Читать книгу Final Score - Michelle Betham - Страница 10

‘Jesus, Brandon, what do you want?’

‘Good to see you, too, Dad.’

Jim sighed, standing aside to let his son through into the hall. ‘I’m sorry. It’s just been a long day. Derby matches always seem to drain me more than any others.’

‘At least your side won.’

Jim couldn’t help but smile as he followed Brandon into the living room. ‘You did your best to stop that from happening.’

‘Yeah. I did my best.’ He walked over to the fireplace, turning around and folding his arms as he looked at his father. ‘Who’s Carrie Jackson?’

Jim almost dropped the glass of whiskey he was holding, then leant back against the sideboard to steady himself.

‘Who is she, Dad?’

Jim poured himself another drink, turning his back on Brandon. ‘It’s none of your business.’

‘Is she the reason you can’t let yourself be happy? The reason you won’t let yourself be happy?’

Jim turned back around, his expression telling Brandon he was in no mood to talk about this. ‘I’m shutting this conversation down, Brandon. Right now.’

‘Is she the reason you push people away?’

‘I won’t tell you again, son.’

‘Like you pushed Amber away?’

‘She was pregnant with another man’s baby.’

‘That wasn’t the fucking reason, Dad, and you know it.’ Brandon’s eyes were holding Jim’s gaze now, refusing to let go. ‘You are still crazy-in-love with her, but you just can’t let yourself be happy.’

‘If you know all of this…’

‘All I know is the name, Dad. All I know is you were once in a relationship with a girl called Carrie Jackson. That’s all I know. Because I wanted you to tell me the rest. I wanted you to tell me the reason why she affected your life so much you won’t let yourself be happy with a woman you are so obviously in love with.’

Jim narrowed his eyes as he stared at his son. ‘Have you… have you been checking up on me?’

‘The internet is a wonderful tool, Dad. You’d be amazed at what you can find out after just a half hour of searching.’

‘I don’t believe this…’ He downed his whiskey, slamming the glass down onto the sideboard behind him, a mixture of panic and fear washing over him. He was losing control again, and he didn’t like that. It never made him feel comfortable. Losing control wasn’t something Jim Allen liked to make a habit of. ‘You need to go, Brandon. Now. Please. I really need you to go.’

Brandon held up his hands in defeat, shaking his head as he walked over to the door, stopping when he reached Jim. ‘You can’t keep doing this to yourself, Dad. Acting like some kind of robot who pushes his feelings to one side. Someone who finds happiness – who actually has it right there in his hands, and then just lets it go, as though it means nothing. When it actually means everything. You can’t keep on doing this, because it’ll destroy you.’

Jim grabbed Brandon’s arm as he walked out of the door. ‘I get scared, Brandon.’

‘Who was she, Dad?’

Jim looked down, letting go of Brandon’s arm, signalling the end of the conversation. It was over. Done. Finished. For now.

Brandon left without saying another word. Jim waited until he heard the front door slam shut before pouring himself yet another drink, the alcohol doing little to numb those feelings that short conversation with his son had caused to resurface.

As he felt totally unexpected tears fill his eyes, he furiously blinked them back, refusing to let this bring him down. He just had to put it back where it belonged, out of his mind, out of reach, and carry on. Just like he had been doing ever since. Just like he needed to do again.

*

Amber closed the car door and leaned back against it, shutting her eyes as the cold north-easterly wind whipped across her face. But it was a reality she needed to feel before she stepped back inside a bubble she knew full well she should be steering clear of. It had burst so many times she couldn’t really keep count any more, but it was a bubble she needed to be in right now. She needed him, needed his touch, his kiss; she needed to feel him inside her. She needed that.

Walking slowly up the driveway, she ran her fingers lightly along the side of his car, already feeling the forecasted frost begin to form on the cold surface. She began to shiver, the temperature was rapidly falling as the night wore on, and for a brief second she wondered if the fact she’d spent the last two hours just driving around – was that a warning sign? Should she be listening to those alarm bells, no matter how quietly they were ringing? If she’d needed him that much, why hadn’t she just come straight here when she’d left Tynebridge?

Finally reaching the front door she watched her fingers as they hovered over the bell. Pressing it was going to restart something she wasn’t sure she was ready for. But it was something she couldn’t stop from happening, because Ronnie was right. She was weak. Where Jim Allen was concerned she was weaker than any human being should ever be.

