Читать книгу Diamonds Are Forever - Michelle Madow, Michelle Madow - Страница 14

chapter 6:

That night, Courtney had stayed true to her word to be civil to everyone, and they’d all marathon watched a television show—minus Aunt Sophie, who’d fallen asleep in the reclining chair. Courtney was the first to wake up the next morning, and when she checked her phone, there was a text message from Brett. She smiled when she saw that he’d sent it exactly at midnight.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Can’t wait for you to get back home so we can celebrate. Wish I was there with you, but I hope you’re having a good time in California, and remember to call me if you need anything... I miss you!

She texted him back immediately, even though he was probably still asleep.

I miss you and wish you were here, too. So much. I’ll see you first thing when I get home <3

She slid out of bed, making sure not to disturb Peyton and Savannah, grabbed her Kindle and tiptoed upstairs to the kitchen. The birds chirped outside, and she brewed some chai tea in the Keurig, glad to have time to herself. Despite her insistence that no one should make a big deal about her birthday, no one ever listened. There was always so much pressure to have the perfect happy day.

Well, Mom was usually a wreck on her birthday—which made sense now, since she was grieving for Britney—but Peyton and Savannah tried to make the day all about her. Courtney hated it. Her perfect day would consist of doing nothing but reading an incredible book.

She’d situated herself on the couch, Kindle in hand, and was blowing on her tea when Aunt Sophie emerged from her room. Courtney would never get used to seeing how sick Aunt Sophie looked, especially since she was Grandma’s twin. Her wrinkled skin, sagging circles under her eyes and the wool hat she wore to hide her lack of hair made her look at least fifteen years older.

“I heard someone walking around, and given the time, I thought it might be you,” Aunt Sophie said, settling into her favorite recliner. “Happy birthday. Is that chai tea I smell?”

“Yes,” Courtney said. “This one’s nearly cooled off enough to drink, and I haven’t had any yet. If you want it, I can brew myself another.”

“That would be lovely,” she said. “Thank you.”

Courtney handed the tea over, afraid Aunt Sophie’s hands were shaking so much that she might drop it. Once she saw that she wouldn’t, she went into the kitchen to get another cup. The Keurig had it ready in less than a minute, and she brought it back into the living room.

“I’m glad I was able to help you and your sisters work through your argument yesterday,” Aunt Sophie said, sipping on her tea. “You’ve had quite a few changes to adjust to in the past few months, haven’t you?”

“My entire life has changed,” Courtney said. “I’ve been trying to make the best of it, but recently I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore.” Realizing how intense that sounded, she tried to smile and shrug it off. But it was too late. The words hung in the air, waiting for an explanation.

“And you truly don’t see yourself forgiving your mom and grandma?”

Courtney took a deep breath and stared into her tea. “I don’t want to still be mad at them,” she said. “But right now, I don’t know how not to be. Especially today, when I should be celebrating my seventeenth birthday with Britney. I should have been remembering her every year at this time. But because Grandma and Mom lied to me, I didn’t even know she existed until a few weeks ago.”

“Your grandma and mom were wrong not to tell you about her,” Aunt Sophie said. “I told them for years that they needed to, but they never listened.”

“Thank you,” she said. “That means a lot.”

“But they did what they did because of love,” Aunt Sophie said, her voice stronger than Courtney had heard so far. “They thought that by not telling you about Britney, it would spare you from wondering what life would have been like if she’d lived. It’s a pain your grandma and mom have experienced every day.”

“But Britney was my twin,” Courtney said. “Keeping her from me was selfish. If I’d never found that baby book, they might have never told me about her, and then I never would have known the truth.”

“Very true. But you did find that baby book, and now you do know the truth.” Aunt Sophie lifted her mug to her lips and took a sip, her hand shaking. Courtney prepared herself to jump out of her seat in case she dropped it, but her aunt managed to place it back on the armrest and hold it steady. “At this point, what’s in the past is done. Being angry at your mom and grandma won’t change that. Ever since Thanksgiving, when you and your sisters left early and refused to speak with them, they’ve been beating themselves up over it. Savannah was right to worry that your mom would return to drinking—your grandma and I worried about it, as well. We were so grateful when Savannah offered her forgiveness.”

