Читать книгу New Year, New Man - Natalie Anderson - Страница 14
ОглавлениеSara swallowed against the lump of regret balled in her throat. She’d spent years avoiding Rose, and now she wanted nothing more than to get rid of her mother. But not at the expense of her grandmother’s dream. Selling would be simple and give her the money she desperately needed to repay April and get her own second chance.
Yet what would it cost her soul?
She’d given up on so much in her life, compromised her hopes and values to make life easier. She was done running from the hard stuff or letting other people bully her. If nothing else, being in Colorado had made her see that she could live life on her own terms. She had something to contribute. Her mother wasn’t going to rob her of that so soon.
“I’m not selling, Mom. Not now. Not to Richard.”
Rose’s delicately arched eyebrows lifted. “Well, then—”
“And you’re not spending any more time here. I want you to leave.”
“This was my childhood home, Sara.” Rose dabbed at the corner of one eye.
“You hated it here. Counted the moments until you could leave. I know the story by heart, so don’t try to change it.”
Her mother’s eyes narrowed briefly. “You always were an ungrateful child,” she said on a huff of breath. “Because of me you had every opportunity to succeed.”
“Because of you I didn’t have a childhood.”
“Don’t be dramatic, Serena.”
“I quit being dramatic years ago, Mother. Now I’m trying for normal.”
“Normal is boring.”
“I’ll take that, too.”
Rose made a sound somewhere between a sigh and a growl. She wrapped one arm around Claire’s small shoulders. “I’m so looking forward to getting to know you better, dear,” she said, and flashed a smile at Sara. “I’ll make a few calls to agents this week, then see if I can find a decent photographer to do some head shots of you. I bet the camera will love you the way it does your mother.”
“That would be great.”
Sara opened her mouth to argue but before she could get a word out, Josh appeared next to her. “There won’t be any photographers or agents for my daughter, Ms. Wells.” His voice was controlled, but Sara could see a muscle tick in his jaw.
Her mother’s smile broadened. “Mr. Travers, how nice of you to join us. Have you been listening from the hallway?”
“Long enough to know this discussion is finished, ma’am. And I’d appreciate if you’d stop filling my daughter’s head with your celebrity mumbo-jumbo.”
“She has star potential,” Rose cooed.
“I believe Sara asked you to leave.”
“Daddy, don’t be rude,” Claire said, crossing her arms across her chest. “Sara’s mom wants to help me.”
“You don’t need her kind of help.”
Tears welled in Claire’s wide eyes. “You don’t understand anything,” she yelled, and tore past Josh, her angry footfalls echoing from the stairs.
Rose pressed her soft pink lips together. “Well, that’s unfortunate. How do you think her mother would feel about a chance at Claire making it in the big time?”
Josh felt his blood turn from boiling to ice-cold. He knew exactly how Jennifer would feel—thrilled about an opportunity to meet bigger Hollywood A-listers and score better drugs. While Claire’s mother was still one of the most beautiful women in the world, she’d lately gotten more press for her partying than her photo spreads. She’d even lost her contract as the face of one of the big cosmetic companies because of her extracurricular activities.
The only saving grace was that the further she spiraled out of control, the less Jennifer took an interest in Claire. Josh planned to go back to court and file for sole custody once the ranch was stable and profitable. He didn’t figure Jen would fight him, but that would change if she thought Claire was useful to her.
He took a step toward Rose. “Stay away from my daughter and out of my family’s business,” he commanded, not trying to hide his anger.
To her credit, the older woman didn’t flinch. “It’s too bad you’re building your business in a house that should rightfully belong to me.” She tapped one finger against her mouth, a slight smile playing at her lips. “Claire really is lovely. Plus she has a budding flair for the dramatic. I like that in a girl.”
Sara moved in front of him before he could wrap his hands around Rose’s birdlike throat. “Enough, Mother. The house belongs to me. I’m telling you to leave. Now.”
Rose backed away, palms up. “I can take a hint, honey. But I’ll be back. One way or another, mark my words.”
“This isn’t The Terminator, Mom.” Sara leaned in and said softly, “Are you so desperate to keep your boyfriend that you’ll stoop this low this to get what you want? I always thought you had a replacement guy waiting in the wings. I guess things get tougher as you age. How sad.”
