Читать книгу Words From the Other Side - Rachel Winter - Страница 8

The first time I went hungry, I realized

Not that it made me feel pretty.

Not that it made me feel strong.

Not that it made me feel like the ethereal

Flawless,

Perfect,

Charming

Young woman I'd seen promised to me.

No, first time I went hungry, I realized

That it made me feel like for once

In and among the disaster I lived

I was in control.

I was the conductor of my own destruction.

And that's why I became addicted.

I became addicted to being the master of my own demise.

I became addicted to being the only person who decided what went into my body.

I became addicted to the power over others

I became addicted to the power over myself.

Inside me grew an unending greed

An undying need to succeed

Watch me wither, disappear

Call me a control freak, I wear it with pride

Call me evil, I shall oblige

Call me a bitch, I will not cry

Call me a lapdog, not a lash I'll bat

Call me selfish, I will laugh

Your words don't phase me, I've run cold

Going hungry made me bold.

A fallen angel, my soul is old.

Let me be, alone and hungry

I ask nothing from you,

only from myself;

Control over every aspect of me.