Читать книгу Midnight in the Desert Collection - Оливия Гейтс - Страница 63

HE STARTED. “How did you know I am called that?”

“Your name means lion. There’s a lion on your bedspread. It wasn’t much of a leap.” She was a scientist after all, making deductions based on observations was one of the things she did best.

“My grandmother told you, didn’t she?”

She would dearly love to say no, but Genevieve had mentioned it, confirming Iris’s supposition. “She said the mantle of lion had been passed from Hanif to you when you took over the tribe.”

“My grandfather is still strong.”

“But not the primary protector for the Sha’b Al’najid.”

“No. That is now my honor.”

She rubbed their bodies together delightfully. “Just as it is my honor to give you pleasure.”

“You think so?”

“Yes.”

“It will then be my honor to please you, as well.”

She wasn’t going to argue that. Their lovemaking was always explosive and very, very special. At some point, Asad was going to realize what that meant.

They were meant to be together.

He’d gotten sidetracked six years ago, but this time her eyes were fully open, which meant she could help him get the sand out of his when his vision got a little cloudy concerning them.

He made a bed on the ground with their clothing piled under his robe, and still he insisted on her riding him rather than lying beneath him. It wasn’t her favorite position, not because it didn’t feel good, but when she got lost in the pleasure, sometimes she forgot to move. He helped her, guiding her with a strong but tender grip on her hips, his own body thrusting upward and sending her into panting delight.

His own lust grew faster than she would have thought possible as his eyes fixed on the way her breasts jiggled with her movement. “You are so lovely in your passion, little dove.”

Her feminine pride preened under his heated approval, while the bliss inside her body coiled tighter and tighter.

They kissed to muffle their cries when they climaxed, their bodies shuddering in unison. She collapsed on top of him and lay there quietly for several moments of utter contentment.

“This is right,” he said.

“Us?”

“Here in the open, with my land all around us, my people tending their herds in the distance.”

He liked making love outside. Before coming to Kadar, that was one thing she would never have guessed. She thought it endearing how he considered the land his, though really, it belonged to the country.

They cleaned up with Asad’s kuffiya, and then returned to the survey site with him wearing only his shirt and loose trousers. He looked debauched and she found she liked the look on him.

When she told him so, he informed her that she looked sated and that was a look he found pleasing, as well. She grinned in response and took his hand without hesitation when he reached out to her.

When they got back to the survey site, Russell told them that Nawar was still sleeping. Iris felt the need to check on the little girl regardless. When she backed away from the tent after insuring Nawar was still slumbering, Iris bumped into Asad.

He smiled down at her. “You wanted to make sure she had not woken, despite the fact she has not left the tent?”

“She might have realized we were not here—I mean, you weren’t here—and been nervous about coming out.”

“But she is fine.”

“Yes.”

He smiled, his white teeth flashing. “When she was a baby, I would go into her room at night and lay my hand on her chest to confirm she was breathing.”

“I probably would have done the same thing,” Iris admitted with a laugh.

“Yes, I think you would have.” He brushed her cheek. “You will make a wonderful mother.”

She didn’t answer, just kept his gaze for several long seconds filled with profundity she only hoped he felt, as well. Then Russell broke the spell, telling her he needed help with a measurement.

Feeling guilty for neglecting her work, Iris sprang to her feet to do so, but Asad grabbed her wrist.

She looked at him with question.

“I am glad you are here.”

“I am, too.” And she meant it from the very depth of her soul.

She only hoped she’d feel that way in a few weeks when it came time to leave. If he did not ask her to stay, she wasn’t sure she wouldn’t beg him to let her anyway.

What was pride in the face of love and the hope of a family?

Asad’s phone rang and he picked it up from his desk. “Hello.”

He was enjoying a rare day working in his office; Iris and Russell were testing samples in their portable lab.

“Hey, cousin.”

“Hakim.”

“How is Project Iris going?”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, come on. You insisted she be the geologist for this study. You don’t think I was blind to your ulterior motives.”

“I wanted to help her move forward in her career.” And maybe he’d wanted her back in his bed, but now … he wanted more.

The certainty had grown with each passing day. They fit in a way he had never done with Badra, and Iris was so good with Nawar. She would be a fantastic stepmother because she understood what it meant to be rejected. Iris would never visit such a thing on a child, but particularly not a child she had shown so much genuine fondness for already.

“And?”

“Maybe more.”

“From the way the air sizzled between you even after six years’ separation, I’d say a lot more.”

