Читать книгу The Taste of Romance Collection - Maureen Child - Страница 37

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

BRETT CROSSED THE street and looked at Jamie’s house. It was like the first day he’d arrived, when he’d been so uncertain about coming, about what he’d say to her, and now he was feeling just as awkward.

Only this time, he actually had something to be awkward about. Not to mention something to say that he couldn’t even rehearse right in his mind, let alone out loud in front of Jamie.

It was getting late but the streetlights raised the canopy of darkness. She would no doubt already be asleep, but he was ready to come back and if he didn’t do it now he might never do it. He’d needed to take his time, to think and be sure about the decision he’d made, and now there was no doubt in his mind that what he was about to do was right.

Brett slid his key into the lock and turned it, quietly opening the door and shutting it behind him. Jamie had given him the key, willingly invited him into her home, but he still felt weird about just letting himself in and treating it like his own place. Especially after what had happened. She’d probably hear him and think he was an intruder, not expecting him to ever show his face again, and the last thing he wanted was to fuel her memories of what had happened in her childhood home.

“Just me, Bear,” he called out in a low voice, not wanting the dog to attack him thinking he was a stranger.

He walked through the house, flicked the light on in the kitchen, and it was then he heard the low growl. Brett looked around and realized the noise was coming from the sofa.

“Hey, boy, just me. It’s Brett,” he whispered.

The growl turned to a whine, and he stepped toward him so Bear could see him. His eyes adjusted to the half-light and he saw that the dog was snuggled up to, and protecting, Jamie. She was sound asleep, head tucked into a large cushion, blanket half over her, half over Bear. He knew better than to approach him too quickly.

Brett didn’t want to wake Jamie and give her a fright, either, so he quietly moved toward the sofa, pulled the blanket up to her chin without disturbing her or the dog, then walked back to turn the kitchen light off. He made his way in the dark into the living room again and slumped down in the armchair. It wasn’t the most comfortable place to sleep, but he’d experienced far worse, and he wanted to be there when Jamie woke up.

He didn’t want her to think he’d spent the night somewhere else, wanted her to know that he cared enough to come home and deal with what a jerk he’d been earlier in the day. And most of all, he wanted to be near her. This last week had made him feel alive again—being around Jamie and Bear—and he wasn’t going to give that up without a fight. Not to mention the fact that he’d finally been able to sleep since he’d been in her home with her. And if she asked him to leave in the morning? At least he could tell himself that he’d tried, that it wasn’t his own fear than had driven a wedge between them. He’d respect her choice no matter what she decided.

Brett was starting to be thankful that he’d had the glass of bourbon, because without it, he may have ended up sitting awake all night. But the heaviness in his eyes told him he needed to sleep, and he wasn’t going to deny himself. Not with Jamie asleep on the sofa opposite him. There was nothing he could do until she woke up, which gave him a little longer before he had to pour his heart out and convince her that what he’d said earlier, the way he’d behaved, had been him acting way out of line.

The truth had been how he’d held her in his arms the night before, what he’d said to her these past few days. Today, he’d just been plain scared, and that wasn’t something he would ever have admitted to in the past.

* * *

Jamie woke to the sun shining on her face and a big body pinning her down. She could hardly feel her legs. When she opened her eyes it was to a large black nose, with Bear resting his head on her chest.

“You’re squashing me,” she muttered, pushing the hair from her face, trying again to stretch out her legs and failing. He either didn’t hear her, or didn’t care, because he didn’t budge an inch and she was suddenly claustrophobic.

“Morning.”

Jamie’s heart stuttered into a superfast beat. Brett? What was he doing here? She locked eyes on him.

“When did you get back?” She hadn’t been expecting him here, let alone waking to find him in the same room as her.

“Ah, last night. But you looked so comfortable on the sofa so I left you there. Sorry if I woke you.”

She pushed Bear off and stretched, making an attempt to push her hair down, knowing how terrible she must look. She’d curled up without washing any of her makeup off, so her hair was probably the least of her worries compared to her panda eyes.

“You don’t have to make breakfast,” she told him, standing to watch Brett as he moved around the kitchen.

His dark brown eyes met hers, and she couldn’t help but smile at him. This was Brett. No matter what had happened yesterday, he was still the same Brett she’d always loved as a friend, and now...what? She didn’t know how to describe what had happened between them, how she felt about this gorgeous, kind man cooking in her kitchen. But she did know that she didn’t want to lose him from her life.

“I want to make up for yesterday’s lunch disaster,” he told her, cracking eggs into the pan as he spoke. “I know it’s going to take more than eggs to apologize, but it’s a good start, right?”

