Читать книгу The Jealous Son - Michele Chynoweth - Страница 13

IT WAS the best Christmas ever, Eliza recalled now, humming the holiday tune “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” in her head.

Of course, some of the lyrics seemed a bit ludicrous in Phoenix, where the temperature had reached seventy-three degrees that early December afternoon.

Still, Eliza and Alex Trellis had never failed to erect their artificial Christmas tree with the fake snow on the bough tips or to decorate with all the frivolity of folks in Rockefeller Center.

As she trimmed the five-foot-tall cactus that also stood in their family room with red and green miniature lights, she allowed her thoughts to drift back twenty-two years. Austin was just a month old and Cameron a little over three when their new family of four celebrated that first Christmas.

Eliza remembered clearly what Cameron had said after opening his last present, when she had asked her older son what gift he had liked best.

“My baby brover,” he said, grinning, sitting cross-legged in his pajamas.

Eliza had cried, sitting on the sofa in her pink, terrycloth bathrobe. Tears of joy in hearing her son’s words, and tears of sadness that she couldn’t be a better mom at the time.

AUSTIN’S difficult birth had zapped all of Eliza’s energy and strength, leaving none for her sweet boy Cameron. She had screamed in agony for at least twelve hours, the epidural failing to take, as the ten-pound baby lay breach within her, finally turning in the last few minutes to be born without a Caesarian section or anything to relieve the pain.

As if the birth hadn’t been difficult enough, excessive bleeding and a punctured spinal cord almost killed her. Suffering severe migraines for days, Eliza was barely able to nurse baby Austin until the doctor called her back into the hospital to fix the tiny puncture in her spinal cord caused by a botched epidural administered when she was writhing in pain.

Nothing went right, including the fact that she had postpartum blues for weeks.

“Mommy, will you play with me?” Cameron would ask over and over.

“Mommy can’t play, honey, I have a bad headache,” she would say, turning on the Disney Channel for him to watch, sometimes for hours, as she lay back on the couch, a cold compress on her forehead.

And Daddy was no help at all.

Alex worked late nearly every night at the ABC Oil Company in Phoenix. He was the fleet manager for the wholesale oil company, a leading distributor of petroleum products on the West Coast. He had just been promoted to the position right before Austin was born.

Often Alex was the last one to leave the offices on Grand Street, making sure all of his drivers were accounted for and the oil trucks had safely arrived with their deliveries. If there were problems––a client calling to complain about a late delivery, a driver stuck in a bad thunderstorm, an accident blocking traffic—he was always the liaison, on the phone with drivers and clients, making sure both were safe and satisfied. It fell on him to stay and help make it right. It got old, being a single parent. Eliza harbored resentments that just turned into numbness over time.

But they needed Alex’s paycheck, especially the overtime, since she was only working part-time from home doing data entry for a local accounting firm, and they had two little ones to raise.

Sometimes it all nearly felt unbearable. Until one day Eliza finally found relief.

THE NEXT CHRISTMAS, her friend Marsha Lake asked her to go to the local mall to get a new holiday dress.

Somehow Eliza had mustered up the courage to ask her husband for money to pay a babysitter for several hours. Cameron was five and Austin two, and Eliza desperately needed a break.

Alex put up a little bit of a fight but finally acquiesced, and always the resourceful friend, Marsha had given her a few names of sitters she had used in the past. She didn’t need them anymore since her children were old enough to stay home alone.

Eliza felt a little guilty as she kissed her two boys and then waved goodbye to Patty, the sitter, a sixteen-year-old sprite with freckles and loads of energy.

“We’ll be fine, Mrs. T, just go have fun,” Patty said cheerfully, bouncing a smiling Austin from her hip as little Cameron woefully stared up at her from the floor with his questioning, big brown eyes.

“Okay, we’ll be back in a few hours.” Eliza heaved a sigh, turning from Cameron, holding back tears as she heard her little boy sniffle as she headed out the door.

Her confident, redheaded friend had to practically drag her by the hand into the various mall stores, urging her to try on dresses she couldn’t afford, until she finally splurged on an outfit she couldn’t resist. It was a white silk pantsuit with a floral print that somehow made her look thin, voluptuous, and sexy all at the same time. Eliza beamed at her reflection in the dressing room mirror. In this outfit she didn’t look or feel like the frumpy, frazzled, bedraggled twenty-four-old she thought she had become. Sure, her long, black hair needed a trim, her skin could use a bit of bronzing in the sun, and her waist could stand to lose an inch or two. But in this outfit, she could see beyond all of that to the young, beautiful girl she had been before the children came along.