Asad had told Hakim about his former relationship with Iris and expressed his guilt for hurting her when he ended it. The king had been one hundred percent behind Asad’s plan for some small restitution. Now he had to wonder if Hakim had not seen something all along that Asad had been blind to.

All he said however was, “Perhaps.”

“Have you convinced her yet?”

Into his bed, assuredly, not that he would say so to his cousin. But for the more?

“I do not know.” He only wished he did, but his aziz seemed to make it her goal in life to confuse him.

Hakim laughed. “Good.”

Asad verbally encouraged his cousin to do something with a camel that was not anatomically possible.

The king’s laughter sounded over the phone again, this time louder. “You deserve a woman who will keep you on your toes. I am glad you found Iris. I cannot even wish you had not screwed up so badly with her in the past—if you hadn’t you would not have Nawar and she is a delight.”

Asad could not argue with any of that. At one time, all he’d felt toward the very existence of Nawar was anger and disgust, though he’d been loath to admit it, even to himself. But the first time he’d held her, he’d known. He would love that child forever.

He thought it was possible he was in the same boat with Iris, though he wasn’t quite ready to admit it … again, even to himself. “I would stand on my head for this woman, but she seems oblivious to my every effort.”

“That’s quite an admission. Changed your mind about the whole love thing since the last time we talked?” Hakim asked in a tone that said he knew the answer already.

“What are you? A gossiping old woman? Wanting to know my feelings.”

Instead of getting offended, Hakim’s chuckle said he was mightily amused. “What has you so confused, cousin?”

“She will not allow me to call her aziz.” He’d made the mistake of letting it slip out the night before and he’d woken up to an empty bed, Iris’s pillow cold from her departure.

“Catherine wasn’t thrilled with me using endearments she didn’t think I meant, either.”

“But you meant them?” He had to have. Hakim loved his wife fiercely.

“Yes, though it took me a while to realize it. Have you figured it out yet?”

“I have never heard my grandfather tell my grandmother he loves her, but their marriage is as enduring as the mountains.” Personally, Asad could happily live the rest of his life without making himself that vulnerable.

So long as it didn’t mean losing Iris.

“You don’t know what he says in their private moments,” Hakim observed. “But more importantly, he has not given Aunt Genevieve cause to doubt him. My esteemed great-uncle treats his wife like she is the queen of his existence and always has.”

“I have done my utmost to treat Iris with great affection and care since she arrived in Kadar. I’ve given up working in my office, put off meetings with important business associates and politicians.”

“Does she know that?”

“Naturally not.” He did not wish to make her feel bad for the time he made for her.

“How is she supposed to know she’s become the queen of your world if you don’t tell her?”

“I did not say she was my queen. She will be my lady.”

“She’s going to be the Sha’b Al’najid’s lady. You want her to be your wife.”

“It is the same.”

“Don’t believe it.”

Asad grumbled, “Catherine ran you a merry chase.”

“She did and I have never regretted one moment of it, or joining my life with hers.”

“You once told me that Catherine had regretted it,” Asad said, carefully.

What if Iris came to regret her time with him? She’d made it pretty clear in the beginning that she’d regretted their time together six years ago. Though he knew that was his fault and no one else’s.

“It’s true. Catherine almost left me once,” Hakim agreed, old horror at the thought tingeing his voice. “Do you want to lose Iris again?”

“No.” That was one thing he had no doubts about.

“Then you have to convince her to stay.”

“I am doing my best.” Asad made no effort to hide his exasperation. “She is more than receptive to my lovemaking. She adores my daughter and my grandparents.”

“But you are not sure if she still loves you?” Hakim asked perceptively.

Asad frowned, though his cousin could not see it and then sighed. “Does it matter?”

“You tell me.”

“What do I do?”

“Tell her the truth, that you brought her to Kadar to woo her into staying.”

But even he hadn’t known that was what he was doing at the time. Just as he’d been unaware of naming his daughter after Iris. Self-aware he was not, he thought cynically. “She’s already figured out that I was instrumental in her arrival here.”

“Does she know that most of the land she’s surveying is owned by your family?”

“No.”

“Maybe you should tell her.”

“Badra’s only interest was in my possessions.” He never wanted to see the light of avarice in Iris’s eyes.

Not that he would. Intellectually, he knew that, but there it was.

“Iris isn’t like that. Catherine and I only saw her for two days, but we worked that out immediately. The geologist will make you a much better wife than your late princess ever did.”

“Badra was never mine, no matter that she spoke vows.”

“And you were never hers.”