Jamie nodded, smiling back at him, but she needed a moment to gather her thoughts, to be alone. To deal with the fact that she’d gone to bed thinking she might never hear from him again, and now she was about to sit down to breakfast with him. Thank God she hadn’t woken in the night and tried to attack him, thinking he was breaking in.

“I’m just going to freshen up. I won’t be long,” she told him.

Jamie headed for the bathroom and shut the door behind her. What she wanted to do was sink to the floor and feel the cool of the tiles against her skin, but she also wanted to hear what Brett had to say. He was either going to tell her he wanted to go back to just being friends, or that he wanted something more, and she needed to prepare herself either way. She wanted him here so badly, but she also had no intention of forcing him.

Not to mention she was terrified of losing him as a friend.

* * *

Brett had been trying to rehearse what he was going to say, but the trouble was that he wasn’t entirely sure what he wanted to tell her. He put the eggs and bacon on the plates and walked them to the table, before returning with the toast and then the pot of coffee he’d freshly brewed. They said food was the way to a man’s heart—he was the hoping the same might be true for women. Or just one woman in particular.

“It looks great.”

He looked up as Jamie entered the room, watching as she first looked down at the table, then at him, before sitting. She immediately fingered the napkin he’d put beside her plate, as if she needed something to do, something to take her mind off what was happening or what they were going to talk about.

“The scrambled eggs look so creamy,” she said, taking a mouthful and fluttering her eyes shut for a second as she swallowed. “And they taste really good.”

“The trick is to not add any milk. Just whisk them all up and straight into the pan, and turn them off as soon as they’re almost cooked.”

“So you know more than just pasta and sauce, huh? What happened to you being a one-trick pony?”

Brett swallowed his mouthful and reached for a piece of toast. “One breakfast recipe and one dinner, that’s all.” He took a bite and watched her. “Now that you’ve tasted this, I don’t have any more hidden talents to wow you with. This is me going all out to impress.”

Jamie smiled, but before she could reply he cleared his throat.

“I didn’t cook you breakfast to brag about my skills in the kitchen, Jamie. I wanted to say sorry. To genuinely tell you how sorry I am for what happened and for what I said. I was a jerk and I never should have behaved like that.”

She shook her head. “You don’t need to apologize. I should never have insisted we tell Logan, not so soon. It was stupid and I have no idea what I was thinking.”

Brett put down his fork and leaned toward her, both arms on the table. “If we hadn’t told him we would have been lying, and telling him later would have been worse. He would have felt betrayed, so you were right. I just wish it had happened differently, and if I could do anything to change that, I would.”

“So what are you trying to tell me?” she asked, picking at small bits of egg as she glanced up at him.

“What I’m trying to say is that no matter how badly it went down yesterday, telling Logan was the right thing. He’s been with me, with us all, through thick and thin, and I don’t want to lose him. The way I reacted was unacceptable, but everything he said just kind of fueled what I’d been worried about all along.”

Jamie was looking at her food, eating little mouthfuls like she wasn’t really hungry, but he waited her out, knowing she’d look up eventually. What he hadn’t said was that he didn’t want to lose her, either, but right now he wasn’t even sure she was his to lose.

He picked up a piece of bacon between his fingers and crunched on it, never taking his eyes from her, and when she looked up he was ready. Or at least he was ready for the connection. What he wasn’t ready for was the bright blue of her irises, the way they looked as if they were bathed in water from the tears glistening in them, the sight of her bottom lip tucked under her teeth, like she was having to bite on it to stop from crying—it was almost enough to break his heart.

“Why did you come back last night, Brett? Was it just to tell me that, or something more?”

Brett put the piece of bacon down that he’d been holding and wiped his fingers on his napkin. This was his moment, this was the chance he’d been waiting for, and he wasn’t going to blow it.

“I came back because I was a coward yesterday, and that’s not the man I am.”

“I know you’re no coward,” she told him, a smile curving her lips and taking the sadness from her face. “You’re one of the bravest people I know, and the fact that you didn’t punch Logan back, and that you walked away from me? Neither of those things makes you a coward, it just makes you a person who doesn’t want to do the wrong thing by the people you care about.”

“I deserved the bloody nose, it’s not that, but walking away from you?” He shook his head. “That was the worst decision I’ve ever made in my life, and I need you to know that I will never walk away from you like that ever again. I was stupid to let fear stop me from doing the one thing in my life that I’ve never been so sure about. How I feel about you.”

Brett’s voice was husky, a deeper tone than it usually was. He pushed his chair out and moved around to Jamie, taking her hands in his and dropping to his knees beside her instead of towering over her.

