re trying to do,” he said, “but I’ll be fine.”
The combative subject was dropped by unspoken consent when Peaches decided she was hungry. Dani fed the baby while Nathaniel cleaned up the kitchen. Already, they had blown through most of the groceries he’d brought home on Saturday. Even the baby supplies were getting low.
When the kitchen was clean and the baby asleep on his bedroom floor, he realized he had to get out of the condo or risk making love to Dani. If they had sex again, she would make assumptions about the two of them. He wasn’t ready for that.
The wonderful meal he had consumed sat like lead in his stomach. “I’m going to the store for round two,” he said suddenly. “Make a list. I’ll be back in a minute.”
“Oh, but—”
He exited the warm, cozy kitchen before Dani could say anything else. When he had donned his parka and ski pants and gloves, he went back for the list. “Is it ready?” he asked, not looking at her. The cherry-red sweater he’d given her for Christmas clung to all the right places. Looking at her breasts was a bad idea.
“You can’t go to the store, Nathaniel.”
“Of course, I can.”
“It’s Christmas Day. I’m sure there might be some places open here and there, but probably not in walking distance. Quit worrying. I can stretch the food we have left until Monday afternoon. We can always do something simple tomorrow like bacon and eggs and pancakes.”
He stripped off his outerwear a piece at a time, feeling ridiculous. “I keep forgetting it’s Christmas,” he muttered.
Dani shook her head in amusement. “First I’ve inundated you with too much Christmas, and now you say you forgot about it entirely. Make up your mind.”
He shot her a glance, feeling his resolve wane. “I needed to get out of the house,” he said bluntly. “Away from you. It wasn’t really about the groceries.”
“Oh.” She looked stricken.
“I want you, Dani. Under the circumstances, it doesn’t seem fair to you.”
“Because?”
“Because you can’t say no without causing tension between us.” When she didn’t say a word, he lifted his shoulders and rotated his neck. “Never mind. I’m going for a walk. Call me if there’s an emergency.”
Desperate to get away, he turned on his heel and strode out of the room. He made it to the front door before Dani intervened. The relief he experienced when he heard her voice call to him was overwhelming and inexplicable.
“Don’t go out in the cold, Nathaniel. Stay with me.”
He turned around slowly. She smiled faintly, but her eyes held secrets. Clearing his throat, he tossed his gloves on the console by the door and ran his hands through his hair. “If I stay, I’ll make love to you. Sooner or later. You know that’s true.”
She swallowed visibly. “Yes.”
“Things between us are complicated. You have to be sure.”
Waiting for her answer was the longest five seconds of his life.
“I can’t think of a better way to spend Christmas,” she whispered.
The look on her face made him damned glad she had stopped him. “Now?” he asked hoarsely.
“Shouldn’t we wait until tonight?” she said, her wide-eyed expression betrayed the struggle between madness and common sense.
“Maybe. But I can’t.” Deliberately, he began undressing, not only his cold-weather gear, but his socks and shoes and belt and everything down to his shirt and pants. Dani watched him intently, her cheeks flushed.
The door to his bedroom was open down the hall. They would hear the baby if she woke. “Say something,” he demanded. “Tell me what you want.”
“I’m not sure what I want,” she said, wincing. He heard the truth in her words. “Maybe I just need you to know that I know.”
His hands stilled on his shirt buttons. “Know what?”
“That we’re taking a moment out of time. Period. That this ends when we walk out your front door tomorrow. I get it. You don’t have to worry about me, Nathaniel. You’re a sexy, interesting man. I want to be with you. But I won’t make any uncomfortable demands. No awkward endings. You have my word.”
Her ability to see right through to the deepest layers of his psyche alarmed him. The trouble was, he didn’t have any pretty speeches to say in reply. Dani was one hundred percent correct. They had today and tonight and maybe tomorrow.
After that, the snow melted, the baby was reunited with her mother and Nathaniel went back to being top dog at New Century Tech. Business as usual.
He held out a hand. “Come here, little elf.”
The choice on his part to remain still was deliberate. He needed Dani’s physical assurance that she wanted to take this step.
Instead of taking his hand, she flung herself at him, wrapped her arms around his neck and knocked the breath from his lungs. “Merry Christmas, Nathaniel.”