The truth of that would have taken Asad’s legs out from under him if he had not been sitting at his desk. “I love her,” he said with wonder and no small amount of trepidation. His heart and soul belonged to the introverted scientist irrevocably. “I always did.”

“Did you really just figure that out?” Hakim asked with disbelief.

“It’s not something I thought about.” Not until he’d had no choice but to do so.

“Catherine would say that’s something you should be telling Iris, not your cousin.”

“That I didn’t want to label my feelings for her?”

“That you have those feelings for her. I love you like a brother, I really do, but for all your brains, you can be dense, Asad.”

“You’re right.” It wasn’t easy admitting, but he had been beyond blind when it came to his feelings for Iris. If he’d had an ounce more self-awareness, he would never have left her in the States the first time. And that was something Iris needed to know. She deserved the words. “Your wife, on the other hand, is a brilliant woman.”

“She is that. She picked me, didn’t she?”

“Iris calls me arrogant. I think it’s a family trait.”

“Catherine is certain of it and is convinced I’ve already passed it on to our son.”

“Not your daughter?”

“My dear wife is convinced that men are arrogant, but women are merely assertive.”

Both men shared a laugh at that.

If Asad’s was filled a bit with gallows humor, Hakim did not mention it. Blinded by his pride and stubbornness, Asad had ejected the woman he loved from his life—and paid for that choice every day since.

It was all well and good for Hakim to say Asad should tell Iris of his love, but what if she no longer loved him?

She hadn’t said the words since coming to Kadar, not once. No matter how amazing their lovemaking. She had opened up to him in the past weeks, but remained adamant he not call her beloved.

Iris never hesitated to spend time with Nawar, but she changed the topic of conversation every time his daughter, or he, brought up the possibility of him marrying again and giving his daughter a mother.

Iris was close to being finished with her survey. And then she would leave Kadar. She never spoke in a way that indicated she planned anything else.

Her joy in her job was apparent, and from what the man who looked and acted more like a brother than an assistant said, Iris was very good at it. What right did Asad have to ask her to give it up?

If he did not, what kind of mother would she make for Nawar and their future children, gone so many months out of the year? Asad had been looking into other options for her that would give Iris the opportunity to use her education, but would not take her so frequently from his side.

What if none of them appealed to her?

What did he have to offer? His daughter, his family, his tribe … if she did not love them as he did, it would not be enough.

Had his grandfather felt this fear when asking for his grandmother’s hand?

To ask a woman not of their people to share their world was no simple matter. After his experience with Badra especially, Asad had realized his grandmother was the exception, not the rule.

But then that should give him hope, because Iris was a special and unique woman in every way, as well.

Iris finished one of the final tests that would confirm the presence of a semi-precious metal in the area near where she and Asad had made love outdoors. The thought of mining happening in the pristine environment made her stomach twist.

That was the least of her findings, though. Preliminary tests, measurements and observations indicated the existence of rhodium, a rare and very precious metal. It also demonstrated the probable existence of aluminum oxide with chromium—or rubies, in lay terms—buried in the mountains of Kadar.

She said as much to Russell and he frowned. “Your boyfriend is not going to be happy to hear that.”

“Why? Do you think he was hoping for diamonds?” There were some indicators for the stone, but not as strongly as for corundum.

“I think he was hoping for no strong indicators at all. Haven’t you two talked about this?” Russell asked, sounding a lot more concerned than she thought he should be.

“No.” They’d talked about his work and her career, but not the work she was doing now. “I’ve avoided discussing my findings because first reports should be made through proper channels to Sheikh Hakim.”

“How very professional of you.”

She frowned and tossed her half-finger leather gloves in a wadded ball at him. “Don’t make fun. It’s harder managing a professional and personal relationship together than I ever imagined.”

“But you spend every night with him and his family. None of them have mentioned the way Asad feels about mining to you?” Russell asked, sounding like he found that very suspicious, and not a little upsetting.

“The topic has never come up.”

“But you do talk about your job?”

“About my career as a geologist, yes. Just not this particular survey.” She’d never asked Asad what his stance on mining was. She’d assumed it was favorable, since he’d been the one to convince Hakim to bring her in as geologist.

“Sheikh Asad is one of the Middle East’s leading conservationist advocates. He is adamantly opposed to overmining, or mining at all when it’s done invasively to the ecosystem.”

“What? Are you serious?” Asad was an advocate for conservation? A leading advocate?

“Absolutely. He’s a spokesperson for preserving the desert habitat and with it the Bedouin way of life.”

“But how would mining in the mountains impact that?”