Pressing down on the bell she took a small step back. She still had a couple of seconds left to run away, to get out of there. To grow up and do what she’d said she was going to do – leave here and try and make a new start in London. But nothing could make her turn away from this, and she knew that. Now. She knew that.

Her heart fluttered wildly in her chest as the door slowly opened, her stomach doing that same old dip and dive as she looked up and saw him standing there. He was wearing faded, battered jeans and a dark t-shirt, his hair a little longer than he usually wore it, and the only thing she could think about was burying her fingers in it and messing it up as she lay underneath him.

‘I need you,’ she whispered, unable to do anything about the zillion and one butterflies that had just started flying around inside her.

He smiled the same smile that had reeled her in and dragged her into his world over twenty years ago. That same smile that could do it all over again, because she’d let it.

Closing the door behind her she looked at him, letting every memory of this man wash over her. Every beautiful kiss, every tiny touch – every heartbreaking goodbye. They all came back to visit, all at once, making her twice as confused, but it didn’t matter. They could stay there, embed themselves in her brain on a permanent basis and she knew she still couldn’t walk away from this. He was too much a part of her, and even if he broke her heart a million times more she was always going to love him. So, what did that say about her? What did that say about Amber Sullivan – that feisty, strong, independent woman who’d once thought she could take on the world. What did that say about her?

She walked over to him, taking the glass he was holding out of his hand, their eyes locked together. Reaching out to touch his mouth with her fingertips, she felt an altogether different kind of shiver engulf her as his hand rested lightly on her hip, pulling her just that little bit closer to him. Once more, the invisible cord she couldn’t seem to cut had brought her back here, back to him, and there was nowhere else she wanted to be.

Standing up on tiptoes she closed her eyes as her lips touched his, so gently they just brushed over them at first, but it was enough to cause those goosebumps to break out, that wave of confusion to be washed away by something far harder to understand. And as his arm snaked around her waist, pulling her against him, his mouth pressing down harder on hers, she shut out everything else – Ryan, Ronnie; even Rico. She shut them all out, because she wanted nothing to spoil this. She wanted nothing to get in the way of what she was about to do.

They were never going to make it upstairs, she knew that. They were never going to make it that far. It was going to happen right here, but it wasn’t going to be the quick and harsh encounter they’d shared earlier. She didn’t want that. She wanted to feel him properly, to take in every touch of his fingers on her skin. She wanted to sink deep into his kisses, feel him move inside her as their bodies once more became one. She wanted all of that. She wanted him.

Stepping back slightly, she smiled as he leaned back against the wall, folding his arms, his eyes on her as she slowly stripped. And all that did was heighten everything she was already feeling, turning her on even more as all those things she was trying to push to the back of her mind slowly started to fade away.

‘Leave the boots on,’ he said, his eyes still boring into hers. ‘Jesus, baby, please leave those boots on.’

She couldn’t help smiling as she walked back over to him, now wearing nothing but black, knee-high boots, pressing her naked body against his still fully-clothed one.

‘I’d forgotten how much you kill me, Amber.’ His voice was low and oh-so-sexy as his mouth rested on hers. ‘What you do to my head, honey, it’s crazy.’

‘I shouldn’t be here,’ she whispered, slowly pulling his t-shirt off over his head, flinging it aside like a used rag.

‘Then why are you?’

‘Because I need you.’ She began pulling the belt away from his jeans. ‘I already told you that. Because I can’t get you out of my head, no matter how much I try.’ She ran her thumb over his cheek, his stubble rough beneath her fingers. ‘And because I’m weak.’

He took hold of her hand, bringing it up to his mouth and kissing it. ‘I can’t stand here and promise I won’t hurt you again, Amber…’

She shook her head. ‘Don’t say anything, Jim, please. Just… just don’t say anything.’

His hand tightened around hers, their eyes still locked together. ‘I don’t want to hurt you…’

‘It’s too late for that.’

He finally broke the stare, but only for a brief second. ‘I’m glad you came. I didn’t think you would.’

‘Oh, you knew I would, Jim. You knew I would come.’

He bowed his head, once more breaking the stare. And when he finally raised it he said nothing, just wound his fingers into her hair and pulled her forwards, kissing her slowly. And Amber felt herself falling again, faster and faster, deeper and deeper into that web of pain and heartache that she couldn’t stay away from. It was almost as if everything he put her through was a turn-on.

