Читать книгу Stalking Salmon & Wrestling Drunks - Peter L. Gordon - Страница 12

Some charters are remembered as distinct events, like the woman who was nine months pregnant and laughing so hard she could barely hold her rod while playing a heavy fish. We were in choppy waters, the wind was blowing and rain was sheeting down, so her laughter mystified me. To keep her stable I had to hold her shoulders from behind while she stood on a pitching deck and played her salmon on bulky trolling gear. When the fish was finally in the boat, I asked her what she found so hysterical.

“My stomach is so huge I couldn’t find a place to rest the butt of the rod” was her answer.

Other events are not so much fun. I once had to pin down a guest and hog-tie him because of his violent behaviour. He and another family member had spent most of the night drinking, and they’d brought their drunken belligerence to the charter. The whole group was a problem from the moment they stepped onto the boat—most of them had also been drinking before boarding. Their family quarrel soon accelerated into physical violence. That was when I stepped in, pinning the most serious offender to the ground and tying him up. A trick in itself, that manoeuvre required the help of Sten.

As many police officers will tell you, in the case of family violence the family often turns on the person who intercedes. No sooner was this fellow tied up than I found myself the object of verbal abuse. The women screeched threats and the men crowded me, insisting I untie their relative. When I told them I was calling an end to the charter and we were going back to the dock, a huge outburst of anger ensued. The language was extraordinary and quite complex considering their earthy background, and of course I was the focus of their outrage. Briefly I thought I might be mobbed, so I pushed my way through the group and stood at the bottom of the companionway, which led to the helm. Sten had already turned us around and was heading to the marina at planing speed. When I looked up at him, he handed me what we called the Cardinal. An enhanced version of the Priest, it was a thick, eighteen-inch piece of gumwood I had turned on the lathe and fashioned into a mega fish bonker. I never weighed it but it must have been over two pounds; it was at least twice the size of the Priest. We seldom used it, but in this case it was just the thing to have in my hand.

When we reached the dock I used only two lines to moor the boat. With a lot of stomping, cursing and threats to notify “the authorities,” the group disembarked. As soon as they were all ashore, I slipped our lines and Sten took us out into the bay for a quiet evening of fishing. We returned to the dock later that evening with a couple of nice fish and having spent four hours full of laughter as we recounted to each other the events of what came to be called the Nasty Charter. It doesn’t matter what business you are in—it’s inevitable you’ll encounter a few nasty customers along the way.

As a result of this experience, I developed a company policy concerning the behaviour of guests. I made it a policy that on any charter or sub-charter the skipper could terminate the trip if the guests became unmanageable. In reality, most of the time we simply gritted our teeth, smiled and handed them the bill. However, we did put these people on a list of unwelcome guests and circulate their names through the hospitality industry in Victoria.