Читать книгу Hometown Family - Mia Ross - Страница 11

Chapter Two

Feeling very out of sorts, Matt took a couple deep breaths to calm his temper. He wasn’t easy to rile, but the very classy Caitlin McKenzie had gotten under his skin in record time. Maybe it was the intelligence driving her sharp tongue. Or the way she had looked at him with more sympathy than he deserved. After his nasty parting shot, he figured he wouldn’t get any more of that from her. It was his own fault, but he regretted starting out so badly with her.

Then again, he thought as he approached his family, that was the least of his problems.

His younger sister Marianne saw him first, and he couldn’t miss the annoyance she quickly tried to mask with the smile she usually reserved for company.

“Kyle,” she said, “why don’t you and Emily go in the kitchen and get a snack?”

“Sure, Mom.” He spun his little sister around and headed her in the right direction. “C’mon, Emmy. Grown-ups wanna talk.”

As they walked away, Matt was struck by how much taller his nephew had gotten. Eight years old, Kyle had a longer stride than Emily’s, but he slowed down to match her smaller steps. Responsible was the word that came to mind. He had to be, since his father had taken off four years ago, just after Emily was born, leaving Marianne to fend for herself.

“The kids were great during the funeral,” Matt said when he realized they were all waiting for him to say something.

“Thanks,” Marianne replied in the clipped, polite voice she probably used on telemarketers. “So were you.”

“You sound surprised.”

“I was.”

“You’ve been on my back since I got here,” Matt shot back. “I came as fast as I could.”

“Maybe if we’d had your new phone number, we could have reached you in time to…” Her voice trailed off, and tears started gathering in her eyes. With a frustrated sigh, she said, “I think I’ll go see if Ruthy needs help finding anything.”

As she walked away, John plunked a hand on Matt’s shoulder. “Don’t mind her. Losing Dad this way has been real tough on her and the kids.”

“It’s more like she still hasn’t forgiven me for leaving home fifteen years ago,” Matt complained.

“Actually, she understood that. It’s the never coming back she has a problem with.”

“I was back for Christmas.”

“Not last Christmas.”

“I told you.” When he realized how loud his voice was, Matt notched it down. “My boss booked a lodge in Telluride and one of his friends cancelled. I’ve always wanted to go, and all it cost me was a plane ticket.”

John didn’t respond to that. His disgusted look said it all.

“What do you want from me?” Matt demanded. He had nothing to apologize for, and he didn’t like being made to feel otherwise.

“I don’t know,” John shot back, eyes narrowing to icy blue slits. “Maybe for you to visit ’cause you want to, instead of feeling like you have to. Now that you’re in Charlotte, it’s not that far. Caty manages to get here every few weeks.”

“I have a life, y’know.”

Swooping in from the side, his baby sister, Lisa, wedged herself in between them, snaking her arms around them.

“We all have lives,” she reminded them in her peacemaker tone. “But right now, we have to stick together.”

That got their attention, and they let the pointless argument drop. They’d replayed it a hundred times at least, and Matt suspected John was as tired of it as he was.

When the porch door opened, they all glanced over to see Caty coming down the steps. Wearing an apron way too big for her, she set down on a nearby table the tray of finger sandwiches she was carrying. She’d ditched the fancy shoes, Matt noticed. Her bare feet made an interesting contrast with the buttoned-up skirt and blouse she was wearing. He wondered how her hair would look down around her shoulders, curling around those sparkling green eyes.

Get a grip, he warned himself sternly. She was very far removed from the kind of women he usually spent his time with. Then there was the whip in her voice when she basically scolded him for being male. It stung more than it should have, and he knew better than to ignore it.

Now, though, she was all warmth and caring as she hugged John and put a comforting arm around Lisa. “How are you two holding up?”

“Okay, I guess,” Lisa answered. “I didn’t get to talk to you earlier, but I was so happy to see you at the service.”

“Ethan was one of my favorite people. If he hadn’t organized that scholarship fund for me, I’d be drowning in student loans instead of just wading.”

“Ever since you were little, he knew you’d do something important when you grew up,” Lisa reminded her. “Dad just figured he was helping things along. He said, with you as his lawyer, he’d never have to worry about legal stuff again.”

“He convinced a lot of people in Harland to contribute money so I could afford to go to Boston College.” She paused with a fond smile. “It was an investment, he told them. When they needed a lawyer, they’d know one they could trust. Most of them couldn’t afford it, but they gave anyway. I’ll never forget it.”

