Читать книгу Faith in the Journey - Michael Cohen - Страница 8

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One thing that stood out every year for the town of Barnegat was the school play that was put on. There was the high school play that was shared with other townships like Manahawkin and Barnegat. But for the town itself, the current middle school did one with their eight grade class. It was also a chance for the high schools to help them set up the play and even work with the young actors with lines. Adding in the joy of the holiday was the Christmas play done at the local church, St. Mary’s. So volunteers were always welcomed in each play. My dad wanted me to help out with one of them. He felt it was time for me to learn to help out in these times. I knew he hoped I would pick the church play, but I went to volunteer at the local tree lot. It was owned by Steve. He was born here, traveled the world, and settled back here. He was a nice old guy who loved to share war stories. He also shared his travel stories that left many wondering if there were some tall tales.

So the first weekend was busy and crowded as I was moving around, checking trees and looking to see anyone wanted help. Every year in the lot, there is a tree that is nicknamed the Charlie Brown tree. It’s the one that is smaller with less pines on it. Usually it’s the last tree gone. Well this year, it had someone looking at. I noticed the woman staring at, but because of the red wool hat, I didn’t know who it would be. I walked up and said, “Merry Christmas, can I help you with a tree?” She turned around, and my eyes met her eyes, the same hazel gray eyes I first met in the beginning of the school year. Never in my life had I lost my breath, but for that moment, I did. I mumbled my words a bit, but Jana spoke for me, well, to finish what I was saying. She was interested in the tree and wanted to buy it. I pointed it was the Charlie Brown tree. “Well, everyone should get love at this time of the year,” Jana said in responds.

As I responded that it was a tree, but she responded that all living things matter. She was right, and I felt good for the Charlie Brown tree. It was going to a good home. While she paid, I put her tree up on the car, a nice blue classic beetle car. As I finished it up, adding a bow to it, Jana walked up. “Thank you, and nice touch with the bow,” Jana said. We talked about school for a bit, but then, it went onto Christmas. She asked, “Are you going to the church play?” I responded that I don’t do plays. Her smile frowned a bit.

“I guess I can check it out. I mean you will be there,” I said. Jana’s face smiled again, and she told me that she had a part in the play, so she will be looking for me. Looking at her, I felt something magical; it was the only thing I could explain how that moment was. It didn’t take long for my name to be called out by Steve. I said, “Good-bye, Merry Christmas, and see you at school.”

Off I went walking toward Steve. I turned my head, just to see her again. Jana was in her car, and she was looking at me. For that second, the world seemed to be just us. But it was interrupted with a Christmas tree that I just walked into. Steve chuckled about that, even threw in a joke, “Wow, the tree should play offensive line.” I never let that one down. At least the evening went a bit smoother. When it was done for the night, I was tired. One thing about the trees, sometimes you get the sap on your hands. It was sticking a pain to get off, but I could live my Spider-Man dreams—sticking to the wall. This was also my first real taste of hard work outside of football. I worked the next couple weekends, right up to the final weekend before Christmas Eve. By then, I was all done with Christmas and Christmas trees. I was ready for the break from school but also a break from holiday cheer.

The night of the church play, the weatherman called for some cold but clear skies. The church was crowded, and the overflow was parking at the nearby streets. When I arrived, I was with my dad. He was all dressed up all Christmas-like and smiling from the idea of me in church. Even if it was for a play, he’d take it. I wanted to get out of going, even tried to pretend I was feeling sick, but I was reminded of my word to Jana. I found my seat, taking a look around to see who all I knew. I spotted some classmates, but no one I really care to say hi to. With my eyes scanning still, I felt a tap on the shoulder and turned around. It was Eric, dressed up in an outfit from the Bible times. “Just making sure you made it. You know, had to make sure you kept your word,” Eric said.

I had mentioned to Eric in class about my promise to be here, and now I has second thoughts about that one. Before I could say anything, Eric headed back to the stage part and behind the curtain. Then the lights dimmed down. An older-looking man walked out, decked all in Christmas stuff. It was the priest, John Carter. I’ve seen him some years ago but never really paid attendance to him. He looked like Patrick Stewart, gray hair around the head but bald on top. The only real difference was Mr. Carter wore thick black glasses, and normally he was in a priest outfit. He started by saying thank you to all the people that volunteered to help put on the play. He went on to talk about the play itself. It was usually the same thing every year, but people loved to watch it. It was a take on the birth of Christ.

This play showed the struggle of how a family had to leave to protect the birth of a child. “So it begins, the birth of a miracle,” Priest Carter said. The first scene then began.

Eric came out and spoke this, “In the sixth month, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin’s name was Mary.” Next, the scene opened up to see the Angel Gabriel.

The angel went to Mary and said, “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.” It took me a moment to notice that Mary was Jana. She looked so different with the clothes on. Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever. His kingdom will never end.”