As he gently lowered her down onto the stairs she felt a tiny twinge of reality nip at her conscience, the image of her beautiful baby boy swimming before her eyes and she squeezed them shut, pushing that image away. Rico was fine, he was good. He was safe and he was loved and he would always come first in her world. Always. And yet, how could she say that, when she was here? When she was about to do this and reopen every old wound Jim Allen had ever inflicted.

‘Are you okay?’

She opened her eyes, stretching her arms up above her head. ‘I’m fine. I was just thinking, that’s all.’

‘About what?’

She took a second or two to look at him. He was naked now, as he stood there in front of her. For a man of his age he still had the body of someone twenty years younger; tall and lean, toned and hard, and every memory of the first time she’d seen him like this came rushing forwards, flooding her brain, making her almost breathless. She could feel her chest rising and falling, faster and heavier than it had done just seconds before, her heart beating wildly against her ribs, her fingers entangling themselves in her own hair. ‘About why I shouldn’t be here.’

He lowered himself down over her, the heat of his body as it touched hers almost burning her skin and she breathed in deeply, letting him pull one of her hands away from her hair, his fingers intertwining with hers.

‘I thought we weren’t talking,’ he whispered, his mouth moving closer to hers.

‘We aren’t,’ she breathed, her chest now rising up to touch his as her legs pulled up around him, keeping him close.

‘Okay…’ He kissed her slowly, and she stretched out more as she felt his other hand slip between her legs, touching her gently, checking she was ready for him. ‘No more talking.’

‘No more talking,’ she repeated, opening her legs wider now, letting him in, inviting him to do whatever it was he needed to do.

As the kiss got deeper his fingers played harder, touching her, sinking into a wetness he’d created, and she found it difficult to hold back, to stay quiet, because what he was doing to her was everything she’d dreamed of him doing since the day he’d told her it was over. It had only been a few months ago, the last time he’d broke her heart, yet it seemed like an eternity had passed. She’d missed him so much, and although she hadn’t always been aware of that – the months leading up to Rico’s birth had given her more distractions than she’d been able to handle – she knew that the second her son had been born, that was when reality had kicked in. That was when she’d realised things had never really changed. That was when she’d realised it was this man she needed to be with. He just hadn’t wanted her. He’d pushed her away. But was all that changing now?

His mouth was still resting on hers as his fingers slid slowly inside her and she moaned quietly, bucking her hips up as she pulled him in. And it felt good to have him back there, to feel him where she needed him to be. Everything else felt wrong. Only he’d ever felt right, despite everything. Despite it all. Only he’d ever felt right.

Moving his head down, he covered one of her nipples with his mouth, flicking his tongue over it, causing her to moan out loud again as she buried her fingers in his hair. He was making her dizzy; her head was spinning with a hundred different reasons why this was wrong, but still she didn’t want to be anywhere else. She didn’t want him to leave or stop doing this; she didn’t want him to go.

He let go of her hand, pushing her legs a little further apart, and as he slowly pulled his fingers out of her she gasped, closing her eyes as she prepared for what was going to happen next, the anticipation both exciting and terrifying. But when he finally made that move, gently pushing into her so carefully, the complete opposite of the sex they’d had earlier, she felt nothing but a wonderful warmth spread through her entire body, from the tips of her toes to the top of her head. An incredible, mind-blowing feeling of warmth and safety. Yet she was anything but safe. Jim Allen was the epitome of danger as far as relationships were concerned. But she was trapped, in a world she wasn’t willing to leave.

Pushing her hips up to meet his again she took him deeper, angling her body so he fell into her, and he held onto her as though his life depended on it as they moved together in an erotic dance, their rhythm perfectly synchronised.

His moans merged with hers, soft and quiet yet loaded with an intensity that circled around them, filling the hallway, turning up the heat on an already burning atmosphere as bodies crashed together and feelings were torn apart under waves of confusion and pain. But Amber wouldn’t have it any other way. She didn’t want to feel anything other than what she was feeling now as he thrust in and out of her fast, then slow, keeping that rhythm going, holding out for as long as he could but he was sinking quickly, she could tell. His breathing was heavier, his body tensing up as he got ready for that final push, and Amber almost held her breath as she waited for the inevitable to happen, wanting it yet dreading it, because she didn’t want this to end. She didn’t want to end this closeness. She didn’t want to let him go. But she couldn’t stop that rush of beautiful, white-hot pain that flooded her body as he spilled out into her with a cry so loud it seemed to shake the room. And when he reached down to touch her, to help her to her own climax before he’d finished his, she thought she might pass out with the sheer weight of feelings he was making her experience in the space of those final few seconds.