Josh watched Rose’s perfectly bronzed cheeks turn a deep shade of pink. “I don’t know what I did to deserve such an awful daughter,” she said with a sputter. “I gave up everything for you and this is how you repay me? You were a horrible, colicky baby and a demanding child. You couldn’t even make something of the career I practically gift wrapped for you. Does it make you happy to watch your own mother struggle when we both know you could help me if you wanted to? You make me sick.”
He saw Sara’s sharp intake of breath as Rose stormed past them both, slamming the door shut in her wake.
“Okay, then,” Sara whispered after several moments, her back still to him. “That was fun and a great trip down memory lane.” She said the last with a laugh that caught in her throat and turned into a strangled sob.
Josh reached for her and slowly turned her so she was facing him. His gut twisted at the tears that filled her eyes. “I’m sorry,” he told her. “You don’t deserve that.”
She shook her head. “I’m the one who’s sorry. That she’s giving you so much trouble. For ideas she may have put into Claire’s head.” She swiped her hands across her face. “I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure she doesn’t corrupt Claire, Josh. She’s an amazing girl. I know you only want what’s best for her.”
He trailed a thumb across a stray tear that ran down her cheek. “Even if I’m an idiot about knowing how to talk to my own daughter?”
She sniffed. “All men are idiots sometimes.” Holding up her fingertips, she cringed. “I can’t cry anymore. My makeup is going to run all over the place.”
He wrapped his hands around hers. “Why do you wear so much makeup anyway? You don’t need it.” As soon as the words were out, he regretted them. Jeez, maybe he should ask her if she was pregnant next or say her thighs were fat. He really was an idiot.
She stared at him for what seemed like minutes as he braced himself for an explosion. Instead, she said softly, “It makes me feel protected—like armor. People see the goop and not me. I like it that way.”
The brutal honesty of her words contrasted with the stark vulnerability in her eyes. His breath caught and his cold, hard heart melted. She leveled him. He bent forward and dropped a soft kiss on each of her eyelids. Up close she smelled like cinnamon and honey, sweet and spicy at the same time.
“I see you,” he whispered against her forehead.
“That’s a James Cameron line,” she answered, her voice not quite even. Her hands pressed against his chest as she pressed into him. “From Avatar.”
He smiled and brushed his mouth across hers. “You know a lot of movies.”
“Uh-huh.”
“And you talk too much.”
“Probably. I think it’s because—”
He covered her mouth with his, ran his tongue along the seam of her lips until she opened for him. Everything about her drew him closer. He savored the feel of her in his arms. His hands trailed up and down along her back, played with the soft strands of her hair. Her whole body pressed into him, and for a moment he tried to hide the evidence of his desire. Then she moaned into his mouth and he lost all coherent thought.
She pulled his shirt out of his waistband, and her long fingers were cool on his skin. “Good lord,” he muttered as what was left of his brain cells took the fast train south.
He tugged at the top of her shirt and trailed kisses from her jaw down her neck and across her collarbone. Just as he moved aside her bra strap, a horn honked from the driveway below. He bolted upright. The horn blared again, this time followed by a chorus of loud whooping and slamming doors.
“Travers, where the hell are you? Let’s get this party started, man!” a deep voice called.
Josh met Sara’s gaze, knew his eyes were as hazy as hers. He stepped away and cursed under his breath, dug the heel of his hand into his forehead, willing his brain to start functioning again.
“Who is that?” she asked, her voice shaky as she readjusted her shirt.
He cursed again. “Our first guests.”
“Your friends from the rodeo? I thought they weren’t coming until next week.”
“Sounds like they’re early.”
She blew out a breath. “Right. We can do this. I’ll find April and have her whip up something for dinner. Most of the things on the itinerary can be moved up to the next few days. I’ll make calls once everyone is settled. Ryan can at least put sheets on a few beds.” She turned toward the door, all business.
He tugged on her arm, pulling her back against him, and wrapped his arms around her. “Are you okay?” he asked, his lips just grazing her ear.
“No, I’m freaking out. These are the first paying guests. Things have to be perfect.”
“As long as we have cold beer and lots of food, they’ll be fine. I mean, are you okay?”
She stiffened in his arms and he held her tighter. “I’m fine. I’m sorry about my mother. I’ll try to control her better.”
“You’re not responsible for your mom. She shouldn’t have said what she did to you. It will work out in the end. I’m not giving up.” He paused then asked, “Are we okay?”
She wiggled until he released her. “There is no we, Josh.”
