Читать книгу Money, Manifestation & Miracles - Meriflor Toneatto - Страница 12
ОглавлениеOur deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. . . .As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
— MARIANNE WILLIAMSON
I WAS BORN IN THE PHILIPPINES, the fourth female and last child, with three sisters ahead of me. At the time of my birth, my family was not rich, but neither were they poor. In fact, I come from a large extended family of professionals — attorneys, judges, engineers, teachers, politicians, nurses, accountants, architects, and so on. Yet the simple fact is I was born in a developing nation with limited opportunities.
Even as I put these thoughts onto paper, I wonder what my life would have been like had my parents not accepted my beloved aunt’s invitation to immigrate to Canada when I was four. That one act of kindness, and my parents’ calculated decision to uproot their young family and leave behind all that they knew to begin a new life halfway across the world, was courageous and admirable. More important, that one act of compassion profoundly changed the trajectory and quality of my life forever. I am eternally grateful to my aunt and my parents.
Although I do not remember the journey itself, I do know that my parents’ decision spared me from witnessing the daily realities of the extreme disparities in wealth that exist between the rich and poor in my birth country. It also saved me from experiencing the frustration of having untapped potential and unrealized dreams. Instead, growing up in a prosperous country paved the way for my many opportunities and successes.
Fortunately, my parents were both college graduates and able to quickly build a solid foundation in their adopted land. I marvel at the fact that my mother earned a bachelor of commerce degree back in 1958, when women around the globe — especially in a developing nation — were not widely engaged in higher education. From when I was a young child until she reached retirement age, my mother had a corporate career, and I believe her fierce determination had a huge impact on me.
Since I was seven years old I have been fascinated with money, wealth, and success and captivated by the people who have it. Questions such as “How did they become wealthy and successful?” and “What is the secret to a life of wealth and abundance?” were ones I often pondered early on. As I grew older, I became curious as to why some people were able to create wealth from humble beginnings, while others who had wealth could manage to lose it all. This fascination with prosperity stayed with me throughout adolescence and into adulthood. It was not a daily thought but something that was frequently, if quietly, in the background of my consciousness. It was only much later that I finally realized the real purpose of this fascination.
My career choice at the age of twelve was to be a journalist, particularly to do what Barbara Walters did — interviewing people, learning about them, and sharing their inspiring stories. I loved what Walters did; she was a true trailblazer who paved the way for many women in her industry. Years later, I discovered Oprah Winfrey and admired her inspirational way of uplifting people to realize their fullest potential and higher calling and to follow their dreams. Her generosity and philanthropic spirit are beautiful expressions of social promise in action.
Yet, though my parents did relatively well for themselves, one characteristic they were unable to easily overcome was their mind-set regarding money, and this mind-set affected me as well. They inherited generations of cultural beliefs and values regarding money, which primarily focused on fear, doubt, and lack. They were both very young children during World War II, when they endured hardships and were forced to go without many of life’s comforts.
I recall early on making a conscious choice to move beyond this outlook. Even at that young age, I knew there was so much more that I was meant to do, be, and have. I simply knew that I was not on this earth to play small, since I had a bigger purpose — although I could not have imagined what it was at that time. By the time I was fifteen I was ready to adopt a different view of money, one that was more positive and productive. I had a part-time job, which gave me some independence and some experience with managing money. But it wasn’t till years later that I fully realized that I had the power to release my family’s legacy regarding money, adopt a new mind-set, and create different results in my life.
Blessings in Disguise
While I was at university, like many young people, I went through a rebellious phase, which again changed the course of my life path. My studies were interrupted by big life events, and by the age of twenty-three I had undergone what it takes many women years or even decades to experience. I was married briefly, became a mother, got divorced, and was living on my own with my precious baby daughter. It all happened in a flash.
I had very quickly realized that I was living the wrong life with the wrong partner. During that time, I gave my financial power away while staying home to take care of my baby. I had to rely on my partner for money, which did not sit well with me. Within six months, I decided to leave the relationship, knowing that my and my daughter’s future would have been bleak had I stayed. Although my parents were generous in offering us a place in their home, I wanted to be on my own and craved freedom and independence.
Living on my own with a small baby in a large city was not easy. In fact, it was scary at times. I had a sheltered upbringing and did not know how to be on my own. I didn’t even know how to cook, so I had to learn fast. At this point I decided not to apply for social assistance. It was available to me, but I was determined to make it on my own. I also decided not to pursue child support. While not ideal, at the time I was only too happy to forgo these things so that I could quickly move on and secure my independence.
