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Part IV. Idle Hours under the Punkah.

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Table of Contents

I. The Man-Eating Tree… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … 295
“But say, where grows this Tree, from hence how far?” Eve to Serpent.
“On the blasted heath Fell Upas sits, the Hydra-tree of death.”—Darwin.
“Here the foul harpies build their nests. … With rueful sound, Perched in the dismal tree, they fill the air.”—Dante.
“Not a tree to be found in the valley. Not a beast or bird, or any living thing, lives in its vicinity.”—Foersch.

II. Eastern Smells and Western Noses… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … 306
“We confess that beside the smell of species there may be individual odours; … but that an unsavoury odour is gentilitious or national, if rightly understood, we cannot well concede, nor will the information of reason or sense induce it.”—Sir Thos. Browne.
“A nose stood in the middle of her face.”—Iago.
“A good nose is requisite also, to smell out work for the other senses.”—Autolycus.
“The literature of JSToses is extensive. Sterne has a chapter on them in ‘Tristram Shandy;’ and other authors have contributed respectively ‘A Sermon on Noses,’ ‘On the Dignity, Gravity, and Authority of Noses,’ ‘The Noses of Adam and Eve,’ ‘Pious Meditations on the Nose of the Virgin Mary,’ ‘Review of Noses.’ Shakespeare was never tired of poking fun at the nose or drawing morals from it, but what is more remarkable it might easily be proved constructively, from what he has said, that he believed, with Professor Jager, that ‘the nose is the soul.’“ Orielana.
III. Gamins… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … 316
“They are not dirty by chance—or accident—say twice or thrice per diem, but they are always dirty.” Christopher North.
“Oh, for my sake do you vdth Fortune chide. The guilty goddess of my harmful deeds, That did not better for my life provide Than public means, which public manners breeds. Sonnet (Shakespeare).
IV. Of Tailors… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … 326
“Some foolish knave, I think, it first began The slander that three tailors are one man.”—Taylor.
“O monstrous arrogance! Thou liest, thou thread, Thou thimble; Thou yard, three quarters, half-yard, quarter, nail; Thou flea, thou nit, thou winter cricket, thou— Braved in mine own house with a skein of thread! Away, thou rag, thou quantity, thou remnant!” Taming of the Shrew.

“Give the gods a thankful sacrifice. When it pleaseth their deities to take the wife of a man from him, it shows to man the tailors of the earth.”—Antony and Cleopatra.
“A tailor makes a man?” “Aye, a tailor, sir.”—Lear.
“Eemember how Master Feeble, ‘the forcible Feeble,’ proved himself the best of Falstaff’s recruits ; with what discretion Robin Starveling played the part of Thisby's mother before the Duke, and do not forget to their credit the public spirit of the tailors of Tooley Street.”—Orielana.
“I have an honest lad to my taylor, who I never knew guilty of one truth—no, not when it had been to his advantage not to lye.”—Montaigne.
V. The Hara-Kiri… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … 330
“Escape in death from obloquy I sought, Though just to others, to myself unjust.”—Dante.
“The pitiful, pitiless knife.”—Tennyson.
“Oh! happy dagger.”—Juliet.
VI. My Wife’s Birds… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … 341
VII. The Legend of the Blameless Priest… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … 359

Under the Sun

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