Читать книгу Sweatpants at Tiffanie’s: The funniest and most feel-good romantic comedy of 2018! - Pernille Hughes - Страница 11

E.J. Leonards Solicitors was a proper old-school firm spanning five generations. Now on the brink of retirement himself, Leonards had conducted many will readings, yet still approached each with trepidation. On one hand, not unlike when watching Antiques Roadshow, there were joyful moments when he’d surprise the unsuspecting, announcing a windfall they’d never dreamed of. Those were his Fairy Godfather moments – he hoped the deceased wouldn’t mind. There were the cases which baffled him, where fortunes were left to cats, while the relatives gained an ornament bordering on the grotesque. He always suggested Antiques Roadshow in those cases. And then there were the wills he immediately sensed would be contentious. With Blackie’s he had a niggling feeling it might be a mix of all three, and Leonards always trusted his niggling feelings.

Whilst few people had been invited to the reading, the room felt quite full. The second Mrs Black sat with her son Aaron, Leonards felt he’d be reluctant to meet him in a dark alley. He’d seen enough of human nature in this job to not judge a book by its cover, but in this case the package, dirty tracksuit and all, appeared to match the attitude. They sat whispering about the will contents. Leonards’ hearing aid was always turned fully up on these occasions.

Leonards looked steadily at the young man. Mid-twenties with a prison record. He’d been jailed for beating up a girlfriend. Clear-cut case of vicious domestic abuse. Blackie had wanted to clout the boy black and blue, but Leonards had talked him down, convincing him to let the court mete out the justice. That lad had got everything he deserved. Nasty piece of work, that one. Leonards wanted the chair wiped clean once this reading was over.

Then there was Tiffanie Trent of course. She fidgeted at the side, attempting to smooth out the multiple creases in her skirt. A pile of accounts folders sat at her feet.

‘They’re all here and up to date, Leonards,’ she’d assured him on arrival.

‘Oh, I don’t need those, my dear,’ Leonards said cheerily, but seeing her face fall, added ‘however it’s lovely to have them.’

He liked Tiffanie, she was an unassuming girl of whom Blackie had been very fond. Leonards enjoyed the fact she felt her presence was simply to account for the book-keeping. For all her family’s problems, she wasn’t one of life’s spongers, unlike some he could think of. Shrewd as he was, he noted Tiffanie was deliberately ignoring the side of the room where Mike Fellner sat. Her appalled scowl when the boxer had appeared was unmissable and a fair clue of some history there. Old people were often dismissed as unperceptive. Not so Leonards, who recognised that the last week had been difficult for Tiffanie, not just regarding Blackie. While unaware of the details, the solicitor knew a troubled soul when he saw one.

Mr Fellner was accompanied by a much younger woman, introduced as his girlfriend, Verity. Leonards’ hearing aid had disclosed that while she was curious to hear why he’d been invited, she was keen for it not to last long; she was having her eyelashes extended at lunchtime.

‘We’re all here, so we should start. I’m sure you’re all busy people with jobs to do.’ At huge personal effort he managed not to fix Aaron with his beady eye. He had it on Blackie’s authority the lad suffered from chronic laziness, complicated by an acute case of entitlement.

‘Blackie was not without means, in spite of his past divorce, where his funds were significantly diminished.’ Leonards did not look up, although having watched Blackie being fleeced, he would’ve relished the opportunity to have his say on that. His professionalism won out. ‘He was, as we all know, a hard worker and fought to regain his wealth, living frugally, whilst showing a generosity to the youth of this town that I believe is well recognised and appreciated.’ Both Tiff and Mike were nodding their heads. Mrs Black sneaked a sly look at her watch, while Verity drummed her perfectly-manicured fingers on Mike’s thigh.

‘As it turned out, Blackie has a sizeable estate to leave – primarily the boxing club with its buildings, contents and profits – and so you have been asked here today, as beneficiaries.’ He was tickled to see Tiff look confused and Mike surprised, which was more than he could say for Mrs Black and her son, who were sporting a keen shade of smug.

Leonards then began the preamble that Frank Black, being of sound mind, did leave the following:

‘Firstly, to my stepson Aaron,’ Leonards read, pausing to appreciate Aaron’s triumphant smirk at being first on Blackie’s mind, ‘who I’ve not seen since the day his mother asked me to move out, but who has trusted me enough to telephone whenever he wanted financial aid, I leave all the inspirational posters from the walls of the club. You need guidance lad, and as I’m no longer around to offer it, I leave you the pictures which have inspired and guided many of the young men who’ve passed through the gym.’

