Читать книгу The Nanny Proposition - Rachel Bailey - Страница 11

Three

Liam clawed his way through the nightmare. A child was crying, desperate, inconsolable, wanting—no needing—him to do something. He woke with a start, wrenching himself from the grip of the dream. Except the crying didn’t stop. For a moment he didn’t understand...and then it all came back.

Bonnie. His daughter was crying.

He stumbled out of bed, rubbing his face with one hand and checking he was wearing pajama bottoms with the other. Sharing night feeds with a woman meant making sure he was dressed twenty-four hours a day. He flicked on a light and saw the time—two a.m.—as he headed down the hall.

Just before he stepped into Bonnie’s nursery, a light came on in the room and he saw Jenna, eyes soft with recent sleep, hair messed from her pillow and a white cotton robe pulled tightly around her body. She reached down and lifted his daughter into her arms as she whispered soothing words. Liam’s heart caught in the middle of his throat, and for a long moment he couldn’t breathe. The image in the soft light of the lamp was like a master’s watercolor. The ethereal beauty of Jenna, her expression of love freely given to his daughter, and Bonnie’s complete trust in return, was almost too much to bear. He couldn’t tear his gaze away.

Jenna glanced over and gave him a sleepy smile as she soothed Bonnie, and he felt the air in the room change, felt his skin heat.

Bonnie’s crying eased a little and Jenna said over her head, “She’s hungry. Do you want to hold her while I make up a bottle?”

He cleared his throat and stepped closer. “Sure.”

Jenna’s fingers brushed the bare skin of his chest as she laid Bonnie in the crook of his elbow. The urge to hold Jenna’s hand there, against his skin, was overpowering. He stood stock-still, not trusting himself to move. One thing was apparent—pajama bottoms weren’t enough. For future feeds he’d have to minimize skin contact by making sure he also was wearing a shirt.

She gave Bonnie a little pat on the arm, then moved through the door and down the stairs. He followed, mesmerized by the gentle sway of her hips under her thin, white robe, but he purposefully drew his attention back to where it should be—the baby in his arms.

Stroking his crying daughter’s arms in the same soothing motion Jenna had used, he followed Jenna into the kitchen and waited while she made up a bottle. She worked smoothly in his kitchen, as if she’d done this a hundred times before. Of course, she must have done exactly that for her own child. Had anyone else ever watched her and thought it was seductive? Her movements were simple, efficient, but with such natural grace it was almost as if she were dancing.

He was losing his focus again, damn it.

Was it the intimacy of the night that caused his reaction to his nanny? Normally the only women he saw at two o’clock in the morning—especially ones with sleep-tousled hair—were women he was involved with. Not that he often saw them here in his house. He preferred liaisons that didn’t have too much of an impact on his personal life or intrude into his personal space. Dylan had once pointed out that Liam’s philosophy was emotionally cold, but that had never bothered him—he wasn’t naïve enough to think the women he dated were looking for emotional fulfillment or promises of forever.

Besides, women weren’t interested in the real him, the man who was passionate about science and breeding new, unusual flowers, the man who had no time for the trappings of wealth beyond the security it could provide his family.

His oldest brother Adam had suggested that Liam had turned it into a self-fulfilling prophecy by choosing women he knew were attracted to him for his money or his looks, keeping things superficial and ending relationships before he allowed himself to be emotionally invested. Liam had ignored his brother—he was perfectly happy with things as they were. He’d never wake up to find he’d let his guard down and he’d fallen in love with someone who was using him for his wealth or had been merely entertaining herself with some twisted game the women he knew always seemed to be playing.

He leaned back against the counter and raised an impatient Bonnie to his shoulder. “Shh,” he whispered. “It won’t be long now.”

He wasn’t sure what game Bonnie’s mother had been playing. Her family was wealthy so she hadn’t needed his money, but the very fact that she hadn’t told him that she was pregnant showed she hadn’t been a woman he could have trusted.

“Okay, sweetheart,” Jenna said, turning her blue, blue gaze back to them. “Your bottle is ready. How about we go back to your lovely armchair to have it?”

She stroked her fingertips across Bonnie’s head as she passed on her way to the hallway, and suddenly—and against all his advice to himself—Liam was in the ridiculous position of being jealous of a baby.

* * *

Warm bottle in her hand, Jenna rubbed her scratchy eyes and walked down the second-story hallway. Even though it hadn’t been long since Meg had started sleeping through the night, she’d forgotten how demanding night feeds were.