Irritation bubbled in him. “That’s funny, because I don’t think I was kissing myself just now.”
She threw him an eye roll over her shoulder. Her big blue eyes held none of the spark he’d seen earlier. She’d been so relaxed on the mountain, more of whom he believed she truly was. Not the guarded, fragile woman who stood before him now. “We were both upset. No big deal. It was a kiss, not a marriage proposal.”
Her attitude got under his skin and he couldn’t help baiting her. “Are you looking for a marriage proposal, Sara?”
“Not from you, cowboy,” she answered with a scoff, but her shoulders tensed even more.
He wanted to grab her, kiss her until she was once again soft and pliant in his arms. The horn honked for a third time and he heard a loud knocking at the front door.
Sara smoothed her fingers over her shirtfront. “Go greet your buddies. I’ll get everyone moving.”
“This conversation isn’t finished,” he told her as he headed for the stairs.
“My end of it is,” he heard her say under her breath.
He smiled despite his frustration, wondering how the fact that she always had to get in the last word could be so endearing to him. He shook his head, making a mental note to start thinking with his brain rather than other parts of his anatomy.
* * *
Sara came through the back door of the main house an hour later. Music streamed into the kitchen as April appeared from the family room, two empty platters in her hand.
“You’d think those guys hadn’t eaten in months,” she grumbled. But Sara noticed her grin and the light in her eyes. April was at her best when she could take care of people.
“I’ve got the two big cabins made up. That should hold everyone. Do you need anything?”
“I’ve got another batch of wings ready to come out and a vat of queso dip almost heated. I’ll need to run to the grocery tomorrow. We should at least make it through breakfast.”
Sara glanced at the spotless counters. “Can I help clean up?”
April gave her a knowing look. “Go introduce yourself. They’re rowdy but seem nice enough. Four guys and one girlfriend. Her name is Brandy. She’s a looker in that farm-fresh way.”
Sara took a tube of deep plum lipstick from her jeans pocket and applied a liberal layer to her mouth. “I don’t want to interrupt.”
“It’s a party in there,” April countered. “The more the merrier.”
“Has he told them who I am?”
April’s smile turned gentle. “I don’t think so. It’s not a big deal, you know. Maybe they won’t recognize you.”
“How old is Brandy?”
“Early twenties.”
“Unless she was raised without a TV in the house, she’ll know me.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It doesn’t matter in L.A. Much. I can blend in a little in the land of falling stars. Especially with a new crop of beautiful losers coming through every year. But here it’s just me—the only big fat failure for miles.”
April took a pot holder and opened the oven to pull out a baking sheet of wings. They smelled delicious. “Did you ever consider you might be the only one who believes you’re a failure?”
“My mom thinks I’m a failure,” Sara said with a shrug.
“Your mom is a witch.”
Sara snorted. April didn’t call people names. Ever. “Whoa, there, lady. Them’s fightin’ words.”
“Bring it,” April said as she dumped the wings into an oversize basket. Her hands free, she turned and hugged Sara. “I’ll take down your mother and the broom she rode in on.”
“You’re a Buddhist.”
“I’ll make an exception for her. And you. Go out there for a few minutes. Have fun tonight, Sara. You deserve it.”
“What would I do without you?” Sara gave her friend one last squeeze and walked into the family room.
Josh and his four friends sat on the sofas and chairs surrounding the coffee table, filling the large room with their presence. Three of the men looked around Josh’s age. The last one was so young he seemed barely out of puberty, despite having the broadest build in the group. Two were clearly brothers, both blond, tall and lanky. The third had a thick head of midnight-black hair and deep brown skin. The young one reached for another handful of chips, a shock of red hair falling over one eye. As a whole, they were tough, rangy and utterly male. Something Sara was unused to in Hollywood.
“It’s enough testosterone to choke you,” a voice said close to her ear.
Sara turned to see a young woman standing at her side who was as “farm fresh” as April had described. Her light brown hair was pulled back in a plastic clip and cascaded in healthy, unprocessed waves to the middle of her back. She wore little makeup other than a hint of lip gloss, and her soft denim shirt was tucked into a pair of high-waisted jeans. Actual Wranglers, if Sara guessed right.
“You must be Brandy,” she said and held out her hand. “I’m—”
“Serena Wellens,” the woman finished, her eyes widening.
“I go by Sara now. Sara Wells is my real name.”