That sounded like his father, Matt thought with more than a little pride. His dad had a knack for seeing things in people that even they didn’t know were there. If he’d seen it in Caty all those years ago, there must be something to it.

“Did Ruthy put you to work?” John asked as Caty removed her apron.

“Just a little. How’s Gina doing?”

“Fine,” he answered smoothly. “I think she’s seeing that plumber who just moved to town.”

“When I was here last, she was seeing you.”

He shrugged. “Things change.”

“There’ve been at least two since her.” Lisa ratted him out. “And those are only the ones I know about.”

“No promises, no hard feelings,” John said with a grin. “Right, Matt?”

“Don’t drag me into this,” he protested, raising his hands. “I don’t know where you learned that stuff.”

“From you,” Lisa informed him curtly. “Leading by example.”

“Anyway,” Caty said, “I’ll be in town awhile. If there’s anything you need, just let me know.”

Her interpretation made Matt wonder if she was trying to protect him from another tongue-lashing. Considering the way she’d reamed him out, it would be pretty sporting of her.

“Tomorrow’s Friday,” Lisa reminded her. “Don’t you need to get back to work?”

For some reason, Caty hesitated before saying, “I decided it was time for a visit.”

While she chatted with John and Lisa, Matt was only half listening. There was more to her extended stay, but she clearly intended to keep it to herself. Matt knew all the classic signs, and there was no missing them. She was obviously close to his family, and he’d quickly learned she wasn’t shy about speaking her mind.

Whatever she was hiding, it must be serious. He barely knew her, but the thought of the pretty lawyer being in trouble really bothered him.

* * *

Around six o’clock, the last of the relatives left and the house was empty. After all the activity, the quiet rang with a sad finality. Caty was packing the last of the dishes into Ruthy’s catering carts when the Sawyers came into the kitchen.

“I just can’t believe it.” Sinking into a chair, Lisa stared down the table at the head seat where Ethan usually sat. “He’s gone.”

As she dissolved into tears, Marianne sat beside her and put an arm around her shoulders. “It’ll be okay, Lise. We’ll be fine.”

“No, we won’t,” Lisa sobbed. “We won’t ever be fine again.”

Patting her back, Marianne glanced at the far counter, which was still stacked with containers of food. “What in the world?”

“Ruthy,” Caty answered, handing over a handwritten note.

“‘The fridge is full, coffee’s ready to go,’” Marianne read out loud. “‘Warming instructions on everything. If you need me, call anytime. All my prayers tonight are for you kids. God bless you all.’”

Lisa sniffled, dabbing her eyes with a tissue.

Matt opened his mouth, but Marianne cut him off with a stern look and a quick shake of her head. Grimacing, he crossed the kitchen to get a glass from the cupboard and fill it with water. As he stood with his back to them and stared out the window, Caty noticed the stiffness in his broad shoulders.

At least his brother and sisters had said goodbye to Ethan. Matt would never have that chance. How on earth would he get past that?

Not that it was any of her business, she cautioned herself. He was a grown man, and he made his own decisions. Why he’d chosen to neglect his family was none of her concern. She wasn’t in a position to advise him and, even if she were, he probably wouldn’t listen. Only a fool intruded where she wasn’t wanted. Which reminded her, she really didn’t belong here right now.

“Marianne, could I borrow your van to go into town? They’re holding a room for me at the B and B.”

“Don’t be silly.” Standing, Marianne turned on the flame under a teakettle labeled Full. “You can stay here. We all are.”

“Matt’s staying with John, and the sofa bed in the living room is comfy,” Lisa added as she thumbed through a basket of tea bags on the table. “I’ll be in our old room with Marianne, so you’re welcome to it.”

“It’s been a long day, Caty.” John took the seat across from hers and opened a jar filled with Ruthy’s famous oatmeal cookies. “You’ve been running around helping with everything, on top of that long drive. Just stay here and relax.”

Only one Sawyer hadn’t invited her to stay, and the silence stretched awkwardly as they all stared at Matt’s back. He didn’t seem to notice.

“Matt, is it okay with you if I stay?”

“Sure,” he answered without turning around. “It’s not my house.”

“It is now.” Marianne pinned Caty with a hard look. “Isn’t it?”

“We’ll go through all that later,” she hedged.

“We’ll go through some of it now.” Handing Lisa a steaming mug, Marianne sat down with her own. “I know Dad redid everything about a year ago, and since you were his lawyer, I assume you helped him do it. Next week, I’m supposed to start prepping my room for my new class. Kyle starts school the week after and Emily’s registered for pre-K. If we need to move, I have to know. Now.”