“How will this be,” Mary asked the angel, “since I am a virgin?”

The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God.”

“I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May it be to me as you have said.” Then the angel left her. The scene went dark, and then the curtains went down. Couple of minutes later, the curtains went back up. The scene was of King Herod. He was sitting on the throne when he got news from one of his soldiers. It was a request from a wise man who was travelling through the area. He was asking about the soon birth of the king of Jews. King Herod lifted his face, and with a tone of anger, he sent the magi away.

He called in one of his adviser. “What is this story I am learning about the birth of the king of the Jews?” he asked. That adviser took a moment to think about his responds.

“King, there is a story that there will be born a child that will be the Son of God. He will be known as the king of the Jews,” he explained. King Herod’s face grew with angry. He had lost favor with the Lord. With a spare second, he sent soldiers out to find this child and bring him in. The scene went dark, and then a couple of seconds later, it was changed to a desert scene. It was about how the three wise men met up and talked about their shared story.

Each was visited by the angel and told to find the child. The three wise men walked and talked to those they passed by. They visited the local inn to learn it was all filled up. Before they left, the innkeeper mentioned a couple that was pregnant in the stable. The wise men asked questions about the couple. He in turn said, “I felt bad about not having a room, but I felt worse to send them off in the dark.” So he made the choice for the stable, while trying to get help for Mary. The three wise men thanked the keeper and headed for the stable. As the last one was leaving, a soldier spotted them. The soldier went to stop them; the innkeeper stepped in. He told the soldier, “These three men have traveled far, and I chose to let them stay in the stables. If you like, you can join them for the night?” The soldier responded with a no and told the innkeeper what he was looking for. The innkeeper offered to let the soldier to check out the place. He waited a minute and then decided to move along. The soldier kept is eye on the stables. As he thought about turning back, a fellow soldier ran up to him. He told him that a baby was born at a nearby town, and it was looking like the one King Herod was looking for. They rode off. The one wise man had watched what had happen and drew a sigh of relief.

The next scene was that of the three wise men around Mary and Joseph. They each offered their own gift. They also told their story, of why they came and the news of King Herod looking for them. The wise men got ready to head back on their routes. Each offered to help Mary and the baby to escape from the soldiers that will be coming. The scene ended with the trio of men helping lead Mary, Joseph, and Jesus out of the stable. Then the scene cut, and the lights went out. When the light came on, the group of actors and stagehands all were standing on the stage. Priest Carter came out and spoke, “This moment, this birth is what changed the world. This moment when baby Jesus could have been spotted, it was the power of God to protect them all. For this Christmas is the birth and birthday of the one who saved us all.”

He went on to basically do a quick service, and then it was all done. People started to make their way out of the church. I waited with Dad until the crowd became little. My eyes kept looking around, maybe a chance to see Jana again. I couldn’t shake the sight of her out of my head. I did get a visit from Eric. He made a joke about after this performance, he’s taking his act to Broadway. We joked around a bit, in a way to waste time. Then we said our good-byes. I walked to the car with Dad. We talked about church and the play. He couldn’t help smiling from me being back in the church, even for one night. I heard him, but I was not really listening to a word he said. It is funny that sometimes we do that to people. It rattled in my head later on when he was talking to Linda about it. I guess the idea of church wasn’t so bad now, but still the question is who is God and why should I care. It was something I spent the night thinking about.

When Monday hit, it was the beginning of Christmas break. I had already made plans for the free time. Some of it was going to be used for Christmas shopping and other days to be just relaxing at home. Later on that Monday, I took in a bike ride around town. I took to some trails that I knew would cut my travel time down. I got onto one trail and raced down toward a ramp. I had jumped this ramp many times over the years. This time, it was a different. I hit the ramp at full speed, only to have the wood break.

When that happened, I flipped off the bike and landed on my head. I also felt my neck take a twist that scarred me allot. I caught my breath, while feeling all the pain from my head to down my back. When I moved my arms and moved around, I at least felt that nothing broke. Being alone in the woods can be far scarier when you’re hurting. I took me time to get back up. I dusted my pants off. I then checked the bike, finding nothing wrong with it. But the flip scared me enough to walk myself home. I kind of knew I could ride the bike, but I guess the flip caught my nerves to worry about another accident. Almost home, I tried and got on my bike. I was fine riding the rest home. But I thought about the close call I just had. If I landed any way more harder or different, I might not have walked away from it.

The next day, I woke up and thanked God for being alive. I got dressed and headed out the door. The plan was to meet up with Eric for some shopping. He wanted to get something special for Tammy. They had grown quite serious as a couple. I was heading for the shops around Main Street and East Bay Avenue. Barnegat, being small, didn’t have a mall but had plenty of small shops. I always made a trip down for a the sports card shop. Jack, the owner, is a nice guy who knew a lot about sports. He was a former marine who served in WWII. He lost his right hand in combat. He told me that he saw a grenade nearby and tried to toss it from his company, but it took his hand with it. I always sounds true, and I never question his stories.