He hugged her instinctively. Finding her mouth with his, he dove in for the taste that was his new addiction. “God, you’re sweet.”
She bit his neck, sharply enough to bruise. “I’m not particularly interested in sweet right now. Take me, Nathaniel. Show me the real you. I won’t break, and I won’t run away.”
“God help us both,” he muttered. He kissed her wildly, sliding his hands beneath her sweater and finding warm, soft breasts. “You didn’t have to wear a bra,” he complained.
“Your fault.” Her voice was muffled against his collarbone. “New clothes. Didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”
Clumsily, he tugged the sweater over her head and unfastened the offending undergarment. When Dani was bare from the waist up, he put his hands on her hips and dragged her against him. “I’m too close to the edge,” he groaned. “Embarrassingly so. Give me a minute.”
Dani shook her head and leaned back to look up at him, her eyes bright with pleasure. “I like driving you mad,” she said. “It gives me power.”
She was joking. He knew that. He knew Dani. Still, the words sent a frisson of unease down his spine. Shaking off the sense of foreboding, he kissed her gently. “Take all the power you want, little elf. Tonight, you’re mine.”
* * *
Dani was under no illusions. She could only take what Nathaniel gave freely. There was a part of him that was off-limits to her, to everyone. She would have to be satisfied with the very appealing bits and pieces he offered. If the next twenty-four hours were to be their swan song, this unlikely pairing would be as special as she could make it.
Stuffing her doubts into a dark closet, she cupped his face in her hands. “You know how in movies the hero sometimes takes the heroine up against the front door, because he can’t make it any farther before he has sex with her?”
Nathaniel rolled his eyes, but he grinned. “I get the general idea.”
“Well...” She removed his shirt and pressed her naked breasts to his wonderfully hard, warm chest. “I was thinking we might try that.”
He shuddered when she linked her arms around his waist and slid her fingertips inside his jeans, caressing his lower back. “I could use some exercise,” he said soberly.
“Sex burns calories,” she muttered. Perhaps they might just stand here like this all afternoon. She felt safe and warm, as if nothing bad would ever happen.
Nathaniel took her idea and ran with it. Before she blinked twice, he had her pants and undies down her legs. “Step out of them,” he demanded.
There must have been a draft in the foyer. Gooseflesh broke out all over her body, and her nipples went on high alert. Stark naked, she wrapped her arms around her breasts. “Stop,” she said hastily. “Your pants have to go, too.”
He lifted an eyebrow, kneeling at her feet. “I’ve seen one or two of those movies. The guy keeps his pants on sometimes. You know...’cause he’s in such a hurry.”
She chuckled, despite her tendency to hyperventilate. “Now you’re mocking me.”
“A little bit.” He stood and shucked his trousers and boxers casually, removing a couple of condoms from his pocket along the way. “If my back goes out from these shenanigans, you’ll have to carry me to bed.”
The humor didn’t really compute. A naked Nathaniel Winston was even more powerful and intimidating than the one in the tailored suits and pristine white dress shirts. He was a male animal in his prime.
If she hadn’t been breathless with longing and terrified the baby was going to wake up at the most inopportune moment, Dani might have taken the time to study her lover’s body in detail. As it was, urgency overtook any desire to savor the moment.
“How do we do this?” she asked, the words embarrassingly weak and shaky.
Nathaniel’s smile took all the starch out of her knees. “You let me worry about the logistics, honey. Right now I’m going to kiss you until you forget your name.” With a nonchalance Dani could never have managed in a million years, he took care of the condom and tossed aside the packet.
Dani sighed when he folded her in his arms and held her loosely, brushing her forehead with a tender kiss.
“My lips are down here,” she pointed out, trying to speed things along.
“I never noticed how bossy you are.”
“I never noticed how slow you are.”
Without warning, he scooped her up and palmed her bottom. She buried her face in the crook of his neck and wrapped her legs around his waist. His thick erection pressed against her. He shuddered and panted, his entire body rigid. “More foreplay later, I swear.”
“I believe you.”
The muscles in his arms corded and bunched as he lifted her slowly and carefully lowered her onto his sex. The feeling was indescribable. Despite their pretense that Dani was calling the shots, this particular position put Nathaniel irrevocably in charge.
Gravity worked in his favor. The fit was tight, almost uncomfortable. Dani started to shake as nerves and arousal duked it out in her stomach.
