Читать книгу The Boyfriend Book - Micheal E. Reid - Страница 31

Option vs. Obligation

For me, why somebody does something is just as important as what they do. If you agree, and if we apply this thinking to relationships, then it’s my opinion that being in a relationship makes it hard for you to realize whether someone is doing something because they want to or because it’s what they are supposed to do. I believe that “boyfriend” and “relationships” turn what used to be an option into an obligation. Let’s start from the beginning.

courtship /kohrt·ship/ noun

Simple Definition of courtship

1. Somewhat old-fashioned: the activities that occur when people are developing a romantic relationship that could lead to marriage or the period of time when such activities occur

Source: Merriam-Webster’s Learner’s Dictionary

When you met a man, if the year was around, say, 1930 to 1940, the courting process would begin. This would carry all the way through until marriage. It was sort of like a man’s audition to be your co-star. This courtship has evolved to what we now all know as dating. The problem is, the dating doesn’t last as long as the courtship. The next stop isn’t wife any more, it’s girlfriend. This changes what a man does for you from being an option to being an obligation. This makes it more like work, and less like play. Where it messes things up is that a woman can’t tell if the act is coming from the kindness of his heart or because he feels like this is what he has to do, because of his title. No boyfriend, no problem.