Caty hesitated. There were good reasons for not releasing estate details so soon. Emotions were too raw, and people needed time to deal with their loss before they got practical. Another reason was that if they got caught up in the provisions in the will, they put off grieving, sometimes with very serious consequences.

There were steps in the process, and it was best to go through them in the order dictated by psychologists who were experts in the field. In a psych class, Caty had learned about Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, who put the stages of grief into a nice, neat list: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. The Sawyers were still in denial. Intellectually, Caty knew they should go through the others before she told them anything.

Then she thought of Ethan, how deeply he loved his family. He wouldn’t want Marianne and her kids worrying about where they were going to live.

She began by giving Marianne a reassuring smile. “I can tell you all the buildings and land within three acres of the main house are yours. Provided you let John live in the carriage house as long as he wants.”

Marianne visibly relaxed. “Thanks, Caty. I should’ve known Dad would do it that way.”

“What else can you tell us?” Lisa asked.

They’d finally gotten Matt’s attention. He didn’t join them at the table, but he’d turned and at least appeared to be listening.

“We’re all here,” Marianne added. “And I’m sure you know the important things. Why not handle it now?”

Pushing aside her misgivings, Caty relented because she knew it was what her client would want. “Ethan’s major assets were his life insurance and the farm, which goes to the four of you. Whatever you do with it has to be a unanimous decision.”

Matt moved to the island and leaned in, looking like a drowning man who’d found a rock to cling to. With his bitter comment about staying away from Harland so fresh in her memory, she suspected that was exactly how he felt.

“You mean we can sell the farm?” he asked.

Caty circled the table with a somber look. “Provided you all agree, yes.”

“Well, I don’t want to.” John crossed his arms stubbornly, glaring at nobody in particular.

“There’s two thousand acres here,” Lisa chided.

“Twenty-two hundred and four,” he corrected her.

“With the price of land these days, it must be worth a fortune,” she continued. “You can’t knee jerk such a big decision.”

“I’ll buy you out then,” he insisted, looking to Caty for support. “I can do that, right?”

He looked so hopeful, she didn’t have the heart to remind him he didn’t have nearly the amount of money that would take. “If the others agree, yes.”

Marianne was toying with her spoon with a pensive expression. “If we keep the farm, who’s going to run it?”

“I will,” John volunteered. “I know every inch of this place, and all the guys like me.”

“Which is why they never listen to you,” she responded. “You’re one of the Indians, not a chief.”

“Dad must have had someone in mind,” Lisa said with a puzzled expression. “But who?”

* * *

Caty’s gaze landed squarely on Matt, and he thought his heart thudded to a stop for a few seconds.

When it started up again, he bit back a curse, because in his mind this was still his father’s house. Standing on the other side of the island, he was outside the circle at the table. Suddenly, it felt much too close.

“Not a chance,” he growled. “I’m not moving back here.”

“Matt, be reasonable,” Marianne said in that because-I’m-the-mom voice every kid hated. “Someone has to run this place, and Dad chose you.”

“We’ll hire a foreman.”

She gave him a doubtful look. “In the middle of harvest season?”

“You can do that,” Caty explained. “Ethan paid himself a salary, and proceeds from the life insurance can be combined with that to hire extra help. After twelve months, whatever insurance money is left goes equally to John, Lisa and Matt, and into trusts he set up for Kyle and Emily.”

“I’ll just take it out of my portion,” Matt offered. It would be worth every penny to keep his sanity.

Frowning, Caty shook her head. “It doesn’t work that way. Any remaining funds will be divided equally among the five of you.”

Matt barely stifled a groan. Without much in the way of living expenses, he could step in and run the farm for almost nothing. Hiring someone on such short notice wasn’t impossible, but the price was bound to be astronomical. If he chose to do it anyway, he’d be stealing money from the others. His father knew him well enough to be confident Matt would never do that.

While he searched for some kind of compromise, he stalled for time. “How much are we talking here?”

For the first time, Caty looked uncomfortable with the conversation. They’d put her in a tough spot, he suddenly realized, asking her to be professional while they sat around their kitchen table nibbling on leftovers. He could almost see the wheels spinning in her head while she shuffled through information only she knew. After a long silence, she finally answered.

“Half a million.”

Marianne gasped something incoherent, and Lisa squeaked, “Dollars?”

“Yes.”

