Читать книгу Junior Year, 93-94 - Megan B. March - Страница 8

Waking up early to darkness that Tuesday morning, I sat up in a panic from whatever in my dreams had awakened me. Drenched in sweat and rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I looked around as the surroundings focused me back into reality. Jensen was to my left was lying peacefully on his side, and his slow and rhythmic breathing told me he was in a deep sleep and hadn’t been stirred. A rush of relief washed over me. My dream had been quickly erased from memory, but trying to remember it was the last thing on my mind considering the sadness and loneliness I now felt. I touched Jensen’s arm lightly to make sure he was, in fact, real, and then I pinched myself to make sure I wasn’t still dreaming.

“Ouch, stupid,” I whispered to myself, feeling a little silly. I laid back down, pulling the sheet back up to my chin and rolling onto my right side so I could snuggle up to Jensen and pull his arm over my hip. I loved being held by Jensen and this was something I would surely miss when he was away at school. He always made me feel safe and secure like nothing else mattered.

“Mmmm … what are you doing?” he asked sleepily while making his best attempt to stifle a yawn.

“A bad dream, is all. Don’t worry; go back to sleep,” I whispered.

“What time is it?” Jensen moved his arm up and laced his fingers with mine, pulling me even closer.

“Two in the morning,” I told him once I glanced over at the illuminated clock on my bedside table.

“Good, we have at least six good hours left to sleep. It feels like we just went to bed.” I smiled at his comment and leaned in deeper. The two of us had been playing this game of loving each other as much as possible before he had to leave, thinking that if we overfilled the cup, so to speak, that would help with the little problem we’d soon have called “long distance.”

Jensen had been almost marathon-like the last few days, although I wasn’t complaining aside of the typical soreness that came from having sex so frequently. In fact, I wanted Jensen just as much, and when we were together I couldn’t get enough of him.

“What was your dream about?” Jensen pulled me out of my thoughts, which was likely to his benefit since I was beginning to feel going back to sleep may not be what I wanted.

“I don’t know. I just feel a little alone and sad. Besides, it doesn’t matter since you’re here and that always makes me feel better.”

Jensen kissed my shoulder lightly; his breath tickling my neck and causing me to shiver. “Are you cold?” He snuggled closer to me.

“No. I’m very cozy.

“Mmmm.” He kissed my shoulder again, evoking the same response throughout my body.

“I can’t help it, it’s what you do to me,” I whispered with a smile as he nuzzled into my hair and inhaled. I could feel his erection growing as it lightly pressed into my lower back.

“I know. You have no idea how exciting you are.”

"Actually, I do; I can feel you," I teased, feeling his smile on my skin as he kissed me. I rolled over to face him and he brought his lips to mine. There was no harm in letting him think it was his idea to stay awake and continue the previous night’s activities.

It was about eleven in the morning as I shut the door to Alicia’s new, electric blue, two-door Prelude that she had bought the day before. She was picking me up to register and get our pictures taken at school. Jensen had gone home about two hours earlier and gave me time to give my hair extra attention. Clothes didn’t matter that much since they made all the girls put on matching frock tops for the senior pictures, but I wanted to dress nicely anyway for my own individual photos, which would be taken afterward.

“I can’t believe you bought your car already!” I said as I looked all around and touched the new upholstery of her Honda Prelude.

“When you know, you know,” Alicia confirmed about her new car. “I got the color as a tribute to Jensen’s old Jeep. And to tell you the truth, I actually helped him pick his Jeep out, color and all. It’s my favorite.” She carefully accelerated out of my driveway and we passed her house a moment later where there were more cars than usual in the driveway.

“Glad to see the guys made it over. Jensen needs to be surrounded by testosterone once in a while.”

“Yeah, I think I caught him admiring a pair of my mom’s heels the other day,” Alicia smirked.

“You did not, and don’t even go there!" I argued as Alicia let out a cackle. She seemed extremely excited to be registering and taking her senior pictures, more so than I was. “So, they say you’re not supposed to wear your hair in some elaborate hairstyle for senior pictures if it’s not how you usually style it,” I said, changing the subject and looking at the curls that I had put in my hair after Jensen left. They bounced along my shoulders and just a little down my back.

“Who says that?”