Aaron’s face was no longer beaming. In fact, it looked as if it had been smacked with a flat implement. Something cricket bat-like, Leonards mused.

‘Moving on,’ he said briskly, knowing from experience it was best to pass swiftly through the lesser-well-received bequests, ‘To my ex-wife Bernice, I leave my heartfelt thanks. I thank you for our first two years, which were frenetic and flattering for a man my age, and for the following years which taught me age does not equal wisdom and that a man my age can still be a fool. I paid heavily for that knowledge, for which I also thank you, Bernice. In hindsight it was money well spent, and I’m sure you’ve spent my money well. Your almost bankrupting me served to remind me that under the paunch I was still a fighter at heart, and without that I wouldn’t have pulled myself up and worked as hard for my remaining years. I bequeath you my gratitude and the knowledge your avaricious ways did me a favour.’ His hearing aid hurt at the screech and the entire room managed a unified shuffle of awkwardness.

‘To Michael Fellner, I leave a couple of things. I pushed you on early my boy and didn’t you do well? You’ve done yourself proud. You’ve done me proud, as I always knew you would.’

Mike shifted in his seat, discomfited. Leonards ploughed on.

‘Your moving from my club was always a point of sadness, but I knew you needed more. At the time this was hard for you to understand; you felt I was rejecting you and cutting you off. But it was for your own good. I believed that then, and believe it still, although it pains me that our friendship was lost in the process. Michael, I said some harsh things back then and I apologise for that. I said what I said not because I meant it, but because I believed without doing so, you would never have left. If you hadn’t gone, if you hadn’t been able to focus on your talent, you would never have achieved your potential.’

Mike hung his head. Here Leonards wasn’t altogether sure of the story, but Blackie’s words clearly had poignancy for Mr Fellner. Neither were they lost on Tiffanie, who was suddenly watching the bruised boxer intently, though rather confused.

‘You’re a wealthy man now, Michael,’ the will continued, ‘and so I leave you something I wish you’d had at your disposal all these years; the ring. You may sell it of course, but should you have the space, and I suspect you might, then perhaps you’d find it in your heart to use it, and forgive an old man who said some things he regrets in the pursuit of a goal he does not.’ Leonards was used to the deceased being cryptic in their wills. They liked the drama. The relevant people usually understood.

‘Excuse me.’

The solicitor was surprised to hear Verity’s voice. As was Mike.

‘Yes, my dear?’

‘What sort of ring exactly?’ Leonards noticed the young woman’s fingers twitch, as well as a pointed glance she shot Blackie’s ex-wife who appeared on the verge of a conniption. ‘Are we talking about a woman’s ring or a man’s? Just to be clear. And any carats?’ Mike closed his eyes, dismayed.

‘There’s no jewellery listed in the effects I’m afraid, my dear. Blackie wasn’t a man for such items. In fact, I believe he even sold his watch when he needed some capital after the divorce.’ Mrs Black studied something through the window at this. ‘The ring in question is the boxing ring at the gym, an antique if I’m not mistaken, and quite a rarity too.’ Leonards spoke as if educating her, but her expression told him it was information she neither wanted nor appreciated.

‘Miss Trent,’ Leonards turned away from Verity, shuffling the paperwork. Tiffanie sat up straight.

‘Tiffanie, you’ve been through some tough times and yet you’ve persevered. I’ve always respected that. We both know, given kinder circumstances, your future could have been very different, and yet you’ve made a life and business for yourself. You’ve been a priceless support to me these last years, managing the office, the books and my tea intake, for which I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Sharing an office with you has been a pleasure, even though I lectured you about your boyfriend never appreciating you.’ Mike’s eyebrow arched and Tiff’s face flushed, no doubt wishing Blackie could have afforded her some discretion. Leonards thought them both foolish if they were surprised at Blackie’s directness even at this late date.

He continued ‘…but, in turn, you regaled me about the future of the club. So I leave it to you Tiffanie: the building, the land, and the remaining contents, so you can put your money – in fact my money, as you get that too – where your mouth is and make your dreams come true.’

Leonards discreetly turned his hearing aid down so Mrs Black’s response didn’t do him an injury.