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WEEKEND FORECAST THE BUCKLE HOUSEHOLD 529 IRVING DRIVE

ALERT: Rapidly Developing Class 3 Marital Storm Saturday AM

Windchill: Cold. Extremely cold. Freezing out husband while trying to pretend nothing is wrong.

Hi: Making it through day without screaming.

Lo: Head in hands. Soft moaning. Constant bouts of shame and mortification imagining KKM employees emailing Cialis video to hundreds of friends and said video then going viral.

Visibility: Limited. Refuse to look above husband’s jaw in order to avoid eye contact.

Share Weather: send to nedrar@gmail.com

Instant Message from nedrar@gmail.com

Nedra: Poor William!

Alice: Poor William? Poor me!

Nedra: This is what you get for going behind William’s back.

Alice: Did you even watch the video?

Nedra: Want my advice?

Alice: That depends. What will it cost me?

Nedra: Forget you ever saw it.

Saturday PM

Heat Index: Very High. Boiling hot.

Hi: Sitting on the couch watching Masterpiece Theatre.

Lo: Mentally trying to count the number of times we’ve had sex in the past twenty years while pretending to watch Masterpiece Theatre. Can’t do sums in head. Use fingers to add. Estimate 859. What’s wrong with that?

Visibility: Poor to none. Dense fog while trying to guess the number of times we’ll have sex in the next twenty years.

Share Weather: send to nedrar@gmail.com

Instant Message from nedrar@gmail.com

Nedra: Do not withhold sex.

Alice: Why not?

Nedra: This is not about sex.

Alice: What’s it about?

Nedra: Intimacy. There’s a difference.

Alice: What do you suggest?

Nedra: Reach out to him.

Alice: What kind of a divorce lawyer are you?

Sunday PM

Wind: Calming.

Hi: Horoscope says unexpected romance on its way.

Lo: Viewing Cialis video for the eighth time. In my defense, repeated viewings of video are the best way to desensitize myself to the horrific public humiliation inflicted by my husband. I think I deserve a medal. I tell my family I deserve a medal. For what, they ask.

Drought Conditions: Improving. I sat next to him on the couch.

Share Weather: Send to nedrar@gmail.com

Instant Message from nedrar@gmail.com

Nedra: Did you delete the bloody video?

Alice: Yes.

Nedra: Good girl. Now move on.

Alice: Horoscope says romance is on the way.

Nedra: Sure it is, sweetheart.

Alice: I just have to be patient.

Nedra You have it good. You know that, don’t you?

Alice: Being patient is not easy for a Virgo.

Nedra: Or a divorce lawyer. CU.