Читать книгу The Rancher's Doorstep Baby - Patricia Thayer - Страница 5

AT SIX-THIRTY the next morning, Rachel dressed in a dark skirt and white blouse. The night had passed in a blur. She had relied on Cy and Cole to take the details about her sister’s accident. After the words, blown tire, she hadn’t processed much more. Later, Rachel learned that Sarah had lost control of her car and crashed into a tree. Her sister had been in a coma when the doctor delivered her baby four weeks prematurely.

Unable to sleep, Rachel had wandered through the house, trying to rid herself of the guilt that threatened to consume her. She should have tried harder to find Sarah, tried harder to bring her home.

Now, she was bringing home her sister’s baby daughter.

After packing an overnight bag for the trip to San Antonio, she went out where Cy and Cole were waiting beside the dark late-model truck. Cole took her bag and placed it inside the crew cab. She turned to Cy.

“Are you sure you’re well enough to handle things?”

“Shoot, I could do it with my eyes closed.” He hugged her. “To ease your mind, Bud Campbell is stopping by to help out.”

Rachel studied the man who’d been the only loving force in her life. He was like an uncle to her. “Just don’t overdo it. I left some chicken in the refrigerator for you. So be sure to eat it, and not that fried food and heavy gravy from the diner in town.”

“Stop nagging me, girl.” Cy hugged her. “You have enough to worry about.” He glanced at Cole. “Make sure she eats, too.”

“Will do,” Cole promised as he opened the door. “We better get on the road.”

After Rachel climbed in, he started the engine and headed toward Interstate Ten. Cole tried not to speed, wanting to arrive safely, but it was a long way to San Antonio. For the first few hours Rachel just sat there and stared out the window. The constant steady hum of the engine was the only sound in the truck cab.

“Do you think she suffered?” Rachel finally asked.

Her blunt question caught Cole off guard. He knew all too well how fragile life could be. How fast everything could be snatched away from you. Rachel knew it now, too. “I don’t think so. They said she was unconscious when they got to the car.”

He glanced out the windshield at the miles of highway ahead of them. He didn’t want to think about Rachel’s pain. He had no doubt she was feeling the hurt clear through to the bone. She’d lost a sister she hadn’t seen in years and that empty ache wasn’t going away…not for a long time.

“I used to hate her, you know.” Rachel turned to him. “I was so angry at her for leaving me. And not once did she wonder how I was doing…or how Father was.”

“I didn’t know your sister, Rachel. But maybe she had her reasons.”

“Oh, she had her reasons, all right. She hated the ranch and she hated Father.”

“A lot of parents and kids have disagreements,” he said, but he knew there was more. He’d heard about Gib Hewitt’s reputation. The men who worked for him considered him a tyrant. Apparently he hadn’t treated his daughters much better, either.

“Sarah always rebelled. It seemed she did things to purposely anger Father. One day she told me she was going to leave and make a life for herself.” Rachel looked away. “She took money from Father’s desk.”

Cole took his eyes off the road to glance in her direction. “What did your father do?”

“He said that she was just like our mother. That she was no good. He no longer had a daughter named Sarah.”

Cole cursed under his breath. “Your father might have been overly strict, Rachel, but Sarah had to know that you loved her.”

“All I wanted was for her to come home,” Rachel said and he could hear the emotion in her voice. “Now…it’s too late.”

“It’s not too late for her baby. You can bring her daughter back to the Bar H.”

But deep in his heart Cole knew too well that not everybody got a second chance.

Cole hadn’t been in a hospital in nearly two years. Not since Jillian had been rushed into emergency. Suddenly he felt light-headed and his body began to tremble. He fought it, but couldn’t push away the memories as the antiseptic smell threatened to choke him. There had been many times he’d wished it had. Then he wouldn’t have to face the questions, the accusations…the guilt.

For Rachel’s sake, he had to pull it together. It had been a long day already and she still needed to meet with the social worker in charge of her niece’s case.