“You have to buy that outfit, you look amazing!” Marsha squealed with delight. Eliza did, charging the ninety-nine dollars to her credit card, once again ignoring the twinge of guilt that crept unwelcome into her psyche.

Her mood improved over drinks with Marsha to celebrate the “new” her. Marsha treated her to three large margaritas during happy hour at the Mexican tapas bar.

She felt so much better that when she got home Patty’s news didn’t phase her much—that Cameron had smacked his baby brother on the cheek, leaving behind a small, red splotch. “I sat him in time out and after that he was much better behaved,” Patty chirped. “Still, I feel terrible, but …”

“It’s okay, ish not your fault.” Eliza heard herself slur and wanted to laugh but was rational enough to know better. She scolded herself mentally and handed Patty two twenties from her wallet. “Thank you, Patty.”

“Oh, this is too much, Mrs. Trellis,” Patty objected.

“No, that’s okay, keep it, I hope we can get you to babysit again soon,” Eliza replied, her fog starting to lift a bit. If I pay her well this time, she’ll come back. And maybe she’ll overlook the fact that I’m drunk.

“Okay, if you’re sure, thanks, Mrs. T, see you again soon.”

It must have worked, Eliza congratulated herself.

It was eight o’clock when she arrived home, so the kids were both fast asleep. Eliza had just enough time to slip into the outfit she had bought, sober up with a strong cup of coffee, and brush her teeth before Alex came through the front door, as always loosening his tie, looking exhausted.

But his face perked up when he saw his wife decked out, wearing red lipstick and jewelry. Usually she didn’t even greet him, worn out herself from the kids, and was usually reading or fast asleep in the recliner, dressed in her worn, pink robe and slippers.

Without a word, she kissed him hungrily then pulled him by the tie into their bedroom, leaving him little time or inclination to ask questions or protest.

THE MORNING after was a different story.

“What is that red mark on Austin’s cheek?” Alex sat at the breakfast table eating his bowl of cereal as Eliza simultaneously handed Cameron his milk and wiped some strained bananas from the baby’s chin.

“Oh, that?” Eliza feigned indifference. “Patty said she thought Cameron may have accidentally hit his brother while they were playing.”

“That doesn’t look like an accident to me. Cameron, what did you do?” Alex addressed their older son, who looked at his father, his eyes welling with tears.

“Sorry, Daddy,” Cameron said in his little boy voice.

“Why did you hit your brother?” Alex asked, his voice rising.

“I was mad he was touching my things,” Cameron responded shyly.

“You meant to hit him?”

“Yes, but I didn’t mean to hurt him.”

“Well, it looks like you did hurt him, so you need to be punished for that.” Alex stood, pulled Cameron by the arm out of his chair, spun him around, and spanked his backside twice, hard.

Eliza’s heart leaped into her throat as her older son started to cry and then ran to hide in his bedroom.

“Why did you have to do that?” She turned to face her husband.

“Because he needs to know that wasn’t okay,” Alex said evenly. “And you should be teaching him that, not relying on some babysitter to do it.”

Eliza sat silently, turning to finish feeding Austin, her heart pounding.

“By the way, how much was that new outfit you were wearing last night?”

“I’m not sure. I threw the price tag away.”

“Now that’s a lie, and you know it.” Alex was straightening his tie in the hallway mirror as he talked, his tone tinged with anger, his face turning red. “You know we can’t afford things like that. If it was more than fifty bucks, you’ll have to take it back.”

“You know I can’t do that,” Eliza retorted, wiping Austin’s chin again and standing to face her husband, who was now grabbing his suit jacket and briefcase from the adjoining living room. He headed towards the front door. “Besides, you didn’t seem to mind the price last night when you took it off me.”

Alex wheeled around. “Why, you little…” He bit back his words, his mouth a grimace, his normally handsome face turning into an ugly mask of fury. Saying nothing more, he stomped away, slamming the front door closed behind him.

Eliza sat back down at the kitchen table, put her head in her hands, and wept.

“MY HUSBAND IS A GOOD MAN, he really is, it’s just that, well, it’s my fault he’s doing the things he does now.”

Eliza blew her nose into a tissue as she sat with Marsha in the mall’s food court, her uneaten hamburger sitting cold before her. Marsha had gone with her friend to return the outfit. It was a good thing she didn’t get any makeup or food stains on it. It was Saturday, and Alex had stayed home with the boys.

Walking past storefronts all decked out for the Christmas holidays just made Eliza feel more miserable. Knowing she couldn’t spend much money, she told Marsha she had a headache and went home right after lunch. She had already done some of her Christmas shopping for the kids and her husband online, and even though she wanted to buy them more, her heart just wasn’t into it.

