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The Arc of Transition

“I always tell other hockey players who I run into, to retire to something. I don’t care what it is, but you’ve got to retire to something.”

—MIKE HOUGH, HOCKEY PLAYER

Most athletes can identify a personal best—a moment of peak performance when their entire being swells with pride knowing they’ve achieved that obsessive dream they’ve nurtured since childhood. The route to these pinnacle moments of achievement, the adjustment to a life post-sport, and the subsequent movement toward a personal next is a common journey that all lifelong high performers travel.

As I carefully combed through the many interviews I conducted, the “arc of transition” revealed itself clearly. This arc is a visual representation of the trajectory of many high achievers, and in particular it represents that of athletes. The arc slopes upward to the experience of peak achievements, down through the inevitable movement away from those achievements, and back up again with the discovery of a new path. When I look at this arc, I see the reclining body of an athlete (perhaps a freestyle swimmer in mid-stroke), probably because the body and its movement affect how I, as an athlete myself, think about the world. The beginning and the end of the arc are open-ended to illustrate that in life we all go through many cycles of the arc of transition. For the purposes of this book, the arc is marked by nine key points.

1. Testing the Waters

For athletes, this point includes formative influences—family and culture, coaches, the sports environment—as they venture into a new arena. For other people, this point might represent undertaking a new career, testing out an interest, or beginning a new relationship.

2. All-In

The concept of all-in encompasses the joys, pitfalls, and intensity of becoming part of a team. Here, athletes encounter the lure of an (addictive) culture, an organization, and the coach. High performers are wholeheartedly absorbed in their endeavours, focused and attentive, aware that they are worthy of success and promotion.

3. Personal Best

A personal best occurs when an individual reaches a significant achievement. Peak achievements may be experienced publicly, such as winning a medal or an award. But they can also be highly personal and private experiences and may include reaching a long-sought-after goal, perhaps in honour of the memory of a deceased person, for example.

4. Gut Checks

When athletes reach this point, they begin to reckon with the inevitable ending of their athletic careers, and with the results of their intensive training and lifestyles. Others might recognize this point as a feeling of bumping up against the reality of their current circumstances, such as being forced to change careers.

5. Unravelling

Athletes see the undoing of all they know as their world collapses around them, while their athletic mindset, developed over many years, remains intact. For others, this point may look like a specific aspect of their lives disappearing, such as a faltering relationship, an imminent retirement, children leaving home, or the death of a loved one.

6. On the Outs

This point marks the depth of the valley between a personal best and a personal next. Athletes recognize that their lives have significantly changed because they’re officially off the team. There is a range of deep and challenging emotions here, as high achievers process significant change or loss.

7. Shift

Shift is characterized by a switch in perspective. High achievers become more aware of their changed circumstances and might even embrace their new reality. Here, individuals begin to learn how to disrupt embedded patterns that no longer serve them or their movement forward.

8. Rally

This is a time of reinvention. High performers focus on self-awareness and taking ownership of the process of change to reshape their lives. They might get a new job, further their education, or develop new interests.

9. Personal Next

This stage represents the ongoing journey toward new heights of meaning that are different from those of the past. As high performers create new goals, they integrate their best aptitudes to fuel success that is new and different from what they have achieved before.

In chapters 1 through 9, we look at each of these points in depth. I recommend reflecting on your current situation to figure out where you might be on the arc right now.

NOT A STRAIGHT LINE

We’ve all been through beginnings and endings; these experiences are often entwined. One transition builds on the next and, within the arc of transition, there can be many smaller arcs within a larger one. At the age of fifteen, in 1979, even though I had only been training seriously for two years, I experienced early success qualifying for the Pan American Games. At the time I felt on top of the world and assumed that my trajectory would simply continue. Far from it! Similar to other athletes who are catapulted quickly up the ladder of success, I was naive, unaware, and unprepared to deal with the weight of expectations (mine and others). Consequently, I had trouble qualifying for a national team again. I began to see myself as a one-time wonder, a failure. I feverishly tried to replicate the formula for success from my past wins. In the midst of failure, I had many soul-searching moments and repeatedly attempted to achieve my goals using the same methods, only to discover that old ways are not always the best ways. After four long years, I finally regained my spot on the national team, but it was not without mess, chaos, and twists and turns.

In the arc graphic on page 11 you’ll see shadows, and twists and turns. These are meant as a reminder that, although the illustration is linear, no journey in life is. Often it’s only in retrospect that we understand this.

WE’RE ALL ON THE ARC

The entirety of an athlete’s experience through the arc of transition is a compressed version of what others go through, whether you are an opera singer, actor, homemaker, executive, teacher, or sales clerk. In a comparatively short period, athletes may reach a career high that might take others many decades to achieve. But we all navigate successes, endings, transitions, and repurposing. What often gives us the most trouble are the endings: the loss of a career, the acceptance that a dream may never be reached, a child leaving home, a divorce, the death of a loved one, a serious health issue that changes your life, plus a multitude of other, less dramatic events. In the many discussions I have had on this topic, I have learned that, when a life structure is removed and the definitions of your world change, the reality hits that “I’m not that person anymore.”

When someone or something important disappears from our lives, optimism, motivation, and self-worth can diminish as fear, loneliness, and insecurity creep in. Although we try to cope with an immense volume of change, we still need to complete our to-do lists and keep up with our daily obligations, even as life keeps heaping reality checks upon us and our identity unravels.

Navigating change, even when it’s anticipated, is tough. The more meaningful an experience, the harder the transition out of it can be. As we try to keep up with what’s happening, the rest of the world moves forward. No one wants to be left behind or forgotten. No one anticipates becoming irrelevant or marginalized. Yet it happens all the time.

THROUGH THE DEPTHS of struggle, most of us figure out how to relate to, live in, and come to terms with a new normal. But this doesn’t necessarily mean that we initially thrive. To truly flourish after having experienced a meaningful success is hard work and requires deliberate planning, commitment, follow through, and often significant outside help. Rarely do next successes happen simply by sitting and waiting for them.

Most important to recognize is that a personal next will not necessarily replicate the past. As we evolve, we need to absorb and work with new perspectives. When we strive to redefine what “success” means, we can fall into the trap of thinking our future achievements should look the same as the past ones. This is even more challenging if those around us also want to define us by our past accomplishments—what we were, instead of what we are trying to become.

The reality is that your future goals will be different from those in your past. However, you can use what you’ve already learned, the practices that contributed to your personal best, to fuel your next adventures and propel you to your personal next.