Cole punched the button for the elevator and looked at Rachel’s pale face. He took her cold hand in his and held it while they rode up to the fourth floor. All too soon the bell chimed and they got off, then walked toward the nurse’s station.

“I’m Rachel Hewitt, and I’m here to meet Mrs. Nealey.”

The young, blond nurse pointed to the reception area where a middle-aged woman was seated doing paperwork. Rachel went to her. “Mrs. Nealey?”

The woman stood and offered a friendly smile. “Yes, I’m Beth Nealey. You must be Rachel Hewitt.”

“How did you know?”

“I saw a picture of you…in your sister’s things.”

Rachel’s eyes widened. “Sarah had a picture of me?”

The social worker nodded. “You were both a lot younger, but it was you.” She glanced at Cole. “I’m sure the police will give you the rest of her things now that you’ve been located.”

“My sister and I haven’t seen each other in over eight years,” Rachel whispered.

As much as he tried to stay back, Cole found himself stepping closer to offer his strength. “Had Sarah always lived in San Antonio?” he asked.

Mrs. Nealey shook her head. “The police and I have recently learned Sarah had been in town for only the past few months.” The social worker continued, “She rented a furnished apartment, and paid week to week. She worked as a waitress at a local diner. The car she was driving was registered in a friend’s name, Carrie Johnston, who was out of town at the time of the accident. Ms. Johnston returned this week and that’s how we learned about you, Ms. Hewitt.”

“What about the baby’s father?” Rachel asked. “Was Sarah married?”

“We haven’t found any record of a marriage license. According to your sister’s friend, the baby’s father wanted no part of the child’s life. If that’s so, you’re the baby’s only known relative.”

Thirty minutes and several questions later, Rachel excused herself and walked down the hospital corridor to the restroom. She needed some time to pull herself together. After washing her hands, she splashed cold water on her face. Instead of returning to the waiting area, she ended up in the small hospital chapel and knelt down.

For a while she prayed for the sister she’d missed every day since she’d left home. Then she began to question God as to why he took Sarah away.

A sadness like she’d never known before threatened to overwhelm her as she pictured the once laughing little girl she’d shared so much with. She raised her baby sister after their mother abandoned them. Sarah had followed Rachel around, mimicking her.

But as Sarah had gotten older, she began to rebel, refusing to let Gib Hewitt keep her under his thumb. Rachel had envied Sarah her courage…her courage to leave. That hadn’t stopped Rachel’s years of wishing Sarah would come back home.

But her sister wasn’t coming back. She had to accept that.

Rachel drew a shaky breath. A quiet peace settled within her as she said her final goodbye.

Now she needed to concentrate on making a home for her niece.

Cole watched Rachel as she came down the hall. It was obvious this was taking a toll on her. It hadn’t helped him much, either. No matter how hard he fought it his own memories had returned, threatening him with his own painful past, sending him back to the best and the worst times in his life.

He turned his attention to Rachel as she tried to smile, but didn’t quite pull it off. He automatically drew her close, reveling in her warm touch seeping into his skin. It could be addicting if he let it.

“I was in the chapel. Was Mrs. Nealey looking for me?”

Cole stepped back. “She came by and asked if you wanted to see the baby.”

Rachel’s brown eyes grew wide. “Really? But I thought she was still in the neonatal unit.”

“She is, but you’re allowed in because you’re family.”

This time her smile made it. “I am, aren’t I?”

“So, you ready to go meet your niece?”

Just then Beth Nealey arrived and led them down the hall to the glass window of the nursery. “The baby has been putting on weight for the past two weeks,” she said. “She’s at six pounds five ounces now. She’s taking three ounces of formula per feeding and keeping it down. Of course, the nurses will fill you in on her schedule before you take her home.”

Home. So soon?

Beth smiled. “I can’t tell you how happy we are that we found you—not that this little one would have any trouble finding loving parents, but a blood relative is always our first choice. Have you come up with a name for her?”

Rachel opened her mouth, but had no answer. “No…I haven’t thought about that.”

“It may help you to know that in your sister’s things, she had a baby blanket with the name Hannah Marie embroidered in the corner. But it’s up to you.”