“The photography studio had that in their brochure, but I’ve heard that before somewhere. I don’t know for sure. I think they want us to look more natural.” I twirled one curled strand around my finger while looking in the mirror implanted on the passenger sun visor. Seeing that nothing was out of place, I flipped the visor back up. “Anyway, I think it’s nonsense.”

“I love that hairstyle on you, I really do. There’s just something about people with long, dark hair wearing lazy curls. I’m sure my brother would agree.” She glanced sideways, giving me a smirk for a second and then went back to the road.

“Did he say something?”

“Just that he likes when you do your hair with curls. I spent hours on mine this morning, so he asked if I knew what you were doing with yours.”

Not wanting to hurt Alicia’s feelings, I didn’t mention that her hair looked pretty much the same as it always did with just a bit more bounce. We continued on to the school and talked about those stupid smock things worn for pictures. Alicia laughed and told me how she once thought that everyone had to buy the same ugly dress in either black or maroon for pictures. Her sister Jessica had to set her straight. As if knowing what I was thinking, Alicia told me that we’d have to take our shirts off to put a smock on but there’s a room for that. And yes, I could keep my bra on.

As we drove on, Alicia had her lips pressed together as she navigated through slower moving cars. We didn’t talk again until after she found a parking space along the front of the school and parked.

“Alright,” Alicia asked as she took the key out of the ignition, “you’re going to wait for me in the commons area, right? I don’t think it will take more than an hour for me to register.”

“Yup, I’ll be there hangin'.”

If Alicia wasn’t very talkative in the car, she was the complete opposite on the way into the school. That’s just how Alicia was. One minute she was quiet, the next you couldn’t shut her up if you tried, but that’s what I loved about her. She had ahold of my arm as we walked, chattering the entire way about senior year and how excited she was.

Finally, when she realized I wasn’t saying anything, she stopped her rambling to inquire, “You’re so quiet, aren’t you excited?”

“I guess it’s because I’m not a senior, remember? Plus, I have to say goodbye to Jensen in a few days.”

“Oh, pshh. I have to say goodbye to James, too.”

“Yeah, but at least you get another week with him. By the way, he is coming over later to watch movies, isn’t he?”

“No, we have other plans.” Alicia’s eyes had a glint of secrecy.

Alicia and I never spoke about sex in a serious manner, but I was pretty sure she and James were that serious and had been since just after graduation. I don't think she had ever spent the night with him as Jensen did with me, but that may have been because he still lived at home, although they did go camping a few times.

“Mia, are you listening?”

I jerked my head toward Alicia, who was looking at me as if waiting for an answer. I had no idea what she said and she knew it. Throwing her hands up and looking to the sky like a fed-up mother, Alicia laughed, taking my arm and squeezing it until we got to the front doors. Reaching out, she grabbed the handle and pulled it open with so much force that it swung open and banged against the wall. I joked that she didn’t need to worry; the school would definitely save a spot for her. She only replied with a “yeah, right.”

At the far end of the commons area were a few staffed tables with lines beginning to form.

“OK, give me about an hour to get everything done,” Alicia told me. “I’ll also want to check out my locker before we take off.”

“Got it.”

Alicia left to take care of registration and catch up with a few people she hadn’t seen since school last let out. I walked to the back of the room and sat at one of the empty tables, not sure what I would do for the next hour while she registered. We decided beforehand that instead of waiting around for our pictures to be taken once she had finished up, we’d head to Heritage to grab mochas and walk around downtown. That was something that always fun to do, and thinking about our plans I heard a familiar voice call my name.

“Mia! Hey, what are you doing hanging out here?” I smiled at Nate as he strolled toward me from the gym. He was dressed rather sharply in a pair of khaki's and a light blue button-up shirt without a tie because he probably wouldn't be caught dead wearing one at school. His russet-colored hair, which he'd worn short since the middle of my freshman year, was almost to his shoulders and styled chaotically, like a rock star's. Of course he'd be registering now. He was an M.

“Hey!” I said, “Alicia is registering and I’m waiting for her. Then we’re going to hang out downtown until we have to come back and take our senior pictures.”

“Ah, that makes sense that you’re all dressed up.”

