Читать книгу Nicky & Lou - Nataniël - Страница 10

When I was a young boy, before puberty clouded my brain and made me lustful and moody, several women had huge influences on my life and the shaping of my character.

One of them was Mrs Gagiano. She lived in the same street as us, just on the other side of an empty piece of veld. Her house was incredibly long, it sat almost directly on the street, stretching from one end of the property to the other. It was also the narrowest house in the world, sometimes if you entered too excitedly, you walked right out the back. Nobody knew why the house was built like that, it was like living in a drawing. Mrs Gagiano had a husband and children, but nobody knew where they were. My father said they were probably hunting for food because she never cooked anything that was filling.

Mrs Gagiano was busy in the kitchen every day, but she only made preserves, little cakes, dainty sweets and tiny tartlets. She wore shapeless floral dresses and pointed shoes with no heels. Sometimes she would tie ribbons to the washing line and call it a maypole. Once my mother saw us dancing and came running down the street. She told Mrs Gagiano to stop, she said boys who danced with ribbons became theatrical and developed weight problems.

Another woman who had a major impact on my young life was my piano teacher, Miss De Roode. She was very old and spoke softly with a Dutch accent. I could never understand what she was saying and cried after every lesson.

One day my mother told me it was Miss De Roode’s birthday. She wrapped twelve square biscuits in paper and told me to give it to her. At the piano lesson Miss De Roode took a bite out of one of the biscuits. Then she said a Dutch word and fell forward. She lay on the floor with her eyes wide open and her tongue hanging out of her mouth. I did not know what to do so I played my most difficult piece without any mistakes, then I went home.

I told my mother Miss De Roode was lying on the floor.

It’s probably the nuts, said mother, Not everybody can eat nuts.

The next day Mother baked two large caramel cakes. She put one on a plate and told me to take it to Mrs Howard’s house.

I would have gone myself, she said, But Miss Jennifer is coming to visit.

Mrs Howard was a large, gentle woman with very small feet, she looked like a genie that was not completely out of the lamp. She had pale skin with pink spots on her arms and her neck. Mother said it was probably the sun, not everybody could be in the sun.

Mrs Howard opened the door and took me to the kitchen. She made tea and cut two slices of cake. Then she took a bite. The next moment she spat it out and screamed, Bastard! Then she went down on her hands and knees and roared like a lion. I did not know what to do so I put the rest of the cake on the floor next to her and went home.

Mother was sitting with Miss Jennifer. I told her Mrs Howard was roaring like a lion.

It’s probably the flour, said Mother, Not everybody can eat flour.

She poured wine into a glass and gave it to Miss Jennifer. Miss Jennifer took a sip. Then she threw the glass on the floor and grabbed her chest. She started inhaling violently while her chest grew bigger and bigger. Finally she lifted off the chair and started floating through the room. I did not know what to do so I pushed her into the next room.

Don’t push her into the furniture, said Mother, Make her go into the garden. It’s probably the alcohol. Not everybody can drink wine.

The next day we had a huge bake sale at the church. There were hundreds of people eating and drinking. Some fainted, others gasped for air, some turned green and others started shaking.

Why are they behaving so badly? I said.

They’re not behaving badly, said Mother, It’s just their bodies reacting to things they should not have.

If God made the world, I said, Why would He fill it with people whose bodies react?

I don’t think it’s God, said Mother, I think it’s the people. When people are unhappy with their lives or feel neglected or are unable to escape from their circumstances, their bodies develop allergies. It is often their only way of showing they are from somewhere else or want to be somewhere else.

I have never forgotten those words. Since that day my biggest dream has been to be from somewhere else. In the years that followed I tried everything in my power to develop an allergy. I have eaten like nobody else has, I have drunk from the cup of life and every other one. Nothing. I have sniffed, licked, sampled and sucked everything I could get my hands on. And my body has agreed with it all.

It breaks my heart, but I guess if there is one person on earth who is from here, then it’s me.

(from the Winter Show stage production, 2009)