Brandy pumped Sara’s hand at fever pace. “I loved Just the Two of Us. My sister and I lived for Tuesday nights.”
“Thanks,” Sara said weakly, her stomach beginning to churn. She braced herself for the questions about her career, her fall from stardom, her stint in rehab. She waited for criticism to cloud Brandy’s gaze.
Her eyes clear, Brandy glanced around the room. “Josh said this house belonged to your grandmother.”
That was it? Where was the third degree she was so used to from people she met in L.A.? She answered, “I didn’t know her well, but she left it to me when she passed.”
“It’s a great setup and really nice of you to help Josh make it work this summer. Having a place of his own for Claire means the world to him.”
Her mother’s refrain from her childhood filled Sara’s mind: “the world doesn’t revolve around you.” Based on life in Crimson, that might really be the case. Maybe outside the dysfunctional Hollywood bubble, people didn’t care about her past. She wanted to keep the conversation away from her personal life so she asked, “Do you know Josh well?”
“Those four are like brothers.” Brandy nodded. “Manny and Josh started the circuit at the same time. Noah and Dan are the only ones related by blood, ten months apart. Irish twins, if you know what I mean? Noah doesn’t actually ride. He does search and rescue up here in the mountains, but he’s an honorary member of this crew. I’ve been dating Dave, the older one, for about five years.”
“You don’t look old enough for that.”
“We met when I was sixteen at a county fair in Indiana. My dad’s a big-time doctor so it about killed him that I had it bad for a bull rider. He’d expected me to follow in his med school footsteps. But I graduated high school and got a job at a preschool so I could have summers off to be with Dave.”
“How’d your dad take that?”
“He was on fire for a while, but in his heart he wants me to be happy. He learned to live with it. You know how it goes.”
Sara only wished that were true.
“We’re getting married this fall.” Brandy held out her left hand where a small diamond ring glittered on her finger.
“Congratulations. I hope you have a great life together. What about the baby-faced redhead?”
Brandy smiled. “That’s Bryson. He’s new this year and the guys have taken him under their wing. He was dying to meet Josh so came with us to the ranch. I’m sorry if getting here early made extra work for you.”
“It’s no biggie.” Sara watched Josh throw back his head and laugh at something Manny said. “He seems happy tonight.”
“He seems happy here,” Brandy corrected. “We weren’t sure whether he’d recover from the accident.”
Sara turned her attention more fully to the other woman. “I didn’t realize his injuries were life threatening.”
“The physical part was bad, but the worst part was losing his career and the life he’d known. He took it hard. If it wasn’t for having to get things together for Claire, I’m not sure he would have made it.”
Sara had assumed Josh’s leg and the surgeries he’d endured to fix it had been the worst of his struggles. She knew a thing or two about losing a career and the emotional damage it could inflict. She hadn’t considered she and Josh might have that in common.
“I’ll introduce you.” Brandy walked forward into the room, clearly expecting Sara to follow.
“You all need a chance to catch up,” Sara said, suddenly feeling out of place in her low-slung jeans, tight T-shirt and heavily made-up face. Even the streaks in her hair made her feel like an outsider. It was one thing to wear her carefully crafted mask in California, but these people were real. She felt like a huge phony.
“Come on.” Brandy’s smile was open and friendly. “They know me too well to be on their best behavior. Without backup, I’ll be stuck judging burping contests, or worse.”
Sara couldn’t help but return Brandy’s smile. “For a few minutes, I guess.”
“Hey, y’all,” Brandy announced over the music. “This is Sara. She’s keeping Josh’s tight buns out of trouble this summer. And she’s taking care of all you yahoos while we’re here. Try not to make her regret the hospitality.”
Sara felt a blush rise to her cheeks as the attention turned to her. That and the mention of Josh’s buns. Good gravy.
All four men jumped to attention. “Nice to meetcha,” Dave said, coming around the coffee table to shake Sara’s hand before draping a long arm across Brandy’s shoulders. “Thanks for taking us in early.”
“No wonder you look so dang happy,” Noah told Josh as he came to stand in front of Sara. “You are the prettiest thing I’ve seen in ages,” he said to her, making her color deepen. She put out her hand but he swatted it away, instead grabbing her up in a bear hug and twirling her in a fast circle.
“Put her down,” Josh ordered.
“Oh, darlin’, you smell so good. Sweet as my mama’s apple pie.” He nuzzled his face into Sara’s neck. She heard Josh growl behind him.