Glancing down and looking at myself, I carefully checked over what I had chosen to wear for senior pictures. The black, skin-tight lycra skirt, brown silk shirt and ankle boots I had on for the pictures must have looked a little out of place among all of the other students who were registering in their summer attire of short-sleeve shirts, shorts, and sandals.

“Do you think I’m overdressed?” I asked feeling even more self-conscious now that he had mentioned it.

“Oh, no, you’re fine. I just didn’t realize you were doing the senior picture thing today, too. Why don’t you hang out with me and Aria until we have to come back here?”

“Sure,” I quickly agreed, “but I’ll have to wait for Alicia. Have a seat and we can catch up; it might be a while before she’s done.” I glanced around trying to catch sight of her.

“Yeah, but first I’d like for you to check out the locker I got for us.” Nate pointed toward the double doors just outside of the commons area, which led to what was informally known as the ‘senior locker hall.’ It wasn’t unusual for other people to be checking out their lockers after registration as well, and this would be a way to kill some time while I waited on Alicia to finish.

Rising up out of my chair, I was reminded that I hadn’t told him of the change in plans. I followed him thinking now was as good a time as any to break the news to him.

“So, Nate there’s been a little bit of a change in the locker situation,” I began slowly, not exactly sure how he would react to the news. Nate looked at me and raised his left eyebrow. “I promised Jensen I’d share with Krissa again.” My excuse for changing lockers was lame, but it made Jensen feel better. I hoped Nate would understand.

Nate stopped short, rubbed the back of his head, and let out a laugh. “I figured that would happen.” He began to walk again, picking up his pace more quickly as he led me up toward the English wing. Once we had reached where carpeted floors began, Nate slowed down and scanned numbers imprinted on the metal doors. I watched as he dialed the combination on the one he had evidently been assigned.

“Geez,” I said once I took note of where we were standing, “I’m glad that we aren’t sharing. I should have known you’d go against my wishes and get a locker up here!”

“Hey, I couldn’t help it.” Nate turned to the last number of the combination and pulled the latch open. He looked inside and then slammed it shut after seeing that it was pretty much the same as last year’s locker. I smiled to myself seeing him do this. I never could really understand the desire to have a certain locker, as they were all the same as far as the eye could see. Although some probably did come with odors from previous students leaving forgotten lunch bags or sweat-stained gym clothes long overdue for a good washing. Some wings, on the other hand, were decorated much nicer with carpet to sit on like those in the English wing, or were easier to maneuver through and seemed less crowded. That’s what getting the ideal locker usually meant to an upperclassman.

“Is Aria coming to get you now?” I asked to change the subject. He hadn’t said anything as far as where Aria was so I thought maybe she had dropped him off for registration.

“Nah, I drove. I’ll go pick her up. Where are you and Alicia going to be?”

“We figured we’d start out at Heritage and then go from there. She thinks she’ll be about an hour waiting in line.”

“It’ll be more like thirty minutes,” Nate said bluntly. “So … where’s Jensen?” Now he sounded a little too curious.

“He’s hanging out with the guys today. I can’t deny him spending time with his best friends since they won’t see each other much with college and all coming up.”

"That can be a dangerous combination.” I rolled my eyes at him, but I could tell he was only joking. “Alright,” Nate said, “let me go get Aria and we’ll meet you there.”

“Deal.” Nate touched my arm and headed off without another word.

Alone again, I glanced at my watch which told me, if Nate’s calculations were right, that Alicia would officially be a senior and ready to head off to Heritage in about ten minutes. I slowly walked back to the commons area that now filled with other students and somehow found an empty table nestled in a corner. From there I sat and people-watched until she came out. There were a few faces I knew by sight and people I visited with until Alicia came bounding toward me waving a small slip of paper. I could only guess it was her locker information.

“Let’s check out my locker before we leave,” she said, out of breath.

Getting up from the table, I followed her quick pace through the same open double doors that Nate and I had gone through before. Her new locker was in the English wing as well, although it turned out to have linoleum in front of it and not carpet. Alicia was not happy about that.

“Well that sucks,” she complained as we walked up to the newly assigned locker. “You know how I like carpet.”

“Yeah. Nate lucked out and got one. Did you see him?” I asked.

“No, I missed him. How do you know he got a carpet locker?”

“I killed some time and checked it out with him before he took off to pick up Aria. He said they’d meet us at Heritage.” I pointed to where Nate’s locker now was.