“You really think if a mining company comes in, they’re going to be okay with a city of tents as the base of their operations?”

“They’ll need workers.”

“Not Bedouins who are fiercely opposed to changing the landscape. Besides, do you really think Sheikh Asad wants his tribe working in mines? His whole tourist business is based on the Bedouin lifestyle mystique. He’s not going to give up his weavers and shepherds to the mines.”

Russell’s words made sense, but Asad’s behavior didn’t. Why hadn’t he told her he was so opposed to mining?

And if he was opposed, why agree to be the geologist’s liaison?

“You don’t think …” Russell let his voice trail off. “No, if he doesn’t talk about your reports, it can’t be that. It wouldn’t make sense.”

“What?”

Russell shook his head. “A stray thought and a bad one.”

“Tell me.”

“I was just thinking that if he was opposed to mining, he might get involved with the geologist responsible for preliminary reports that could influence his cousin to go forward with a more in-depth survey, or leave off the idea of mining altogether.” Russell looked very uncomfortable with his own thoughts.

Iris didn’t find them particularly palatable herself. Would Asad be that sneaky? Her heart said no, but her brain reminded her that he could be ruthless when pursuing a goal.

They needed to talk.

They were bathing together in Asad’s family’s private spring later that night, after putting Nawar to bed, when he said, “You will be finished here soon.”

“Yes, there is one final site we need to take samples and do our measurements.”

“I know. The remote location would make traveling to it daily untenable.”

“Mmm-hmm,” she agreed, her mind still preoccupied by her earlier conversation with Russell.

“Nawar should probably stay behind in the encampment.”

That made Iris’s attention snap back to the present and what Asad was saying. “But the fieldwork could take a week, or more.”

“She will be content with her grandparents.”

“She’ll miss you.”

“You, as well.”

Iris certainly hoped so. She would miss Nawar with a terrible ache in her heart. “Why can’t she come? We could bring Fadwa to help keep an eye on her.”

“Taking a child into the mountains is no simple task. Despite the way others view us, our encampment has many modern amenities we will not have access to in a primitive camp.”

“Don’t tell me a Bedouin sheikh is afraid of camping with his daughter, no matter how basic the amenities?”

“I simply do not want you overwhelmed with the consequences of having Nawar along. She will not be content to be ignored.”

“Of course not.” And Iris would never do so to the little girl. “She has a right to expect our attention.”

“But your job …”

“Will get done. It may take an extra day, or two, but isn’t that better than going without her?”

“For me? Definitely. But you have made noises about leaving Kadar, I thought perhaps you tired of us.”

“I didn’t come here to live, Asad. I came here for a job.” And she would stay only if it meant being a permanent part of his life, not a temporary bed partner.

“Perhaps you did come here to live, but did not realize it at the time.”

Her eyes narrowed. He was making implications she could not ignore. Iris needed it all spelled out though, not left to hopes and assumptions.

Starting with his role as a spokesman for conservation and his very public antimining stance. “You never mentioned that you spearheaded Our Desert Home.”

She’d spent her limited time with access to the internet well that afternoon. ODH was a nonprofit conservation organization started by Asad and his grandfather shortly after Nawar’s birth. They weren’t militant or extremist by any stretch, but Russell had been absolutely right. Their stance on mining was minimal impact, or no mining at all.

“I did not think it would interest you.”

“Really?” She wasn’t buying it. “I’d think I made my interest in everything about you pretty apparent lately.”

He shrugged, looking as if the topic was of little importance right then. That’s not the impression she got from his “Message from the Founder” on the website.

He took a deep breath and then met her gaze, his expression stoic. “There are other things I would discuss with you tonight.”

If she didn’t know better, she’d think he was nervous.

“First, we talk about this. Did you convince Sheikh Hakim to request me as the geologist on this survey in hopes of influencing what I say in my reports?” she asked baldly.

For a moment Asad simply stared at her in uncomprehending silence, but then the storm came. His eyes flashing, his jaw hewn from granite. “You believe I would attempt to get you to lie?”

“No.” She hadn’t really, no matter how ruthless he could be, but she’d felt the need to ask.

She wanted to hear his denial from his lips. She needed the words, just like she needed other words to change her life.

“If this is so, when have I ever asked about your findings? Or made a move to discourage you from telling anything but the unvarnished truth in these reports of yours?” he demanded, his voice deep with affront.

“I said no, Asad.”

“Then why ask the question at all?”

“I needed the words.”

Asad shut his mouth and stared for several long seconds, and then nodded. “Hakim said you did.”