And when it was over, all she felt was a crashing emptiness that seemed to wash over her at breakneck speed.

‘Stay with me,’ he whispered, stroking the hair from her eyes, which she didn’t want to open just yet, in case he disappeared the second she did. In case this was just a dream. She felt sixteen all over again, and she wasn’t sure she liked it. It made her feel vulnerable, out-of-control, when she should be grown up and strong.

‘I… Jim, I don’t know…’

‘Stay with me.’ He took hold of her hand, gripping it tight, his eyes now staring deep into hers. ‘Please. Because I can’t let this go… I can’t let you go. Not yet.’

She wanted to hear him say not ever; that’s what she wanted to hear him say. Not yet signalled that he was willing to let her go at some point. And once more she could hear those alarm bells ringing. ‘What are we doing, Jim?’

‘I need you, Amber.’

‘For what? For a few days? A couple of weeks? For sex and nothing else? Forever? For what, Jim?’

He sat up, pushing both hands through his hair, letting out a quiet sigh, but Amber could see the weight of the world right there on his shoulders. ‘I can’t do this. Not with Ryan still here. That constant threat…’

She sat up beside him, slipping her hand into his, kissing his shoulder lightly. ‘He isn’t a threat, Jim. He never was, not really.’

He looked at her, smiling a small smile, but even she could see it hadn’t reached his eyes. ‘You say that, but then something happens and he’s there, back in your life. And now you’ve got Rico… Amber, you and him, you have a child together.’

‘I’m not in love with him, Jim.’

‘But he’s always going to be a part of your life. He’s always going to be there.’

‘And I can’t help that. I can’t. He’s Rico’s dad, and that’s a job he’s got for life.’

Jim looked down at their joined hands. ‘It still tears me apart that I couldn’t give you what you wanted. That you had another man’s child when I… when I loved you so much it broke my fucking heart every day to see you… to see you carrying his baby. You were my wife, Amber.’

‘And you divorced me, Jim.’

He let go of her and dropped his head into his hands. ‘Because I just couldn’t face losing you.’

‘Baby, that doesn’t make any sense. You were the one that left me. I didn’t want to go anywhere.’

He raised his head, his eyes tired and heavy with tears, and Amber didn’t know what to do. This was a side of him she’d very rarely seen, if ever. ‘But you might have done. You were pregnant, with a baby that wasn’t mine. Pregnant to a man who meant something to you, Amber. You say you’re not in love with him, but, Ryan Fisher – he meant something to you. Once.’

She got up, finding his t-shirt that she’d thrown on the floor. And he watched as she pulled it over her head, watched as she covered that beautiful nakedness with his own clothes.

‘I’ll go get us something to drink,’ she said, heading off into the kitchen, a fresh wave of confusion sweeping over her now.

She found a bottle of brandy on the counter and pulled two clean glasses from the dishwasher before filling them both with a generous measure.

‘We really do need to talk, Amber.’

She turned around, unable to stop a sharp intake of breath as she looked at him standing there, dressed only in jeans that hung low on his hips, his hands in his pockets. ‘When did you get so paranoid, Jim? When did you let anyone get in the way of anything you wanted?’

‘You aren’t just anything, Amber. You’re not just a winning football score or some defender I desperately want before the transfer window closes. You’re my whole fucking world, and the thought of you…’ He trailed off, turning his head away for a second. ‘We need to talk.’

She watched as he walked over to her, taking the glass she held out for him and putting it straight back down on the counter.

‘There are reasons why I did what I did. Reasons why I pushed you away.’

‘So, tell me what those reasons are. Help me to understand just what’s going on here, Jim, because, right now, I don’t understand any of it. I don’t get it. None of it makes any sense.’

‘I can’t, Amber. I can’t explain…’ He slowly slid his hand up under the t-shirt she was wearing, causing her to gasp as his fingers touched her skin. ‘I can’t.’ He leaned forward, his lips brushing over her neck and she threw her head back. She let herself fall into him all over again until a glimmer of reality pushed its way forward and she gently pushed him away.

‘Because sex will solve everything, won’t it?’

‘It helps.’

