Читать книгу Stories I'd Tell My Children (But Maybe Not Until They're Adults) - Michael N Marcus - Страница 23

Chapter 16

Not the phonophonopheneloscope

Tom Dolan was a sadistic and egomaniacal junior high science teacher who made us polish our shoes before entering his classroom and forbade us to laugh in his presence.

The S.O.B. caught one unfortunate girl chewing gum in school and commanded her to wear the sticky wad on her nose.

Before a much-needed winter vacation in 1959 or 1960, Dolan gave us an assignment to write reports on the phonophonopheneloscope, due on the first school day in January.

About 140 miserable children missed sledding, skating and family trips, and spent their vacations pestering librarians with consistently negative results.

Back at school after New Years, Dolan announced, “I’m sorry kids. I made a mistake. It’s not the phonophoNopheneloscope, it’s the phonophoTopheneloscope.”

We wanted to lynch the bastard!

One student, it must be noted, surmised Dolan’s error and reported on the proper device.

Phyllis later skipped a grade, earned a PhD degree at Harvard, and became a professor at Yale.