John didn’t say a word. Rocking back in his chair, he stared across the kitchen at Matt, waiting.

The invisible noose was back, crushing Matt’s throat until he could barely breathe. They all expected him to backtrack and embrace the life he’d escaped fifteen years ago. Sure, he could do it, but it would drive him crazy, getting up at dawn every day for fourteen hours of backbreaking work that could all be wiped out by a single hailstorm.

He was not, and never had been, a farmer, rooted to the ground he walked on, worrying about blight and insects. Watching the sky and hoping for rain, watching the rain and hoping for sun. Just thinking about it made his skin crawl.

The last eyes he connected with were Caty’s, and he finally found what he was looking for. Sympathy.

“This is a lot to consider,” she said in a firm, gentle voice he was convinced could soothe a rushing bull. “For now, I think it’s best if you just focus on finishing out the harvest. There’s plenty of time for the rest.”

“I guess you’re right,” Marianne agreed, dishing up some potato salad before passing it to Lisa. “The kids and I have a lot to do, getting ready for school.”

As the conversation began spinning around the new topic, Matt mouthed Caty a thank-you. She gave him an encouraging smile, and the invisible band crushing his chest loosened just enough for him to breathe again.

“I’ll go pull your van in, Mare.” Without waiting for an answer, he grabbed her keys from their hook and strode out the side door.

Parking the van took all of a minute, but he wasn’t near ready to go back inside. It had been a long day of fighting against his emotions and biting his tongue to keep from upsetting his family. Deciding he needed some time to himself, he wandered through the backyard and over to the pond. He walked out to the end of the dock and sat down, letting out a long, frustrated sigh.

He was now one-fourth owner of a farm he didn’t want, had never wanted. At least the house was Marianne’s. He couldn’t stand living here for very long, but he knew he could never bring himself to sell the Sawyer homestead. It would have broken his father’s heart, and even though he was gone, Matt couldn’t bear the thought of letting him down. Again.

He heard a door slam, followed by the light footsteps of someone a lot smaller than John. His sisters would know better than to follow him out here, so it must have been Caty. As he scooped up a handful of gravel, he had to admit her sarcastic cheerleader comment had impressed him. In a classy, no-nonsense way, she’d put him firmly in his place.

She wasn’t like the other women he knew, he mused as he tossed a pebble into the water. Then again, none of them had a serious job like hers. None of them would have been at a funeral on a beautiful summer day when they could have been playing hooky from work at a lake somewhere. Lobbing in another stone, he watched the ripples work their way through the water.

“Hey, there.” Caty offered him something wrapped in a napkin. “I thought you might be hungry.”

Another stone plunked into the water. “Not really, but thanks.”

Anybody else would get the hint that he wanted to be left alone. But not this one. She actually came closer.

“It’s kind of warm inside. Do you mind if I hang out here for a few minutes?”

Matt shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

“Thanks.”

She sat a couple of feet away, not too close but close enough that he couldn’t forget she was there. He also couldn’t miss the subtle scent of roses that had come with her. Light and sweet, it suited her perfectly.

Man, he was tired. Turning into a regular poet. He waited for her to say something so he could tell her he really wasn’t up for company. To his surprise, she remained totally silent. Leaning back on her hands, she looked up at the sky while she wiggled her toes in the water.

For a long time they sat there side by side, not even looking at each other. Matt continued tossing pebbles, and Caty seemed content admiring the surrounding fields. Frogs croaked around them, intent on being louder than the crickets, and a couple of ducks glided past, eyeing him warily. They reminded him that this was their place, and he was only visiting.

That didn’t do much for his mood, and he whipped the last few pieces of gravel into the water. None landed near the ducks, but they didn’t appreciate the noise and quickly changed course.

With his hands empty, Matt eyed the muffin still sitting on the dock. Deciding that he didn’t care if she thought he was an idiot, he picked it up and broke off a piece. He popped it in his mouth and sighed in appreciation. “Blueberry’s my favorite.”

“I’m glad.”

She still wasn’t looking at him. He knew because he kept glancing over, and he didn’t catch her eyes even once. This was a new one for him, since women usually connected with him pretty fast.

“Want some?” he asked, holding out the muffin.

“Sure. Thanks.”

As he handed her half, her eyes finally met his, and he was struck by the directness of her gaze. He dwarfed her and hadn’t exactly been friendly, but she didn’t seem the least bit intimidated by him. The cute suit had some guts. Who’d have figured on that?

They munched in silence for a few minutes, and Matt tore the napkin in half to share with her.

