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List of Illustration

Now and then – outside 82 Caistor Park Road in 2014 and as a bouncing baby 57 years before.

My mum with Nanny Rich and the first of her three husbands.

My mum and dad together before Laura and I came along.

Me posing on a blanket like a dog at Crufts.

At another wedding with my cousin Charlie-boy (I’m in the middle, he’s on my right). Not sure who the hatless kid was . . .

Cowboy-style this time in hat terms – with Laura in Nanny Rich’s garden.

Early morning – the Cage with the sun rising in the east behind Christ Church, Spitalfields.

Old Spitalfields Market as it was – good luck finding a sack of King Edwards in there these days.

My dad looking suave on the market.

Spitalfields life before the clean-up, with The Cage, A. Mays and Christ Church in the background.

West Ham bringing home the 1964 FA Cup on their luxury single-decker. All four of the Winstones are in that crowd somewhere.

Repton boys at the London Feds . . . (I’m the one bang in the middle).

With my dad after beating David Heyland (the tall one on the left) who was Essex champ. Although I won, I gave David the bigger trophy – winning was enough for me, and he was a nice kid.

Ready to rumble.

In The Sweeney in 1975, shortly before making my unauthorised escape.

Me in Minder – with George Cole on the right and my fellow Corona old-boy Dennis Waterman between us.

Shadow-boxing with my mate Tony London on the beach at Torquay – Elaine made the right choice.

They called Esther Williams ‘A Goddess when wet’. . .

In Quadrophenia with my leathers and my Liberace haircut.

On honeymoon in the Canary Islands with Elaine and a camel.

We got straight off the plane home and went to the premiere of Scum – note the suitcases and my Quadrophenia badge.

The concluding riot in Scum – no need for Phil Daniels to help me out here. I was the Daddy by this time . . .

Luckily make-up doesn’t sting like a real shiner.

My dad at the bar in Church Street, Enfield – no sign of the Bobby Moore World Cup ice bucket for some reason.

‘Black Magic, Raymond?’ – ‘Don’t mind if I do’.

This is the outfit I wore on that plane trip to Cannes with Alan Clarke – not sure if the ‘foot up’ thing is quite working for me, though.

At the Edinburgh Film Festival with Scum in 1979.

In Canada in 1980 filming Ladies And Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains.

a) With Paul Simonon

b) A beery leer

c) With Steve Jones

d) Elaine offers me a lesson in microphone technique

e) Onstage as lead singer of ‘The Looters’

f ) Elaine is the meat in a Laura Dern/Marin Kanter sandwich

g) Paul Cook shows how a Sex Pistol occupies a chair.

Me with Alex Steene, John Conteh and Perry Fenwick, who plays Billy Mitchell in EastEnders. He’s a great mate of mine who comes from my manor. Well, close enough . . . Canning Town/Custom House.

Even Will Scarlet needs a fag break.

The face that launched a thousand arrows . . .

Lois with me, mum and Toffy, and then getting christened with me and Elaine.

Matthew McConaughey struggles not to look intimidated by my manly physique.