‘I need you, Jim. Because without you I’m a wreck. I can’t think straight, I can’t function, because you not being there, it’s wrong. It’s not how it should be. But if we’re… if we’re even thinking about being together again I need you to be honest with me. For the first time in your life. I need that more than anything.’

He leaned back against the counter beside her, digging his hands back into his pockets, taking the deepest of breaths before he spoke again. ‘Before I came over to the UK, I was… I was involved with… I was involved with someone.’

Amber felt her stomach tighten as he spoke. Was he about to reveal yet another secret he’d kept from her for all these years?

‘We’d met at a party, some awards ceremony a friend of mine had gotten tickets for. She was an up-and-coming country singer, someone the music industry had tipped for the big time, even though she was so young. We both were…’

Amber watched him as he spoke, watched the way his eyes filled with those tears she very rarely saw; a look on his face that scared her, because it was so alien, to see him like this.

‘I was only twenty, she was nineteen… but we fell in love. Hard. We fell in love hard.’

Amber felt her stomach tighten even more now. To watch him talk this way about someone else hurt with a pain she couldn’t explain. And it felt strange, almost as if she was listening to someone else completely. Someone she didn’t know. As though the Jim she’d once known had left the room to be replaced with someone more vulnerable. Someone she was having trouble recognising.

‘And for almost five years we were happy. We were so happy. My soccer career was taking off, and her music was going places, we had it all. We had everything. We had a future…’

Amber took a deep breath, wanting to reach out and take his hand but not knowing if that was the right thing to do. Did he want her intruding on something that was obviously so emotional for him?

‘But somebody made sure that future was never gonna happen.’

Amber was willing him to look at her now. She wanted to see his eyes, to feel what he was feeling because she could tell it was breaking his heart. Whatever he was about to tell her, it was breaking his heart.

He turned his head, his eyes finally locking onto hers. ‘She died, Amber. She was on her way back from a gig in L.A., and there was an accident. Her van collided with a car that was speeding. It had cut the lights, swerved out of control…’

Amber reached out and took his hand, her fingers tightening around his, and he responded, clinging onto her as tears started streaming down his face.

‘I was in New York. I’d been playing in some soccer tournament and they didn’t tell me until… until it was over. For some reason. I don’t know why they left it. I just remember this numbness taking over, a pain so intense it cancelled out anything else I might be feeling. My whole world shut down that night. She was gone. She was my world, and she was gone.’

He turned away from her again, and Amber didn’t know what to do. Watching him fall apart right there in front of her was something she’d never seen before, and it scared her. Jim Allen was strong. Jim Allen was always in control. Jim Allen didn’t break down.

‘I changed that night.’ His voice was quiet, but there was a tougher edge to it now. ‘The person I’d been before, he was gone.’

‘Jim, baby, look at me. Please.’

His eyes met hers, tears still streaming down his face and she couldn’t help but reach out and brush them away with her thumb. ‘I couldn’t fall in love again, not like that. I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t let myself. So I changed. I threw myself into my career, made the decision to play football over in the UK. It was the only way I could deal with it all. And I… I vowed never to fall in love again, because the pain you feel when your world is suddenly ripped away from you and you know you can never get it back… nobody deserves to feel that.’ His fingers tightened around hers once more, their eyes locked together. ‘But then came you. Beautiful, sixteen-year-old Amber Sullivan. From the very first second I saw you I knew. I knew I had to have you. I had to. And maybe I should have walked away, because you were so young, too young. But there was something telling me…’ He stopped talking, turning his head away for another brief second, causing another wave of confusion to wash over Amber. ‘The reason I spent all those years acting the way I did; the reason why I kept pushing you away.’ He turned back to face her, his eyes boring deep into hers. ‘I loved you too much, Amber. It was … it was like Carrie all over again, those same, uncontrollable feelings that I knew I couldn’t ignore. They were back, and they were real, and they scared the hell out of me. I wanted to be with you so much it hurt, but I couldn’t let myself get too close because that fear of losing you was just too great. Too overwhelming. And I know I hurt you, I know that, and I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry, because we wasted so much time.’

Amber felt her own heart start to break as she watched him wipe those still-falling tears away, once more turning his head so he wasn’t looking at her.

