Читать книгу Yes, Please. Whatever!: How to get the best out of your teenagers - Penny Palmano - Страница 7

Just as I wanted to have well-behaved, polite children I could take out without running the risk of psychological help, I didn’t want confrontations, slamming doors, arguments and having to constantly apologize for their behaviour as teenagers. I like a sense of calm in our home and I wanted them to be charming and good company, not the stereotypical teenagers that are constantly maligned and sidelined as some sort of curious species to be constantly criticized, poked fun at and a constant source of amusement and derision.

And so many parents seem quite resigned to the fact that their own teenager’s opinions, sense of style, choice of friends, time-keeping and responsibilities is all part of a huge conspiratorial wind-up to test them to the limit.

Well, the good news is our children’s teenage years need not be a time of endless arguments, belligerence and aggression.

Your child’s transition from child to teenager should be welcomed and not dreaded as though you are about to make a pact with the devil and nurture a werewolf (although at times it may feel like that). Your children are reaching their final development stage, from that gorgeous little baby to who they are now with their own opinions and ideas. From the age of thirteen to eighteen you should delight in watching their ideas and thoughts mature. How your sixteen year old views the world, a totally different world to the one you knew at that age, is stimulating and even inspiring. Now’s the time you hear of their hopes for their future, from the thirteen year old determined to be a pop diva to the same child five years later who wants to go into medicine; this is a fantastic time.

The child who has reached the start of puberty is not some sort of alien but your beautiful little baby, who you sat up with all night and happily let vomit all over you. (And yes, this may well happen again but it probably won’t be milk!)

Their teenage behaviour is a barometer of how we dealt with them as children and how we deal with them now. So, always remember we only get the teenagers we deserve.

These final years will fly by (apart from on a few occasions) and soon your children will be gone – either to university, travelling, or out to work – and by then they have virtually left home. My daughter is now at university and sometimes I just go and throw wet towels on her bedroom floor to make it seem more like home.

So on the eve of your child’s thirteenth birthday when you kiss them goodnight, remembering what a darling child they have been and wondering what tomorrow and the next seven years will hold, don’t worry, relax, you can all enjoy it. Although admittedly some times will be more enjoyable than others!