Читать книгу Healing Broken Hurts - Nelson Chamberlin - Страница 4

Of all the more than 50 books I read on the subject of marriage and divorce, Jim Smoke’s book “Growing Through Divorce” was the most influential to me. I borrowed heavily from his book to organize our program. You may find it helpful as well.

To begin … we discovered that the place for meeting was better suited outside of the church building. Some participants may be reluctant to set feet inside a church. We conducted our workshops in a comfortable setting of sofas, chairs, tables, and a fire place in our own home (basement Great Room). We had a person ready at the front door to greet them and direct them to the place where we were meeting. We had a place to put their coats (on our pool table) where they could readily identify them when they were leaving. We noted where the restroom facilities could be located.

We served refreshments each night toward the end of the session when participants were encouraged to remain and share their thoughts and concerns with each other and with us. We promised that we would not conclude any session until the last person was ready to leave.

Paper plates, paper cups, paper napkins and plastic silverware were made available. A good supply of Kleenex was always available because tears tended to flow occasionally.

We charged a minimum fee ($30-$35) for the entire seven sessions, and offered scholarships for those who could not afford the fee. Once money is invested participants are more likely to attend each session, and we emphasize how vital this is because our workshops build upon each of the previous sessions. They were advised that if they were going to be unable to attend any session, we would provide them with a tape recording of that session so that they would not fall too far behind the other participants in this program. That recording would include only the input from the leaders but would exclude all the comments by the people attending.

OUR SCHEDULE

Session One — “Does Anyone Know Or Care How I Feel?”

Session Two — “How To Cope With Your Ex-Spouse”

Session Three — “Forgiveness … Finding A New Start In Life”

Session Four — “How To Assume Responsibility … For Yourself, Your Children, and Your Future”

Session Five — ” What Do I Do With All That Money I Don’t Have Anymore?”

Session Six — ” Hey, God! What Do I Do About Sex?”

Session Seven — ” To Live and Love Again”

We note from the beginning: In consideration of all participants, things that are revealed in confidence here among us are agreed to remain confidential. We want to develop a sense of mutual trust and confidence in this group. Your understanding and agreement is essential to the success of this workshop.

We began each session at 7:15 P.M. with Coffee and an Informal Get-Together.

At 7:25 P.M. we had what we called SHOW-AND-TELL-TIME which offered participants the opportunity to report on the progress they had made toward the goals they had set for themselves the previous week. Those who set goals and achieved some progress usually were anxious to share where they had come from. Those who failed to set goals for themselves or were unable to see much personal progress were usually reluctant to participate in this discussion. We emphasized strongly the importance of setting personal goals for themselves each week.

At 7:35 P.M. we delivered what was called THE KEYNOTE ADDRESS. In subsequent chapters you will discover the text of some of those Keynote Addresses.

At 8:00 P.M. we opened the class for GROUP DISCUSSIONS AND EXERCISES led by my wife (LaDonna). A list of questions was offered each evening in which we encouraged the class to respond and discuss. Some of those will be seen in later chapters.

At 8:45 P.M. we had what was termed THE POST-GAME SHOW in which participants were encouraged to get separated with other participants and share their personal lives with each other. We discovered that as time went on many of them would arrange to meet with other classmates at restaurants during the week to share more and develop close friendships. We made ourselves available during the Post-Game Show to counsel individually with those who felt the need to do so, and we remained until the last person was gone.