When she got home, Alex and the boys were napping. Eliza cheered up a bit knowing she would have a little quiet time to herself.

She sat down in the spare room that they had set up as an office and opened her laptop to check her emails. Eliza had applied for several part-time jobs and saw a few responses in her inbox. She hadn’t told Alex about it, knowing he would object to her spending any time away from the kids. “We just have to make sacrifices, and besides, any job that means we have to pay for day care won’t be worth it,” he had said. While she was barely able to fit in the data entry work she was already doing during the kids’ nap times, bed time, and “quiet” or TV time, Eliza figured perhaps she could find a way. Anything so she could have a little spending money and things didn’t feel quite so tight. Besides, it wouldn’t hurt to look for something better out there.

While scrolling through her emails, her breath caught in her throat. There was an email from their bank, and the subject line read, “Bank alert, past due credit card payment.”

Alex handled all of their banking, checkbook balancing, budgeting, and bill paying. This was the first time she had ever received an email from their bank, even though all of their accounts were joint. Eliza had never questioned Alex’s ability to handle their financial matters, nor did she want anything to do with it all.

Her fingers trembled as she hesitantly opened the email.

“Your credit card account xxx-x-x0254 is past due. The current balance is $5,523.” Eliza blinked, not believing the figure before her eyes. How could that be? Even given her Christmas shopping online and even if her return had not gone through yet, she had spent nowhere near that much money in the past few months, not to mention the past few years.

It had to be a mistake. Her heart thumped with fear.

She decided to open up their bank account to take a look, but it had been so long since she had checked it that she couldn’t remember the password. Think! She knew it was the kids’ names coupled with an important date. Their wedding anniversary? Her birthday? She typed in all of the possible combinations she could think of, and still it wouldn’t open.

One more try. CameronAustin1225. It worked. Alex must have changed the date. She watched the little circle spin until their bank account opened before her. She scanned the summary of accounts. There was a positive $225 in their checking account, a positive $990 in their savings account, and there it was, $5,523 staring back at her in their credit card account.

She and Alex had had credit issues in the past when they were just starting out in their marriage and at one point decided together to tear up their credit cards and just have one in case of emergency, which she had only used for Christmas and to splurge on the outfit she had bought then returned.

She clicked on the account number and saw several transactions, all labeled “Gila River Casinos.” She glanced down the transaction sheet. There were a few payments of $100 or $250, and about a dozen $500 charges.

Her stomach knotted up, and for a moment she thought she was going to throw up the little bit of lunch she had eaten.

And then she heard a stirring, a man’s footfalls shuffling in the distant corner of the ranch house, her husband making his way to where she sat. She had closed the door, but it was only a matter of minutes before he’d find her. She quickly closed the account window, shut down the computer, and willed herself to calm down, taking deep breaths like they had taught her in Lamaze class.

“Hey, what are you up to?” The office door swung open, and his words startled her even though she anticipated them.

“Nothing. I mean, just playing around on the computer, but I got bored so I was just going to come in and check on you and the kids.” Eliza felt her face flush and turned away to pretend to straighten up a few papers and books on the desk. She stood and stretched, feigning boredom. “I guess I should have crawled in with you to take a nap instead.”

“Hmmm…well we could go back to bed, but since I’ve already had a nap…” Alex playfully winked at her and smiled.

Eliza’s stomach lurched, but she fought to control the nausea that resurfaced at his implication.

Mercifully, they heard the sound of Austin talking gibberish on the baby monitor, and then Cameron poked his head in from around his dad’s legs. “Hi, Mommy, I’m hungry, can I have a snack?” Eliza rolled her eyes and shrugged at her husband, trying to be playful. “Sure, honey, let me fix you a snack,” she said, taking Cameron’s hand to lead him to the kitchen.

“Maybe later,” Alex whispered in her ear when she passed him in the doorway.

“I THINK your husband has a gambling addiction.” Barbara Paulus, PhD, shifted slightly in her upholstered chair where she sat facing Eliza, who sat nervously fidgeting with a tissue in her hands on the small couch across the room.

Eliza had barely gotten any sleep the night she found out about the credit card debt. She had mulled over calling Marsha in the morning to vent her fears and anger but realized her friend was probably not the best confidante, having a penchant for gossip.

Eliza had done a good job of nearly isolating herself in her postpartum blues. And in her consummation with being a good wife and mother and working her part-time job, her world had shrunk even further. Marsha had become her only friend, and a superficial one at that.

But Eliza wasn’t a stranger to loneliness.