As she reached Bonnie’s nursery, she paused and asked over her shoulder, “Would you like to feed her or shall I?”

Liam cleared his throat. “You do this one. I’m still watching your technique with these things.”

She nodded and settled into the armchair. She understood. Liam didn’t strike her as the jump-in-with-two-feet sort of man—he was a scientist. He’d want to gather all the information first so he’d be best placed to succeed when he did attempt something new. She’d felt his gaze on her in the kitchen as if he were trying to memorize the method of preparing his daughter’s bottle. Having the gorgeous Liam Hawke watch her every move was...unsettling, but obviously it would be part of the job as she taught him the skills to look after his baby and helped him bond with her. Surely she’d get used to it with time. A shiver ran up her spine, but she ignored it.

“You can pass her over now,” she said, keeping her voice even.

As he leaned down, his bare chest came within inches of her face, and the scent of his skin washed over her. She took a deep breath to steady herself, but that only intensified the effect, leaving her lightheaded. Thankfully, he didn’t linger as he deposited the squirming weight of Bonnie into her arms and stepped away.

As soon as Jenna gave the baby the bottle, she stopped flailing, all her energy focused on drinking. Jenna couldn’t contain the smile as she took in the sheer perfection of this tiny girl.

Liam was silent for long moments, then he crossed his arms over that naked chest. “How are you finding motherhood?”

Such a loaded question. Thinking of Meg when she was Bonnie’s age, Jenna lifted the baby a little higher and breathed in her newborn scent, then murmured, “It’s more than I expected.”

“More in what way?” His voice was low, curious.

“In every way,” she said. “It’s more challenging and more wondrous than I’d ever expected.”

He leaned a hip against the chest of drawers. “Does Meg’s father help?”

“No,” she said carefully. “Her father’s not on the scene.”

He cocked his head to the side, his attention firmly focused on her now, not Bonnie. “Do you have family nearby to help?”

“It’s really just me and Meg.” Her pulse picked up speed at the half-truth, and she cast around for a new topic before she spilled all her secrets to this man in the quiet of the night. “So Bonnie’s mother really didn’t tell you she was pregnant?”

He scrubbed a hand down his face, and then looked out the window into the inky night. “I had no idea until I got the call from the hospital. Rebecca and I had broken up eight months ago and hadn’t been in contact since. The next thing I knew, the hospital was calling to tell me that my ex-girlfriend had given birth to our daughter a couple of days ago and that Rebecca wasn’t in a good way and was asking for me. But before we got to the hospital, she had passed away. They showed me Bonnie—” he cleared his throat “I took one look at her and...couldn’t walk away. I’m sure you understand,” he said gruffly.

Her mind overflowing with memories of her own, Jenna looked down at the baby who had caused such a reaction in Liam. “There’s nothing quite as powerful as the trusting gaze of a newborn.”

“Yes, that’s it,” he said, turning to face her, “along with knowing I’m the only parent she has left. I’m hers. And Bonnie is mine.”

“That’s a beautiful thing to say,” she said, smiling up at him. It was true—as a single mother, she knew something of the challenges that lay ahead for him, but if he wanted his daughter, truly wanted her as it appeared that he did, then Bonnie was lucky.

“And now I have sole custody of a three-day-old baby.” He speared his fingers through his already disheveled hair. “It still feels surreal. Yet the proof is currently in your arms.”

“Oh, she’s definitely real.” Jenna smiled at him then transferred her gaze to Bonnie. “Aren’t you, sweetheart?”

“It’s a strange thing,” he said, his voice far away, “but the idea terrifies me, yet at the same time fills me with so much awe that I don’t know what to do with it.”

She knew that juxtaposition of fear and joy. Since she’d given birth to Meg, she knew it well.

Bonnie had finished the bottle, so she handed it to Liam, then lifted her against her shoulder and gently patted her back.

“What about Rebecca’s family?” she asked. “Will they be involved in her life?”

He tapped his fingers against the empty bottle in a rapid rhythm. “When I was at the hospital, I met Rebecca’s parents for the first time. They weren’t happy to meet me.” His expression showed that was an understatement.

“You hadn’t met them when you were dating Rebecca?” She’d always been intrigued about how couples navigated the issue of each other’s families when those families didn’t include the reigning monarch of the country. She’d assumed—perhaps wrongly—it was much simpler for regular people.

