Читать книгу Light Thickens - Ngaio Marsh, Stella Duffy - Страница 14

Rehearsals for the duel had begun and were persisted in remorselessly. At 9.30 every morning Dougal Macdougal and Simon Morten, armed with weighted wooden claymores, sloshed and banged away at each other in a slow dance superintended by a merciless Gaston.

The whole affair, step by step, blow by blow, had been planned down to the last inch. Both men suffered agonies from the remorseless strain on muscles unaccustomed to such exercise. They sweated profusely. The Anvil Chorus, out of tune, played slowly on a gramophone, ground out a lugubrious, a laborious, a nightmare-like accompaniment, made more hateful by Gaston humming, also out of tune.

The relationship between the three men was, from the first, uneasy. Dougal tended to be facetious. ‘What ho, varlet. Have at thee, miscreant,’ he would cry.

The Macduff – Morten – did not respond to these sallies. He was ominously polite and glum to a degree. When Dougal swung at him, lost his balance and ran, as it were, after his own weapon, wild-eyed, an expression of great concern upon his face, Morten allowed himself a faint sneer. When Dougal finally tripped and fell in a sitting position with a sickening thud, the sneer deepened.

‘The balance!’ Gaston screamed. ‘How many times must I insist? If you lose the balance of your weapon you lose your own balance and end up looking foolish. As now.’

Dougal rose. With some difficulty and using his claymore as a prop.

‘No!’ chided Gaston. ‘It is to be handled with respect, not dug into the floor and climbed up.’

‘This is merely a dummy. Why should I respect it?’

‘It weighs exactly the same as the claidheamh-mor.’

‘What’s that got to do with it?’

‘Again! We begin at the beginning. Again! Up! Weakling!’

‘I am not accustomed,’ said Dougal magnificently, ‘to being treated in this manner.’

‘No? Forgive me, Sir Dougal. And let me tell you that I, Gaston Sears, am not accustomed to conducting myself like a mincing dancing master, Sir Dougal. It is only because this fight is to be performed before audiences of discrimination, with weapons that are the precise replicas of the original claidheamh-mor, that I have consented to teach you.’

‘If you ask me we’d get on a lot better if we faked the whole bloody show. Oh, all right, all right,’ Dougal amended, answering the really alarming expression that contorted Gaston’s face. ‘I give in. Let’s get on with it. Come on.’

‘Come on,’ echoed Morten. ‘“Thou bloodier villain than terms can give thee out.”’

Whack. Bang. Down came his claymore, caught on Macbeth’s shield. ‘Te-tum. Te-tum. Te – Disengage,’ shouted Gaston. ‘Macbeth sweeps across. Macduff leaps over the blade. Te-tum-tum. This is better. This is an improvement. You have achieved the rhythm. We take it now a little faster.’

‘Faster! My God, you’re killing us.’

‘You handle your weapon like a peasant. Look. I show you. Here, give it me.’

Dougal, using both hands, threw the claymore at him. With great dexterity, he caught it by the hilt, twirled it and held it before him, pointed at Dougal.

‘Hah!’ he shouted. ‘Hah and hah again.’ He lunged, changed his grip and swept his weapon up – and down.

Dougal leapt to one side. ‘Christ Almighty!’ he cried. ‘What are you doing?’

Grimacing abominably, Gaston brought the heavy claymore up in a conventional salute.

‘Handling my weapon, Sir Dougal. And you will do so before I have finished with you.’

Dougal whispered.

‘I beg your pardon?’

‘You’ve got the strength of the devil, Gaston.’

‘No. It is a matter of balance and rhythm more than strength. Come, we take the first exchange a tempo. Yes, a tempo. Come.’

He offered the claymore ceremoniously to Dougal, who took it and heaved it up into a salute.

‘Good! We progress. One moment.’

He went to the gramophone and altered the timing. ‘Listen,’ he said, and switched it on. Out came the Anvil Chorus, remorselessly truthful as if rejoicing in its own restoration. Gaston switched it off. ‘That is our timing.’ He turned to Simon Morten. ‘Ready, Mr Morten?’

‘Quite ready.’

‘The cue, if you please.’

‘“Thou bloodier villain than terms can give thee out.”’

And the fight was a fight. There was rhythm and there was timing. For a minute and a quarter all went well and at the end the two men, pouring sweat, leaning on their weapons, breathless, waited for his comment.

‘Good. There were mistakes but they were comparatively small. Now, while we are warm and limbered up we do it once more but without the music. Yes. You are recovered? Good.’

‘We are not recovered,’ Dougal panted.

‘This is the last effort for today. Come. I count the beats. Without music. The cue.’

‘“Thou bloodier villain than terms can give thee out.”’

Bang. Pause. Bang. Pause. And Bangle-bangle-bang. Pause. They got through it but only just and they were really cooked at the end.

‘Good,’ said Gaston. ‘Tomorrow. Same time. I thank you, gentlemen.’

He bowed and left.

Morten, his black curls damp and the tangled mat of hair on his chest gleaming, vigorously towelled himself. Sir Dougal, tawny, fair-skinned, drenched in sweat and breathing hard, reached for his own towel and feebly dabbed at his chest.

‘We did it,’ he said. ‘I’m flattened but we did it.’

Morten grunted and pulled on his shirt and sweater.

‘You’d better get something warm on,’ he said. ‘Way to catch cold.’

‘Night after night after night. Have you thought of that?’

‘Yes.’

‘Why do I do it! Why do I submit myself! I ask myself: Why?’

Morten grunted.

‘I’ll speak to Perry about it. I’ll demand insurance.’

‘For which bit of you?’

‘For all of me. The thing’s ridiculous. A good fake and we’d have them breathless.’

‘Instead of which we’re breathless ourselves,’ said Morten and took himself off. It was the nearest approach to a conversation that they had enjoyed.

So ended the first week of rehearsals.