Читать книгу Bisexuality and the Challenge to Lesbian Politics - Paula C Rust - Страница 25

There is widespread skepticism among lesbians about the existence of bisexuality. Very few lesbian respondents stated explicitly and unequivocally that there is no such thing as bisexuality, but many expressed serious doubts about whether it exists. In all, nearly one out of four lesbian respondents tends to believe that it does not exist (figure 4.1). Many of these women explained their opinions by providing descriptions of that which they do not believe exists. These definitions reveal that they base their opinions on a variety of different images of this nonexistent form of sexuality. For example,

It does not exist. To be bisexual would mean that a person were simultaneously involved in an intimate sexual relationship with a man and a woman. It is possible but would be better described as schizophrenic. (Marlene)

Bisexuality is a transition and exploration phase. Women may have sex with men and women but I think it’s only possible to fall in love consistently with one sex or the other. (Stephanie)

I don’t believe it exists . . . I believe it’s impossible to love men and women 50–50. One has to have stronger feelings one way or the other. (Naomi)

These three women have three very different definitions of what bisexuality would be if it existed. Marlene¹ defines bisexuality as simultaneous sexual involvement with both a man and a woman. Stephanie clearly rejects this definition, saying that it doesn’t matter whom one has sex with; she defines sexuality in terms of “consistent” feelings of love.

Naomi is the most restrictive, defining a bisexual as someone who has exactly equal feelings of love for women and men. Arguing that such phenomena would be rare or impossible, these women conclude that bisexuality is nonexistent or, as in the case of Marlene, a form of mental illness.

Other women have broader definitions of bisexuality but still believe it does not exist. For example, Julia defines bisexuality as a simultaneous attraction to women and men, but because she believes that attraction to women and attraction to men are antithetical, she does not believe that simultaneous attraction would be possible:

. . . it is very hard for me to conceive of a woman who is emotionally and physically attracted to women being also similarly attracted to men. I do not feel the two can co-exist. (Julia)

Many lesbians pointed out that some people claim to be bisexual, believe themselves to be bisexual, or behave bisexually, but argued that this bisexuality is illusory. Some fell short of actually saying explicitly that bisexuality does not exist, but the implication was unmistakable. For example, Karen believes that women who claim to be bisexual are really lesbians who either haven’t realized it yet, or who are trying to preserve their heterosexual privilege or avoid stigma:

My experience of women who define themselves as bisexual suggests that bisexual women are either really “lesbian” but using the bisexual label to preserve their heterosexual privilege in society or on their way to becoming a lesbian and using the bisexual label as a “safe” transition stage or experimenting with lesbianism but not in a serious way (“sexual tourists “). (Karen)

Other skeptics argued that claims of bisexuality are the result of confusion, youthful immaturity, lack of self-knowledge, indecisiveness, conformism, mental illness, or attempts to gain the acceptance of both the lesbian and heterosexual communities, to get the best of both worlds, to avoid stigma, or to avoid taking a political stand. Each of these beliefs about women who claim to be bisexual will be examined later in this chapter.

A number of lesbians were more circumspect about expressing their skepticism. They really don’t believe that bisexuality exists, but they are willing to reserve their final judgment. For example, Jerri wrote, “I find it hard to believe that people can be bisexual since it is so removed from my experience.” She left open the possibility that bisexuality really does exist and that her disbelief is a result of her inability to relate to it. Some lesbians’ comments even contained a note of sympathy, as did Barbara’s: “I am not convinced that it is a true entity but instead may represent a label attached to the group of people who are still struggling with their sexual identity and sexual preference.”

Other women harbor clear-cut doubts about whether all bisexuality is illusory, leaving open the possibility that a few women who claim to be bisexual might in fact be true bisexuals or that they themselves might be wrong in assuming that bisexuality does not exist. Some of these women took pains to explain that their opinions about bisexuality are based on limited experience with bisexual women or on their own experience of identifying as bisexual when they were coming out, and apologetically acknowledged that their impressions of bisexuality might be inaccurate. For example, Donna admitted her ignorance,

I don’t think about it much. I don’t think I’m well informed on the subject because I don’t know one person who calls herself bisexual. My uninformed tendency is to believe that bisexuals don’t know yet whether they are gay or straight and one day will decide. (Donna)

Sally apologetically drew conclusions based on her own experience and the experience of her friends,

As I said before, I’d rather not label anyone—however, the bisexual people I know are rather confused—not sure where their “loyalty” lies. This is the way I felt pretty much during the two years I thought I might be bi. (Sally)

and Mona did not entirely rule out the possibility of bisexuality, although she is inclined to disbelieve people who say they are bisexual:

Although I think many bisexual women are really lesbians who haven’t reached the point of being able to say so (just a period of transition), I believe there are people who are truly bisexual. However, I know few bisexuals and am pretty ignorant of the subject. (Mona)

According to Mona, and several other lesbians who share her opinion, bisexuality is indeed a valid, albeit rare, orientation. Although they tend to be skeptical of other women’s claims of bisexuality, they believe that among the many women who appear to be bisexual or who call themselves bisexual there are a few women who really are truly bisexual.