“I know you wouldn’t believe it after hearing our fight yesterday, but I’m grateful to Savannah for that, too,” Courtney said, curling up on the couch. “The last thing I want is for Mom to relapse. But I can’t force myself to forgive her and Grandma. Every time I think of them, I’m reminded of how they never told me about Britney, and I get angry all over again. I hate it.”

“Neither of them can take back their actions,” Aunt Sophie said softly. “But you need to ask yourself—do you want to look back and wish you’d handled this differently? Most of us go through life feeling invincible, but none of us know what day will be our last. Is holding on to your anger truly worth it?”

“When you put it that way, I know it’s not,” Courtney said. “But I can’t just forget about what they did.”

“I didn’t ask you to forget,” Aunt Sophie said. “You should never forget. But you should try to forgive.”

Courtney couldn’t meet her eyes, because she wanted to forgive Grandma and Mom. She missed talking with them—Grandma especially. But it was too fresh right now. Especially today, with her birthday as a reminder of how Britney was missing from their lives.

They sat in silence for a few seconds, sipping on their tea. Then Grandma’s door opened, and Courtney watched as she walked into the living room, dressed and ready for the day. While she and Aunt Sophie were identical, the two of them were more likely to pass as mother and daughter than twins.

“I thought I heard people out here,” she said, smiling. “Happy birthday, Courtney. And Sophie—you’re looking refreshed this morning.”

Courtney would hardly describe Aunt Sophie as looking “refreshed,” but she supposed it was all about perspective.

Soon Savannah came up to join them, followed by Mom. Courtney still wasn’t used to Mom waking up before noon, but it was one of the many changes that had come with her journey to recovery.

“I’m going to get breakfast started,” Grandma said. “French toast—Courtney’s favorite, since she’s the birthday girl. Will you girls get Peyton out of bed and up here to join us?”

Thirty minutes later, they were all sitting around the dining room table, the serving plates piled with French toast, eggs, fruit and bacon (the vegetarian kind for Courtney and regular for everyone else).

“So, girls,” Grandma said after everyone had food on their plates. “Your mom and I recently received our invitations to your father’s wedding.”

Peyton’s mouth dropped open, despite being in the middle of chewing her food. She swallowed quickly, and said, “They invited you? Both of you?”

“You’re not actually going, are you?” Savannah chimed in.

“I don’t see why we wouldn’t,” Grandma said.

Courtney could think of a lot of reasons. But she started with the most practical one. “There’s going to be an open bar,” she said, looking at Mom. “Is that something you’re ready for? Especially since you haven’t seen Adrian in so long...it might be a trigger.”

“I talked with my doctor about it after receiving the invitation,” she said. “She told me that with the support of Grandma, the three of you, and with my sponsor there, I’ll be able to get through the event. She actually believes it will be good for me to attend.”

“But it’s more than the wedding.” Courtney picked up a piece of fake bacon and tore it apart. “It’s Las Vegas in general. Everywhere you turn in the Diamond there’s a bar, or people drinking in the casino, or people walking around with drinks, or a mention of some sort of party. I can’t imagine that’ll be good for you.”

“Which is why we’ll stay at the Trump,” Grandma said. “A non-gaming, family-friendly hotel.”

“What about Aunt Sophie?” Courtney turned to Aunt Sophie, who had barely touched her French toast. “You won’t be able to travel, will you? Or stay here alone?”

“Oh, don’t worry about me,” she said. “A nurse will stay with me here. I’ll be perfectly fine.”

“It sounds like a good plan.” Savannah twisted a piece of hair around her finger and looked at Mom. “But are you going to be okay watching Adrian marry Rebecca?”

“You think I would be upset watching him marry her?” Mom smiled, as if she found the notion amusing.