I was surprised that he knew some of the New York Yankees, like Whitey Ford, Roger Maris, and Yogie Berra. He also met some football players and one basketball player. He had several cards that were autographed for him. He never sold the Roger Maris card from 1961. Since I was meeting Eric, I looked around for him and to get my mom her gift. But I couldn’t help myself and took a detour into the Jack’s shop. I had a good collection of cards, with most of them in the recent years. I remember looking for the rookies and all-stars. There was something about looking at Jack’s cards; it was a step in history. My favorite card was a 1983 Howard Johnson rookie card. Jack had it, only one that he had too. I could get it, but it was something I hoped my future wife would get for Christmas for me, kind of a special thing that shows how much love we had. As I was staring at it, I got the tap on the shoulder. I turned around to see it was Eric. “You ready, buddy?” he asked. I nodded yes and said good-bye to Jack. Since coming from the Parkway, Jack’s was the first store. We went right into the next door over. It was a girl’s place, filled with plates, cups, and stuff for a tea party. It had jewelry from rings to necklaces and watches.

Strange as it sounds, I didn’t know the name of the place. I had to check it out and found it was interesting to be called Annie’s Tea party. I walked around, trying to think what was Eric looking for. I should have guessed it, as he was hovering over the jewelry section. Couple of moments of him looking and talking to himself, he pointed out the necklace he was staring at. The clerk pulled out a gold necklace with a heart shape design. He looked at very closely. The clerk mentioned since it was so close to Christmas, that it was on sale. Eric then asked my opinion of it. I said, “Do you love her that much?” Eric said that he knew he wanted to be with Tammy and have a future with her. I could see it in his eyes that was in love. I said to go for it. The clerk looked at Eric before getting the okay to ring it up. The necklace was about forty bucks, but the sale dropped it down to $25. Rather a one-stop shop for us both, I saw a little music box for my mom.

We were all done, and Eric said, “Let’s go to the Hurricane house.” We made our way down the street, crossed over Route 9, and headed on it. It was a normally busy for a holiday eve. We sat down and got drinks. Then the question came, “Mike, do you think Tammy loves me like I love her?” Eric asked.

My responds was, “Dude, you just bought her something special. If you don’t know if she loves you like that, then maybe you should get something else.”

Eric thought about it. He then joked, “Man, I was playing you. Of course Tammy loves me.” He went on further to tell me that they both said it already to each other. Then he asked the other real question, “When are you going to ask Jana out on a date?” I told him that it was not like that. Eric smiled and then said, “Okay, I got you. You never thought Jana in that way, but, dude, your eyes are glued to her, but okay.”

Eric also knew that last year I had a bad breakup with a girl name Becky. We dated for like two months, but she turned me down in front of the school. I had surprised Becky by not kissing her on the first date or the second date. I guess Linda and my dad taught me to be old fashion. I never kissed on the first dates and usually waited to know the person before we lip locked. Becky saw that as weak and had no problem telling her friends, who then spread the word. That led to her talking about it openly while in school and got some people to look at me differently. It was strange when that happened, the football team even joined in the fun of teasing me about it. I never quite got over that time. So when Eric brought up Jana, I responded by trying not to be interested in Jana. But I knew she was different. Eric broke the silence to say, “Hey, man, I understand what happened last year, but you got to be out there again. Life is more than sports. It’s about that love that is special between two people.”

He was right; I knew that. When the food came, the conversation changed to more about Christmas and the presents. I learned that Eric was quickly becoming one of my best friends, and I was taking in his wisdom. He was right about letting go of the past; Becky was old news. I guess I knew I liked Jana but was unsure of her feelings toward me. That is something that can drive a man nuts. I didn’t tell Eric that I was meeting up with Jana later in the day. She had asked before break to spend some time together. I didn’t know the reason, but I was not going to turn it down. I had picked up that she was at least interested, based on some of the looks I get from her, the stares, and even the quick look away when we made eye contact. I will admit the idea of knowing more about her left me feeling excited.

When I did meet up with her later, it was at the church of St. Mary’s. I walked up to the doors and went inside. I could see that people were setting up for Christmas Eve mass. I saw Mr. Carter up front talking over the plans for mass tonight. I will admit, it felt weird to be in the church. I mean I was here for the play, but that was well for that, and this was just church now. I looked around for Jana, trying to figure out why I was meeting her here. My eyes looked around and took moments to see how the place was looking all Christmas. Then I spotted the long brown hair that was in ponytail. She was walking toward Mr. Carter. I waited a second before my walk toward them.