“You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me, Jamie,” he told her, staring into her eyes. “What we did, what we’re doing, it might not have been planned, but I’m going to fight for you if I have to. I don’t care who says no and stands in our way, if you want me here, then I won’t ever leave you. And that’s a promise I will never break.”

Jamie had tears falling down her cheeks now in a slow, steady stream. “I only want you here if you want to be here,” she whispered. “I need to know how you feel about me.”

She reached out and touched just under his eye, where he knew he was sporting a nasty black bruise. Her fingers were feather-light, tracing across his skin.

“I’ve never wanted anything so bad in all my life,” he admitted. “Or anyone.”

“I can’t lose another man I love, Brett. I can’t...” The words were low, almost a whisper.

“I’ll promise in front of every single person we know if I have to, to make you believe me, but I will never, ever let you down Jamie. I’m here for you, for as long as you’ll have me. You’re my family, too, not just the guys.”

Her fingers traced beneath his bruise again before reaching around to his ear, then to the back of his head. She pulled him toward her and leaned close, her face only inches from his.

“I think I love you, Brett,” she whispered, tilting her mouth toward him, lips parted.

He didn’t hesitate. Brett closed his mouth over hers, lips crushed to Jamie’s and moving just enough, drinking in the taste of her, the warmth of having her body and mouth pressed to his.

He only pulled back because he had to, because he needed to tell her how he felt, too.

“I don’t think I love you, Jamie,” he whispered, mouth hovering so close to hers as he spoke that her plump lips just touched his. “I know so.”

Jamie held on to the back of Brett’s head, drawing him back to her again, her mouth taking his captive. He wasn’t going to stop her, but he did want to make things more comfortable.

He dragged her hand from his hair, lips barely leaving hers, and slowly moved them down to the carpet, tugging her down on top of him.

“Sorry about breakfast,” she whispered, as she put her hands on either side of his head to brace herself.

“Screw breakfast,” he muttered as he flipped her on to her back, so he was braced above her. “I’ll take you over food any day.”

“Oh, yeah?” Her fingers grabbed hold of a fistful of his hair.

“Yeah.”

Brett tried to growl but she just laughed at him and tugged him lower.

“Shut up and kiss me,” she said.

“Yes, ma’am.”

She laughed as he kissed the hollow of her neck, just above her collarbone, holding down her arms so she was powerless to move. His lips slowly moved up her neck, before settling on her mouth. His grip on her loosened as she submitted to his kiss, moaning as his tongue teased hers, lips soft one moment then rough.

Jamie pushed up his shirt, hands sliding against his bare skin, moving across his scars and up to his shoulders, then down again.

“That’s a dangerous game you’re playing,” he muttered against her mouth.

“I know,” she whispered back as she ran her hands up his stomach this time, taking her time so she could feel his muscles, exploring every inch of him.

“Do you want me to strip you naked here on the floor?”

Hmm. She did like the sound of that... “Is that a take-it-or-leave-it question?”

“No,” he said, nose against hers as he stared into her eyes. “Multichoice.”

She waited, his breath hot against her skin.

“The other option is that I pick you up and drag you to your bedroom. So I can have my wicked way with you there,” he said, his voice deep and husky.

There was no mistaking what he wanted from her, and she wanted it every bit as bad.

“I’ll take option two,” she said, liking her newfound confidence, that she could tell him what she wanted without being too shy. “It just so happens that I have nothing else to do today, so my schedule’s clear.”

“So I’m just some toy to pass the time with?” he asked, holding her down by the wrists again and kissing her, before hauling her up and scooping her up into his arms.

Jamie slung her arms around his neck, loving that he was strong enough to just pick her up and carry her, like he was her protector. She knew she could take care of herself, but knowing she had a man in her life who’d stand by her side no matter what was something she loved.

“No, I’m saying you’re my lover, and I want you to...” She didn’t finish the sentence, the heat in his gaze making the words stall in her throat.

“Lover, huh?”

“Unless you don’t want to be?” she asked, catching her bottom lip beneath her teeth.

“Oh, I want to be,” he said, forcing her lips to his in a kiss that left her breathless. “Just don’t expect me to let you out of your room anytime soon.”

Jamie pressed her face into his chest as he carried her down the hall and kicked the bedroom door shut behind them.

Last night she’d been miserable, and this morning she was so happy she couldn’t stop smiling.

Brett put her carefully on the bed and stared down at her. “I love you, Jamie,” he said, all hint of playfulness gone, his tone serious. “I’m in love with you.”