Nathaniel cursed and groaned. “Too much?” he asked, jaw clenched, the words barely audible.
“No, no, no...but don’t forget the door.”
He staggered and laughed and stumbled forward until Dani’s bottom made contact with cold, hard wood. “You asked for this, elf.” With purchase now to aid his mission, Nathaniel thrust forcefully.
Dani held on, fingernails scoring his shoulders. Eyes closed, lungs starved for oxygen, she let him take her savagely, recklessly. It was too much in one second and not enough the next. Laughing, sobbing, she clung to him until she felt her orgasm rise up from the depths of her soul. It flashed and burst and consumed her.
A heartbeat later, Nathaniel pummeled his way to his own reward. “God, Dani. Hold on...” His words faded as he shuddered for what seemed like an eternity and finally slumped against her, pinning her to the door that had been the vehicle for her fantasy.
Afterward, she was never sure how long they stood there. Or rather, Nathaniel stood. Dani was limp and exhausted and completely at his mercy. She wouldn’t have changed a thing.
In the aftermath of insanity, one thing was clear. She was in love with her boss. If she weren’t mistaken, she had been for a very long time.
The blinders came off painfully. For months, she’d been telling herself she had to find new employment. Now she knew why. This was more than a simple crush. She was deeply, irrevocably in lust and love with this virile, complicated man.
She started to tremble and couldn’t stop.
Nathaniel read her response as being cold. Without speaking or changing their positions, he carried her down the hall to his bedroom. They scooted past the baby and into the opulent master bathroom. Carefully, he lifted her and set her on her feet. “Was that everything you wanted it to be?”
His teasing smile—along with the smug satisfaction he radiated—made her blush.
“It was lovely,” she said primly. “I’ll check that off my bucket list.”
He kissed her nose. “Something tells me I’d like to see your list if those are the kind of things on it.”
“Private,” she said airily. “Need-to-know basis, only.” And you don’t need to know, Nathaniel Winston, because you won’t be around to help me check them off.
Refusing to ruin their romantic moment with her grief, she twisted her hair into a towel and turned on the water in the shower. “I don’t want to get my hair wet. Peaches will be awake soon. Why don’t I go first?”
Nathaniel shook his head, his expression brooking no argument. “I’ll keep your hair dry, Dani, but you’re not getting in my shower without me.”
“Okay. It’s your call.” But the shower took a turn she hadn’t expected. By the time she reached for the faucet and adjusted the water temperature, her boss-now-lover was hard again, impressively so.
Pretending not to notice, she backed into a corner of the marble enclosure. Grabbing a washcloth, she soaped it and prepared to execute the quickest cleanup on record.
Nathaniel took matters—and the washcloth—out of her hands. “Don’t be shy, Dani. Maybe this one is on my bucket list.”
It was depressing to think he had probably enjoyed shower sex with any number of strange women. But when he gently washed her breasts and then moved lower, her eyes closed and her body went lax with pleasure. After he completed his mission, fore and aft, he used the detachable shower sprayer to rinse her completely. As he had promised, the towel protecting her hair stayed perfectly dry.
“Thank you,” she muttered. She felt as if her entire body was covered in one big blush. She’d had sex with the man twice already. Yet still, his touch in this new context left her feeling vulnerable and uncertain.
“Will you do the honors?” He held out the washcloth with a challenging gleam in his eye. Not for the world would Dani let him see how very far out of her depth she was. Ocean deep. Wishing for a life raft. In imminent danger of drowning.
Nathaniel had been careful to point the showerhead away from her. Which meant that she could kneel at his feet and soap him up to her heart’s content.
It was a dangerous game they played. Nathaniel clenched his fists, his eyes closed. His head fell back to rest against the wall. The length of him was fascinating—alive, powerful and so very sensitive to her touch.
For a man to allow a woman this level of intimate attention required a level of trust. In one brief moment, Nathaniel had chosen to yield his power for the sweet pleasure a lover’s caress could bring. Dani held him in two hands, marveling at a creation that was at once so commonplace and yet so incredibly beautiful and life-giving.
The physical relationship between them was new and short-lived. Cleansing him was one thing. Other more intimate attentions were beyond her comfort level. She brushed a soft kiss across the head of his erection and rose to her feet. “Turn around, so I can finish.”