‘I thought I’d be able to handle it better, you know? When I took the Red Star job. When I came back up here. All those years apart, but I still couldn’t get you out of my head. I couldn’t forget you. I was still so much in fucking love with you, Amber.’ He looked at her again. ‘You know I took the manager’s job at Newcastle Red Star because I needed to be near you again. You know that. And I thought I’d be able to handle it better after all that time away, I really did. I was wrong. Because I didn’t bank on Ryan Fisher. I didn’t bank on you still hurting so much because of what I’d done to you…’

‘Jim.’

He bowed his head, his hand still clinging onto hers. ‘We almost had it, Amber. You and me. We almost had that future I wanted. We were together, you were my wife…’ As his eyes met hers again she felt her heart beat so fast she almost couldn’t breathe. ‘And still I pushed you away. Because that fear of losing someone I loved so much just wouldn’t leave me. I couldn’t forget how losing Carrie almost broke me, I couldn’t let that go. So I had to push you away. I had to pretend I didn’t care about you when you’re the only thing I care about. The only thing. And I should have been man enough to face up to everything and tell you the truth.’

She reached out and cupped his cheek in her hand, her own eyes filling with tears as everything she’d ever felt for this man collided and merged into one huge, emotional mess. Who she’d thought he was, and the actual man underneath, were two completely different people.

‘Why didn’t you just talk to me, Jim?’

‘You were so young when we first met, Amber. Too young to understand all the crap going on inside my head. And back then – back then I just wanted to be this hotshot footballer who was suddenly having women falling at his feet, giving him every distraction he could possibly wish for. I didn’t want to talk about it. Not back then. And I know that wasn’t fair on you…’

She leaned forward and kissed him, the salt from his tears dampening her lips. ‘You should have talked to me. When you took the Red Star job, when you came back here… you should have talked to me.’

He tried to smile, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. ‘I know. Jesus, I know that now. I’ve been so stupid.’ He pulled her into his arms, holding her loosely around the waist. ‘I acted the way I did because I was scared, Amber. And I’m so sorry, baby. So sorry I hurt you, so sorry for everything I put you through because throughout it all… throughout it all I loved you so much it killed me. And I had to put on that front, create a mask to hide behind because if I hadn’t done that, I would’ve fallen apart. But now? Now I just wish I’d been stronger. We wasted so much time.’

‘Sshh, it’s okay. It’s okay. Let’s not think about the past any more, alright? And let’s mean it this time. None of that matters now.’

He threw his head back, releasing a long, slow sigh. ‘I don’t deserve to have you in my life, Amber. Not after everything…’

She shut him up with another kiss, letting it build, her mouth opening to accept him more, his tongue sliding inside and she pushed against him, all those confusing feelings filling her head and she just wanted to forget them. For a few, short minutes she wanted them to go away.

He turned her around, lifting her up onto the countertop, pushing her legs apart with a gentle force that signalled the beginning of something Amber needed now. She needed sex with a man she’d never really known, but he was a man she couldn’t walk away from. She’d known that before, and she knew it even more now.

Leaning back, she placed her hands palm-down behind her, wrapping her legs around him as he pushed into her once more, so hard and so quick it rocked her whole body back, causing her to cry out loud, but it was a beautiful pain, and one she welcomed. To feel him back inside her was the only thing she wanted right now.

He slid the t-shirt she was still wearing up over her breasts, his mouth covering them in tiny, almost feather-light kisses, sending her beyond crazy as the rhythm suddenly changed, and everything slowed down. Everything became calmer. He was kissing her so softly it was making her cry all over again, his arms holding her so tightly, as though she’d break if he let her go. And she just wanted to stay there, in his arms, feeling him move inside her as he kissed her. She wanted to feel that, forever.

So when they both finally came, in a climax that was so beautiful yet understated in its intensity, once again she didn’t want to open her eyes. She didn’t want to step back into reality.

‘The next time, I want you to look at me when you come,’ he whispered, gently stroking her cheek with his thumb. ‘I want you to look at me.’

She stared into those green eyes of his; eyes that she’d never really been sure of. Eyes that had never really told her the truth, until now. Now she could see something in them she’d never seen before. Honesty. A whole new start. A different man.

‘I love you so much, Jim. But I never really knew you, did I?’

He rested his forehead against hers, his fingers now lightly stroking the back of her neck. ‘You know me now.’

She smiled. ‘I’m beginning to.’

He kissed her again, his lips soft and damp against hers as those tears still fell from his eyes, more slowly now. ‘Stay with me tonight, Amber. Please. Stay with me.’

And if there was one thing Amber knew for certain now, it was that she wasn’t going anywhere.