“Thanks.” After wiping her mouth and hands, she stood up. “I’ll leave you be now.”

Her bare feet rustled through the grass as she walked away from the pond. She was a few yards away when he heard himself call out her name.

She turned, and a shaft of late sunlight hit her like a spotlight. If he were superstitious, he’d think someone was trying to tell him something. He shook off the weird feeling and went on. “You mind hanging out awhile longer?”

She took a step toward him and stopped. “You’re sure?”

“Yeah.”

She hadn’t pushed him to talk, hadn’t tried to be entertaining or lift his spirits. She’d just let him sit there and stare at the water. It made him wonder if somehow she understood how he felt.

When she sat back down, he realized it was getting cool and her pretty blouse wasn’t much for warmth. He pulled off his jacket and draped it across her shoulders.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.” Sighing, he stared at the house he’d avoided like the plague for so many years. “I wish I could’ve said goodbye.”

“You’re not just talking about Ethan, are you?”

Her perceptiveness was unnerving, to say the least. Avoiding her eyes, he stayed fixed on the house and shook his head. Then, for some insane reason, instead of leaving it there he started to explain.

“When I was ten, our mom got real sick. I didn’t know it then, but she had leukemia. She went to the hospital and didn’t come home. We had supper with her one night and the next morning she was gone. I never got to say goodbye.”

Caty put a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. He hated it when women tried to baby him, but for some reason her gentle touch didn’t bother him.

“That’s so sad. You must have missed her so much.”

“Marianne was seven, but John and Lisa were too young to understand. Lisa doesn’t even remember her.” His voice broke, and he cleared his throat. Even after all these years, talking about it was almost impossible.

Folding his hands in an effort to control his emotions, he stared down at them. “After she died, everything changed.”

He expected Caty to jump in and finish his thought, maybe fill in the blanks for him, but she didn’t. To his surprise, her patient silence actually made him want to keep talking. Hands clamped into helpless fists, he lifted his head and met those bright green eyes.

“The older I got, the harder it was to be here. I left Harland the day after graduation. Dad said he hated to see me go, but he understood. No matter what I did, he always said he understood, but I’m not sure he meant it.”

Matt had never shared that with anyone, and he had no idea why he’d picked now to bare his soul. Too tired, he figured, to keep his mouth shut.

“He loved you,” Caty said, rubbing his shoulder. “He wanted you to be happy. If that meant leaving home, he was okay with it.”

Matt wasn’t so sure about that, but he didn’t have the energy to argue with her. From leading his careless lifestyle to ignoring his family, he knew he’d disappointed his father too many times to count. Now it was too late to fix what he’d broken.

Tears stung his eyes, and he held them back with the heels of his hands. Caty put an arm partway around his shoulders, and he felt himself leaning into her. He didn’t know why, but just having her there made him feel slightly less miserable. The warmth of her went beyond the physical, drawing him in. When he realized he wasn’t fighting it, he knew he’d gotten way too close to this sweet, understanding stranger.

Angry with himself for losing his grip, he pulled away and got to his feet. “I don’t know why I told you all that.”

“Told me what?” she responded lightly. “We’re just out here getting some fresh air.”

Her smile promised she’d keep his emotional meltdown to herself, and he managed a halfhearted smile of his own. “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

He went a few steps, then turned back. “You introduced yourself as Caitlin, but everyone calls you Caty. Which do you like better?”

She shrugged. “Whichever. I’m not picky.”

After studying her for a few seconds, he decided, “I like Caty. Suits you better.”

* * *

Matt turned and headed for the house, leaving Caty there, wondering what on earth had just happened. While she’d also lost her own mother at a young age, hers had simply vanished from her life. Lost in an accident with a coworker who’d had a few too many drinks after work. Caty couldn’t imagine how difficult it would be for a child to watch a parent wither away from illness. Matt had been old enough to know what was happening but too young to accept that she was gone.

Always missing her, wishing she could come back. Tears welled in Caty’s eyes as she pictured that little boy growing into a young man, bitter and furious, desperate to leave those painful memories behind. But Ethan had still been there, along with John and the girls. The pull of the farm fought with Matt’s need to be somewhere else. Anywhere else.

Judging by Marianne’s coolness toward him, his solution had only created more problems for his family. Over the years, he’d probably decided it was easier to stay away than come home and face the music. Unfortunately, it had kept him from being there when they needed him, and he could never change that.

Guilt is a terrible burden to carry around, no matter how strong you are.