“So, that means you’re up here too, right? You two are sharing? Don’t even tell me how you got my brother to agree to that one.”

“Well,” I started, rolling my eyes.

“Oh … I know that sound!” Alicia interjected. She knew Jensen too well.

“Yeah, it’s a long story. I’ll be sharing with Krissa.”

Alicia gave me a knowing look and grabbed hold of my arm, pulling me along with her to the stairs. “Jensen being gone will not be that bad, really. At least not here at school where I think he’s more of a distraction than anything.”

“Maybe.” I wasn’t sure I agreed with her and chose to focus on the time between now and when pictures were scheduled to be taken. “So, what else are we going to do downtown?” I glanced at my watch. “We have three hours or so before senior pictures. Can’t do anything that will mess up my hair too much.”

“No, Mia, nothing that will mess up your hair.” Alicia rolled her eyes and jabbed me with her arm.

Nate and Aria had already arrived at Heritage by the time we had gotten there. As we opened the door to enter the café, I saw them seated near the front window sharing a chocolate chip scone with two mochas in front of them. Alicia and I followed suit and ordered the same before going over and sitting down with them.

“I feel so left out,” Aria frowned and said. “You guys are going to do the senior picture thing and I’m not.” She looked up at Nate and stuck her pouty lip out, at which point he took her face in his hands and kissed her until she smiled. This was Aria’s way of getting attention, and she had learned to do it quite well to her advantage.

“So,” Aria embarrassingly asked when Nate let her go, “when does James leave?” She took a sip of mocha.

“Next week,” Alicia replied in a soft voice.

“And your fiancé leaves on Friday?” Aria asked, with a little too much emphasis on fiancé.

“Yes, Jensen leaves on Friday. It feels weird to refer to him as my fiancé.”

“Well, you two are engaged, aren’t you? That’s what you should call each other.” Hmmm … Aria’s still upset about the news, I guess.

“I’m sure the word boyfriend or girlfriend is just fine,” Nate countered. Aria gave him a pointed look and he shrugged and then focused on his mocha.

“What classes are you taking, Aria?” Alicia tried moving the conversation away from the current topic, which apparently worked because Aria chattered on about which subjects she had chosen, including a run-down of the teachers she hoped she ended up with.

After a semi-awkward time at Heritage, we all walked along Front Street and window-shopped at some of the stores. Thankfully, Aria was only able to stay for a half-hour before Nate took her home. We bid them goodbye and made our way over to where cruise ships docked twice a month and let passengers off to overrun shops and restaurants in the area. There we found a vacant bench, choosing to sit and bask in the remaining summer sun.

“What’s the deal with you and Aria?” Alicia asked. “You two haven’t been very close for a while.”

“Yeah, it dates back to freshmen year with Jack’s expulsion when he punched Kyle.” That was a name I tried to forget.

“She still blames you for that?”

“I guess.” I closed my eyes and leaned my head back.

“I think there’s more,” Alicia stated.

I opened my eyes and looked at her, waiting for an explanation. When it was obvious she wasn’t going to be forthcoming, I probed further and asked what she meant.

“Well, I would never tell Jensen this, but it seems like Nate still likes you. I think Aria knows it and she’s jealous. You didn’t see it because you were looking at me when they kissed at Heritage, but he did a quick sideways glance at you. Almost like he wanted to make sure you saw it. The whole thing was a little strange.”

“Shit. Thanks for not telling Jensen. He’s jealous enough as it is, even though I think he has an idea Nate still has feelings. If I had known then what I know now, I would have called bullshit on Jensen when he said he wasn't a jealous guy.”

“Well, he certainly has reason to be, doesn't he? It’s probably a good that you and Nate aren’t sharing a locker. That would likely create more drama than you need.”

“Yeah, you’re right about that," I agreed. Abandoning the topic, I continued, "Do you think you’ll get senioritis like so many seniors do? I’m freaked I’ll start slacking off and get it.”

“Nah, no one in my family seemed to get it. I’m not worried and you shouldn’t be, either. If you feel it coming on, let me know. I’ll kick your butt so you don’t mess up your grades.”

“You sure do take care of me, don’t you?” I said with a laugh.