“Hakim knew I entertained brief doubts about your motivation for bringing me to Kadar?” she asked in confusion.

“Hakim believes I should tell you my true motivation for arranging for your visit to my home.”

“We’ve already discussed this.” Hadn’t they?

“I wanted to help your career. You believe I wanted you in my bed again.”

“You did.”

“I wanted more, though I did not realize it at first. I want so much more.” His face was flushed and it wasn’t from the heat of the water. “I … six years ago I made the biggest mistake of my life walking away from you. I compounded it by marrying Badra, but you must believe I never stopped loving you.”

“You loved me?” she asked faintly, so shocked she could barely breathe.

“Yes, but I was a fool and I did not realize it. I had a plan stuck in my head and I did not know how to let it go.”

“You loved me,” she said again, this time with a tinge of wonder.

“I did. I do.” He surged across the pool in totally uncool urgency and grabbed her shoulders, his eyes intent. “So much. How could I not realize it? But I did not. I know now, though. Surely that counts for something.”

“Yes, yes … I think it does.”

“I hurt you.”

“You nearly destroyed me.”

“But you were strong … you are strong, so much stronger than I. I don’t think I will survive if you turn me away now.”

“What do you want?” she asked quietly, hope burning bright in her heart. “Spell it out for me.”

Don’t let her be making castles in the air again.

“A mother for my daughter. A lady for my people. A wife for myself.”

“Are you asking me to marry you?” she asked in choked astonishment, needing to be absolutely certain they were talking about the same thing.

Without answering, he pulled her out of the pool in silence. Drying them both, he wrapped her in one of the thick Turkish robes, and then, wearing a towel tied round his own hips, he dropped to one knee.

He met her gaze, his own so intent, she could drown in it. “Will you join your life with mine, until the sands are blown completely from the desert?”

That was a long time, a really, really, really long time. She wanted to answer, but her heart was in her throat … or at least that’s what it felt like and she couldn’t get even a single word out.

“Why … why … I need to tell you why,” he said urgently. Though hadn’t he already said? She wouldn’t mind hearing it again, just to be sure … to know she hadn’t been hallucinating. Right? “Because you are truly my aziz, my beloved. I loved you six years ago, but was too foolish to acknowledge it. I love you still. I caused us both great grief with my pride and stupidity, but I have taken no other woman to my bed since the month after Nawar was born.”

“You’ve been celibate for the past four years?” she gasped in total shock, the words exploding from her without thought.

He nodded, no embarrassment at the admission in his features. “I only had sex with my wife a handful of times before that.”

“But why?”

“You were my heart.” He averted his gaze, but then brought it back to her, determination burning there. “I told myself sex just wasn’t working because I didn’t trust women after the way Badra deceived me, but I’m the one that messed me up. Not her. Yes, she manipulated me, but only because I made it possible. Because I left you when I should have stayed forever.”

“You didn’t realize.”

“I would not admit it to myself, but it was you I wanted when I got my divorce from Badra—and then after she died, it was you I was waiting to claim when the prescribed time for grieving was over.”

And he’d hidden it all from himself because he was really bad at admitting what he needed. Maybe because he’d spent a lifetime hiding from the fact he’d needed his parents but they’d chosen to be elsewhere. She didn’t know if he’d ever come to see that, but she would make sure from now on that he didn’t go without the love he needed from her.

Not ever again. She wasn’t ever going to give up on him again, not like she had six years ago.

It was time she admitted that. “I let you go. I didn’t fight for you … for us.”

“I didn’t give you the chance.”

“You walked away. I could have walked after you, but I chose to go home and lick my wounds. I was too used to not getting love from the people I needed it most from. I’m never going to be that tolerant again.”

“Good,” he said fervently.

She brushed tears from her cheeks. “You really do love me.”

“With all that I am. Despite my pride, blindness and outright stupidity, God has seen fit to grant us a second chance. Will you take it?”

“Yes,” she gasped out as she fell to her knees with him and kissed him all over his face. “I love you, too. So much. I thought I would die when you left six years ago. I didn’t want to go back to the States after my survey. I only wanted to stay here with you and your daughter.”

“We will never again be parted.”

“My job …”

He stilled. “There are other options for a geologist.”

“Yes.”

“You would consider them?”

“Of course. I don’t want to be away from you and Nawar any more than you want me gone.”

“You are too perfect for me.”

“We are perfect for each other.”

“I will love you until the stars no longer grace the sky.”

“Show me.”

And he did. Magnificently.