His back was almost as compelling as other parts. Sleek muscles, male sinew and bone, all of it fascinated her. At last, she took the sprayer and removed every soapy bubble. “All done,” she croaked.
Nathaniel spun around so quickly she gasped. He dragged her against him and kissed her hard, desperately. She felt the tang of blood in her mouth. “Dani,” he groaned. “Dani, my sweet Dani.” Maneuvering her like a rag doll, he turned her to the wall and placed her hands above her head, palms flat on the slick, wet surface. “Don’t move.”
One breathless heartbeat later she felt him enter her from behind. This time the theme was slow possession, so measured and deliberate she wanted to claw the wall. Her climax built in gentle swells and waves, one after the next. Nathaniel drew back and pushed in again, his size and force stimulating sensitive flesh already tender from their earlier lovemaking.
His big hands gripped her hips. “I won’t let you forget this,” he growled. “I’ll take you again and again today until you beg me for more, and then we’ll start all over again.”
The provocative mental picture he painted sent her over the edge. She cried out and tried to stay still, but the end was too much for both of them, the shower floor too slick. Nathaniel scooped her up, took two steps out and deposited her on the thick, fluffy bathroom rug. He moved between her thighs with frantic haste. “Now,” he moaned. “Come again, come with me.”
* * *
Nathaniel slumped on top of Dani and tried to remember how to breathe. In the other room, the baby stirred. Damn it. How did couples with babies ever talk? No that he wanted to talk, not really. He was screwed and he knew it.
Dani would have to go to another division, another boss. The idea made his skin crawl. But he wasn’t in denial. There was no way he could work with her now and not be constantly sidelined by lust. Already, he wanted her day and night.
The depth of that wanting scared him more than anything he had ever faced. No woman had ever mattered to him this way. He’d never allowed it. Now, though, he was torn between wanting to keep Dani at arm’s length and being wildly jealous of any other man at NCT who might cross her path.
Incredulous that he had allowed himself to stray so far from his life’s plan, he felt a lick of despair and panic.
He needed to think. He needed a plan. Unfortunately, this entire situation was spiraling madly out of control.
Dani shoved at his shoulders. “Let me go get her, please. She slept forever. I’m sure she’s starving.”
Rolling to one side, he slung an arm over his eyes and tried not to freak out. In his peripheral vision, he saw Dani take his terry robe from the back of the door and belt it twice around herself. The way her narrow waist flared into a curvy ass was an image he would never get out of his brain. His hands tingled with the need to touch her again.
He decided to let Dani tend to the kid for a few moments while he pulled himself together. Once he was dressed again, he felt marginally more normal. Unfortunately, he couldn’t stay in the bathroom forever.
When he opened the door to the bedroom, woman and baby were gone. Made sense. The formula and bottles were in the kitchen. He found his missing houseguests there. Dani perched on a stool. Peaches was in her lap.
Dani didn’t look at him, but she muttered a greeting. Her gaze was fixed on the baby. “I’ve seen how you look at her,” she said. “You’re already halfway in love with this baby. It’s going to hurt like hell if she’s not yours, isn’t it?”
He poured himself a cup of coffee. “Sharing custody of a child with Ophelia would be a nightmare, so no.”
“I wasn’t talking about Ophelia. I was talking about you and Peaches. I’ve watched you with her. Deep down, you wouldn’t be too upset if this baby carries your DNA.”
“Quit trying to psychoanalyze me, Dani. I’m not a kid person. Never have been. Never will be. The baby is cute. I’ll give you that. But believe me, I’ll be happy to hand her back to her real parent. Hopefully sooner than later.”
The inquisition should have bothered him far more than it did. But his body was relaxed and sated from really great sex, so it was almost impossible to get mad at Dani for weaving her naive theories.
“I do have a Christmas present for you after all,” she said. Peaches finished the bottle. Dani put the baby on her shoulder and patted her back. “It’s on my phone. Take a look.”
The photograph Dani had captured at some point this weekend when he wasn’t aware was beautiful. Even he had to admit that. He’d been in the den with the baby showing her the Christmas tree. The damned shot could have made the cover of a parenting magazine. Man in Love with His New Child. Father Shares the Joys of Christmas with the Next Generation. Innocence and Trust. Daddy and Daughter.