Rachel nodded.

“Well, then, let’s meet your niece.” Mrs. Nealey motioned for her to follow.

She looked over her shoulder at Cole.

“I’ll wait here for you,” he told her.

Rachel hoped he’d go with her, but realized she shouldn’t depend on him, especially since he was leaving soon. At this moment she was selfish enough to take what was offered. She went through the door, and after she scrubbed up, was taken into the unit where a nurse removed a bundled baby from the clear plastic incubator, and placed the infant into Rachel’s arms.

She looked down at the tiny girl with a full head of dark hair, and scrunched up face, and her breath caught. The baby yawned and opened her eyes. They were the identical color of Sarah’s, crystal-blue. Rachel took the infant’s hand and when the tiny fingers gripped hers she fell instantly in love.

“I think I’ve decided on a name for her,” she said. “Instead of Hannah Marie, I’m going with Hannah Sarah…after her mother.”

“I want to talk with the doctor,” Rachel insisted when she came out of the nursery.

“Tomorrow is soon enough,” Cole said as he led her to the elevators. “I know you want to stay with the baby, but you need rest, Rachel. When you take the newborn home, you aren’t going to get any…for a while anyway. We’ll let the doctor know where we’re staying. In the meantime let’s get something to eat.”

An hour later, after a light supper, Cole registered them at the large chain hotel across from the hospital. He carried in the overnight bags they’d thrown together for the trip. They rode the elevator to the third floor, and walked silently down the corridor.

“I’ve never stayed in a hotel before,” Rachel announced. “Father would have thought it was a waste of money.”

Cole didn’t doubt that was something Hewitt would think. “Well, this isn’t the fanciest place around, but it’s nice enough.” In his travels, he had stayed in more places like this than he wanted to remember. He inserted the key card, showing Rachel how to open the door, then ushered her inside and flipped on a light, revealing two double beds, a dresser, desk and television.

“Oh, this is nice,” she said, looking around, and peering into the small bathroom.

Cole tossed her bag on one of the beds. “You’ll be comfortable here,” he said. “I’ll be next door if you need anything.” He went to the door that connected the rooms. “Don’t hesitate to call me.” He prayed she wouldn’t. He’d already broken too many of his rules about getting involved as it was.

Rachel felt awkward, shy. Cole Parrish was practically a stranger, and yet she’d never relied on anyone as much as she had this man. And she’d never been in this kind of situation before. Here she was alone with a man in a hotel room. Not that anything was going to happen. Her face suddenly flushed at the thought. But so many things had changed in the last few days. Her life would never be the same.

“I can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done,” she said. “Driving me all the way here…staying with me through…everything. I’ll pay you back…”

“No problem,” he said and opened the door. “Just get some sleep, Rachel.” Then he was gone before she could say more.

“You…too,” she whispered as the door clicked closed behind him. She looked around again. Suddenly the silence was oppressive and her feelings rushed to the surface. She collapsed on the bed and finally let go.

In his room, Cole stripped off his clothes and headed for the bathroom. He turned on the tap in the shower, and even before the temperature warmed he stepped in. He wanted the shock of the cold water to make him forget…again. Sticking his head under the spray, he fought back the memories—fought the emotions that threatened to bring him to his knees.

“Not now. I can’t,” he choked, wanting to remember the child he’d loved, but not wanting the pain that always accompanied the retrospection. But the two couldn’t be separated. He couldn’t have one without the other.

Cole quickly soaped his body and rinsed, then climbed out of the shower. After dressing in clean underwear and jeans, he walked into the bedroom. He decided some television might be a good distraction. He went to the table for the remote, and lying with his wallet and change, he found the small medallion he’d carried in his pocket for the past months. The tiny St. Christopher’s medal that was once pinned in his son’s crib, a crib that Nathan never got the chance to sleep in.

The familiar tightness constricted his chest, gripping his heart, making it hard to breathe. He welcomed the physical pain. He deserved it. He rubbed the medal between his fingers. It was a constant reminder of what he’d lost. What he could never bring back.

