Читать книгу The Lovin' Ain't Over for Women with Cancer - Ralph Alterowitz - Страница 3

It is an honor to contribute to this marvelous book. I write with the enthusiasm of a person who needs this book to refer to many friends and family who have received a diagnosis of cancer. Also, it is helpful to all of us as we age - including me! This book can help anyone to explore in depth the options available to satisfy sexual longings and enhance intimacy in a relationship.

Ralph and Barbara Alterowitz write with the ease and knowledge of those who have made the journey from cancer diagnosis to a positive change in their spousal relationship. The journey requires the kind of knowledge, understanding and caring that is obviously present in this much-needed book.

Each year, hundreds of thousands of women receive the shocking diagnosis of cancer. Just hearing it can burn in your ears until nothing else can be heard or felt. The dreaded “C” word brings with it another dreaded “C” word - change. Who can remain unchanged after receiving a diagnosis of cancer? However, most will find that their view of living can be adapted to suit the “new normal” Ralph and Barbara so vividly describe, which eventually comes after the diagnosis and treatment.

It is accurate to say that we are sexual beings from birth to death. As we move past inexhaustible adolescent sexuality, changes usually come slowly, until we realize one day that even when the spirit is willing the body may not be cooperating - whether from surgery, aging, medication or some other factor. While change is inevitable in ordinary living, cancer brings a special realization of imminent change that can be used by a couple to have a positive impact on their relationship.

When the immediate shock of the diagnosis subsides, questions emerge concerning mortality, image to others and self-image. You might ask, “Will my partner still be attracted to me? Is this the end to sex? Since I’m not going to die right away, what will my life be like?” To answer these questions and many more, invaluable information from people who have been where you are now is available in The Lovin’ Ain’t Over for Women with Cancer.

A cancer diagnosis may be received by a woman of any age, in or out of a relationship, and in any sort of relationship. Whoever you are and no matter what your situation may be, you will be able to find yourself in this book. The Lovin’ Ain’t Over for Women with Cancer can be viewed as a guide to better living through making informed choices regarding your relationships as well as by maneuvering some of the choices during treatment.

While loving sexual relationships are rife with ups and downs, scary emotions and angst, they are also a great source of security, bonding and fulfilling emotions. As the authors write, “Good loving is the physical expression of emotional intimacy, and there are few humans who do not want or need emotional intimacy.” How do you get there after cancer? The answer, “Good humor and information help,” is a tip from the authors.

How do you keep up relationships with friends, acquaintances and intimate partners during and after cancer treatments? The dreaded “C” words - cancer and change - can be dealt with via a good “C” word - communication. Communication that delivers confidence, closeness and understanding is a key to all good relationships.

While this book is intended to be mostly about relationships following a cancer diagnosis, Barbara and Ralph offer numerous tips throughout the book for anyone facing treatment for cancer.

Finally, this book is not only for the person who has received a diagnosis of cancer, it is also for your partner, because together you can strengthen your relationship while learning about how best to make this journey.

Ignorance is never bliss; knowledge is a light that obliterates ignorance and paves the way to better choices and a fulfilling life.

Joycelyn Elders, M.D.

Former Surgeon General of the United States