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Part III. Unnatural History.

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Table of Contents

I. Monkeys and Metaphysics… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … 105
Monkeys and Metaphysics. — How they found Seeta. — Yet they are not Proud. — Their Sad-Facedness. — Decayed Divinities. — As Gods in Egypt. — From Grave to Gay. — What do the Apes think of us?—The Etiquette of Scratching. — “The New Boy” of the Monkey-House. — They take Notes of us. — Man-Ape Puzzles. — The Soko. — Missing Links.
II. Hunting of the Soko… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … 127
Titus Andronicus.
“It is no gentle chase.”—Venus and Adonis.
“Whence and what art thou, execrable shape, That darest, though grim and terrible, to advance Thy miscreated front?”—Paradise Lost.
“You do it wrong, being so majestical, To offer it the show of violence.”—Hamlet.
“God made him, and therefore let him pass for a man.” Portia.
“With a groan that had something terribly human in it, and yet was full of brutishness, the man-ape fell forward on his face.”—Du Chaillu.

III. Elephants… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … 152
They are Square Animals with a Leg at each Corner and a Tail at both Ends. — “My Lord the Elephant.”—That it picks up Pins. — The Mammoth as a Missionary in Africa. — An Elephant Hunt with the Prince. — Elephantine Potentialities. — A Mad Giant. — Bigness not of Necessity a Virtue. — A Digression on the Meekness of Giants.
IV. The Elephants’ Fellow-countrymen… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … 170
The Rhinoceros a Victim of Ill-Natured Personality—In the Glacial Period. — The Hippopotamus. — Popular Sympathy with it. — Behemoth a Useless Person. — Extinct Monsters and the World they Lived in. — The Impossible Giraffe. — Its Intelligent use of its Head as a Hammer. — The Advantages and Disadvantages of so much Neck. — Its High Living. — The Zebra. — Nature’s Parsimony in the matter of Paint on the Skins of Animals. — Some Suggestions towards more Gayety.
V. Cats and Sparrows… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … 186
They are of Two Species, tame and otherwise. — The Artificial Lion. — Its Debt of Gratitude to Landseer and the Poets. — Unsuitable for Domestication. — Is the Natural Lion the King of Beasts?—The true Moral of all Lion Fables. — “Well roared, Lion!”—The Tiger not of a Festive Kind. — There is no Nonsense about the Big Cats. — The Tiger’s Pleasures and Perils. — Its Terrible Voice.— The poor Old Man-Eater. — Caught by Baboos and Killed by Sheep. — The great Cat Princes. — Common or Garden Cats, approached sideways. — The Physical Impossibility of Taxing Cats. — The Evasive Habits of Grimalkin. — Its Instinct for Cooks. — On the Roof with a Burglar. — The Prey of Cats. — The Turpitude of the Sparrow. — As an Emblem of Conquest and an Article of Export. — The Street Boy among Birds.

VI. Bears—Wolves—Dogs—Rats… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … 227
Bears are of three kinds, Big Bears, Middle-sized Bears, and Little Wee Bears. — Easily Provoked. — A Protest of Routine against Reform. — But Unreliable. — Unfairly Treated in Literature. — How Robbers went to steal the Widow’s Pig, but found the Bear in the Sty. — The Delightful Triumph of Convictions in the Nursery. — The Wild Hunter of the Woods. — Its Splendid Heroism. — Wolf-men. — Wolf-dogs. — Dogs we have all met. — Are Men only Second-rate Dogs?—Their Emotions and Passions the same as ours. — The Art of Getting Lost. — Man not inferior to Dogs in many ways. — The Rat Epidemic in India. — Endemic in England. — Western Prejudice and Eastern Tenderness. — Emblems of Successful Invasion. — Their Abuse of Intelligence. — Edax Rerum.
VII. Some Sea-Folk… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … 262
Ocean-folk. — Mermaids and Manatees. — The Solemnity of Shapelessness. — Herds of the Sea-gods. — Sea-things. — The Octopus and its Kind. — Terrors of the Deep Sea. — Sea-serpents. — Credible and Incredible Varieties. — Delightful possibilities in Cuttle-fish. — Ancient and Fish-like Monsters. — Credulity as to Monsters, Disastrous. — Snakes in Legend and in Nature. — Mr. Ruskin on Snakes. — The Snake-folk. — Shesh, the Snake-god—Primeval Turtles and their Contemporary Aldermen. — Impropriety of Flippancy about Turtles.
Under the Sun

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