“I’m in love with you, too,” she said back, not hesitating, loving that she was hearing the words straight from his mouth as he looked into her eyes, rather than secondhand, as he had admitted them to Logan.

Brett lowered himself over her and kissed her again, softer this time, more gently.

It was time for her to let go of the past and make a new future with this gorgeous, kind man, and there was no part of her that wasn’t sure. She wanted to be with Brett, and no one was going to take that from her. Not ever.

* * *

Sunlight was pouring into the room, and Jamie was fighting to keep her eyes open.

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever been in bed at this time in the afternoon before,” she mused.

Brett laughed, which sounded like a weird kind of rumbling from where she had her head pressed to his chest. She was curled up beside him, the sheet half-covering them, as she basked in the way he was stroking his fingers across her skin. Jamie felt like a well-petted cat, so content she could have purred, loving that he couldn’t seem to take his hands off her.

“It feels good, doesn’t it?”

“What?” she murmured. “You touching me like this? Because you can keep doing it until it’s dark out, or forever, for that matter.”

Brett moved his hand to stroke her hair. “Just being together. Not fighting it anymore.”

“You know that Sam wouldn’t have been angry with us,” she said, wishing she didn’t have to break the intimate moment between them, but needing to say what was on her mind. Jamie pushed up and stared down at Brett. “It doesn’t mean I didn’t love him with all my heart, but I think we met all those years ago for a reason, Brett. Because I met two men I could have fallen for, two men I might not have been able to decide between if I’d known that you’d come looking for me, and it’s our time now. It’s never been right before, but it is now.”

Brett had an expression on his face that she couldn’t read, but she could at least tell that he wasn’t angry.

“I’m not scared of facing Sam one day,” Brett told her, his lips kicking into a half smile. “He knows I would have traded places with him if I could have the day that bomb went off, and by the time I do see him, he’ll be able to tell that I loved you just as much as he did.”

Jamie dropped a slow, casual kiss to Brett’s lips. “So are we just going to live in bliss for a while and never leave the house, take baby steps?”

Brett’s face turned more somber and he sat up and propped himself against the pillows. “I know it didn’t go well the first time, but I think we need to try to talk to Logan again.”

Her eyebrows shot up. “You do?” The thought terrified her, especially how things had turned out, what she’d gone through thinking that Brett had left her.

He ran his fingers through her hair and tucked a few wisps behind her ear, his eyes never leaving hers. “Nothing is going to scare me off or change the way I feel about you Jamie, but Logan is important to both of us, and I want to try to make amends. Make him see that this is real, that this isn’t something that’s going to go away just because it makes him uncomfortable. I want to explain to him why everything he said is flawed, why this is right.”

She nodded, sighing as his hand cupped her cheek and she relaxed into it. “Okay. I just don’t want to burst this perfect little bubble we’re floating in right now. I want to stay like this forever.”

“We won’t ruin this, not this time,” he said. “I promise.”

She trusted him, but she also knew how Logan’s disapproval could affect them both if it went bad again. “So if he punches you again or tries to make us feel disgusting for what we’ve done?”

Brett leaned forward to drop a kiss to her forehead. “Then we tell him that his friendship means a lot to us, that he’s family, but that we’re in love and we need him to respect that. We’re not going to change who we are or how we feel for anyone.”

Jamie found herself nodding. “And when exactly are you proposing we do this?” she asked.

“Tomorrow.”

“And everyone else in our lives?” she asked.

“We can take telling the rest of the world a little slower, I think,” he said, pulling her closer so he could put his arms around her. “Logan can be our first step, and then we’ll just take it one day at a time. Do what feels right, when it feels right.”

Jamie shut her eyes and relaxed against Brett’s bare chest, happy that it was warm enough that they could just lie naked, with only the light sheet covering them.

“You have a plan for how we convince him to see us again?”

He tightened his hold on her. “You can organize to meet him, say you want to talk with him, take the dogs to the river or something,” Brett told her. “No matter how angry he is with me, he’ll never say no to seeing you.”

“You sure about that?” she mumbled against his chest.

“I’m sure,” he said. “When I turn up, too, he’ll have no choice other than to see me, to hear what I have to say.”

“If that’s how you want to do it, then that’s how we’ll do it.”

“Good,” Brett said, hands stroking her back and disappearing beneath the sheets, against her skin. “Because now that that’s sorted, I want to forget about everything else for the rest of the day and just think about you.”

“Oh, really?” She laughed, wriggling as he held her, teased her.

“Yes, really,” he said, capturing her mouth in a kiss that made her turn into liquid against him. “And that’s only the start of it.”