“I mean it, Noah. Enough.”
Manny stepped in front of Josh. “Señorita,” he crooned, pulling Sara away from Noah’s tight embrace. “You make us crazy hombres act even more loco.” He took her hand, but instead of shaking it, brushed his lips across her knuckles.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Josh grumbled.
“Wow,” Sara whispered. She hadn’t experienced anything like this in years. To be the center of attention for these men was strange and exhilarating, like the first time she’d flipped through channels and watched herself on TV. She felt strangely exposed, but not in a bad way like she had so many times in L.A.—still safe, although not quite herself. It gave her a dizzy sort of feeling.
“You guys are funny,” she said with a giggle, then cupped her hand over her mouth. Sara was not a giggler by nature.
Manny released her hand as Noah stepped forward. “I feel like I know you from somewhere. Do you have a twin sister?”
Sara’s shook her head as her grin evaporated. Here it comes, she thought.
He paused and wiggled his eyebrows. “Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the world,” he said to a chorus of groans from the rest of the group.
Josh gave him a quick thump on the head. “Knock it off, bozo.”
“Who died and made you boss of me?” Noah countered, his good-ole-boy ease replaced with six feet of tall, angry man. Josh’s shoulders stiffened.
“It’s okay,” Sara said, stepping between the two.
“Not to me,” Josh answered. It felt like all the air whooshed out of the room at the intensity of his tone.
Noah studied Josh. “Is there something you’re not telling us? You guys have a fling going on here?”
“No,” Sara and Josh answered at once. Josh continued, “I don’t want things complicated while you’re here.”
“Uncomplicated,” Dave said, giving Noah a soft elbow to the back. “That’s us.”
“Dinner,” April announced in the ensuing silence.
As quick as that, the mood changed again. “I’m starving,” Noah said, heading for the dining room.
“With service like this, we may never leave,” Manny agreed with a wink at Sara as he passed.
When everyone else had left, Sara turned to Josh. “I know they’re just joking with all of the compliments. Trying to be nice.”
“Those guys don’t do nice.” He scrubbed one hand across his face.
She put her fingers on his arm, shocked at the tension in his corded muscles. “What’s the problem?”
“Is Noah your type?”
“What?” The question took her aback.
“At first I thought it was Ryan, the slick Hollywood bit. But maybe you’d like slumming with a bad boy. Tell me, which way is it going to go?”
Sara sucked in a breath. “You are way out of line, Josh. My idea was to spend the night holed up in my cabin. Alone. But April convinced me to come out here to meet your friends. It was hard as hell since I was sure they’d give me the same once-over I get every day in L.A. then make a big deal about who I used to be. But you know what? Those guys were nice. And sweet. And funny. I don’t get that a lot and would appreciate if you’d stop raining on my parade with your bad attitude.”
She whirled away but he held her wrist. She wouldn’t turn around but felt his heat against her back. “I’m sorry,” he said finally.
“Fine. Now let go.”
He didn’t release her. “You deserve someone nice, sweet and funny. You deserve someone whole. I hope you find that man. Even if it’s one of those guys. Any of them would be lucky to have you.”
She looked over her shoulder and her breath caught at the stark pain in his eyes. “What do you mean whole?”
He dropped her arm. “Never mind. Let’s go eat.” He moved past her without another word.
As he walked from the room, her gaze caught on the slight limp in his gait that became more pronounced at the end of a long day. She couldn’t answer for herself, but she was certain he didn’t deserve the self-inflicted solitude he seemed to carry as his burden. He’d had everything in his life taken from him. Not the slow unraveling that marked her failure, but one instant that stole his future and challenged a reputation he’d built for years.
At least she knew that she could go back to acting if given the chance. His days on the back of a bull were done. She couldn’t imagine the strength it had taken him to move on, to start over on the ranch and with Claire. How could he think he was anything less than whole? His strength of character was deeper than most of the men she’d known combined.
The question remained: What did she want in a man? Her eyes roved over his strong body as he disappeared around the corner, a shiver dancing along her spine. It had been years since she’d considered dating after a string of relationships with would-be actors had left her hollow inside.
Josh was 100 percent real man. As she followed him into the dining room, the thought crossed her mind that she might not even be up for the challenge that he held.
Once again, she reminded herself it was a good thing she was only on the ranch for the summer. For any number of reasons.