He shrugged one shoulder. “We were only together a few months, and we hadn’t been serious enough to meet each other’s families. Apparently she’d been living with her parents while she was pregnant and had planned to take the baby back there after the birth,” he said casually. Almost too casually. “They were going to help her raise my daughter.”

“Without you?” Every day she wished Alexander had lived—for so many reasons, but most importantly so Meg could have met and known him. What mother would deliberately deny her child the love of its own father?

“My name was on the birth certificate, so I have to believe she was going to tell me at some point.” But he said the words through a tight jaw. “And she did ask the staff to call me when she realized something was wrong, much to her parents’ annoyance.”

Watching the banked emotion in his eyes, Jenna put two and two together. “They’re not happy that Bonnie is with you.”

He let out a humorless laugh. “You could say that. In fact, I’ve already had a call from their lawyer about a custody suit they plan to file.”

“The poor darling.” Jenna brought Bonnie back down to lie in her arms and looked at her sweet little face. “To have already lost her mother, and now someone’s trying to deny her a father.”

“They won’t win,” he said, his spine straight and resolute. “My lawyer is dealing with it. Bonnie is mine. No one will take her away.”

And seeing the determination etched in his every feature, she had no trouble believing him.

* * *

The next morning, Jenna tucked both babies into the new double stroller and set out to explore the gardens behind the house. The call of the outdoors was irresistible once the sun was shining. Besides, she was feeling restless.

After Bonnie’s night feedings, she’d had difficulty falling asleep. Visions of the expanse of smooth skin on Liam’s torso had tormented her. Memories of the crisp, dark hair scattered over his chest had dared her to reach out and test the feel under her fingertips the next time he was near. Which would be wrong on many levels, starting with Liam being her boss. She grimaced. She hadn’t held many jobs—this was only her second paid position—but even she knew that making a pass at your employer wasn’t the path to job security.

Beyond the patio, a small patch of green grass was hedged by a plant with glossy leaves, and beyond that, rows and rows of flowers stretched. Bright yellows, deep purples, vibrant pinks. So much color that it made her heart swell. Workers in wide-brimmed hats were dotted among the rows, and off to the side was a large greenhouse.

As they moved through a gap in the hedge onto a paved walkway, Meg squealed and reached her little hand out toward the nursery before them.

“That’s where we’re headed, honey,” Jenna said to her daughter. “To see all the pretty flowers.”

She’d known Hawke’s Blooms had a large flower farm that produced much of the stock they sold in their state-wide chain of flower shops—and sent weekly deliveries to Dylan’s apartment that she used to arrange—but seeing it in person was another thing entirely. It was as if she’d been watching the world in black and white when suddenly someone had flipped the switch to full Technicolor brilliance.

She pushed the stroller through the gate in the chainmail fence that surrounded the whole farm and along the front of the rows, stopping at the top of each one to see what was growing there, bending an occasional flower over for Meg to smell. They hadn’t made much progress when she caught sight of Liam making quick progress toward her from the greenhouse.

“Good morning,” she said as he neared them. “We missed you at breakfast today.”

“Morning.” He nodded, his face inscrutable. “I wanted to get an early start to catch up on some work.”

She took a deep breath of air fragranced with flowers and freshly turned earth. If she worked somewhere like this she’d probably be eager to start her days too. “It’s beautiful out here. Meg and Bonnie seem to love it already.”

His eyes softened as he reached down to stroke each baby’s cheek with a finger. “It’s not a bad place to work.”

She lifted Bonnie from the stroller and placed a delicate kiss on her downy head. “What do you think?” Jenna whispered. Bonnie’s huge eyes fixed on Jenna’s face, then as Liam came near, they settled on her father. “Do you want to hold her?” Jenna asked him, her heartbeat uneven from his closeness.

“Yeah, I do.” He took his daughter and held her up for a long moment before murmuring, “Hello, Princess.” Then he tucked her into the crook of his arm. “Thanks for bringing her out.”

“No problem,” she said, trying not to react to Liam using “princess” as a term of endearment for his daughter. To cover any reaction, she lifted Meg up onto her hip and asked, “Do you work out here in the gardens?”

“I come out to check on things occasionally, and sometimes I’m in the second greenhouse where we do the propagating, but mostly I work over there.” He pointed to a long white building that looked more like an industrial complex than a gardening structure.