Smiling, I sat upon the wooden bench and leaned my head back, feeling the sun on my face and thinking how nice it would be to stay there all afternoon. But then again, the sooner pictures were over with the sooner I’d get home and change to have movie night with my guy … and his friends. I tried not to think of his friends. Maybe Jensen would figure he’d spent enough time with them today and want only me tonight. I could only hope.

When it was time to go, we sprinted back to Alicia’s Prelude and buzzed back over to the school in quick time. Since registration was over, more parking was available and we were able to secure a space right across the street from the school. As we walked up to the front doors, Nate caught our attention by yelling at us to wait up. We stopped and turned to see him running bowlegged toward us. I hadn’t ever really seen Nate run and it was almost comical. I bit my lip to keep from laughing.

“Alright, let’s do this thing,” Nate said, assuming his normal pose with his arms around Alicia’s and my shoulders. This time we let him get away with it instead of squirming away. We were both much too excited to care.

Inside the makeshift dressing room, I looked in the mirror in front of me and adjusted the black smock, which was off-shoulder and sloped into a slight v-shape. Not sure if I wanted to show any cleavage or not, I probably spent more time than anyone else adjusting the smock every which way in order to see exactly how it would look in the yearbook. The amount of material didn’t really allow for much, so I finally gave up and pushed my bra straps down to make sure they didn’t show. A hair clip securely held my long bangs up and out of my face, and a few lazy curls fanned out across my chest. As ready as I’d ever be, I emerged to where the photographer stood and waited for him to tell me what to do.

“Any particular color you like?” he asked, taking my order sheet and looking briefly at it while his assistant pulled down a few backgrounds and did some test shots. I shrugged and told the photographer to use whatever he thought looked best.

The assistant led me over to a stool where I sat down. The young woman looked like she could be the photographer’s girlfriend. “May I?” she asked, regarding the smock.

“Sure,” I said, not hesitating.

She took the smock at the shoulders and lifted it slightly up. I must have had it too low. She then pulled back some of the hair I had carefully placed across my chest. “A little too much hair in front,” she said before winking at me and moving out of the frame.

The photographer stood to the side of the camera, lifted his hand and told me to give a big smile. I always hated taking pictures where you had to smile on command, and today was no different. My smiles always looked forced or fake. I tried to think of something funny so it would be somewhat real, and the only thing that popped into my head at that moment was Nate’s ambling run toward Alicia and me earlier.

“Great smile! Keep it there while we change the background color.” The photographer’s assistant was quick as she changed the background from white, to blue, and then finally to red as the photographer snapped away with each new background.

“Alright, go ahead and change out of that and back into your regular clothes and we’ll do your other pictures. It looks like you wanted blue, red, and the book background?” the assistant asked, looking at my form.

My mind seemed blank with what I chose, so I just nodded as I stood up from the chair and headed to the makeshift dressing room again where I was much quicker getting out of the smock than I was getting into it. Glad that I had chosen a button-up shirt, I carefully lifted the smock up and over my hair and replaced it with my silk shirt. My hair was still intact. I quickly tucked the shirt into my skirt and then pulled the sides out a little. Damn skirt was skin tight and showed every little thing underneath. Checking myself in the mirror to make sure the lines of my shirt couldn’t be seen, I came out of the changing room to a completely different scene. The stool I had sat on earlier was now in front of a little table with a mirror on it, and a fake rose-looking flower was next to the mirror. I raised my eyebrows slightly, not sure what I had signed up for with the props. The assistant saw my hesitancy and led me to the stool, explaining that they wanted me to lean over the mirror and clasp my fingers together with my chin resting on top of my hands. Hoping the picture wouldn't look stupid, I sat down and did as the assistant asked. Once I was in position, she slid the fake flower under my hands. I felt like the picture was a little cliché, but they’re the experts. Right?

“Just a little bit of your curls,” the assistant said, pulling one or two big, lazy curls over my right shoulder. The woman caught sight of my ring. “Wow, that’s a beautiful ring.” She touched it lightly, reminding me that I had it on. I wanted nothing more than to pull my hand away and hide it out of embarrassment. “Did your parents give that to you?”

Feeling that the assistant was totally off base by her asking, I lied and said yes. I realized right then and there that I needed to figure out what I would be comfortable saying about being engaged once school started. That, or I’d chicken out and wear the ring around my neck again.