A faint sound drew Cole’s attention. He listened and realized it was Rachel crying in the next room. He told himself it was good she was finally letting go of her pain. He wasn’t going to invade her privacy.

Over an hour later, still unable to sleep, he’d gotten engrossed in an action movie, but not so much that he hadn’t kept an ear turned to Rachel’s room. It had been pretty quiet, and he was grateful she’d fallen asleep.

He had dozed off when he heard the murmured sounds, too loud to ignore. He got up and went to the connecting door, cracked it open and spoke her name.

No answer. He saw her lying on the bed, dressed in a white cotton nightgown that had ridden up, revealing long, gorgeous legs. Desire shot through him and he quickly dragged his gaze to her face as she tossed back and forth on the pillow, crying out. He went to her, and sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Rachel…” he said, but she didn’t answer. He finally reached out and touched her shoulder. She jerked up with a gasp.

“Cole,” she whispered in a husky voice. Their gazes locked and he wanted to absorb the sadness he saw in those depths.

“You were having a nightmare.”

She brushed back her long, wavy hair with a trembling hand. “Oh God, I was dreaming that Sarah came home. She was pregnant, but Father threw her out. I was running after her…begging her not to leave.” Her lips quivered as she fought for control. “Oh, Cole, I can’t believe it. She’s gone. I’d always hoped she’d come back.”

The dim light didn’t hide her anguish. “She might have. But it was Sarah’s choice, Rachel. She chose to leave and you chose to stay on the ranch. You can’t punish yourself for something you didn’t have any control over.”

She drew a shaky breath. “I wish it could have been different.”

“There are things we all wish could be different, but wishing doesn’t make it so.”

“I never got to tell her I loved her.”

Rachel Hewitt was a strong woman, but the past two days would knock the strongest person down. He finally pulled her into his arms and inhaled her soft fragrance.

He wanted desperately to give her strength, but he didn’t have any to spare. All he could manage was human contact, which he needed as much as she did. He caressed her back as he pressed a soft kiss on top of her head.

“It’s going to be all right,” he lied. His hands continued to move over her. The action seemed to calm her. He touched her hair, smoothing it back from her tearstained face.

“You don’t know,” she said. “Before Sarah left, I said so many awful things to her. I was jealous. She was so pretty. I was just…plain. She had everything and she was leaving me with Father.”

“Oh, Rachel, you could never be cruel on purpose and don’t ever say you’re plain.”

She raised her face to his, her eyes wondrous, making his pulse race. Before he knew what he was doing, he bent down and touched his mouth to hers, telling himself it was to reassure and comfort her.

She sucked in a tiny breath as he caressed her lips, tasting her softness, her sweetness. Her fingers raised to his chest and the contact seared his skin. He pulled her against his body and deepened the kiss. His tongue teased the seam of her lips open and Rachel whimpered. More heat surged through him.

It had been so long…so long since he’d wanted anyone, craved any closeness on a physical level. But Rachel was exactly the kind of woman he couldn’t get involved with. She wasn’t a one-night stand. She’d made him feel…too much. No, he couldn’t go through that again. He broke off the kiss and saw her eyes glazed with desire.

“Cole…” She spoke his name so intimately, as if they’d already been lovers.

He shivered and fought to keep his body in control. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. I was out of line.” He started to get up, but she refused to let him go.

“Please,” she whispered, “don’t leave me.”

Cole froze. He had to get out of there, but seeing Rachel’s panic, he couldn’t move. He of all people knew what it was like to need someone.

Without a word, he drew the blanket over her, then he laid on top and cradled her against him. He held her until he felt her go slack in his arms. She had fallen asleep. He smiled, then eased her off his chest. He started to lay her down on the bed when she tightened her hold.

“Please…stay,” she whispered, sleepily. “Just for a little while.”

He bit back a groan. “Okay, Rachel…I won’t leave you,” he murmured, then stretched out next to her and drew her to his side, her head resting against his shoulder. Maybe together, holding each other, they could keep the demons at bay. For a short time anyway.