“What happens there?”

“The most interesting aspect of the entire business,” he said with a grin. “Research.”

Enthusiasm sparked in his eyes and she wanted to know more about what it was that made him happy, about what made this man tick. “Better ways to grow things?”

“We have people who work on that, but I prefer the plant and flower development side of things.”

“Creating new flowers?” she said, hearing the touch of awe in her voice.

“Basically. Sometimes it’s taking an old favorite and producing it in a new color. Or combining two flowers to create a brand-new one.”

She tilted her head to the side and regarded him. “So really you’re a farmer.”

“No, I’m a scientist,” he said in a tone that made it clear there was no doubt on this subject. “Though my parents were vegetable farmers before they moved here and started this business, and they always saw themselves as farmers.”

She looked him over. His pants were neat and pressed, albeit with dirt smudges on the thighs. And his shirt was buttoned almost to the top, though there was no tie. There was definitely an aspect of “scientist in the field” about him. Which made her wonder about how he ended up here.

She switched Meg to her other hip to accommodate her daughter leaning toward Bonnie. “Did you always want to join the family business?”

“When we were young, we didn’t have a choice. The business put food on the table, so we all helped. Dylan was a charmer even back then, and Adam always had an eye for a profit, so they usually manned the flower stall with Mom on weekends, and I helped Dad in the garden—digging, planting, grafting.”

She chuckled. “Sounds like your brothers got the easier end of the deal.”

“No, but I made sure they thought that.” He shaded his eyes with his free hand as he looked out over the gardens, maybe seeing them as they once were, not as they were now. “I loved those days. Dad teaching me to graft, then leaving me alone with a shed full of plants to experiment. And once he realized I could create new flowers, things no one had seen before, he gave me room to experiment even more.”

“Actually, that does sound pretty fun.” She glanced down at a nearby row of red poppies and, suddenly wanted to sink her fingers into the rich earth and do a bit of gardening herself.

Following her gaze, he crouched down to the poppies, barely jostling Bonnie. He picked a single poppy with two fingers and handed it to Meg, who squealed with glee. “And,” he said, still watching Meg, “there’s nothing quite like the satisfaction of creating something with your own hands and knowing that it will contribute to keeping your family clothed and fed.”

She could see him as a young teenager, focused on his experiments, carefully tending to the plants and recording the data in a spreadsheet. She smiled at the thought. “I’m guessing you were the serious one when you were kids.”

“Adam was pretty serious too. It was usually Dylan leading us astray,” he said, the corner of his mouth kicking up in a smile.

Having worked for Dylan for just over a year and watched him interacting with people, she could well believe that. Dylan Hawke had more than his fair share of persuasive charisma, and one day it would catch up with him.

Bonnie whimpered and flailed her arms, causing Liam to look from baby to nanny and back again. Without missing a beat, Jenna tucked Meg in the stroller and took Bonnie from her father as she asked, “So, have you worked here since you left school?”

Liam put his hands low on his hips, then dug them into his pockets, as if not sure what to do with them now. “I got a bachelor of science but kept my hand in here part-time. A double major in biology and genetics helped me with the development of new flowers.”

“I think it’s marvelous what your family has achieved here. What you’ve achieved here, Liam.” He and his family had taken their destiny in their own hands. Until she’d left Larsland, she’d been on a course mapped out for her by others, and even now, she wouldn’t trade having Meg for anything but she wasn’t on a path she would have chosen if she hadn’t gotten herself into a tangle. Liam was exactly where he wanted to be, doing exactly what he wanted to do. She admired that. “Thank you for sharing the story with me. It’s amazing.”

He shrugged. “Everyone’s story is amazing if you take the time to listen. Take you, for example. You grew up on the other side of the world and now you’re here. That’s interesting.”

Her heart skipped a beat. It was an invitation to share, and in that moment, she wanted nothing more than to tell him about her homeland, the beauty of a long summer sunset, how the winter’s snow left a blanket across ages-old stone buildings or that the majesty of the Baltic Sea skirted the edges of her former world. But she couldn’t. One slip and her whole story could come tumbling out. And then all the effort to create her new life would have been for nothing.

She leaned down and ran her hand over Meg’s blond curls, not meeting Liam’s eyes. “I really need to get Bonnie back inside for a bottle,” she said as casually as she could manage. “It’s been lovely being out here. Thank you.”