He clicked out of the photo app and laid the phone on the counter. “Thank you. Text it to me. It will be a good reminder to vet my future bed partners more carefully.”
When Dani’s face went blank, he cursed. “I’m sorry,” he said stiffly. “That was a stupid thing to say. I’m sorry, Dani.” He went to her and put his arms around her and the baby. “I’m not usually so clumsy. I was trying to be funny, but it wasn’t funny at all. You’re the only woman I want in my bed, I swear.”
“For now. Not forever.”
“I thought we both agreed this was a for-now kind of thing.” Was she trying to make him feel guilty? It was working.
“We did. Of course.” Dani wriggled free of his embrace and stood. “I think this would be a good time to finish that movie we started earlier.”
Nathaniel released her reluctantly. Somehow they had segued from mind-blowing sex in his bedroom to acting like stilted strangers. He knew it was his fault. What he didn’t know was how to fix it.
The remainder of Christmas Day passed slowly. Their snowed-in weekend was drawing to a close. Outside, a few of the main thoroughfares had been plowed and salted. Traffic was moving again, albeit slowly. The temperature had climbed above freezing for a few hours, but there was still plenty of snow cover. The side streets would be a mess.
Peaches was content to play on a blanket for long periods of time. She had napped a great deal of the day, so now she was awake and in a good mood.
Nathaniel was glad to have the child as a chaperone. Again and again, he revisited the invitation to accompany Dani to her parents’ home. Was there a trap hidden in there, a trap he didn’t see?
Dani was the least manipulative woman he knew. Then again, he had allowed her unprecedented access to his private life. Something had changed. Something more than the initiation of a physical relationship. He found himself wanting to lock the door and never let her leave. Here in his condo, he could control the outcome.
Once the real world intruded again, all bets were off.
Christmas supper was leftovers, but damned good leftovers. Afterward, Nathaniel entertained the baby while Dani spoke on the phone again to each of her siblings and her parents. It was clear to him that the Meadows clan was a tight-knit bunch. If Dani showed up with her boss and a baby in tow, wouldn’t everyone think it was odd?
Again, he tried to sniff out danger. Finally, he asked Dani outright, “Won’t your family think it strange if Peaches and I tag along with you?”
In her red sweater and black pants, Dani looked elegant and not nearly as approachable as the woman wearing his shirts. “Why? Are you thinking about changing your mind?”
“That’s not an answer,” he pointed out wryly.
Dani wrinkled her nose. “I’m the youngest. My parents have seen it all. Before my sister got married, she dated an insurance salesman with three boys under the age of seven. The man was looking for a built-in babysitter. Fortunately, Angie wised up before it was too late. He wasn’t the only weirdo, though. There was a musician in an alternative rock band and a tax accountant turned street preacher.”
“Wow.”
“Yeah. Angie went through a rebellious stage before she settled down with my brother-in-law, who, by the way, is pretty much a saint.”
Nathaniel grinned. “What about your brother?”
“He’s not married yet. For the last couple of years, he’s been dating a string of short-term partners. Nice women, but they haven’t a clue what to do with Jared. He has an IQ in the hundred fifties. The man needs intellectual stimulation, even if he doesn’t know it yet.”
“I’m sure it will dawn on him eventually.”
“We can only hope.”
“I’m not sure where I fit in,” Nathaniel drawled. “I’m not a musician or much of a churchgoer. But I do temporarily have a baby to look after.”
“I’ve been thinking about that,” Dani said earnestly. “If you decide to come with me to Gainesville tomorrow, I’ll simply introduce you as my boss. They know your name, of course, because I’ve spoken about you. I’ll say you’re caring for a friend’s baby and that we got snowed in together. That’s all they need to know.”
“In their shoes, I might have a lot of questions.”
“Even if that were true, they wouldn’t make you uncomfortable. My parents are the consummate Southern hosts. They may feed you too much, and you might have to listen to my father’s dumb jokes, but no one will put you on the spot.”
“I’ll think about it,” he said.
Dani’s pleased expression was its own reward.
At bedtime, they faced an awkward moment. Dani held Peaches, prepared to disappear into her room for the night. Nathaniel stopped her with a hand on her arm. He kissed her cheek. “Sleep in my bed tonight,” he muttered.
“Are you sure?” Dani looked up at him searchingly as if she saw every one of his doubts.
“I’m sure.”
