Читать книгу The Cornucopia Radio Ebook - Peter Beeston - Страница 4

It seemed like such a good idea at the start. After all, the radio show had been a tremendous success, and their monthly podcast had been downloaded over a hundred thousand times in total. So surely it would make perfect sense that an ebook of their most popular scripts would be the next logical step. Wouldn’t it?

However, as Peter sat in front of the warm glow of his monitor, doubts began to rapidly flick across his mind. After all, the scripts were written to be performed, not to be read on a computer screen. They relied on performers creating funny, believable charactertures using nothing but the power of their voices; in turn elevating the material into something that people genuinely wanted to hear. But in script form? Were they really good enough?

Oh, and the spelling errors? Peter felt his head drop on the keyboard as the mere thought entered his mind. His team of performers had already gotten used to his unique method of chucking random letters on the page in the vain hope they might articulate the words which formed in his own head. But he knew that the general public would never stand for such unprofessionalism; even if he was giving the book away for free. Okay, he’d had the book spallchecked by numerous colleagues, but what if some error had slipped through unnoticed?

And then he started to think about the introduction. He’d already decided that the only interesting thing he could write was some meta-textual bullshit about how he didn’t have anything useful to write. It’d probably contain a line like:

“The reader read a line about how they had just read the same line, which Peter knew they would, because he had just finished typing that exact line on his computer screen.”

Hell, even Charlie Kaufman would baulk at that level of pretentiousness!

No, all he could do was hope that somebody, somewhere would find something enjoyable within this book, no matter how small it was. Even if it didn’t pass their own ‘enjoyability’ threshold, he hoped at least their interest would be piqued enough for them to visit the ‘Cornucopia Radio’ website, where they could listen to the finished audio productions as they were meant to be appreciated. Actually to help someone find the website in question, he decided this would be a good place to insert a hyperlink:

http://www.cornucopia-radio.co.uk

‘Oh well’, he thought as he came to the end of the page. Even if they don’t like the ebook, they can still access the hardcore pornography he’d hidden within the metadata of this file by pressing ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A.

At least that was something....