“OK, let’s see a great smile like before!” the assistant brightly said, stepping away. Instead of Nate’s unfortunate gait, I thought about the first time Jensen had proposed to me, which brought on a truly genuine smile of happiness instead of a huge, laughter-prone smile.

“Great!” the photographer prompted as he snapped away, “A few more scenes and we’re done.”

The assistant came over to remove the little table with the mirror and fake rose and changed the background to the one Jensen, Emery, and Jessica had all sworn by. The new background looked like a real bookcase in an old library with slightly red lighting that created a worn look to the books and the shelves they sat on. Satisfied that I'd made the right choice, I turned back around and proceeded to smile on command once more. When the last flash went off the assistant said to make my way back to where chairs were set up in the hallway. Alicia popped up when she saw me and unzipped her hoodie. I was wondering what she had chosen to wear as her shirt, but didn’t think to ask.

“How was it?” Alicia absently handed her hoodie to Nate, which he took and tossed onto the chair she’d been was sitting on. She wore a white, button-up shirt that looked like crepe paper with black flowers made out of lace. I couldn’t help but think how very classy she would have looked if she had worn a black pencil skirt instead of jeans.

“It went fine. Your family was right, the book background is cool. They did that one last, by the way. Oh,” I added, “and there are props.”

“Props? What kind of props?” Alicia wondered just as they called her name.

“You’ll see,” I teased as she lingered for a slight second and then went into the little room. I sat down by Nate and told him about posing on the mirrored table with the fake rose.

“It sounds stupid, but I’m sure it will look cool." Nate settled back in his chair.

Not wanting to spend any more time talking about the props, I changed the subject. “I did get the first comment on my ring.” I looked down and flipped it around my finger so the diamond faced down and didn’t show.

“Oh, yeah? What did you say?” To my surprise, Nate grabbed my hand and flipped the ring back up so he could get a better look. “I didn’t get to see it the other day," he explained before I was about to pull my hand away. He studied it and let out a low whistle, causing some of the other people to look at us. I pulled my hand away and sat on it.

“As you can probably guess, I’m feeling a little self-conscious,” I whispered harshly. “Nobody gets engaged in high school!”

“So, are you rethinking it?” Nate wondered, tilting his head.

I couldn’t help but catch a slight excitement in his voice. “Of course not, I just need to figure out what to tell people.”

“Well, you better figure it out quick. School starts soon. You might want to just go with the truth and own it, sista’.” It was a line that would have brought on laughter, especially given who was saying it, but he was one-hundred-percent serious. "By the way, you look really good today. I don't think I've seen you wear that skirt before. Looks amazing on you."

I could feel my face flush with embarrassment at his blatant comment. I mumbled a "thank you" and told him that I'd worn it a few times at school before and then changed the subject to what classes he was taking.

About ten minutes later, Alicia emerged and we bid Nate good luck as he walked in to get his photos taken. I couldn’t wait to ask when he was done how they made the guys look like they were wearing tuxes. I’d never thought to ask Jensen.

“You’re right about the books,” Alicia said as he took her seat. “That background looked the best, and as it turned out I didn’t have to do the table with the fake rose thing. I just told them I wasn’t up for it.”

“I never thought to say I didn’t want to do that pose,” I said, biting my lip. Now I was regretting getting that picture because I was sure it would look stupid.

Alicia went on to say that she liked the blue background best, even though the white one probably went better with what she was wearing. When it came to the smock she had the same problem I did and wasn’t sure how much cleavage to show. I had to laugh.

“I pulled it down about as far as it would go,” I said, “and I guess it wasn’t conservative enough because the woman pulled it back up. Not that I would really have to worry about showing too much off,” I added.

“I’m sure you’re enough for my brother,” Alicia joked.

My face turned red. “Alicia!” I whispered loudly, looking at other people around us to see if they had heard what she said.

“Sorry, bad joke. If it makes you feel better, I know mine are enough for James.” She gave me a look and slightly smiled.

Shaking my head at her and raising my eyebrows, I murmured, "Well, I'm no Alyna, but that’s alright."

“Hers are probably fake since her D's are obviously way too big for her body.”

Idly, I wondered how she knew they were D's, but decided not to ask.