Getting a well-paying job was at the top of my list. Fortunately, I got a job in a research hospital after just a few weeks of looking. My daughter and I lived in an old but cozy one-bedroom low-rise apartment in an upscale neighborhood with a large park and a beautiful church across the street, which eased my mind.
The only help I accepted was with childcare. I was able to secure a spot for my daughter at a coveted daycare center because, during the government elections, I decided to leverage the campaigns and badgered the mayor’s office to take my daughter off the waiting list so that I could keep my job. She was close to last on the list, which meant months of waiting for an opening. Miraculously, the next day she had her spot. That was a defining moment for me as I realized I could manifest my desires by asking for what I wanted. More specifically, I realized that I was a powerful manifester and could achieve anything that I set my mind on. My “aha” moment was that when you are completely aligned with your intention and take action on that alignment, the Universe joins and supports you.
Those were memorable years for me. My entry-level salary was decent, but I was also left with high credit card debt and a student loan. I decided to take full responsibility for my finances, which led me to close my credit card accounts and pay for everything in cash. This meant that if I didn’t have the money, I couldn’t purchase something. It took me four years to pay off the credit cards and student loan in full; I had such a sense of accomplishment when I completed the payments. It was a good plan because I paid every bill on time, thereby maintaining a good credit rating — no credit card company or collection agency ever called me to demand money owed.
While I did not have much in the way of material possessions or savings, with just enough for rent, food, transportation, and incidentals after the bills, I was happy, optimistic, and hopeful for a much brighter future. An essential lesson I learned about money during this time was the importance of not denying myself some extras from time to time, particularly on special occasions such as birthdays, so that I would not feel like I was in a cycle of lack. This made a big difference in my outlook.
Mind-set is everything because if I had had a different perspective, things could have gone in a much different direction. In those years I never once thought of myself as poor. It did not even enter my thoughts — not because I worked at keeping those ideas away but simply because I never identified with them. This is a key outlook.
My perspective on my relationship with money during that phase was that everything I needed would be provided for, and somehow it always was. It was at this time that I began to make the connection between money and spiritual laws, which we will discuss in full later in the book.
A blessing and a silver lining was meeting my husband. Everything fell into place quickly, just as I had envisioned, including his deep bond with my daughter. Soon thereafter we got married and bought our first house. This gave me the opportunity to go back to school and on to graduate school, where I majored in social policy and management.
A Life of Service and Contribution
The idea of making a contribution, being of service, and making a difference has always mattered to me. It led me to follow in my father’s footsteps and focus on the public service arena. My work contributed to many initiatives, including Canada’s first-ever legislation for people with disabilities; creating equal-opportunity policies for disadvantaged groups; and helping women achieve financial independence. Over the years, I assumed progressive senior leadership roles with a broader span of influence and large teams, and I was managing and spending eight-figure budgets. My executive career in the public sector was very rewarding.
My relationship with money became harmonious. There was a consistent flow of abundance and blessings, which enabled our family to live comfortably. My daughter was happy and thriving, which is, of course, the greatest blessing for a parent. We enjoyed vacations abroad, a large home, and beautiful things and surroundings. By this time my humble beginnings seemed like they belonged to a distant past.
It seemed like a charmed life. The only issue was that I persistently felt like I was meant to do something more, to be more, and to realize a much broader mission. Although I had all the trappings of success, something was missing. My body was signaling me to get connected with what I needed in order to feel joyful, but I was too busy to pay attention. My days felt like I was in a scene from The West Wing television show, with endless crises to solve and meetings to chair. I felt driven to get results, often eating lunch late in the day or not at all, and working late into the night. While making a contribution through public service was a big motivator for me, it began to take its toll.
Life always has a way of making you pay attention, usually in a dramatic way. I experienced a turning point with my health in the form of burnout, induced by stress, which impacted my low-functioning immune system. There were days where I could not get out of bed, despite my best efforts. Simply put, I was depleted physically and emotionally. My quality of life was declining, and I knew that something had to change. This experience was the jolt I needed to reassess what I truly wanted.
This reassessment ultimately led me to walk away from a successful fifteen-year, six-figure career to follow a deeper calling. I had just received my postgraduate designation as a professional certified coach, so I knew the timing was perfect for a new adventure. I quickly decided to hand in my resignation, which shocked many people because I was at the height of my career. But I wanted to start a new and meaningful chapter and begin my entrepreneurial journey, so I took a leap of faith.