She turned her head and spotted me. Jana’s eyes had a way of melting my tough shield down. I said hello to Jana as we met. She turned to Mr. Carter and said, “See you later, Dad, going with Mike for a while.” He replied okay and went back to his thing. I had a moment when I had to think about it, that Jana was the daughter of Mr. Carter. Oh boy, it never crossed my mind, something I always said in tribute to my favorite show Quantum Leap. Jana didn’t quite tell me what we were doing, so I was just following her.

We walked around to the back of the church and to the side building. This was the event building where they hold weddings, funerals, and parties. Sometimes they hold holiday events too for the kids. The place was built a couple of years ago, so much of it was still rather new. We walked into the building, through a short hallway and into the main room. There were some decorations on a nearby table. Jana asked if I mind helping finishing up the Christmas decorations, and it would let us spend time chatting to help pass the time. I was not sure I was up to doing this, but then again, alone time with a girl was not something I let go by, and I know that sounds bad, but it’s more about my thoughts about being judged. Becky really did a number on me. But I sat down, helped Jana grab some of the stuff, and started to work on them.

It was really stuff that was drawn up but not cut out yet. Some of it had to be put together. For a bit, there was no talking between us. The ice was broken when Jana then started with small talk. She asked where I was from. I asked where she was from. I learned in that time that she was born in Portland, Oregon. Her dad who grew up in Cleveland and was a pastor at a church in Portland when he met Mrs. Carter. They got married and had Jana. She was five when her dad got the call to lead St. Mary’s church. I told her about my mom, the crazy life before, and nothing much more since. My parents grew up in Asbury Park, both going to St. Rose high school, where they met and fell in love. Dad went to Seton Hall U, and Mom, well, she had me. Then we started to talk about favorite things. I love chocolate ice cream, and Jana liked strawberry, but she also liked mint chocolate chip, which is my second favorite too. We worked and talked about many things we liked. I explained my love for sports, and she told me her love for helping people. She enjoyed gospel and Christian music, and I was more of rock, heavy metal, and some pop music. Country music found its way in both of us too, which is interesting, since my mom loved, and I mean loved, country music.

As we finished up the stuff and all things looked good, Mr. Carter walked on in. He was checking up on us, but only to see how far we had gone on the decorations. We talked a bit, and I was asked if I was coming tonight. I shook my head. I don’t know. When he left, Jana asked the hard question. Why didn’t I want to enjoy the birth of Christ and all the love he gives. I let it out that I didn’t understand the whole God thing.

Soon as I was finished with my words, Jana had pulled out a Bible from a stand. She asked if I had read it, and I responded with no. Before she asked, I told her that I understood who he is but not the why he doesn’t fix stuff. That is the age-old question that all people either say or know the answer. Jana took it a different way. “Do you want to be in control?” she asked.

I said no back.

“Well, God is life and love, but he doesn’t tell you want to do, doesn’t control your life. He only gives you a choice. That choice is to do right by people or to do wrong. It’s not hard to see the good, to be the good, to be a light that helps people in their dark times. Maybe God is letting you know now that it’s times to be more than you thought you ever believe,” Jana said with a convincing voice. She did give me something to think about more. I have had a heart that tends to lead me to be nice, to be helpful, and to treat everyone like a brother and sister.

Somehow, Jana got my head thinking about God in a different way. I know Eric would be pleased that at least I could see myself wanting to know more. Jana asked, “Do you want to talk more about God and Jesus?” I looked at the clock that was up on the wall and saw it was almost 4:00 p.m.

“I guess it doesn’t hurt to learn more about it, but I had to be on the road at five for dinner,” I said in respond. So Jana and I talked about God. I learned much that time, more than I could ever believe. Jana talked so well; it was as if she was a teacher but so right on the money with her speeches. With Eric’s voice in my head, I thought, Oh boy, I really like Jana now, so much that I want to ask her out.

Before I could say anything, five came around, and I had to go. As I walked with her out of the building, I thought about mass that night. It would be good to go and a chance to see Jana again. So I told her that I would be there. Jana was excited. I felt her hand squeeze my hand, and as for a moment, we held hands. That soft hand feeling set an energy through my body that felt so good. We said see you later, and off I rode home. I ran my bike hard as I could home.

When I got there, I threw down my bike as I hopped off to hit the front door. My dad had dinner ready to go, and his suit was hanging up for tonight. We sat down and talked about the day. I said, “Dad, I think I am going with you to mass tonight.” He dropped his fork and looked at me with a surprising face. For a moment, he couldn’t believe it, but I explained more about the time with Jana.

My dad smiled and said, “Thank you, son, your mom would be happy to hear this.” Yes, Mom, was a church person, but she also believed in God in a way that got my dad to be a follower of Jesus. I almost felt a warm hug around me, not knowing that could be Mom. It is strange at times when out of the blue you feel something that is not there but could be. We ate dinner, and my dad helped me find a suit to go with his.