“You were married to him once, and you do have kids with him,” Courtney said. She’d pictured the wedding numerous times—Rebecca talked about it constantly, so she had to—and she couldn’t imagine Mom and Grandma there. In fact, she couldn’t imagine Mom having a conversation with Adrian, let alone being married to him. “Of course you might be upset watching him marry someone else.”

She waved it away. “I’ve been over Adrian for years,” she said. “And when I was married to him, I was friends with Rebecca. Some of the women Adrian introduced me to snubbed me because I hadn’t grown up in their exclusive circle, but Rebecca was always welcoming and kind.”

“Did you ever meet Ellen Prescott?” Peyton asked.

“Yep.” Mom made a face and laughed. “She was one of the ones who snubbed me. The ringleader, actually.”

“And you were friends with Rebecca?” asked Savannah, her fork dangling in the air. Courtney couldn’t blame her for being stunned. Rebecca was so calm, organized and level-headed—the complete opposite of their mom.

“Sort of,” Mom said. “I knew Adrian and Rebecca dated in high school, and I used to worry that their feelings for each other hadn’t disappeared. When I first heard they were engaged, it stung, but that’s in the past now. I really am happy for them.”

“Oh.” Savannah frowned and played with a loose thread on her place mat. “So...you don’t want to get back together with Dad?”

Courtney was surprised at the sadness in her sister’s voice. Mom and Adrian getting back together wasn’t something she’d ever considered. From the photos she’d seen of her parents in her baby book, she knew they must have loved each other once, but they were so different and wrong for each other now.

“You girls can do simple math, so I’m sure you’ve realized that Adrian and I got married after finding out I was pregnant with Peyton,” Mom said. “We used protection but...­sometimes these things happen.”

Peyton nearly choked on her eggs. “We don’t need the details,” she said. “But yeah, we figured as much.”

“Adrian and I tried to make it work,” she continued. “But it wasn’t meant to be between us. Even before the...event that drove us apart...” She glanced at Courtney, and Courtney looked away, the reminder of Britney making her chest pang. “Adrian wasn’t always faithful to me. I tried to ignore it, because at the end of the day, I was the one he was married to and came home to and claimed to love. But it couldn’t have gone on much longer. He’s always had a soft spot for Rebecca—­she was his first love, after all—and I don’t think those feelings ever went away. Hopefully he’ll be different with her than he was with me. I think it’s possible.”

“He does really love her,” Savannah said. “And she’s been nice to us since we got to Vegas. Even Peyton doesn’t mind her anymore.”

“She gets annoying—especially now that all she talks about is the wedding—but whatever.” Peyton shrugged. “I tune her out and she’s not that bad.”

“That might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said about her,” Savannah said. “She does talk about the wedding a lot. More than I ever talked about my Sweet Sixteen party.”

“Now that we’re back to the wedding, what do you girls say?” Mom asked. “Is it all right if Grandma and I come?”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Courtney said before her sisters had a chance to speak up. Her mom deflated, and she searched for a reason—something other than the fact that she simply hadn’t forgiven her. “We won’t be able to spend time with you, because we’ll be so busy doing bridesmaid stuff.” She pushed her food around on her plate, knowing that the excuse sounded lame. She needed to add something to it. “Since you’ll barely be able to see us, you shouldn’t miss out on a weekend here with Aunt Sophie.”

“If you prefer us not to come, we understand,” Grandma said. “That’s why we asked the three of you before sending in our RSVP.”

“The wedding’s in April, so no one has to decide right now,” Aunt Sophie cut in. She sounded tired, as if the conversation with Courtney that morning and having breakfast with them had exhausted her, but she continued, anyway. “Why don’t the three of you take a few days to figure out how you feel about it? You should all have a say. But for now, it’s Courtney’s birthday. Let’s talk about something more fun—like that trip to Italy you took in December. I’ve never been to Italy, and I’ve always wanted to see it, so spare no details.”

With that, Savannah launched into describing their trip.

Courtney stayed silent for the rest of the meal. Because despite Aunt Sophie’s advice—to forgive while she had the chance—Courtney wasn’t sure she could. At least not now, or anytime soon.