An unexpected and wonderful opportunity occurred shortly after I left my career. An invitation arrived to attend a gala event, along with my former team, to receive a prestigious award for our work making a difference in the lives of hundreds of thousands of children, youths, and their families. This award of excellence is given only to a select few, so I cherish it as the perfect ending to my public service career, knowing that I made an impact.
The Call
Life is like a beautiful mosaic in which all the intricate pieces of our experiences fit together to prepare us for the next step of our journey. No one experience is a waste, even if we regard it as minor or insignificant. My years of experience in senior leadership positions granted me firsthand experience of women’s empowerment and the importance of realizing financial independence and self-responsibility in regard to money.
When I began working with women as a life coach, I noticed that sooner or later, the conversation always turned to the topic of money. Money was a source of either worry or fear, or both. It seemed to be the key factor that people attributed either to a life well lived or to a life that was difficult and constrained. Somehow we started to equate having money with having permission to live fully and well.
As I began to work with women entrepreneurs, I realized that money is emotional currency for women and is innately connected to their sense of self-confidence and self-worth, and that these emotions are further heightened when these entrepreneurs are generating income in their businesses.
Personally, I believed I had harmonized my own relationship with money long ago. Yet when I became an entrepreneur, it took me back to my childhood and my feelings about money and past experiences that I had forgotten. I had to say, “Oh hello, old friend. You’re back.” This made me realize that there is always room for more personal growth and that this growth had to start with further healing and harmonizing my relationship with money. I resolved to work with top coaches and mentors, who assisted me in breaking through my mental and emotional blocks and resistance regarding money, helping me to move forward.
This work included releasing and changing my old money story, related to old habits of overspending, which had kept me stuck, frustrated, and disconnected from manifesting wealth in greater abundance. There was a misalignment between what I believed I deserved and what I truly believed was possible for me to manifest into reality. Once I started to believe that my ability to transform people’s lives and create a positive ripple effect was a direct reflection of the prosperity that could also come into my life, everything began to fall into place with greater flow and abundance.
Full Circle
Sensing a great need to help women transform their relationship with money, I began to focus my efforts on learning more about this captivating relationship, receiving certification and training specifically in the area of women and money, as well as creating tools and strategies to help women make breakthroughs from within. I founded my company and combined my twenty-year leadership experience, expertise, and training, as well as my lived experience, into expressing my life’s work. Today I am on a mission to empower women to rise and thrive as leaders, as entrepreneurs, and as professionals — living lives of purpose, wealth, and significance while being a force for good in the world. In many ways it feels as if I have come full circle. Am I entirely free of money-related anxieties? Certainly not. Nor are those with vast incomes. Here is an example: In the last season of her TV show, Oprah Winfrey interviewed J. K. Rowling, author of the bestselling Harry Potter series. She asked Rowling about her feelings regarding money, and her perception of herself now that she is known as the first billionaire author. Rowling noted that the great gift of money is freedom from anxiety, but given her past experiences as a single mother living on government benefits, she will never take it for granted and never completely stop worrying about it. Both Winfrey and Rowling came from humble beginnings, have attained enormous fame, and are self-made billionaires, yet they still think about the security of their wealth.
I believe that nurturing, strengthening, and being at peace with my relationship with money is a lifelong commitment. Some situations still trigger emotions for me; however, I have the mind-set, tools, and strategies in place to help me move forward with greater joy, grace, and ease than ever before. You can have this too. It gives me great pleasure to be able to share my journey with you.
CHAPTER SUMMARY
• Whatever your past or current challenges with money are, they do not define who you are or dictate your future. You are in charge of your destiny. You can make powerful choices to create the prosperous life and future you desire.
• You have the power to let go of your family’s history with money.
• You can create your new empowered money story and realize positive results when you start to believe that what you desire is truly possible to achieve.
• You already possess the ability to be a powerful manifester. Whatever you have in your life is something that you manifested — both the good and the not so good.
• When you are aligned with the intention of what you want to achieve and you take inspired actions, the Universe, through experiences, resources, people, and synchronicities of events, will support you.
• Be mindful and purposeful with money in how you earn it, spend it, and keep it. This will enable you to use money not only as a tool for fulfilling your goals but also as a force for good.
• Nurturing and strengthening your relationship with money is a lifelong commitment.
• All your experiences matter, even if you regard some as minor or insignificant.
• Your life is like a beautiful mosaic in which all the intricate pieces of your experiences, expertise, talents, and accomplishments fit perfectly together to prepare you for the next step of your life’s journey.
